Superb You Funky Little Hobbit

20 | She/Her lbh we're all elf-fuckers even if we don't want to admit it Feel free to inbox!!! :) Main: @smorboll

[beyonce-knowles-carter]

THE LORD OF THE RINGS (2001 - 2003)

[even-in-arcadia]

very concerned about all this orb pondering.  have we as a society learned nothing from saruman??  from denethor???? 

[even-in-arcadia]

why do you think i’m so concerned about this romanticizing of orb pondering!!

[mirkwoodest]

enough orb pondering. orb violence.

[even-in-arcadia]

omg you fools

this is why we can’t have things

[cypresstheworld]

[itsocd]

[nbgpart-deactivated20220811]

modern au

[angelboyyy-deactivated20210325]

@tolkienblackgirl 😭😭😭🤣

[annelisters]

THE LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY

It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.

[scinnlaece]

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,“ said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING

[catchymemes]

[femmegimli]

merry and pippin are the type of fake friends who gush about you behind your back but when you talk to them in person they call you a little bitch boy and steal your food

[oneringofkeys]

#i know im op but boromir ghostwrote this through me 

[femmegimli]

merry and pippin: and THEN he showed us how to do this crazy move to disarm your enemies and it was SO cool because boromir is like the best at everthing and he’s really nice and funny too-

boromir, overhearing this: aw thanks guys!

m&p: …..

merry: Literally didn’t ask

pippin: who the fuck are you

[delphinidin4]

In The Lord of the Rings, Tolkien writes of Legolas,

“he could sleep, if sleep it could be called by Men, resting his mind in the strange paths of Elvish dreams, even as he walked open-eyed in the light of this world.”

I therefore suggest the following hypotheses:

1. Elves can sleep one half of their brains at a time, like marine mammals. They therefore seem to be half-asleep but can continue to do habitual tasks (in dolphins, for instance, continuing to swim and to go to the surface periodically to breathe).

2. Not being familiar with marine mammal behavior while sleeping, I posit that elves that are chasing prey (like Legolas chasing the Uruk-Hai in the passage above) will unconsciously follow the one member of their party that is taking their turn at being awake and consciously tracking their quarry. They might walk as in a hypnotic trance. This could lead to absolutely hilarious shenanigans.

3. Elves are therefore the most fearsome pursuit predators in nature, because even humans have to sleep SOMETIME.

I welcome discussion. And also ideas for the ridiculous things that could happen to elves when sleep-walking (or the pranks their friends could play on them).

[entertheaardvark-deactivated202]

Absolutely nothing funnier than all of these

[baelatargaryen]

Thorin’s entire company in the background: 😎👌…😳🕶️👌

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014) dir. Peter Jackson

[penny-anna]

if you choose to believe that in hobbit culture fat = sexy then when Gollum called Sam a ‘stupid fat hobbit’ from Sam’s perspective he was basically being called a himbo.

[penny-anna]

what gollum said: stupid fat hobbit

what gollum meant: ur ugly and stupid

what sam heard: you’re a hottie but you’re dumb as shit

sam:

[mylordshesacactus]

Sam: Mr Frodo sir, he keeps hitting on me, sir, even though I told him to stop, I’m very uncomfortable, it’s creating a hostile work environment, Mr Frodo! Gollum, gesturing wildly at Mordor: WE is creating a hostile work environment?!

Six hours later Gollum is still muttering about how we is NOT hitting any hobbitses. Have not hit ANY hobbitses since master is ordering us not to. Fat hobbit LIES.

Sam is very much interpreting this as “I do NOT think he’s hot, shut up.”

[chthonicrose]

wait so are we like, positing that fat only became sexy in hobbit culture after smeagol found the ring

or that smeagol forgot the societal standards of beauty of his birth culture and they were overwritten by, idk, elf shit or something

did the one ring make gollum fatphobic

[worldcircus]

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

thank you to @partywithponies for the alignment chart. 

I’m pretty sure Grima would answer “what makes you think I know??” and then start crying. 

you’re welcome world

[perfectday1972]

send me 5 characters

and i’ll tell you who i would:

get drunk with

make out with

date

marry

punch

[insomniac-arrest]

I’m too tired to be cynical for a moment, if voting didn’t mean anything then why would they be trying so hard to stop you from doing it? Vote down ballot.