Yuri

blog started on dec 28 2025. currently on an indefinite hiatus.

[bigbugeyesforher]

HUGE HUGE LIFE UPDATE PLZ READ I INTEND ON LEAVING

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Hi guys... again.. crazy news, I did something incredibly stupid. So anyone who's been kind of following what's happening will already know this, but I'll recap as short as i can. I had a huge obsession with a friend of mine, she got a boyfriend, last time I updated i said I was trying to get over her.

This evening, it got worse. A lot worse. I relapsed, sort of lashed out at her and then deleted literally every single account she knows is mine. Ive never rlly done something like that before and im kind of freaking myself out. Ever since she got her boyfriend it kind of feels like ive just been getting more and more upset, probably at her and now it just kinda overflowed. Even if I were to make new accounts and reach out, knowing her, she'd probably refuse to ever talk to me again.

All of this to say, I really really fucked up and I already feel horrible. I think I will definitely be taking a for real break off of here until I get myself under some more control. If any of my moots or so sends an ask, I'll still answer you whenever I check my Tumblr dw. I just need some time for myself again before I actually go insane.

Love you guys <33

[bigbugeyesforher]

happy pride month, keep being extra gay and queer and awesome as hell. luv all of ya

[bigbugeyesforher]

uh hi again guys lolol, just a small update bc it's been like a little bit since my panic crashout thing or wtv it was and i actually lowk forgot about tumblr.

i'm feeling a bit better by now, it doesn't hurt quite as much anymore to think about it. i still feel disgustingly ashamed by the way i ran away from her, but given just how many times i relapsed and sh'ed bc of thinking about her i had decided the way i think about her just wasn't healthy. at first i think i had tried to just sort of wean myself off in a way so that we could still be close in a way, but i learned p. quickly that any kind of contact with her was enough to feed that stupid bit of my brain.

anyways i guess thats just a little more of an explanation since in my semi final post i dont think i even mentioned it (idk i actually dont even remember wut is actually in that post by now LMAO)

so now ig i can update about what ive actually been up to now, for starters ive been trying to focus a bit more on my own mental health. on top of that ive also been working more on my art skills which helps taking my mind off of stuff. i have also started writing more fanfics mainly bc i find that if i write my ship using my own obsessive tendencies in some way it makes me feel like im coping with it better (better than cutting my thighs up anyway lol) so that makes me feel a bit better. being able to display my yan side via fanfic has defo helped though, it helps me to think through and rationalize what i feel better i suppose.

another update about my irl life, ive been trying to go outside more (i am not kidding when i say i am close to the definition of a basement dweller lol if given the choice i wont even leave my room for weeks aside from like using the bathroom and other basic necessities) so far im still not very used to going out at all. but ive started tagging along to grocery shopping and going on walks sometimes and who knows, maybe if i find someone irl it wont be a straight girl who flaunts her boyfriend in my face! honestly, i kind of want to learn more observational skills so i can read people better. i struggle a lot with social stuff irl, so knowing how to be more analytical may prove to be useful, maybe that way i can potentially be more calm in social scenarios if i have something like that to focus on instead. especially if i find someone interesting again.

idk lol, either way tho i am a lottt less bitter than the last time i was up on here, sending so so much love to all my moots!! aka i think literally two people but whatever.

still kind of unsure if ill be all the way back to regular posting, ill probably let this post like, idk, simmer a bit lol and see how i feel.

[bigbugeyesforher]

Actually, thinking about it now. To her it most likely looks like I killed myself instead of just running away.

Well now I feel worse.

[bigbugeyesforher]

God I feel like such a shitty person.

[razorbladed-sugarcoated]

[alonewithh1m-deactivated2026031]

One day someone will love me as much as I love them.

[rawstalker]

Do I want a yandere boyfriend or a yandere girlfriend? Hmm... Decisions, decisions

[bigbugeyesforher]

Maturing is realizing ive always been fucked up like this. Even when I was little and had multiple semi parasocial relationships. I suppose I was always going to be this messed up. (Ignore how I said I was going on hiatus lol)

[yukiyu4]

[bigbugeyesforher]

So uh.. anybody got any bright ideas on how to magically get someone new to obsess over before I literally lose my mind?

[bigbugeyesforher]

hey moot are you ok ^_^;;? How's it been? is everything alright?

I'm alright. Im not sick anymore! Although today i do have an absolutely splitting headache. I think I'll still be taking a break from regular posting for a while longer, but i feel like im getting over her a bit now. Ty for asking :DD i appreciate it tons and tons <33

[bigbugeyesforher]

PLZ READ THIS ITS GONNA BE MY LAST POST FOR A WHILE.

Hello my like, 20 followers im a bit more lucid today than yesterday.. ive decided that im going to take a break from posting and all that jazz. Most likely, I'll still be active in some ways: commenting, liking posts, asking etc. But now that I recognize i really have no chance I've decided to give up with her. Its just not worth it man, ive wrecked myself over it multiple times now. But I digress, I'll just be taking a break. I'm not sure when I'll be back fully online and posting like crazy again, maybe when I get someone new to occupy that fucked up bit of my brain, maybe when I get over her and can just shitpost peacefully. I'm not sure.

[bigbugeyesforher]

So uh... anybody got any tips on what to do with myself thoughts now that I cant have her as my muse..?

[bigbugeyesforher]

Dude I have to sneeze so bad, why is it edging me. Like bro, just get it over with

[bigbugeyesforher]

Dude idk what to do with myself now. I no longer stand a chance with her. Like at all. Try to find someone new to obsess over? Collapse on the floor and cry? Idk, sneeze very very loudly bc ive been so on the edge of a sneeze for like 20 min and its pissing me off?

[monitoringyou]

Obsession is the purest form of love <- #FACT!