Me, a botanist

Motherfucker Unlimited watch Max and Cheese https://youtube.com/channel/UC3qHInv5RTiZagyMlxyk-Dw

[anistarrose]

Image description: an edited tumblr thread. The first message reads “ppl who celebrate stuck boat birthdays are annoying pass it on” and the second reads “fuck this post and happy birthday Ever Given”. End description.

[durendoll]

judy hopps is a cop who leverages a strangers felony tax evasion to get him to put his life in danger and work around the clock so that she can keep her job

she then presumably helps him cover up his crime to get him a job on the same police force

[durendoll]

judy hopps has some very nice feet but we need to remember that she’s still a cop

[serah-farron-deactivated2022112]

just fyi for everyone out there using tumblr on this day that you can reblog a post without the extra commentary by clicking the OP’s URL on the original post

[aflo]

[lonely-boiii]

She is a cop and all cops are already unsexy

[pigcatapult]

I’m sorrynotsorry to everyone in the notes just learning that Tumblr is a place for horny furries to blog about acab.

[uberguber89]

Unfortunately, Judy Hopps is very sexy AND ALSO a cop and therefore a bastard, and insisting that all cops are automatically unsexy is still attaching appearances to morality. Remembering that things can be sexy and evil, or ugly and good is imperative! Forgetting this derails and disrupts the conversation.

[thebreakfastgenie]

[speedlimit15]

very well, i shall smoke this “bowl” with you. but take warning! henceforth i may become quite….. silly…

[sexhaver]

in my freshman year of college, i traded my friend $200 worth of vyvanse for his first generation Pax vape (it was just The Pax back then, no numbers or suffixes yet) and after fiddling around with it and reading various forums i learned that like. okay so the entire user interface for this vape consisted of a single button built into the mouthpiece and four lights in a cross pattern that could glow a bunch of different colors. what i learned from these forums was that, by pressing the only button in a kind of Morse code pattern, you could access a secret Simon Says game, wherein two segments of the light would turn on at a time, and you'd tilt the Pax in that direction, and then the pattern would repeat with one addition (normal Simon Says rules). your reward for beating this minigame (that was referenced nowhere in the printed manual, btw, i checked) was that that specific Pax would forevermore have its lights turn more of a bright blue cyan instead of a greenish teal when in "party mode" (manually overriding standby/sleep mode so it never turns itself off). i genuinely believe there are fewer than 1000 people worldwide who ever figured this out so it's arguably one of the most subtle flexes theoretically possible

[weaver-z]

Why are the people you'd expect to own scary pitbulls the only responsible pitbull owners

[weaver-z]

If you meet a mechanic from Louisiana named Skeeter McGee with a dog named Slayer, you can trust that dog with your life. If you meet a lifestyle influencer from Seattle with a dog named Princess Pibble, you can guarantee that it's one loud noise away from turning the nearest child into a material the consistency of tubby custard

[fishing-lesbian-princess]

I cannot understand why anyone would want to fuck a Pokémon when the Pokémon world is canonically bountiful with hot empty-nest moms whose husbands are absent or nonexistent

[fishing-lesbian-princess]

Is this a trick question or something?

[pokemonheritageposts]

let me know when the player character's mom is a salazzle, then we'll talk

[flareonfloof]

boss i think you posted to the wrong blog again

[pokemonheritageposts]

Sure do hope I'm saying something normal the next time I do this.

[pepsimansthickjuicymeatyschlong]

nah if ya wanna fuck pokemon than go ahead im all for it

[pokemonheritageposts]

thank you, *adjusts glasses* tumblr user pepsimansthickmeatyschlong

[libraryspectre]

Feel uncomfortable going to Cheesecake Factory when it’s so under the watch of the eye of Sauron

[libraryspectre]

I made this post in 2016 and it got 3 notes, suddenly people are interacting with it. What is happening how did you even find it

[eatalotofdirt]

That’s tumblr babey

[kingofdoma]

tumblr users be like

[zagreus]

[microwaved-cheese-sandwich]

WHY IS THIS SO GODDAMN FUNNY

[softboypassing]

im going to watch an anime, should it be princess mononoke, cowboy bebop, or jojo

[thank-you-everyone-deactivated2]

watch this

[thank-you-everyone-deactivated2]

you can’t see because i’m on computer but i’m gesturing to my balls

[lovepokemontcg]

illus. Aya Kusube "Dragonair" from Dragon

[contaiinedarmageddon2]

[meowsapow]

"Friends with benefits" and the benefit is being my friend :)

[meowsapow]

We can also fuck nasty or whatever

[animentality]

[lesbx]

This is the first and only time this note preview feature has landed. the faint whisper of mike lurking in the shadows

[lesbx]

I like how this post is still going around long after it’s outlived this entire website feature

[akumeoy]

really interesting how wire mother is objectively the most interesting & well-written character on the show but cloth mother gets all the fic because people who don't even watch it see her & say "uwu soft gorl". fuck off

[justthatspiffy]

okay but some of us need our comfort characters??

[akumeoy]

u sound like the baby monkeys

[crossroadswrite]

idk about you but i’m a sucker for the we just had sex and it’s the morning after and i woke up to an empty bed and how could i be so stupid of course you left me alone but wait you’re in my kitchen cooking me breakfast and i’m so relieved trope

[sabertoothwalrus]

[fuckyeahstufficareabout]

🙂

[cooper214]

Like to charge, reblog to cast.