billie

[for rp purposes only] 31. Kingston, UK. Los Angeles, USA Far from a lady. Part time mother of two. Shattered. Single. No fucks given. "When you hear my voice, when you say my name... May it never give you pain."

[mattsmith-dawg]

Ah… we’ll see. I’m not holding out on much hope, though. Maybe the world was just never destined to have little mini-Smiths. Mmmh… Bad Wolf can be a bit like that, I suppose. If she apologises, though, then there’s no harm done. Oh, Bills, they are good. You just need to consider yourself beforehand. Alright, I’ll bear it in mind. Guilty? I didn’t check myself into rehab just because of you, Bills, it was a whole range of things. I’d have wound up there eventually.

[billie-thelonewolf]

Okay. You can let me be the hopeful one. Even if I had nothing to do with it-- I'd still would love to see the mini-Smith someday. Just to make sure they are the... second most beautiful minions ever. Sorry, motherly vanity, hehe. She apologises. She usually doesn't think and that causes a lot of mess. Well, if they are actually good, I'm going to work on them a little bit. To make them work for myself, too. I will always feel guilty. I'm me. If I had to do anything with-- anything-- I will feel guilty. That's how my heart works.

[mattsmith-dawg]

Deal.

I can’t leave it much longer, Bills. How am I meant to find someone within the next few years who wants to settle down and have kids that quickly? It’s an impossible task. I’m 32 this year. I haven’t got forever. Mmmh, lucky I’m not afraid of the big Bad Wolf. Oh, I’m not unstable, Bills. I needed a reality check, that’s all. My therapist wants me to tie up all my loose ends anyway, hence the move to LA. Alright, if you say so. Thank him? Why? I pay him to do his job. He just sits and listens to me rant for an hour a week.

[billie-thelonewolf]

Hey, you have at least ten years. Trust me. And with the charm that you have, there will be quite a long line. It is not that impossible. Well, you may not be afraid of the big Bad Wolf, but the big Bad Wolf can sometimes be a really scary and almost insane monster, yelling cursings and throwing guilt to the ones who didn't deserve to feel that way and she apologises. Really. Well-- I didn't mean it that way. I just... I just thought that-- you know, my advices are never good. Do what you think is the best. Her number hadn't changed if you choose the option. Yes, thank him. Therapists are under appreciated. And I still feel guilty.

[mattsmith-dawg]

Well there you go. Shush.

Mmm… I’ll bet. I’ll have to take your word for it— I’m getting older now, I reckon I’ve missed out on that adventure. Why would I get worse? I’d rather her shout at me for a bit than completely ignore you. Okay— good. I’d like that. Maybe not soon, obviously, but… eventually. Both reasons, I guess. Oh, shut up, I won’t. I’ll make sure the next girl’s treated like a princess for real this time. No excuses or exemptions. Woah, what? Why? My therapist doesn’t need that!

[billie-thelonewolf]

I won't shush. But I can always try. Frenemies?

You are getting older, yes, but that doesn't mean that you have already missed the opportunity of having a kid of your own. Everything happens for a reason. You will meet a princess who will give you the most beautiful babies ever. I am sure of it. And you shall trust my word, because a Bad Wolf never lies. Even if she happened to become a Lone Wolf instead. I just really don't want you to have all this drama stuff happening, I bet your doctor wouldn't be very fond of such choice. I told you, she will let it go, sooner or later. She has the quick temper. She always had. You better be the biggest knight this world had seen. That suits your looks, trust me. I've seen the demo. And I do want to send him a bottle. After you're done with the therapy. As anonymous, don't worry. To thank him.

[mattsmith-dawg]

Shhh… I’m not friends with you yet, remember?

I still bet it’s brilliant, though. Raising them from scratch. Sad that the time’s going so quickly but— rewarding. Oh? Wow. Do you— want me to talk to her? I think she might’ve fancied me, you know. Yeah? You’d let them? I wouldn’t keep them long— just a catch-up every now and again, find out what they’ve been learning and stuff. Maybe so, but still, you giving advice is amusing nonetheless. I won’t be screwing up anytime soon, though. I’ll make sure of it.

[billie-thelonewolf]

I am Billie Piper. To shut me up is the hardest thing in the world's history to do. But you're right. You're not.

It is brilliant, yes. First smile, first word, first step... Even though I have the baby books for both of them, I remember them all as if they happened this morning. It is rewarding. When you see them smiling, there is nothing in the world that could compare. I-- I don't want you to get worse. I mean-- she's my Mum after all, you know her ways. Of course I would let them. Why wouldn't I? It would only bring joy to them. A little adventure in daily routine. Amusing? Why? Because I'm so bad at them? Or because I have never followed one of my own? You better don't. Or else I will turn into my final form. Every girl is a little dragon inside. When you're finished with your therapy, though, I'd like to know your therapist's address. I'll send him a bottle.

[billie-thelonewolf]

.

[mattsmith-dawg]

Yeah, yeah let’s go with that.

They’re growing up so bloody quickly. I bet your poor Dad’s exhausted, bless him. I’m sure he’s loved spending time with them, though, like everyone. Why— why isn’t she talking to you? Mmm… I suppose. Maybe I could— pick them up from school one day? When they both start, I mean. Hang out with them for the afternoon, see what they’re up to. Mmh, yeah, brilliant professional advice there, Bills.

[billie-thelonewolf]

With that much of twitching it may start a seizure.

They really do, yes. It's that kind of age gap. The first ten year. I don't think the difference is so noticeable when they're older. But now-- it seems that only yesterday I was rocking them to some nursery rhymes I came up with. The nostalgia of being a mother. She's not talking to me, because she's being the Mandy Kent. She liked you. But she'll let it go, give her a few days. That sounds nice. I bet they'd be more than happy to see you again. No matter at what age. Hey, don't bring up the sarcasm, Matt, it was a professional one. At least, it's very well checked.

[mattsmith-dawg]

Absolutely not.

I know the feeling. Oh, he is? Jesus. I bet they’ll be running rings around you with their plots and adventures soon enough. You won’t be able to keep up. Of course it’s adorable, he’s a little mischief-maker. ‘course you’ll make it through. All they need is you, I suppose it was just nice for them to have the lenient parent around for a bit. Okay… good. I’m glad. Yeah— good. I wouldn’t be fond of the evil one. Please, what can you advise me on? I’m a master with the ladies.

[billie-thelonewolf]

A twitch of a muscle, then. 

They already are. When I came back home, Wince didn't shut up about everything that he had been doing together with Pip and their "companion". That's what my Dad had become-- in one week. They're impossible. All three of them. Mum's still not talking to me, but I can only understand her actions. I wouldn't do that too, to be honest. You'll always stay their childhood hero, no matter what the future brings. I can advise you on how not to screw up - just don't to anything that I did and you'll be fine. See? I'm perfect at advises.

[just-close-your-eyes-and-leap]

Visit Original Link

[mattsmith-dawg]

PM → Billie.

[mattsmith-dawg]

Mmmmh…

Of course it is. I don’t doubt it. Those two little devils will have you smiling before you know it. Yeah, I know that. I think you need help, but I still— I dunno, care, I suppose. And hey, please don’t be the evil ex. I’d rather you be the nice one that I want sticking around.

[billie-thelonewolf]

Was that a smile?

They always do. Even just a thought of them. Eugene's catching up with his vocabulary quicker than Wince did at his age. He comes up with the most amazing names for things, though. And I find it adorable. Maybe-- maybe I'll make it through, eh? Being a single mum. Maybe. Hey, I know I need help. At least, now I do. I won't be the evil one, I can promise you that. I probably will be the advising one. Which is even more annoying, but hey, when wasn't I?

[bendyduckcrumbleface]

I thought you knew me. Bad timing is my specialty. 

[billie-thelonewolf]

I am trying to tolerate that.

[bendyduckcrumbleface]

Okay, I’ll shut up now and stop being annoying.

[billie-thelonewolf]

You're not. It's just absolutely the wrong timing.

[mattsmith-dawg]

PM → Billie.

[mattsmith-dawg]

Even then.

Of course I know you, muppet. Your muscles will remember how to work when you’re physically there with them, though. I can’t imagine why they wouldn’t. Yeah— it probably would. I bet she’d quite like the holiday. Mmmm… I’ve always been a bit weak when it came to holding grudges. You’re apparently no exception.

[billie-thelonewolf]

I hugged you in my mind. 

I really do hope it's what's going to happen. Otherwise I'm actually in even a worse case than I thought. You have been, yes. But that is not the grudge you shall be having, Matt. I shall be playing the role of evil ex in your life right now. The one you don't even want to hear anything about. 

[billie-thelonewolf]

.

[bendyduckcrumbleface]

Who’s to say you can’t enjoy yourself along the way? You never know.

[billie-thelonewolf]

[mattsmith-dawg]

PM → Billie.

[mattsmith-dawg]

Everyone needs reminding of the good they’ve done in their lives sometimes, Bills.

Yeah, that’s good. Mmh, I know they did. Oh, please, just one day at the beach with them will have you smiling a mile wide. Yeah… I mean, if Mirranda’s free, then absolutely. You might have the kids, but I imagine it’d get a bit lonely sometimes if you’re out there with them on your own. Mmm… maybe, Bills. Maybe. But not right now.

[billie-thelonewolf]

Even when they didn't deserve to be treated half as kindly?

One day at the beach... I wish you didn't know me that well, Matt. Now I feel like smiling, only muscles don't seem to listen to me right now. Yeah, her husband's in the States for some work stuff and I think-- I think her baby belly would prevent me from the nightmares. Which is always good. I know. I would be a complete fool if I expected any hint of friendship now. I am surprised we've gone this far with this conversation even,,,

[bendyduckcrumbleface]

Sorry, I’ll stop. I really do hope you enjoy yourself out there, though. It’s a beautiful country.

[billie-thelonewolf]

I am not going there to enjoy myself, I'm going there to discover myself. Or whatever it is that makes me this way.

[mattsmith-dawg]

PM → Billie.

[mattsmith-dawg]

I called you Leian when you saved me. There’s a difference. Billie was my mate. Leian was the angel. 

Yeah, I am. Rehab isn’t just an in-and-out job, Bills, it’s an ongoing thing. Mmmh, admitting it helps. Then you know you have something to fix and can work on it. I just— I don’t think you’re completely okay yet. You left me to love yourself again, so don’t get distracted from that. Maybe it is a million years away now, who knows. Alright… Australia might do you some good. Catch some sunlight and hang out with the boys. Work on that. Maybe then we can try out being friendly and civil with one another — maybe even with me seeing the kids every now and again — but right now, I don’t think either of us are capable.

[billie-thelonewolf]

That is exactly why you shouldn't be calling me Leian. The angel? At this point? Hardly.

I will try not to get distracted. If it was worth losing all that I had over it-- I must not get distracted. The boys loved Australia the first time. I am sure they will help me to smile, at least a little bit. Maybe I shall take Mirranda too? What do you think?-- I... I hope that one day we'll get the friendship back. It would be nice.