In My Mind

Chelsea Pearl. Twenty Two. Connecticut, Michigan, UK, Japan. Music Addict. Japanese and English Literature major. Hopeful Linguistic PhD pursuer. World Traveler. Musical. Aspiring author. Five year NaNoWriMo participant. NaNoWriMo 2011, 2013 and 2014 winner. Role player. Photographer. Modernist. Puntastical Punner. Concert addict. Biromantic asexual. This blog contains the following: Leverage. Once Upon a Time. American Horror Story. American Horror Story: Asylum. 666 Park Avenue. Political Animals. Hannibal. The Following. Bitten. MARVEL Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Once Upon A Time in Wonderland. The Blacklist. Agent Carter. The 100. The Librarians. Chicago Fire. Forever. Sleepy Hollow. Red Band Society. Masterchef Junior. The Wrong Mans. Atlantis.The Awesomes. Harry Potter. Horror Movies. Gore. Japanese Dramas. Japanese Movies. Anime. Manga. Kelley Armstrong. JK Rowling. Green Day. Papa Roach. Photography. Traveling. Monuments. Skylines. Music of all sorts.

[billiejoeiscool]

Not that anyone from this place talks to me, but I’d figured I’d update you all anyways.

In July of 2017, I packed up most of my stuff, got onto an airplane, and moved to Japan.

I think this was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I’ve been to Japan before, but it was during a study abroad. I’ve traveled myself, going to not just Japan, but to England as well. This time, it was so much different. It was something that I’ve never believed I’d be able to do.

I am literally living my dream.

I have experienced things I’ve never seemed to do before. I’ve rode in a hot air balloon, a fact that, mind you, was terrifying since I’ve got a fear of heights. I’ve tasted new food that I’ve never thought I would - like pork intestines, that are actually really delicious. I’ve met people who not only have supported me, but have made me grown as a person, an individual, as a world traveler.

I’ve seen snow fall from September. I’ve gone snowboarding, and will continue to snowboard and practice. I’ve laughed at the kids I teach. I feel fulfilled when I’ve done the right thing, or taught the kids something really hard, and they understand. I’m excited to go to classes where I know I’ll be greeted with excited “GOOD MORNING!” or “HELLO!” from a class of 13 third years.

I live in Hokkaido, where my town is surrounded by nothing but mountains. Everywhere I look, I see the peaks of one. I live where snow falls almost daily during the winter, and it struggles to warm during the spring. The foliage changes color in the fall, to the beautiful warm reds, oranges and musty browns.

Now that I’m here, I’m struggling to want to leave.

[billiejoeiscool]

I’m tired.

I’m emotionally tired. and exhausted.

and mentally tired.

i’ve moved to japan, but i feel more alone than ever.

my friends barely talked to me when i was at home

and now nobody talks to me.

what’s the point in making a difference if nobody cares about what i’m doing?

[billiejoeiscool]

Ah, tumblr.

how I missed you and missed RPing.

[taikaris]

At the Balcony— Before -> After

[theoccasionalpariah]

Gareth, buddy! I miss you terribly 

[billiejoeiscool]

I think the most stressful thing in the world is moving.

You constantly have to remember what you want to pack, what bag you want to pack it in, and to remember how much you can bring.

Moving to college wasn’t hard. I could just stuff whatever I wanted in boxes or containers and then would be happy.

Moving to Japan is proving a lot harder. It is very stressful.

[billiejoeiscool]

Hi, Friends!

Hi, friends.

Been a while. How are you?

Me? Doin’ good. I’m uh --

I’m about to embark on a really cool adventure in July.

but really - how are you?

[thegreatestadventureslieinb-blog]

Those RP partners that you just click with and you're like...

[adc-writes]

[wickedwerewolf]

@billiejoeiscool

[billiejoeiscool]

Don’t lie

I’m ur favorite <3

[billiejoeiscool]

FRIENDS!

Can you do me a thing and just click this and vote? Essentially, I hate doing this, but it’s a contest to publish a book, and like, I’ve been working REALLY HARD on this manuscript. PLEASE?!

http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelves/pub-contest.php?u=87466

[billiejoeiscool]

Friends here on tumblr, and don’t have me on facebook:

I’m looking for people to beta read my 60k-ish word story. Sci-fi / adventure / future setting. It’s in the “still needs a lot of work” draft, but I want feedback regardless. It’ll be in PDF sent via email. Interested? :D

[billiejoeiscool]

Do people prefer using “said” or do they use various other synonyms (“spoke,” “stated,” “yelled,” “screamed,” etc.)

Someone told me that “said” was perfectly acceptable, although in middle-high school classes for creative writing, it’s a “boring” verb (also, I particularly thinks it drags the story along by stating “he said, she said, they said, etc.” instead of actually using other expressive words.)

[billiejoeiscool]

My crisis in a nutshell

I don’t write this because I’m asking for attention; but it’s because I have thoughts on my mind and I don’t know what to do with them.

I know life goes on, but sometimes, I really hate being the only one who feels like they try to get in touch with people. I see them always talking with others, always connecting with people on all sorts of media, and there I am -- a forgotten memory. Maybe I tried too hard, and it slipped by. Maybe I’m just too busy, too uninteresting, too boring. Maybe it’s because feelings were never mutual, or were simply lost in translation.

I am a busy person. I work five jobs. I pay bills. I buy groceries, and gas, and entertainment. I do chores around the house and sleep and write. I live, I breath, I sleep, I repeat. But sometimes, just the way that people talk, and that I just sit here, going, hey. Hi. Do you remember me?

Do you remember the times we had, the talks we’ve enjoyed? Do you remember the games we’ve played, the things we’ve plotted, the memories we shared?

Do you remember when we spoke? Do you know the last time we did? Am I that unimportant, did I never touch your heart?

Maybe I just have sensitivity issues. Maybe I just sit here and ponder why I am the way I am. I am closed off, I am distant, I am aloof. I talk too much, I don’t share feelings, and I act apathetic. I’ve been hurt too much to know why I keep hurting, so I’m nervous to open up. That’s just how I am.

Maybe, sometimes, that isn’t enough?

Who knows.

[billiejoeiscool]

This suspicious character bearing my likeness is proof that I have officially joined Lemony Snicket's Association of Associates. Build yours at LemonySnicketLibrary.com/CharacterBuilder

[awesomequacker-deactivated20151]

there are asexuals who are entirely disgusted by sex

there are asexuals who are fine talking about sex but aren’t willing to have it themselves

there are asexuals who like sex in theory but not in practice

there are asexuals who dont really care for it but are happy to do it for someone they love

there are asexuals who enjoy or even love the stimulation of sex but have no actual need or craving for it; its just like any other activity to do with someone and can easily be replaced with literally anything else

there are asexuals who do have a sexdrive but its only triggered by a strong emotional attachment rather than physical factors

there are a whole bunch of asexuals and if i hear “lol so ur like a plant” one more time i swear to fucking god

[billiejoeiscool]

I haven’t posted this news on TUMBLR, but I have on Facebook. Might as well let it be known here. yolo?:

I got the position as the ML for my region in NaNoWriMo. Yey. I got notified back at the beginning of September, and 90% of my free time outside of working 5 jobs has been trying to set stuff up. yey.

[sea-change]

MARY FUCKING SHELLEY.  ’oh, i’m a nineteen year old female in a world where females are basically valued only as mothers, grieving over the loss of my child, disowned by my father, in dire financial straights, stuck in a country that’s not my own, ignored and cheated on by my husband, and belittled by my husband’s friends?  how am i going to deal with this?  WHY DON’T I COMPLETELY CHANGE THE RULES OF LITERATURE, MOTHERFUCKERS?  AND WHILE I’M AT IT, I’LL SIMULTANEOUSLY INVENT AN ENTIRE NEW GENRE, AND WRITE THE FIRST NON-RELIGIOUS CREATION MYTH.’

[funoftheday]

Unexplainable emotion