I Like How You Handle That Pressure

Hi. I like pizza and have a hankering for sleep.

[karrakazz]

i am NOT gaslighting you. i am lying to you. gaslighting implies a level of effort that i am simply not putting in. deceiving you does not require much

[stealthrockdamage-deactivated20]

ok i'll bite. *just starts fucking biting you*

[googledocsdyke]

remember when you were 10 and you would hang out with your friends in order to Look At The Computer together like you went to their house and experienced the information superhighway together. and then leave

[mostlybats-partiallyrats]

How fucking old are you people?

[googledocsdyke]

normal amount

[kunou78]

You see, there used to be a time (not all that long ago) when being offline was the default. And going online was the rare and wonderful thing that we (briefly) enjoyed.

It even came with happy modem noises.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

They weren't happy noises.

[mistakenot4892]

They were polite and reasonable noises! The sound of protocol being followed! Negotiation and compromise!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

The box would scream

[homosubtext]

what do they put in large rocks that make u just want to. stand on it.

[homosubtext]

i see a medium sized rock and i’m like “god. i need to go stand on this and be 14 inches higher off the ground right now”

[sydwiki]

some little elephants.

[cannibalchicken]

[cannibalchicken]

[varijacija]

[floorsalad]

[peoplegettingreallymadatghosts]

[naamahdarling]

Gold in the notes.

[valtsv]

just found out i've been abandoned by god which means he's not watching anything i do anymore. you should come over.

[konoko]

halloween is coming if you want to scare me i am afraid of bank transfers

[radiojamming]

I haven’t been able to get the full video but we just celebrated one of our steam locomotives turning 145 by chucking a chocolate cake into her firebox

[radiojamming]

So I know this post is from 2018, and I’ve gone on and on about it haunting me (it does still, and I don’t even work there anymore), but I think all these years later and so close to her own birthday, she deserves to be seen for the gorgeous locomotive she is.

She’s beautiful, we adore her, and she’s going to be 149 this year! Happy birthday, lady!

[colloquial-kai-ak]

she’s now 150!!

[demonetta7]

"kill them with kindness" WRONG. FISH🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟

[ofishal-fish-posts]

Official Fish Post

[totopopopo]

I have never met a creature as stupid as a customer in a store

[bichoplaza]

"Do it scared" "do it alone" what am I a survival horror protagonist gtfo

[andhumanslovedstories]

Hmmmmm. I. Fucked up.

[andhumanslovedstories]

Head empty no thoughts I put our plastic shower curtain in the drying machine

[andhumanslovedstories]

It’s clean now

[ashstfu]

life is hard, do you want to share a pastry?

[abornvillainx2-deactivated20230]

[riverlarking]

sometimes in knitting you just have to go 'nobody but me will notice this mistake' and keep going

[bundibird]

I highly recommend doing the same thing in life.

[theconcealedweapon]

[kactusnz]

this is the funniest fucking graffiti I’ve ever seen