unholy ghost

James Buchanan Barnes, or at least that's what they tell me. I'm not really sure who I am anymore. For the time being, just called me Barnes. ❝ destroy what destroys you. ❞ [ the soldier now ]

[notafanofbeingpoked-deactivated]

[not phased by the squint, he nods slowly Remaining calm and neutral in expression, Phil sat on the floor beside Bucky rather than remain crouched in front of him.]

Ah. That is a bit of a problem. Is there anything you need to help you calm down and sleep? Perhaps just tiring yourself out somehow will help? 

[bionicallybucky-blog]

[watches as the guy finally sits on the floor. Barnes can't help but be a little surprised -- surely everyone at SHIELD had been warned that he posed a threat, right? He chews on his lower lip as he thinks through his answer.]

It's...it's a little more complicated than that. I want to sleep, but I also...don't want to sleep. [pauses] I know that doesn't make any sense, but...when I sleep, I dream. And the dreams...they aren't the nicest ones. 

[bionicallybucky-blog]

★ Bucky Barnes (post-Winter Soldier) | moodboard

[notafanofbeingpoked-deactivated]

[walks down the hallway, a breath escapes him as he takes in the familiar surroundings, floor by floor, just wandering. Even with a room in “Avengers Tower”, he still liked to stay in the actual academy building now and then, and it was a better place to be during sleepless nights. He sees Barnes on the floor, approaching before he sits before him, keeping space between them.] 

I was already awake. Is everything alright, Barnes?

[bionicallybucky-blog]

[looks up when he hears his name and squints a bit, struggling to place the name with the face of the guy in front of him, with his memories still jumbled up. He pauses for a second before shaking his head a little]

I've been having a...I can't sleep. Haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks. Feels like I'm gonna drop dead soon of exhaustion.

[bionicallybucky-blog]

[sits in the hallway leaning against the wall, head between his bent knees as he tries to calm his heartbeat and his breathing down from near-panic status after the nightmare he'd just had. His SHIELD babysitter is at the other end of the hall looking apprehensive but giving Barnes his space. Barnes doesn't look up when he hears other footsteps approaching him]

Sorry if my screaming woke you up.

[monkeys-and-machines-deactivate]

I keep telling everyone. I’m Scottish. Not English. There’s a difference.

[bionicallybucky-blog]

Not everyone here's that good with accents. Might want to start handing out greeting cards so you don't have to explain every time you meet someone new.

[theechoingprincess]

Maya noted his surprise when she told him. “Trust me, you’re not the first one to be surprised,” she said. “I suppose so, yes. Although I’ll have to admit I’m not very good at training yet,” she said, remembering her frustration at the first couple of training sessions. She tilted her head in confusion. “You aren’t? You seem rather nice, and you haven’t tried to kill me yet so…that makes you on my ‘nice list’,” Maya said, nodding.

[bionicallybucky-blog]

 Barnes shrugs his good shoulder. "Nobody's really that good at training at first, especially here, since they like to teach everyone something different. You'll get the hang of it in no time though." He shakes his head a little and forces a small smile at her next words. "I don't have a very good track record with these guys...at least, not recently. But I appreciate that, thanks."

[javasurf]

[colettedurands]

[grimaces as she remembers the file Director Fury had handed her upon her arrival. She gives Bucky a small smile and nods] Yeah, we met last fall. I’m Maria…Maria Hill. [pauses, nervously] Sorry, I was told what had happened. I shouldn’t have been so careless. Do you go by James or Barnes now?

[bionicallybucky-blog]

[waits for the name to dredge up a long-lost memory, but nothing happens, so he just shakes his head a little] It's okay, it's...it's just, I'm not used to it. The nickname. [pauses] Barnes is fine. 'James' still feels like I'm using someone else's name. [pauses again] Sorry if I don't, uh, remember you. I'm not sure how much they told you, but my memory's really...it's not what it used to be.

[theechoingprincess]

Maya sighed. “That’s because you can’t tell if I do unless I say so.” She tapped the side of her ear. “I’m deaf. Not something you can see, I suppose,” she said, shrugging. Ever since she had come to the academy, she felt more comfortable telling people. “I guess SHIELD doesn’t mind. I mean, sure, it puts me at a disadvantage, but that’s what I’m here for.”

[bionicallybucky-blog]

Barnes blinks in genuine surprise at the admission of her deafness before giving her a small smile. "Well if there's anything SHIELD is good at, it's taking everyone's disadvantages and making them easier to handle, training everyone to overcome them. ...Or at least, that's what I'm told. I'm not exactly on SHIELD's 'nice list' at the moment." He gives the agent guarding the corner of the room a pointed look and the agent just rolls his eyes. 

[theechoingprincess]

Maya gave a small smile. She had noticed his metal arm when she had first walked in, but she knew that it would’ve been insensitive of her to mention in right away. Of all people, she knew. “At least you were able to get it fixed though,” she said wistfully. “I guess you learn to live with it after a while though,” she sighed, crossing her arms.

[bionicallybucky-blog]

Barnes nods a little, not wanting to open up the can of worms that was his lack of consent for getting his arm fixed. Eh, details. "Well, if it's any consolation, I had no idea you had a disability until you brought it up," he says with an encouraging smile. "And if you're here now then obviously SHIELD doesn't judge you for it either."

[theechoingprincess]

"Well…" She fell silent for a minute, thinking about how to describe it. "My…father died when I was young. He left me to be taken care of by one of his friends. Then I was sent to a school for disabled people for a while," she said briefly, not going into the deep details. Maya frowned when she realized she had said that she went to a school for people with disabilities. Maybe that was too straightforward…

[bionicallybucky-blog]

Barnes blinks when she says the word 'disabled' and he can't help but look her over quickly, thinking that she didn't look disabled, before reminding himself that not every disability was as visible as his. He catches her frowning at herself and reassures her: "I'm not judging, trust me. You're in similar company." He raises his metal hand and wiggles the fingers a bit for emphasis. 

[colettedurands]

Nah, you’re good Bucky. Just getting some much needed caffeine. [Maria walks over to the kitchen area of the common room and begins making coffee. She glances behind her and watches him for a moment before turning back to grab sugar from the pantry, calling over her shoulder] Find anything interesting?

[bionicallybucky-blog]

[blinks and feels his whole body shudder when he hears the name 'Bucky': nobody had called him that ever since his programming got knocked out of him, not even Rogers, blessedly enough. He decides to just bite the bullet and admit his confusion aloud] Sorry, I...have we met before?

[colmxranarchive-deactivated2015]

Loki smiles, it’s kindness that barely hides the ice beneath it. “Apologies, I forget that Midgardians are not always familiar with the Nine Realms.” He watched the way the hand moved as Bucky flexed it. “Its impressive. Suited for a warrior.” His eyes flickered back towards the other man’s face. “You are a warrior, are you not?”

[bionicallybucky-blog]

Barnes blinks once, twice, trying to figure out if he's supposed to know what the fuck any of that means, when he remembers: "Wait, 'Midgard' is...that's Earth, right? That's where we are right now? So you're not from Earth?" Shrugs his metal shoulder. "Something like that, I guess. I was a soldier, and then I...and then I wasn't," he amends at the last minute, quickly changing his mind from what he'd meant to say: and then I wasn't even a person. "I didn't have this arm during any of my fighting days, though. Probably could've been useful, now that I think about it."

[theechoingprincess]

Maya gave a small laugh and shook her head. “True. Interesting is better than boring,” she said. “Yes, I’m new. The “newbie”,” she said, making air quotes with her hands. She shrugged. “I like it. It’s a lot of work, but that was expected. I’m still getting used to it. I guess the transition from my old life to here isn’t as easy as I was anticipating,” she admitted.

[bionicallybucky-blog]

Barnes nods a little as she talks, sympathizing a little since he himself still felt like a newbie, even though technically it was way more complicated than that. "What was your old life like, if you don't mind my asking?"

[theechoingprincess]

To make up for her lack of hearing, Maya was extremely good at reading people. So far, she could tell that this person seemed to know and have more to him than he was letting on. Of course, it wasn’t any of her business. “Nice to meet you too,” she said, nodding. “Don’t worry, long stories are the story of my life,” she said, returning his smile.

[bionicallybucky-blog]

Barnes chuckles a little despite himself. "Seems like everyone here has long stories of their own, to be honest," he admits. "Which I guess isn't so bad. Definitely makes things interesting around here." He sees the SHIELD agent in the corner smirk a little as if to say, That's an understatement. "So...you're new here, right? How're you liking everything so far?"

[bionicallybucky-blog]

★ Bucky Barnes (pre-Winter Soldier) | moodboard

[theechoingprincess]

Attempting to not look like a confused idiot since she could barely understand him, Maya simply nodded. “Um…I don’t believe I’ve met you yet,” she said, clearing her throat awkwardly. “I’m Maya,” she said, extending her hand.

[bionicallybucky-blog]

Barnes slid the laptop off his lap and onto the couch before shaking her hand, making sure to stay seated; apparently him standing up "too quickly" could be seen as an act of intimidation, or so one of the SHIELD agents had told him. And considering there was a SHIELD agent guarding him from the opposite corner of the room, he decided to at least pretend he was making an effort to fit in. "Nice to meet you, Maya," he said, giving her a small smile. "I'm...well, uh, you can just call me Barnes. Kind of a long story."