Tumblr should never have given us polls. Everyday I have to see years-old polls cross my dash proudly proclaiming past-me's vote which I now disagree with. Let me change my vote!! I have rethought which Tetris piece is the sexiest.
Not today Justin

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Tumblr should never have given us polls. Everyday I have to see years-old polls cross my dash proudly proclaiming past-me's vote which I now disagree with. Let me change my vote!! I have rethought which Tetris piece is the sexiest.
merthur fandom are you still out there...
has this been done? lol probably
why are all the vague posts mean. I don’t want to read a mean vague post and wonder if it’s about me. let’s all make sweetie pie vague posts.
can’t specify who but many of my friends are HOT AS FUCK
anyone wanna guess what this doesthedogdie tie is for?
thaaaat’s right!
this is kind of a gold mine
you left out the best part!
it’s crazy how much you can read if you read
The Favour - Alternatively - "I'm Drawing Merthur to feel something again"
Merlin BBC Merlin they could never make me form a solid opinion about you !!! World’s bravest coward. The most loyal traitor. The most honest liar. The gentlest murderer. Destroys everything trying to avoid destruction. What a guy !!!!!!!
every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway
@kropotkindersurprise said:
it should be an explosive device, so they widen that part of the cave at the same time and no other spelunkers will get stuck there
beautiful vision. i love the idea of a minecraft-style world where if you explode underground it just clears a radius
Shane doesn't understand how lucky he got that his parents didn't come to the All Stars game. Yuna would have taken one look at her dressed up/prettied up son (who has never worn dressy clothes unless contractually obligated) talking to Ilya-heart-eyes-Rozanov who is looking at her boy like he's the love of his life, and she would have clocked their shit immediately. David saw their chemistry just by watching the game on TV. The game probably didn't even show Ilya kissing Shane's helmet because they would have been replaying the goal.
Then all three Hollanders would talk around it without actually talking about it for the rest of the weekend.
"Rozanov actually seems pretty nice in person."
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Maybe we could invite him to grab dinner with us."
"No."
"You really hate him that much?"
"No, I just - like, we're not friends or whatever."
"Okay, where should we get dinner then?"
"I can't. I have plans tonight."
"Alright then, you boys have fun."
"What?"
"What?"
It was common knowledge between Timbit league coaches, premium menswear brands, and the MHL, that there was not much that could deter Yuna Hollander from a task.
She loved having a task, she excelled at having a task.
Her current task, while with a bit more moving parts than others, was her most interesting task since Shane was 4 and Get Him into the MHL slotted into her mind. This task was a curly haired Russian, that she spent the better part of the decade indignantly annoyed at, sitting in her living room looking through a baby photo album with her husband while her red-faced son pointedly watched an uninteresting rerun game on the television.
She leaned against the doorframe, allowing herself a moment to enjoy something she was starting to worry she would never have - Shane with a partner. Over the years, her vision of her son’s future shifted from him and hockey-loving, kind wife to him with a husband. But never could she have thought Rozanov would be that husband. Not that they were husbands - apparently they were only boyfriends as of a few days ago.
Still, she always joked to her friends that Shane was married to hockey. His hockey rival and second best player in the league was probably as close as he could legally get to marrying hockey.
She must have let out a small laugh that Shane misinterpreted as being directed at David showing Ilya photos of his fifth halloween - the first one where he was old enough to choose his own outfit. And, exactly two months after he started playing hockey.
“Mom!” He whined. ‘Fully grown adult’ her ass.
“Yes, honey?”
“A hockey player, Hollander?” Ilya teased, delight shining through his features.
“Not just any player,” he grumbled.
“You’ll never guess what he was next year.”
“Not the same one!” Shane protested. Ilya must not have realized that he stumbled into a decades long argument that no, Shane, dressing up as different hockey players is not a different costume.
Eventually the conversation transitioned into dinner. After it was decided there wasn’t much at the house, and they couldn’t go out with Ilya with them, something that sent a little pang of hurt through Yuna’s chest, they all got on their various food delivery apps to look for a suitable place.
Then eventually settled on a sushi-fusion restaurant that Ilya found and his phone was passed around for everyone to place their orders.
When Ilya got his phone back, Shane leaned over and asked, “how much is mine and my parents?”
Ilya scoffed, a little insulted. Though he shouldn’t be, Yuna considered, Shane had always had a very rigid sense of fairness and would get upset if he thought something was unfair. A lot of people found it annoying. Yuna found it incredibly sweet.
“I am worth 12 million dollars, Hollander, I think I can afford DoorDash.”
“12 million?” Yuna’s eyebrows shot up. Because, what. That couldn't be his total net worth, could it?
“Yes, I am very rich.”
“No, that’s…” she trailed off. “What are you spending so much money on?”
“Jesus mom, you can’t just ask that.”
“What? It’s a perfectly reasonable question. Between his MHL salary and sponsorships, that’s low.”
“That is low?” Ilya looked at Shane. “How much money do you have in bank?”
Shane groaned. “You’re as bad as her. And most of my assets are tied up in investments and stocks.”
Ilya had a blank look. “Okay.”
“Ilya, do you have a financial advisor?” Yuna asked. “Or a wealth manager?”
“I think so?”
Yuna clicks her tongue. Task.
“Shane’s net worth is public information - he’s worth about 120 million. He has about an eighth of that in liquid assets - money in the bank.”
“You really have that much money?”
“He’s the highest paid player in the league,” Yuna said with no small amount of pride. She did negotiate a ground breaking 8 year 50 million dollar contract after his rookie season. “He also has nine premium sponsors, not to mention his investment portfolio. You should be nearly at that too - you two have had very similar careers.”
“Hmm,” Ilya shrugged and turned to her son. “Is okay, you can be my - what is the word, sugar daddy?”
“Never say that again.”
“Anyway,” Yuna continued. “I can send you some recommendations for an advisor. I mean, it's your money of course, but it can go fast. Especially with how early hockey players generally retire. Or if you get injured, god forbid.”
“No, it’s,” Ilya shifted in his seat, eyes cutting to Shane. “That is good. You can send advisor details. Thank you.”
“Of course,” Yuna dismissed. Ilya thanked them much too often. But it didn’t feel performative. It felt genuine.
~*~*~*~
Eventually, Yuna got an opportunity to sit down with Ilya and his new financial advisor. He had asked her, somewhat shyly, if she would attend their meeting. Now that he and Shane were out, he had decided to take her up on the new advisor. But, as he told her, he was still not so good at English business terms.
She had felt so warm that he asked her.
She felt a little less warm that he asked her not to tell Shane what they were doing. As far as Shane knew, they were getting lunch.
She understood when she started looking over the documents the new advisor laid out for them.
Anger, hot and uncomfortable rose up in her chest. But she pushed it down because that was not what Ilya needed. Ilya, who was sitting with his arms crossed, not looking at either of them. A faint blush on his cheeks.
Because his very limited investment assets were barely four years old. For the first five years of his career, he had sent nearly everything back home. There were payments to his father, his brother, his step-mother. Trusts for his niece and his step-mother’s children. There was a house bought in an uncle’s name. There was a private school for his niece. There were random wire transactions to his brother for odd amounts - 20k, 15k, 56k. There were even salaries paid to private chefs and house cleaners. There was a weird split of money between Russian and American banks.
What wasn’t sent back was spent on severely depreciating assets like sports cars. Rounds of alcohol at bars and clubs. Thousands of dollars spent on random Amazon purchases, designer clothes, etc. His Boston house with a criminally high interest rate. He hadn’t even bought it outright, even though he had plenty of money to do so. He had maxed out credit cards with debt he would wipe out today and not even feel it.
His liquid assets, which were basically his only assets, weren’t even in a high yield account. At least, not as high yielding as it could be.
He was almost living paycheck-to-paycheck in a very rich way. More like contract to contract. He would exhaust his 8 million dollar/2 year contract and then sign another one. His contracts, too. They were much lower and shorter than Yuna would ever allow her son to have with his stats and experience.
His financial history read very much like an 18 year old boy who had been thrown into a foreign city, with a language he wasn’t totally familiar with, and no one with his best financial interests at heart. Only a family that wanted to exploit him and a new team he desperately wanted to impress.
But Yuna pushed all that away, shook it off, and considered the plan. “This is a great starting place.”
Both Ilya and the advisor’s eyes shot to hers but she refused to back down, leveling the advisor with a hard look.
“It is?” Ilya asked.
“Of course,” Yuna gathered up a few documents. “You have 17 million dollars in liquid assets. You have a great contract with the Cens for three more years. That’s a much better starting point than the vast majority of people.”
“Not as good as Shane,” Ilya pointed out.
“No,” Yuna agreed with a little smile. “But if you go broke, I’m sure Shane will let you be his sugar baby.”
all that remains
the thing they dont tell you about learning to "trust the process" is that you forget and relearn it every single time you make a new piece of art. unfortunately there is no cure either
a chart of what i mean for the visual learners in the audience
Man who hates the very concept of life and all living beings: I should design portal websites for colleges and job applications
yes