(Anon: Hey, I love your account! Could you please write a imagine where Harley and the Joker fight over you for your attention? Thank you, if it’s no trouble :) )
Harley grins widely at you, lipstick in hand with her lips still bare of colour. You stood with a phone pressed to your ear, nodding and humming every once and a while. You nod and quickly said ‘see you soon’ and hung up. You look at Harley and gave a smile, “Yes, Harls?”
“I was just wondering if we could have a girls’ night out tonight?” she asks, then pressed her red lipstick onto her plump pink lips, getting it perfect on the first try. You open your mouth, then closed it and pouted. “Aw, sorry, girl. I can’t. I have plans already.”
The look of sadness that crossed her features practically broke your heart, but she nods understandably and said, “Oh, eh, that’s totally fine! With who if you don’t mind me asking?”
“J,” you say simply and grinned at her. She stiffens. She narrows her eyes for a second before she beamed, hopping on her feet, pearly whites showing. “Well! Thanks!”
You look at her confused. What? “For what?” you ask, but she already was heading towards the door. She looks over her shoulder. “Nothin’ to worry bout!”
Okaaaay, that was weird. You shrug and brushed away your questions, saying it’s just how she normally acts.
“Mistah J!” Harley calls out, stomping over to where Joker was, ignoring the frightened looks of their men. Joker spins on his heel with a big grin on his face. “Haaarley!”
“Mistah J! You know today’s my turn to hang with (Y/n)! Why would you make plans with her!” she fumes, pink and blue wisps of hair flying around and her arms flailing around. You see, ever since you got into Joker & Co., it turned out you’re really an awesome person to hang out with so ever since then, Joker and Harley have a schedule to follow on who get to spend time with (Y/n). It wasn’t just that, they both have developed crushes on you, so it didn’t help when the other gets to spend time with you.
He just grins maliciously, “Well, I did ask her if she was free and she was, so I guess that’s on you, sweetcheeks,” he explains, unbuttoning his jacket wih his milky white fingers. Joker’s talking did not help with Harley’s red face and clenched fists. She then narrows her eyes at him, does the two finger ‘I-have-my-eyes-on-you’ gesture.
“Hello there, (Y/n),” Joker drawls, sliding up to your side, holding a joker card between his index and middle finger. You put down your cup of coffee and grinned at him. “Heya, J.”
“Are you free tonight?” Joker asks, sliding his tongue over his teeth while grinning widely at you. You frowned, shaking your head. “Sorry, J. Got a girls’ night out with Harls tonight.”
Joker suddenly stops smiling, and he raises his eyebrows. It was his turn today. What the hell? “Can’t you cancel? I made reservations at your favourite place,” he tries, no bite or desperation in his voice. You shake your head again.
“Again, I’m sorry. I already cancelled Harl’s hanging out time last night. So, I’m gonna have to go,” you explain, hearing a beep from your phone and you pick it up, unlocking it to see a gif of dog trapped in a box from Harley. You grin and look up at Joker’s expectant face. “Well, gotta go, boss. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”
Harley didn’t even have to turn around to see Joker’s pissed off face since she could already picture it in her head. Her hair was in rollers, her hands occupied with painting her nails red and black. Joker stomps up until he was right behind her.
“What’s wrong Mistah J? Got your reservations cancelled?” she asks oh-so-innocently, an evil smirk on her face. She could hear him growl. “It was my day.”
“Well, yeah. I asked her first, right? So I guess that’s on ya,” she teases, repeating his words from the previous day. She spins around in her chair, an eyebrow raised and a triumphant smirk on her pale face. His lips were pulled back in a snarl and his fists were clenched. His eyes were dark and menacing. Harley’s seen this look too many times to be scared of it, so she shrugged it and playfully pouted at him. “Aw, is someone upset I have (Y/n) tonight?”
Joker just breathes deeply and pinches the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes and walking out of the room.
Vibrations from your phone wakes you up from your peaceful slumber, and your roll onto your back, grabbing the lit phone from the side-table. You blinked from the sudden change of light. You squint and gave a look of disbelief as you read the latest notifications on your phone.
Heya gurl! Let’s hang tmr! - 2:12 AM
(Y/n), you and I. We’re blowing some stuff up tomorrow. - 2:12 AM
You sigh and shake your head, turning it on silent and placing it back, falling right back to sleep.
You sip on the orange juice in your hand, the other scrolling through your phone. Suddenly, Harley pops out of nowhere with a big grin on her face. You scream bloody murder, nearly dropping your phone. She just giggles. “Sooooo… Ya got my texts last night?”
You halt, glanced at her and at your phone. Then, shook your head. “Sorry. I was busy sleeping. You know, what people need most.”
“Also, I’m quite busy today. I got lunch with someone later,” you say and directed your attention back on the phone.
In your peripheral, you see her frown and narrow her eyes, like she did the other day. She jumps, grinning and raced down the corridor, probably to disturb someone else.
You hear a set of footsteps. You know that walk. It was the Joker. You wait for him to get to you. Once they stop, you looked up and locked gazes with him, “Hi.”
“Hello. (Y/n), did you get my texts yesterday?” he asks, getting straight to the point. You shrug and shake your head. “Nope, sorry.”
“Oh, that’s a shame,” he says, voice filled with fake pity. You rolled your eyes and smirked. “Also, I’m busy today, so I wont be able to hang out with you today. I got lunch with someone.”
At that, Joker’s eyes darken. But they lit up almost immediately afterwards. He nods and walked away into the same direction Harley went.
Your phone vibrates in your hand.
Where are we meeting for lunch again?
The moment Harley’s and Joker’s eyes met, they both narrowed. “Stop hogging her!” they both shout simultaneously, then leaving each other confused.
“Wait, you’re not hanging with her?”
“I thought you were having lunch with her?”
A moment of silence with them just staring at each other passes, and a look of realisation crossed upon their faces. They both sigh, looking at each other once again. “I’ll go look for her,” they both say in unison… again.
You smile across the table, beaming at your mother who ate her lunch happily. “So, how is work?”
You shrug, pouting a bit, “Eh, it’s fine. My employers are nice people. We’re all close friends now,” you say, grinning at the thought of Harley and Joker. Your mother nods, grinning at you. “I’m so proud of you. You finally have a stable job.”
You inwardly cringe. More like criminal work. “So, tell me about your boss. Does he like you? Do you think you’ll get promoted soon?”
At that, you chuckle, “More like… bosses.”
“They are both nice, in their own way. They are really nice…” you trail off…
The sight of Harley and Joker in full gear, guns and all, looking at you through the window made your heart stop. Your mouth gapes, eyes full of disbelief. Your mother looks at you confused, “Dear? You were saying something about them?’
You snap out of it and look back at her. “Oh yes.”
Both Harley and Joker get a text at the same time, and they get the same exact message.
No hanging out for the next two weeks.
They both frowned and looked back into the window, seeing you glare daggers at them, while holding the butter knife in your hand tightly, until your knuckles turned white. “Do you think we should run?”
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