rp.

indie & selective penned by josh.

[bistanders]

just gonna be screaming into the void until I'm finally ready to kill myself

[bistanders]

nothing like beating myself in the head until i give myself a headache.

[bistanders]

just need to stay logged into this blog and this blog only and use it as a journal to encourage the depression and nothing else. bc in a hour from now im going to feel unmotivated and funky but nowhere near as deathly down in the dumps and devoid of life as i do now, and im going to try and go back on my impulse to isolate when spiraling/suicidal. and just no. no. if i want to die, i have to commit. i have to give up and let go and move on from everyone without their say or opinion in the matter

at the end of the day, all i want is death and nothing else matters. remember that josh. repeat that over and over and over again, until there's no more life to suffer through.

[bistanders]

oh sweet death. how ready for your embrace i am.

[bistanders]

feels so good to delete something important to me and eradicate almost all evidence of its existence from life. wish i could do that to myself

[bistanders]

i know the perfect spot on the perfect bridge to throw myself off of and every day i get closer and closer to doing it. cant wait for my 29th birthday. think imma give myself death as a gift this year.