person: i care about u me: ok then why am i not ur entire life??? smh fake
Xuebing Du
Sweet Seals For You, Always
tumblr dot com
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
NASA
hello vonnie

if i look back, i am lost

Love Begins
EXPECTATIONS

shark vs the universe

Andulka
The Bowery Presents
taylor price

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

roma★

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todays bird
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!

Game Changer & Make Some Noise
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@bitchesaintschmit
person: i care about u me: ok then why am i not ur entire life??? smh fake
Cutest thing ever.
fear factor: eat some cole slaw
More fun Zodiac facts here
who knows what tomorrow will bring but i hope it will bring puppies
“So,” he smiled, “tell me yours.” “My what?” She replied. “You know, your love story, tell me about the guy who made you obsessed with the idea that you’re better off alone.” She scoffed, “It wasn’t a love story. Far from that. Barely a story actually. There was fighting, ignorance, stubbornness, cancellations, toxicity, emotional torture, and let’s not forget the constant competition of who cared less. We just didn’t work and I know that killed him just as much as it hurt me but lord knows he was a hell of a lot better at hiding that than I was. We were actually crazy about each other, I know, hard to believe right? I mean, there were times I hated his guts and I swore to myself I would never talk to him again and I meant it too, at the time.. But it never lasted long, eventually we made up, apologised, fucked, you know.. The usual "make up” stuff. But it wasn’t along until the next fight, and I think it just got exhausting, you know.. To keep going round in circles. The routine got boring and there’s only so much pain you can put yourself through before you say enough is enough. And one day, enough was enough and we accepted it, we wasn’t supposed to be. Maybe in another lifetime but certainly not this one.“
Excerpt of a book I’ll never write (via 500lettersforyou)
Quality. Content.
Lol corn oil
Hillary who? Cher for next President
Right
Ok Cher!!!!!!!!!! Tf?
You’re in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself.
Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous.
I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years, and then she wasn’t scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters… I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying! I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte’s bed. Across the room underneath Daniel’s crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, I reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it again. “I’m not afraid of you monster!” She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and… She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With. Me. “Move. Over!” Charlotte hisses at me. I do. The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn’t afraid of any of my monsters; she’s afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. “What the…” I cut Francis’s next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. “If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity.” I promise to him. As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. “I’ll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling.” Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed.
WELL GODAMN, WE HAVE OURSELVES A WINNER
Holy shit I’m gonna cry that’s beautiful.
If you’re an introvert, you belong with us @introvertunites.
a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay
neville: *messes up his potion*
gordon ramsay: *holds neville between two slices of bread* what are you
neville: an idiot sandwich
no no no!
Imagine that this is Gordon Ramsay a la Masterchef Junior
Neville: *messes up the potion, realizes it, starts crying quietly*
GR: What’s going on?
Neville: *explains how he messed up*
GR: Oh gosh okay…we can fix this, don’t cry, see, it’s fine now? Just be more careful when you’re adding the Newt’s eyes, all right? Drop them in gently. There we go. No more tears.
Neville: *giggles wetly, wiping eyes*
Yes, he only screams when he’s dealing with people that claim to know what they’re doing and clearly dont, when he’s teaching he’s very kind and patient because they’re still learning.
He’d probably do the bread thing to Malfoy.
nononononono. I get that Malfoy is a bit of a twat, but he’s still a kid. It’d be the teachers fucking up that he’d have trouble with.
Ramsay: All you had to do was treat it with a fucking Beozar!
Slughorn: It was a stressfu-
Ramsay: How long have you been teaching potions?!
or
Ramsay: So you’re going to raise this boy SPECIFICALLY so he can die as part of your twisted little scheme?
Dumbledore: It’s for the greater good, professor.
Ramsay: The greater fucking good?! *holds two slices of bread either side of dumbledoor’s face* What are you?
Dumbledore: Am I, per chance, an idiot sandwich?
Ramsay: Yes, you fucking are.
Okay, now I can reblog it!
@marauders4evr
Fantastic!
@alrightanakin
I’m in love
I MUST HAVE REBLOGGED A THOUSAND TIMESSSS
My favorite Gordon Ramsey moment is from the latest season of Master Chef Jr.
Gordon had run in to help a group of struggling kids with a team challenge and one of the older kids, a 12 year old boy, wasn’t passing attention while taking a pan out of the oven and not only spilled all the food but scalded Gordon.
It’s clear Gordon’s leg is in pain. He’s been badly burned without warning. But he doesn’t scream. He doesn’t yell, not even in pain, and he doesn’t go off on the child who is now frozen in fear. He calmly tells the child to set the pan down and to close the oven, safety first. Then tells him to go restart the food he was making, calm instructions.
My husband and I grew up in abusive homes where any mistake meant parents getting angry (my husband is terrified of spills or broken glasses because that meant beatings growing up, for me, anything going wrong, that could upset my mother, even if it wasn’t my fault meant screaming and emotional abuse).
I didn’t know someone could be so calm. That someone could not get angry, and put aside what they’re feeling (in this case a lot of physical pain) and not take it out on those around them, even when someone around them had messed up, because that person is a child.
Gordon Ramsey is a survivor of child abuse himself and as an adult, the most non-abusive person ever when it comes to kids.
im going to cry can gordon ramsey be my parent this sound so beautiful
FLAMED HER ASS 😂😂
i literally would if i could. what is she asking??
I wish the world would understand..
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