And on the 8th Day, God made Chelupas

Blah Blah Blah Wade Wilson Blah Blah Blah I kill things Blah Blah Blah oprah Blah Blah Blah... [[not ryan reynolds. not an appreciation blog. for rp, and i mean group rp, not indie or 1x1!]]

[xjamesbuchananbarnes-blog]

"My mom? That’s the best insult you can come up with, Wade? At least add a chinga in front of it.” He raised a dark eyebrow at the other’s plans, not knowing whether that would be fun or stupid. “I’m hardly going to throw food around.” Even now, Bucky still had… the knee jerk reaction to be horrified at the waste of food, remembering a time when literally ever bit was used and rationed. The brunet grabbed a nearby pen, tossing it to hit the freezer door in front of Wade. “Hey. Douche. You can at least ask?” 

[bitchgimmemychimi]

"I see you're Chinga and raise you a puta," Wade said. He snorted some. "Well it's the age of excess man and we're not in Africa..." He jumped back at the pen, holding a hand out to block some attack out of habit. His sharp eyes were keen to follow said pen though. He then held up a hand to Bucky, waving him off. "Fine," he said, sounding genuinely hurt. For a split second. "Let' go get some food instead. I know a great thai place that doesn't skimp on portions." He pulled his mask back over his head, smiling behind it and holding out his hands. "Eh? Eh? Sounds good, right? Bottomless plate Thai food?"

[miles-morales-man-blog]

“I’m not a fetus!” Miles immediately protested the stranger’s initial observation with a sharp voice and a stern look, his arms crossing over his chest and his face falling in extreme displeasure. “I’m eighteen years old, not eighteen days old – don’t break into my house, eat my food, and insult me. The hell’s wrong with you? Didn’t you ever learn any etiquette in your ninety years of living, old man?”

“My name,” and without hesitation, he quickly snatched the crumpled and nearly empty bag of chips out of the hands of the other man, “is Miles Morales. And you’re breaking and entering. If you don’t leave, I’ll call the cops – hero or no hero, you shouldn’t be here.” He might be Spider-Man in his free time, but he was Miles when at home and Miles didn’t beat people up for breaking the laws

[bitchgimmemychimi]

"Bro, be as old as me, and then tell me what is and isn't a 'fetus'," Wade corrected. He listened, before scoffing softly. Did this kid not know who he was? And then he called Wade out - he knew. So, the merc just played it off. He snorted s Miles continued to talk, "Listen, listen," He said, holding up his hands. "Don't call the cops - they'll see me, see you're still alive, laugh and drive away. It's happened before," he lowered his hands. "Now, just relax, hang out - tell me why you're poppin' in so late before I leave a note to your parents letting them know you skipped out past curfew."

[xjamesbuchananbarnes-blog]

"Yes, weird tasting. It’s all….." He shook his head, giving a wave of his hand. He hardly had to explain himself to the human garbage disposal in his kitchen. "I might have been planning to use those." Bucky muttered with a sigh, not truly… annoyed to see Wade. More annoyed that the man seemed to be unable to comprehend what a fucking doorbell was. And he was the one from a time with less technology. At the nickname, the man gave Wade a flat look. "Poshyel k chyertu…." He muttered, giving him a rude gesture, as Steve wasn’t around to tell him to behave or to play nice. "I owe you? I have no recollection of this. And that’s not because I forgot." He added the last part in with a smirk so Wade couldn’t use it. 

[bitchgimmemychimi]

Wade sneered at the Russian, "Tu Madre,"  He shot back in spanish. The mercenary opened his mouth, but Bucky stole his chance away. Simpering for a moment, he just pouted. Then, the look snapped instantly into instant disappointment. "Baseball, we were gonna go. Use are sharp-shooting skills to slingshot popcorn and corndog nuggets at people from the cheap seats?" he sighed, "Maybe I didn't tell you about it. But I have the plan in my head. And it's your fault because we still don't have tickets." He meandered over to the frigerator, opening it and checking out the contents.

[xjamesbuchananbarnes-blog]

Bucky froze, looking over the assassin, eyes narrowing. Ugh, the little shit had made it in; he’d assumed that Wade wouldn’t, but he’d overestimated his smartness. “Yes I’m out of popcorn because it’s weird tasting and I don’t buy it. The vodka was hardly stashed and I haven’t done near it in a month. ” He scowled, coming fully into the food. “Get the hell out of my apartment, Wade. I’m sure you have plenty better snacks than three day old, likely stale tortilla chips.” 

[bitchgimmemychimi]

Wade pouted, yanking his mask the rest of the way off of his head. "Weird tasting? Weird - Ugh,' he scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Bucky you're so hopeless sometimes..." Shaking his head, the mutant put another chip in his mouth. He didn't care if they were stale. Wade was constantly hungry, thanks to his speedy metabolism. At this point in his life, he'd eat cowdung. (not really - he has contemplated the possibility multiple times. Ultimately he broke it down to the taste had to be close to the smell. And while Wade could handle the smell of death - poo was another thing entirely. It was why he abhorred Sewer travel). "Why you gotta be so rude, Jack Frost?" he asked, "Maybe I was droppin' in to see how the old noggin was doin'. You know, you still owe me that Braves Game."

[miles-morales-man-blog]

When Miles had finally stumbled home from an absolutely exhausting week of education and crime-fighting, he had certainly not been expecting any sort of previously uninvited guests. If it had been Ganke, if it had been literally anyone else at all, he wouldn’t have minded in the slightest - but this mystery man was costumed and fully armed. Warning sirens blared in his head. If his father saw the man standing in the kitchen, he would absolutely have a heart-attack. Costumed vigilantes were not on his father’s list of favourite things. This was not a good situation.

"You have to leave. You can’t be here. You have to go right now before my parents see you."

[bitchgimmemychimi]

"Wow, you're practically a fetus," Wade breathed. He had not anticipated a kid. Of course, it made sense - the home was well-lived in, there was evidence of spawn running ramped across the floors and stairs. He hadn't gone exploring, just cursory glances. His stomach though, and it's constant aching, had blinded him of this possible perdicament. He groaned softly, and looked up at the ceiling. "What do I do with a Kid?" He said aloud, not to Miles of course. But to tthem, the gods who lurked beyond the Fourth Wall. Looking back at Miles, he simpered a little. "Your parents are very fast asleep, bucko. Relax. You should be happy - a freaking hero is in your kitchen stealin' up the lays. What's your name?" he asked innocently, munching on another chip.

[kreeskrullprince]

Gym bag slung over his shoulder, Teddy walked into the kitchen set on retrieving his water bottle so that he could go do his daily workout at the gym. He stopped and stood rooted on the spot as he spotted the man that he quickly recognized as Deadpool. Being a superhero nerd had it’s perks. Though that still didn’t explain why Deadpool was standing in the middle of the Kaplan’s kitchen eating chips. “Care to explain what you’re doing here?” He asked the unmasked figure, as he turned around almost as if to make sure that the Kaplan’s weren’t on their way into the kitchen. While Billy’s younger brothers would probably be ecstatic at having an assassin in their kitchen, his parent’s would probably freak out and he didn’t want to be blamed for letting strangers into the house when he had nothing to do with his appearance. 

[bitchgimmemychimi]

Wade blinked slowly. Very, very slowly. "Obviously I'm snacking..." he replied slowly. Wasn't it obvious? Chips, open bag, standing in a kitchen. Maybe this guy had been dropped on his head. Or he could have been extremely surprised. Wade had been rude - no knocking and all. "Relax, whole house is asleep - question is," he frowned, pointing with a chip. "Where were you, young man?" All Authoritative, like it was his job to make sure people got into their beds by curfew.

[bitchgimmemychimi]

"Oh, hello," Wade began, his mask pushed up to reveal his face though he stood in his usual Merc attire, katanas resting on the counter. "I bet you're wondering why I'm in your kitchen. Well, you're out of popcorn. So I'm eating your chips. You may also be out of that vodka you had stashed." He chuckled. "Shoulda at least hid it in a shoebox. Or behind cleaning products. Don't nobody wan't to clean." He then pointedly put a chip in his mouth, crunching down on it slowly.