writting out emotions

expressing myself to help me heal.

[black-teardrops]

Everything has turned to shit this year. 

[black-teardrops]

Dreams

What do I want out of my life? I want to be with someone I will spend the rest of my life with. I want to have 5 kids. I want to be happy. I want a big house. I want the family i have always dreamed of having. I had 6 kids instead of 5, a girl two sets of twins one was one of each the other was two boys then one girl. I have always wanted a big family

[black-teardrops]

Myself

I need to focus on myself again. I worked way to hard to fall apart all over again. I built myself up from a very dark place. I allowed myself become submissive. I can not let myself go back to that. I can not let myself or emotions to be controlled by someone else. No one is worth losing yourself over. No guy is worth it at all, if he says you need to change yourself for him don’t and get out of get relationship. You have tried to change yourself for a guy and it did not work out for you. He was just some asshole that nobody likes. He had to make you feel like shit about yourself to make himself feel better about himself. You will amount to something in your life. He could not appreciate you for who you are.

[black-teardrops]

A-Hole

Why did you make me feel like I was not smart enough for you? Just because i didn’t graduate from collage does not mean i’m not smart. I am just a different kind of smart. You didn’t even care about any of that or even me. You only carer about yourself. Yet you wanted me to trust and open up to you but you never even cared about me at all. I was just some sad pathetic girl for you to hurt. Even now all you care about is yourself.

[black-teardrops]

Heart break

I don’t think I will ever get married of have kids no matter how much I want it. I have failed at every relationship I have ever had. No matter what I do I always end up hurt. No one will ever love me anyway, so why should I bother. I am too fat, too ugly, not girly enough, or to independent for anyone to want to bother with. I feel like everyone hates me so why even try.

[black-teardrops]

Hating work

Fuck all  of this. I hate it here I hate most of the people here.I need to go back to my home location, I honestly do not know how much more of this I can take. I am starting to think there is nothing left for me here anymore, but I have no idea what I want to do anymore. I want to leave but have no idea  what to do. Maybe I should look for a part time job somewhere. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I no longer have a creative out lite anymore. 

[black-teardrops]

10 posts!

[black-teardrops]

Wow, I wish you were here with me. I miss you so much. I wish we could be together without anyone else. There are so many things I want to tell you and I would rather tell you instead of writing them. I wish we could e together and nobody would bother us. I hate when people get in the way of us being together.

[black-teardrops]

Summer love is one of the sweetest things you can have. Some of them work out and some don't. Summer love is full of passion and always wanting more than you can get. Summer love is something that made me who I am today the guys and love will always be a part of me.

It's like when you are a kid with a huge crush on someone. I feel so open with him and happy. I wish he felt the same way I do but I know he never will. He will only ever see me as a friend. I know I will always have a place for him in my heart.

[black-teardrops]

How do you know who you love? Imagine your life without them. I don't know. I wish I did cause I think I'm in love with someone. I just can't stop thinking about him I try but he just keeps coming back into my mind. Even when I am in a really bad mood. He pops into my head. I guess I am in love with him. How did I fall in love with him?

Why does he make feel this way when I'm near him? I get butterflies in my stomach. My heart skips a beat. He seems so perfect and I wish he would see what everybody else sees between us.

[black-teardrops]

My life sucks. Everyone around me can find love and their other half. No matter where I go I'm always left out no matter what is going on. I wish someone would see how much I'm hurting inside but nobody ever does. I hate living in a world where nobody wants to be with me. I guess my heart wasn't meant for someone to love. Every night I cry myself to sleep and nobody cares! Nobody sees how much I'm hurting or how heartbroken I am. I hate feeling so alone no guy will ever love me. All I am is an ugly fat girl that nobody cares about I'll never find love and I'll never find happiness. So my heart is coming to an end, along with my love for anybody. Maybe we just we not meant to be. I guess the only thing left is to just let you go. No matter how much it hurt me to let you go but if you ever need a friend I'll be there for you. Cause that's all we will ever be. Life is mean in many ways. One is how do you know exactly who you should be. There are so many things to be but which one is the best for you. There is one thing that a few people that has told me I should be a stay at home mom. But I want to sing and act. I love performing for people. The energy, the time to prepare, and being with others who enjoy what they are doing.

[black-teardrops]

Love is pure. It is the greatest thing you can ever know. My love for him is one of a kind. It shows that he who loves you will never lose you. I will never lose my love for him. He is perfect for me in every way.

Finding love is the best thing you could ever find. Cause it's one thing you will always have with you a toy or book you probably will not always have them. But love will always be with you. Love is one thing you can't get rid of.

To me, love means being with someone who can accept you for who you are and does not judge you for your past. The one you love should be someone you can talk to about any and everything makes you smile when your down, and your best friend. You shouldn't have to keep anything from them. When you find the one you are looking for you will never want to lose them.

[black-teardrops]

Have you ever been so happy that everyone notices because you have become so different? I Guess that sometimes a good thing can turn into a great thing. His voice so deep and melodic it just calms my heart and soul. When he sings my heart melts. His eyes look into my soul. I would do anything for him.

[black-teardrops]

really wanting a new job

[black-teardrops]

No one can control me I am my own person. Whoever tries to control me will soon realize you cant. I hate when somebody tries to control me. All it makes me want to do is rebel more.

I am who I am. You can't change me. You might try but it won't work. Cause I love who I am. Those close to me know better than to try and change me. I love with all my heart and with all that I am. Those who hurt me find that my hatred towards them is stronger than my love was for them.

I hate coming to work everyone hates me here. I do not have any real friends here. There are a few people I can talk to but I can never say what is really going on because nobody actually cares about me. Everyone uses me to vent and clear their heads but I can't vent to anyone about anything. Because if I do they go and tell everyone about it. No one gives a crap about me a why do I even bother with anything. No one is ever going o care about me no matter what I do.

[black-teardrops]

Help me save Dragonia!

Come and join me in Merge Dragons! Use this Tag to add me to your friend list: NPNKYOFP

Tap here to start playing!

https://app.adjust.com/drb62e9_s6p2hpy

The dragons need rescuing and we’re the only ones that can help:

. Hatch your own dragons by merging mystical eggs

. Build a camp for your dragons to live in

. Restore life to the land by harvesting essence

. Make your dragons more powerful by merging them

. Over 200 unique puzzles to complete and 600 quests to overcome

. Merge three of anything to make them bigger, better and more beautiful

. Over 200 dragons to discover

What will you discover?

[black-teardrops]

Some days I need some fun