I'm on an indefinate Hiatus (b/c actual book manuscript things[and no it's not a rehash of my fanfictions] ). Stay safe folks, see ya next time I wanna post a random smut. 😂
I’m one exam away from being done with the semester and MAN OH MAN have i missed writing other things beside from essays! I’m looking to get back into writing during my break but need some brain fuel. If you have any ideas and/or requests you can either reply or message me and i would be forever in your debt! (however the only payment i can offer is to produce some writing)
Anyhoo, here’s an organized list for what I’ve already written just cuz
Reader x Aizawa
A BNHA Unfinished Work~ Reader Insert
NSFW:
Birthday Gifts-Reader x Aizawa [BNHA]
EraserMic x Reader (Poly)
Multipart Series’:
Long Form
P1: Two Times the Love, Two Times the Worry an Erasermic x Reader Poly Story
P2: Holding Together an Erasermic x Reader Poly Story
P1: Storge (Familial Love)Pt.1- EraserMic x Student!Reader
P2: Storge (Familial Love)Pt.2- EraserMic x Student!Reader
Table of Contents: Trials (An EraserMicxReader Medieval AU)
(18 part fan-novel)
Head Canons
P1: How You Met
P2: How You Became Friends
P3: How You Got Together (Lil spice at the end)
One-Shots:
Divergent Trains Reader xEraserMic (BNHA)
Pregnant Panic- Poly! Erasermic x Reader (pure ass fluff)
Hello! this was a requested fic from like before Christmas. I'M A MESS I KNOW I'M SORRY! I’ll be catching up at some point, I'm in my final sem at uni and have MAJOR senioritis. Me no do unless me have to. Instead, now I just spend my time staring at the existential abyss the threatens to swallow my ceiling and think about everything I'm procrastinating. But I digress...
Content Warning: This story is of a negative experience coming out as poly to your family, this deals with rejection from the reader's mother, father, and a grandparent. This story demonstrates Homophobia, xenophobia, traditionalist and conservative values and attitudes and may be triggering to some folks.
This story includes a Polyamorous relationship
Polyamory: the practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all the people involved.
Word Count: 3.7 K (A baby story)
Y/N --- 4:06pm
Hey can my roomates come to dinner?
DAD --- 4:06
You mean the gays?
Y/M --- 4:08
Please don’t call them that. Neither of them are gay anyways, there’s more than just gay or straight.
DAD --- 4:10
Yeah whatever. Let your mom decide.
MOM --- 5:12
Sure, they can come.
Mom --- 5:23
Gma might be coming dinner tho. Maybe talk to them?
That conversation should have been enough of a warning for how the evening was going to transpire. At news of your grandmother attending dinner, you panicked and tried to back out of your plans. You had been growing steadily farther apart from your parents anyways, barely seeing them more that once a year if that. It’s not like they didn’t have their suspicions anyways, to them you were a single woman living in the big city sharing an apartment with two gay men. Not that they’d ever been to the apartment. If they had they might have notice that one of the two “bedrooms” was being used as an office. Earlier on in the relationship you were so deeply uncomfortable being around your parents alone, that you had Shouta come with you every visit because you were so paranoid you were just going to come out on the spot.
At first your parents were sure that you and Shouta were together. He had subconsciously cleaned up quite nice the first few times he met your parents anyways, wanting to make a good impression on them if you finally did tell them about your polyamorous relationship. Then as time went on you got busier and started to see them less. Shouta’s parents lived in the suburbs and you saw them on holidays, plus Shouta had come out to them as being bisexual a long time ago and hadn’t felt much pressure to hide the polyamorous nature of your relationship to begin with. Hizashi’s mom was still a city dweller in her 60’s and on top of doing the cute mom things like baking fantastic cookies and handing down family jewelry to the daughter in law, she’d also taken Hizashi and Shouta to their first pride in Tokyo and had an in-home recording studio where she recorded for local punk bands. She was, quite literally, a cool mom.
You gnawed vigorously at your thumbnail, not quiet biting the whole way through, instead riddling it with dents and cracks. Chewing your nails wasn’t a habit you’d always had, it became a sort of silent worry thing you started to do when you got to your agency and had to remain still and quiet during briefings, no matter how terrible the news was. Your ruined nail beds were an atrocity to Hizashi, who had paid several times for you to get a manicure to get your nails short and evenly trimmed so you could manage them on your own. You still somehow found a way to gnaw on the short squared off nubs of your nails though, and it drove him nuts. Shouta cared less, his hands were in ridiculous shape, he was callused and bruised, cracked and flaking all over the place and Hizashi would regularly force moisturizer on them. Shouta cared more about figure out the root stress, it’s not that Hizashi didn’t, he just didn’t know how to, so he settled for pampering you.
“It’s dead.” Hizashi huffed from the bedroom door. “Obliterated, actually.”
“Hmm?” You looked up from your phone, you hadn’t been reading any of the messages in the chat for a good few minutes and just let your eyes unfocus instead. You yanked your thumb from your mouth and hid it below the table like a child caught with a sweet they’d snuck from the kitchen before dinner, you knew he saw.
“Your nail.” Hizashi gently patted the end of his hair with his special fluffy towel that he’d convinced you and Shouta he needed to control his frizz (which he didn’t have) and padded towards the kitchen table where you sat. He placed a kiss on the top of your head as he strode around you.
“What’s up, love?” he murmured softly, leaning against the table next you. One of his legs propped up on the chair to your right and leaned down to look at your phone screen.
“This is going to go horribly.” You breathed, panicked as you set your phone down on the table.
“You don’t know that.” Hizashi looked back up at you and smiled sweetly.
“Not everyone’s mom is a cool rocker lady in her 60’s who lives in the heart of downtown still and is fully supportive of her child’s bisexual polyamorous relationship with their childhood best friend and an ex-small-town girl with an ultra-conservative family.” You huffed out in one long breath.
“That was oddly specific.” He chuckled softly. “What about Sho’s parents, they’re conservative?”
“Yeah, but his parents are at least polite and send us both Christmas gifts every year and keep any and all of their shittier opinions to themselves because they want their son to be happy.” You groaned dramatically, dropping your head onto his thigh, using the extra meat to muffle the noise.
“Y-your-” Hizashi’s leg twitched from the vibrations of your groan. “Your parents want you to be happy too, Y/n.”
You groaned into his thigh, trying to explain the difference between your parent’s and Shouta’s. Hizashi laughed and gently grabbed the side of your face, lifting it so you were no longer muffled by his leg.
“Try again.” He instructed.
“They only want me to be happy if it fits into their rigid frame of what acceptable happiness looks like.” You explained again.
“Hey,” Hizashi ran his thumb back and forth across your cheek, “have faith, baby. They’re your family, they love you.”
If only he’d been right.
Shouta was the know it all, the one that way always right. Hizashi on the other hand was quiet used to being the one that was not always right, he had no hubris about his intelligence what-so-ever. So much so that sometimes you and Shouta had to remind him that he was intelligent and offered a lot of knowledge and wisdom in many many ways: public speaking, social relationships, radio scripting, he spoke two languages fluently as well. However, this one-time Hizashi wished dearly that he had been right, that he was an insufferable know it all who never got it wrong. It was a different twisted feeling in his gut, sitting the back seat watching you try to keep it together in the front seat, than the usual mild embarrassment that faded after a couple of minutes when he was wrong about something. That was damn near luxurious compared to the painful knot tearing into his stomach.
The silence in the car was so dense and absolute that it almost physically gagged Hizashi and Shouta, the two of them were too afraid to say anything and break it. It felt as though the heavy silence was keeping you from breaking, as if it were applying enough pressure at all sides to keep the thin veneer of composure you were managing together. You felt it too, along with the heavy weight that was nearly crushing your chest, the thick doughy lump clogging your throat and the tremble in your lips. You took a deep breath, it getting caught halfway and freezing in to an unrealized sob that you pushed down.
Shouta huffed and pulled off to the side of the dark country road, slowing into the gravelly shoulder. He turned in his seat to face you, undoing his seat belt so he could fully turn his body. You kept your eyes out the window, trying with all your might not to let the tears that clouded your eyes to fall. You knew you’d need to cry about this, about your parents and their conditional love. You knew that this was something you would need to deal with, but you didn’t want to at this moment. You wanted to go home, take some sleeping medication and go to sleep, you wanted to wait until the open wound in your chest had stopped bleeding to begin treating it.
Your father was being facetious about your living arrangement as usual, whenever he was faced with Shouta and Hizashi his first reaction was to constantly point out that fact that you were a woman living with two men and that if they weren’t gay that one of them should have married you by now. Shouta and Hizashi had taken these comments like water rolling off of a duck’s back, Hizashi even grinned and mumbled something about your father tempting him. You could have kept your mouth shut, you could have kept your cool but Shouta’s hand was brushing against your thigh and you felt it tense into an annoyed fist. Something about Shouta’s minimal reaction lit a fire in you, more like an explosion. It was a surge of very sudden and very ferocious courage that lasted a split second and no longer. You’d practically shouted it, the ringing in your ears drowning whatever words you’d used out.
You were met with complete and utter silence, shock and fear thick in the air. You’d almost believed for a moment that you hadn’t done it, that you’d just shouted randomly and just scared everyone. But then your dad stood up, his shocked open mouth flattening out into a hard straight line, this jaw swelling as he clenched it.
“W-what?” he growled, stepping back from the table as if you were a threat.
You were ready to backtrack, you were so ready to just laugh and pretend you were fucking with him. But you spared a glance to Shouta and Hizashi, their faces pale and guilty. They, regardless of what you could say in an attempt to cover up what you’d just said, were basically admitting to it already. You instinctively shrunk back into your chair like you’d do when you were younger at the dinner table whenever something uncomfortable would come up. You could tell everyone was at a loss for words, the difference was that you were scared and at a loss for words, Shouta and Hizashi were shocked and at a loss for words and your father was steaming angry and at a loss for words.
Your mother, who had always been the least confrontational of the two turned away from you and almost in a show of disgust immediately went to comfort your grandmother. It was as if you were an afront to goodness, an act of moral atrocity being committed in front of them. Your father began to barrage you with passive aggressive questions and accusations towards Shouta and Hizashi. He was trying to understand while at the same time refusing to give you a chance to explain. You stopped listening after the first few sentences that came out of his mouth, falling back into an internal monologue filled with regret. He must have said something exceptionally terrible because in an instant Shouta was standing, his arm reaching out to separate you from him and he was shouting. Shouta never shouted, he barely voiced any form of annoyance or frustration in general when it wasn’t a learning moment for his students, but here he was on his feet volleying harsh word with your father.
Hizashi, you realized was attempting damage control, his hands raised and his voice lower than either of the other two men’s. You blinked back into the present, as noise filled your ears, you mother was crying, your father and Shouta were shouting and Hizashi was rambling panicked. You took a couple of deep breaths and stood up on shaky legs, gripping Shouta’s protective arm for support, and looked your father in the eyes. He faltered at the direct eye contact and you saw an opening where there was less shouting to contend with.
“Stop,” you hissed through gritted teeth. “this is why I never wanted to tell you! Why I was perfectly okay with living away from you guys for the rest- This is why I haven’t been home.”
Your mother gasped a ragged, tear-filled breath. She’d expressed before that she’d wished she could see you more often, that she’s noticed you’d been coming home less and less. You’d been good at covering it up, saying you were busy with work and simply couldn’t get the time off. You knew that what you’d just said hurt her, not in the way it should have. It hurt her because you’d just told them it was their fault that you felt unwelcomed here and not because you were afraid of your own parents.
“How long?” she breathed.
“Three years.” You sniffed, hand tightening around Shouta’s wrist.
“THREE?! THR-” your father bellowed in disbelief. “For three years they’ve been brainwashing and forcing themselves on you?!”
Suddenly you understood why Shouta had leapt up, you had just now caught up with the conversation. Red hot anger flared up in your chest, the mere insinuation that you were being forced in anyway to be with your partners filled you with utter rage.
“No!” You growled, for the first time in your life matching your father’s volume. “For three years they’ve been by my side, showing up at the hospital when I got hurt at work, celebrating my promotions at the agency, helping me make a home that I feel safe in and actually fucking caring about me!”
There was silence again, this one was thin but not light in anyway, like it was a delicate thread barely holding a great weight from falling and crushing you.
“We care for you.” You mother said darkly.
“No,” you swallowed hard, “you haven’t for a long time.”
“Get out.” You father growled.
Hizashi was already moving, grabbing your coats from the back of the chairs and pulling Shouta by the arm away from the table. It took you a good long second to move, even then it was because Shouta latched onto your shoulders and Hizashi tugged him along.
“I’m sorry.” Shouta whispered, his hand finding yours in your lap. You kept your eyes focused out the window at the pitch-black fields with barely visible for off golden dots of light. You couldn’t talk.
You heard Hizashi shuffling around in the back seat, scooting closer to you and his hand joined Shouta’s, pulling up onto the storage compartment between the seats. It was cracking, that veneer.
“It’s not your fault.” Hizashi murmured.
You sniffed hard, biting int you bottom lip. Of course, it wasn’t your fault that your parents didn’t accept you, that you weren’t good enough or right for them, that you weren’t on par with the apparent morality of the rest of the family. It wasn’t your fault that they were backwards people with terrible ideas of how a person should be. It still didn’t hurt any less that you couldn’t meet those backwards ideals, that you couldn’t be the right kind of person for them.
“Y/n,” Shouta whispered, gently grabbing your chin and turning your face towards them.
They were looking at you the way a mother looks at her crying baby in the first few months, the desperate need to connect and nurture glowing in their eyes. They were filled with worry, with pity, with understanding but also, with fear. No doubt, what had just happened had been traumatic for them too. Looking into their emotion filled eyes you felt that veneer shatter, falling away and unleashing that mournful sobbing that had been trapped inside.
Shouta pulled you towards him, holding you firmly to his chest placing his head atop yours. You vaguely felt Hizashi disappear from you for a moment, but you were too preoccupied with the trembling muscles seizing violently in your chest. Then you felt him sliding in behind you, only now realizing he’d stepped out of the car and slide in through your door as he shut it behind him. He draped himself over you rubbing circles into your back.
“It’s not your fault.” He murmured into your hair over and over again.
At first you didn’t really focus on it, thinking it idle words of comfort but the more he said the more it sunk in. The more your realized that you were holding onto the hope that there was something about this, about you, that you could fix. With every repetition of those four words that false hope chipped away and that heavy weight in your chest began to fall away. It was still painful, it still felt like you had a pen festering wound that you’d never fully heal from, but it also felt lighter. It felt as though a burden you’d believed was yours to bear was suddenly the responsibility of the many.
“You don’t have to change,” Shouta whispered softly as your sobs ebbed into weak beaths, “they do.”
That reignited some tears, to hear what you needed to said so plainly. Shouta was good at that, putting those intangible thoughts and feelings into plain words. You cried until the tears and the worry and the late hour caught up with you, until your head felt heavy and waterlogged and you slumped backwards into Hizashi sniffing. You cried until your wavering breaths evened out and your tired mind fell to silence. Hizashi pulled you into his lap and cradled you against him like a parent holding and oversized child, running his hand slowly through your hair.
When you awoke you were swaddled thoroughly with the fuzzy blanket from the couch Shouta hated because it shed and sandwiched between the two men who snored away. As you blinked in the early morning light that just barely peaked through the blinds you noticed the red rims around Hizashi’s eyes and deep-set circles under Shouta’s as if they both been awake all night. Shouta was still in his dress shirt and Hizashi had stripped down to his boxers and pulled his hair back into a sloppy bun. Neither were properly snoring which told they hadn’t been asleep for very long.
You tried to ignore what had happened last night, what had led to the heavy feeling in your head and crusty dry eyes and tight cheeks. You tried to pretend that they had stayed up for work, that they you had swaddled yourself up in the blanket nor because you were sad but because you just wanted to be cozy. Then you heard a phone vibrate on the nightstand and any and all work towards denial washed away as you dreaded checking it. It could just be a work thing, it could be Hizashi’s phone even though he’d never had it on silent even once since you’ve known him. It could have been Shouta’s vibrating against the wooden table even though you could see his slightly peeking out of his back pocket.
You sighed and sat up, daring the smallest of glances at the nightstand. It was your phone screen that was lit up, several notifications on the screen. You groaned and laid back down, scrunching your eyes shut begging for sleep to suddenly and miraculously take you. It buzzed again and you huffed. Fine. You’ll check it. I guess someone could be dying. I do stop that from happening for a living.
You very cautiously crawled over Hizashi and reached to get your phone, electing not to look at it until you settled back between your boys. You scrolled though your notifications, weather, news, a work email, a second email from a contact that made your blood run cold and three missed calls and two answering machine messages from the same contact. Grandma. Your hands trembled at you unlocked your phone and typed int your voicemail password. You held the phone up to you ear and listen to the first message which was more or less just some frustrated grandma noises and mumbles about the inconvenience of technology, followed briefly by a set of hellos. If you hadn’t been ready to shit yourself, you’d have laughed. Then the second played and you had to take a deep breath to hold yourself together enough to keep listening.
“Hello? Hello? Y/n? Oh shi- well this is just ridiculous. Y/n, I don’t know if you can hear me, or maybe this is your answering machine, I don’t know I can’t hear too well but-” her soft worn voice said into the phone, “I want you to know that I love you. Your parents love you too, even if they did not act like it tonight.”
She paused and your eyes welled up with tears, a lump forming in your throat. It was this strange feeling of pure sadness but also happiness and relief.
“Those boys,” she continued, “probably would have killed your father last night if they had the chance. I’m not saying I get it, but they sure do love you, sweetheart. I quite like the blond one he is very-”
The message cut off and the automated voice asked you what you wanted to do with the message. All you could do was laugh, laugh and cry. You were still sad, still in pain, but it was already starting to feel less life-ending.
He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close, trying to pull himself from sleep. You hugged him back and massaged the back of his scalp gently.
“Listen to this.” You sniffed.
He nodded and you pressed repeat, listening to the whole second message through again. You watched as a smile spread across his sleepy lips and he laughed softly. He pouted suddenly when it ended, his eyebrows pulling together as much as his drowsy state would let them.
“What?” you asked, worried he’d heard something you‘d missed.
“Why does she like Zash more?” he grumbled, barely awake now.
You smiled and curled into him, electing not to answer knowing that he wouldn’t like being told that Hizashi is more sociable than him. Besides, you smiled to yourself, he’d be asleep in a matter of seconds.
You were still hurt; you still had that big open wound in your chest. But with Shouta and Hizashi at your side you knew you’d heal; you knew they’d give you anything you needed. You knew that your grandmother was right, that these two boys loved you very much.
Wattpad link for easy reading: https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/259612193/write/1029582306
Since it’s so long and organized into chapters I’m posting two at a time and linking the posts in order below.
I've been hacking away at this since just after Christmas, it's basically a novel at the point and I'm immensely proud of it. Please enjoy! There are requests that are on the way, this longer piece took precedence.
This post includes: physical violence, mental health, traumatic experiences and the aftermath, use of pain-relieving medications, cursing, sexual content (not full smut, sorry kids), depictions of physical assault/ beatings and forced drowning, mild religious content, and a prominent polyamorous romantic relationship.
Polyamory: the practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all the people involved.
Mental Health note: This piece touches on panic and anxiety born from trauma, some religious-based discrimination and trauma as well as physical captivity and assault.
Trials ( An Erasermic x Reader Medieval AU Epilogue)
YA'LL I WAS SO TEMPTED TO LEAVE THE EPILOGUE OUT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. KINDA LIKE IT BETTER W/O IT BUT ALSO IT'S A READER INSERT AND I FEEL LIKE KILLING YOU OFF W/O YOUR PERMISSION ISN'T V CHILL. SO I GUESS IT YOU'D LIKE TO LIVE...KEEP READING.
Hizashi looked himself over in the still pool, eyeing the long scar that ran the length of this chest. He'd looked tired lately, perhaps it was the new scars or the stubble he hadn't yet found the energy to shave away. He ran a finger over the scar, even though there was no feeling in the thick rigid skin he still felt the phantom blade strike that had sliced him open. Shouta's gentle hand joined his, tracing light lines over the long, pale scar. Eventually catching up to Hizashi's hand, Shouta's wrapped around it and squeezed softly, pulling Hizashi's straying mind back to the present.
"Where'd you go?" Shouta asked, mumbling against Haizshi's bare chest.
"That's my line," Hizashi grinned sleepily, "Get your own."
Shouta chuckled and placed a series of kisses along Hizash's collar bone, pulling him closer against him. Shouta gazed up at Hizashi, the soft silver light of the moonlight blossoms above them made him look absolutely angelic. His flaxen hair paled even more, his bright green eyes glowing, and his skin smoothed. He looked content, more content than he'd looked in weeks. Shouta felt nearly whole in this very moment, Hizashi wrapped in his arms, the hot springs warming the still somewhat cool spring air. Nearly whole. You were missing, he realized.
Shouta pulled Hizashi backwards into the pile of furs and settled with Hizashi on top of him, pulling him down for a passionate kiss. Neither of them, Shouta could tell, was participating wholeheartedly. It was strange, it was a mixture of wanting Hiashi so badly it was nearly painful and missing such a large part of himself that he felt half empty. His hand roamed Hizashi's chest and back, traveling south until his fingers were hooked into the waistband of his pants.
"Sho," Hizashi sighed, shifting his weight. "We shouldn't-"
"Impatient." You hummed from the other side of the pool. "I nearly ran here and yet you two couldn't help but get ahead of yourselves."
Shouta pulled Hizashi by the hip flesh against him, Hizashi yelping. Hizashi was bright pink, flustered beyond belief, to the point where you could see it clearly from the other side of the hot spring. You were left with no choice, you had to go rescue your man. You slipped off your coat, kicked off your boots, lifted your tunic over your head, and pulled down your trousers. You dove in headfirst, the warm water soothing the slight chill that still clung to your skin in the early spring. When you surfaced at the platform, hands were already on you, two pairs pulling you from the water to the pile of furs and blankets surrounded by dim lanterns. Shouta ran a hand over your shoulders, massaging gently and he went, hand creeping downwards toward your breasts. He pressed kisses into your neck, Hizashi capturing your mouth with his. Shouta's hands grazed over the scar between your breasts, not nearly as impressive as Hizashi's, but still raised and pale.
"Shit," Shouta breathed against your neck, "I feel left out."
You let out a laugh that echoes around the cave.
"You feel left out because you don't have a chest scare?" You asked incredulously.
"Yeah," he sighed, "they're kind of hot."
"I'd be happy to stab you, Sho." Hizashi smiled against your lips. "With love of course."
White hot light seared into your eyes, sharp pain running from temple to temple. Your throat was raw, your skin felt waterlogged and frozen, and your back was screaming under strain. You were on your knees, arms outstretched to your sides and bound to a horizontal beam balanced on a post where your shoulders were mounted. You blinked hard, the midday sun glaring directly at you, and looked around. You were facing the open valley, the singed farmhouse far off to your left and one of the vacant homes closer to your right. You were quite strung up in the middle of the road at the entrance to the village, muddy slush up to your mid thighs. You tried to examine your binds pulling against them to test the strength of the rope and quality of the knot. When nothing happened but friction burns biting into your skin you realized you were going to have to cut yourself free.
You couldn't see behind you and with the piercing headache from oxygen deprivation, you couldn't focus on listening very well. Your heart was pounding in your ears so loudly that the white noise of nature and any movement behind you was completely drowned out. You closed your eyes to help your focus, picturing one of the serrated knives you stole days ago. Just as the handle began to form in your hand and hand clamped down on your wrist and it blinked away, not by your doing. Your eyes sprung open and looming above you was a tall man with a grizzled face and dangerous eyes.
He wore a half suit of armour, a long lavish quilted tunic falling past his breast plate to protect his legs. He smiled a nasty sort of smile that if had been standing your knees would have gone weak. He looked cruel. There was a small part of you, behind all the fear that was suddenly rushing forward and taking over, that wondered if this was Kozan. He struck you with the kind of fear the idea of Kozan had, afterall. You ushered that thought from your mind, any older man in House Noro heraldry could be Kozan. You couldn't let yourself succumb to that fear just yet.
"Little trick of my own." He gruffed. His voice was harsh like his throat had been torn up by a wild beast and ever full healed, his words wounded painful. " Similar to one of your men's abilities, although he was blessed with more range than I."
He lifted his hand off of your wrist, the dull purple glow of conjuration flaring up against. Then he placed his hand on your neck and pushed your head up so you were looking at him, you felt the conjuration fading away. You realized he was talking about Shouta and your teeth instantly began to grind, anger seeping through your fear.
"That bastard could have been so fucking helpful in the war." he growled. "Could have done what's right."
Anger roared up inside your chest, like wild flames began to warm and consume you. You clenched your fists tightly and narrowed your eyes. The right thing. Shouta had done the right thing.
"Son of a whore." you hissed. "You murdered innocent people."
"So," The man dropped his head and laughed as if you'd just told a silly joke, it was genuinely entertained. He looked back up at you, a glint of something unnerving in his eyes. "he's told you about me? Hm, you must be important to him, he was cold and mule and deaf mule when I knew him."
You begin to shake under his grip, his lip twitches and you realize he thinks that you're shivering in fear. You're positively livid now, this man had to be Kozan. You're clenching your teeth so hard that you can hear your teeth scraping down on eachother, your knuckles turning white from how hard you're clenching your fists. Your arm twitched, instinctively attempting to throw a punch, but the binds stopped you.
He seems not to notice, or rather elects not to.
"Exterminated. I'm an exterminator of vermin and all beings against nature. It's while God gave me the gift he did." he drums his fingers against your throat. "Murder would imply that the things I exterminate are human."
You grimace at his words. He was sick, deranged.
"That boy you killed- you murdered- was a real piece of shit if I'm totally honest. However, he was a piece of shit born into a long line of hunters of practitioners of the dark arts and-" He ran his thumb over the hollow of your neck absentmindedly, lost in his preachings.
"I know who you are." you spat angrily. "I know who he was."
His hand clamps down on your throat, the other reaching up and pulling your head back by your hair. Your eyes, already swimming with dark spots, blur. You can feel the vein in your forehead bulging and your whole body shaking for air and you think, just for a moment, that this is finally it. And you wished it wasn't so painful.
But then his hand lets go of your throat and you heave it a deep breath, choking and sputtering through a bruised airway. You take the brief moment his hand is away from you to try and conjure a blade but nothing forms as he tugs harder on your hair. You growl in frustration and pain, the contact with your hair must be enough.
"Now, generally speaking, I enjoy a good old hack and slash job." he spoke casually, as if he wasn't violently manhandling you. " And when I got the letter about you it felt like it was below my pay grade, after all you were weak enough to get captured by the local law. So, I Sent a handful of my boys up north to make sure you were dead on execution dayinstead of going myself, but our mutual friend and his fucking mutt had other plans."
You flinched at the mention of Hizashi. It was enough that he hurt Shouta, it was enough that he knew Shouta was involved with you at all, but knowing that hizashi was also on his radar struck fear into you. He cocked his head to the side like an animal hearing something for the first time, his cruel grin growing manic.
"I have it on good authority there is a handsomely sized search effort for you from the ant hill you insects swarm to." He declared, his hand in your hair tugging you along as he emoted. " So now, as retribution for the inconvenience you've caused me for the last six months, I'm taking the liberty to use you as my bait."
You growled. It was a frustrated growl, an angry growl and a sad mournful noise all in one. You had been so sure that you were the only one who would get hurt in this plan. You hadn't thought Toshinori would allow anyone else out of the fortress after you. You had been so sure you'd somehow brought this upon the people of Kaer Yuuie by refusing to die when you were supposed to, by being careless enough to leave the necklace behind, by needing saving in the first place, that you had been fighting some kind of wrong in the week. But now, you'd fed into this monster and his plan and now you were even greater of an endangerment to the people of Kaer Yuuie. Despite yourself you started to cry, humiliated and tears ran down your face.
Kozan grinned at you, a wild unhinged fondness sparking in his eyes. "That's a sight"
Despite his vicious hold on your hair his other hand was gentle as it stroked your cheek, following the trail of tears. You looked away, down at the muddy road and tried to stop crying.His sick enjoyment of your pain making your stomach churn.
"I do need a few things from you before this is all over." He said casually, looking at his wet fingertips. 'For started, where's the fortress."
You laughed at his bluntness.
"Eat shit." you spat.
He raised his free hand in a fist, bringing it down hard across your face. Your head snapped to the side, pulling against the grip he still has on your hair. White sparks flicker across your vision, but you blink them away quickly. Unphased, he moves on.
"Toshinori Yagi, is he there." He asked, calmly.
"Eat shit." you muttered again.
Again he brings his hand down and again your vision sparks white but this time you're sure he broke skin. He shoves your head back into the beam you're bound to and holds it there, the bruised flesh of your scalp crushing into the wood painfully. You winced but kept your reaction to a minimum simply taking a deep breath against the pain. You wanted to cry, you wanted so badly to scream but he would love that and you wanted nothing less than to do him any favors.
"Abilities," He started. "lay them out for me. Who'd out there in the woods, hm?"
"Eat." you spit. "Shit."
Again he brings his hands down, this time you lip bursts. The inside of your mouth fills with blood and you can feel a warm stream trickling down your chin. Both the inside and teh out were busted in just that one hit. Your jaw throbs in time with black spots that filled your vision, pulsing until they became smaller and smaller.
"That loud mutt," you instantly spit blood at him earning a shove against the beam. "what can he do? Logistics."
"Eat-" you didn't get to finish. This time it was several punches, his poised interrogator exterior cracking. Your bleeding heavily now, the dark spots won't go away and one of your eyes down fully open.
Now, you think to yourself, this is it. This is far more painful. You shudder, the only way your head is still being held up with Kozan's fist balled in your hair. He rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck and let go of your head, letting it fall painfully forward. The small preservationist part of you screams for you to conjure something quickly but your mind is swimming and you can't focus on a clear object.
"Let's start again." he growled, clearly no longer entertained but frustrated now. "Where is the fortress?"
You can't muster any words, you just sloppily spit as much blood towards him through your swollen lips as you can. He rears up for a punch, this time he's not holding onto you so he can use his full force and you brace yourself for unconsciousness. A smaller figure entered your blurred vision just as the punch was about to be thrown and Kozan dropped his fist with a disappointed sigh. You couldn't hear much of what was being said through the blood rushing in your ears but was somewhat relieved when Kozan turned away from you.
"Regretfully," he said in a low voice, more clearly than he's managed to sound all day "I have to cut out time today short. Your friends are causing trouble."
You watched as he walked away, his figure becoming less and less the image of a man but a shrinking blurred smudge and your eyes darken. The sun,still high in the sky, beat down on you. For the second time in your life you were left, bound to rot away under the sun for all to see. You started to cry, miserably and weakly.
CHAPTER 18
You start awake at the feeling of something touching your face, impulsively pulling away. You whimper at the sudden movement, every part of you hurt.
"Hey," a soft, sweet familiar voice like honey whispered. " It's me, it's us."
Your right eye refused to open anymore, and your left was bleary and tear filled. You looked forward, praying to see the face you knew that voice belonged to. When you saw those bright emerald eyes and heavenly flaxen hair your heart sputtered in your chest. You let out a sob, forgetting for a moment how close he was to danger, all you could feel was relief. Behind him you spotted a pale face surrounded in dark curls that faded into the night, tears falling from dark tortured eyes.
Seeing him, his tears and his fear suddenly breathed clarity into you.
"Run." you whimpered.
"No." Hizashi declared, an unusual severity in his voice. "Sho. Bindings."
Shouta blinked hard and rushed towards you, his hand gently found your cheek as Hizashi slipped sideways and pulled out a knife. For a brief second, you could see the valley before you before Shouta filled your vision and it was chaos. There was fire and lightning and flashes of bright orange. Every time the world lit up for a half second you caught sight of clashing blades and blood-soaked armor. A howl shattered the sky around you, an accompanying chorus of screams followed.
"Look at me." Shouta whispered, pulling your face towards him. He was shaking, he was scared. You wanted so badly to reach out to him and to hold him, you take him away from here.
"Who did this to you?" he asks, more to himself than you. He's surprised when you muster an answer.
"K-Kozan." you muttered against his hands. "Run."
Shouta's breath caught in his throat and he froze, rigid as a wooden doll. Even Hizashi pauses for a moment before carelessly tearing through the bindings, knicking your knuckle in the process. You're in too much pain to really notice and he's obviously too upset to either. An arrow whizzes past you and Shouta dangerously close to his head and he's suddenly brought back to reality. He curses and steps forward, catching you as you slump forwards as Hizashi cuts the bindings around your shoulders.
"I'm going to fucking kill him, Sho." Hizashi spat, slashing at the last set of bindings.
"Zash, I know but we have to stay calm." Shouta breathed, clutching you close to his chest. "We're in and out tonight, it's about Y/n tonight."
Hizashi kicked the beam you were stung up on, shaking in fury. He was so angry hot tears streamed down his face, and he threw his knife hard into the distance with a fowl growl. "Next time- fucking dead."
"Okay," Shouta appeased him, shifting your weight around so he could scoop you up. He was looking away from you, purposefully up at the sky or Hizashi. "For now we go."
You forced yourself to look up at Shouta, you needed to keep an eye on him. This was your fault he was here, near them again. Near Kozan. You gripped his tunic weakly and let out a sob, without looking at you he tightened his hold on you
"I-I- sorry-" you choked out. "s-sor-ry."
"Stop." he eventually muttered as he stood with a grunt. "It's not your fault."
"I-I brought him he-" You sobbed.
"Stop." Shouta said again, his voice cracking. "He would have found us eventually. Stop it."
You want to wrap your arms around him, you want to thank him, you want to be lying in bed between the both of them happily peering through the window at the stars. You felt so broken, so weak and tired and you wanted so badly to just rest. Real rest, not tucked away between two rocks for an hour of shallow sleep nor passed out in a snow covered field. Shouta began to move, turning towards the tree line.
Hizashi shouted, the ground shaking for a moment, and then you were blindsided. You hit the ground hard, air rushing from your lungs, the stone filled muddy snow biting into your skin. You gasp for air still reeling for the sheer force you were launched sideways with. You struggle to your knees and look up, adrenaline flooding your system. Everything still hurt, every movement srang tears in your eyes, but you need to find Hizashi and Shouta.
Before you see Shouta, face down in the snow. He's barely moving, his head lifted mere centimeters from the ground, dark red dripping from his forehead. Beyond him, a large horse clattered to a stop in the snow, one of the hoove impressions red with blood. Atop the horse is a rider, struggling to control the horse. The horse gave one good buck and threw the rider forward, clamoring away once it was free of him.
You scramble to the side, out of the horses' path needlessly and a volley of arrows pierced its side. It stumbled and sways and eventually hit the ground hard, falling hard on top of Shouta's legs. He hissed and reached out, trying to find anything to use as leverage to free himself. You start forward on uneasy legs, no sure of what you'll be able to do when you eventually get to him.
Shouta grasps in pain and the horse's body lurches, a dark figure appearing over top of the horse blade draw. In the fiery chaos of the valley you see Kozan as he was always meant to be, a mad man driven by war and chaos. You could see the bloodlust coursing through him as she stood, blade raised and simmering in the flames of war.
"Aizawa!" He bellowed triumphantly.
Shouta began to struggle wildly, he was calm and collected in the face of anything you'd ever seen thrown at him but this broke your heart. You hated this man, you hated him more than anything.you hated what he did to Shouta, what he did to all those people he killed and what he did to you and your life. If there was anyone who deserved hell, it was him. Suddenly the world shifted again, this time it was shattering around you and a high pitched ringing flooded your ears.
Kozan stumbled backwards off of the horse, his eyes wide and dazed. He howled in pain, gripping the sides of his head and he fell. You realized that it must have been Hizashi and took this opportunity to crawl to Shouta's side.
"Run!" Hizashi shouted at a normal volume, rushin forwards to pry Shouta out from under the horse. The two of you pulled him free and you and he collapsed into each other. Together you scrambled towards the trees, neither of your bodies able to carry your weights very well. Hizashi stayed ten paces behind, shouting deadly waves of sound backwards. Shouta's leg caved in with a sickening snap and he pushed you away from him as he slid down into the snow so as not to take you down with him. You slipped and laid but scrambled backwards to him just in time to hear a terrible silence. Hizashi had stopped screaming.
You looked up as you slid into the snow next to Shouta to find Kozan, blade drawn and ripping with blood. He was no more than ten paces behind Shouta, Hizashi falling backwards away from him, clutching his upper chest and neck. Your blood ran cold as blood oozed between Hizashi's fingertips. Kozan swayed on the spot, blood dripping from his ears, the veins in his neck pooled with blood.
With strength you shouldn't have had you dashed forward. You barely had enough time to each Kozan before he brought his blade down again. You crashed into him with all of your weight, if he hadn't been hit directly with Hizahi's sound waves you're sure he could have just shoved you off. You clamoured to the ground with him, his breastplate hitting you hard in the head flooding it with momentary white. Then he was on top of you, straddling your chest, hands wrapped firmly around your throat. The bright white lights from the impact of his breastplate fade down into growing black spots. It was so quick this time, your body and lungs already so tired and weak.
You closed your eyes and focused on the crushing grip around your throat, your hands flying up impulsively to grip his. You wrapped your fingers around this thick gloves...gloves. Hope, flared up in you. Hope in the form of rage.
It was in that growing darkness and burgeoning fury that a spark of brilliant purple came to you, just like it had six months ago in the walls of your home. It was in the form of a great, jagged and cruel. It came with lightning and thunder and the promise of revenge. You let go of Kozan's gloved hands and let your arms fall to your sides as a sharp thunder clasp rocked the earth around you. A loud whistle rang through the valley and suddenly everything was lit up from a single point directly above you. Like a ball of purple flame a great sword plummeted down from the heavens air rushing violently around it. As it got closer the valley got brighter, and for the first time you could see fear in Kozan's eyes. His hands let go of your throat and he looked upwards in awe and fear at the wrath he had brought upon himself. As he looked up, mouth open and scream just about to escape, he met it through the balde met it. From top to bottom Kozan was skewered by the long twisted bade, his blood bubbling out of his mouth and down his body like a waterfall.
It was a sharp pain, being stabbed by the end of the blade. It was shallow but the end of the blade was warped and as Kozan's body slumped to the side the tip of the blade tore through your skin leaving a deep gash between your breasts. You gasped as he fell off of you the great blade blinking from existence as your connection with consciousness faded.
With it the valley was shrouded in what felt like darkness compared to the beacon that was the great blade. You melted into the snow, your body was at its limit and you couldn't bring yourself to even turn your head and look for Shouta or Hizashi.
You stared up into the inky dark sky, silver stars dotting it in an arrangement of bears and bows and great warriors and lonely lovers. Then you saw a flower, glowing like starlight, or perhaps it was still a star blurring with tears. They began to fall, warming your cheeks. You wanted to be back home, looking up at the glowing moonlight flowers, Hizashi stroking your hair and Shouta resting his chin against your chest.
"Hey," it was jagged and pained but still sweet like honey, "where'd you go?"
You smiled tiredly. "Hot spring."
"Finally," Hizashi shifted your head so you were propped up on his lap, his hand running soothingly through your hair. "somewhere warm."
You only vaguely registered Shouta hobbling towards you, as your eyes drooped shut. His warm gruff voice shook as he told you he loved you and you smiled to yourself. You were home, they were home. How lucky you were, you thought to yourself as the world slipped past you, that you got to be with them until the day you died.
You'd trudged through the snow for two days, looking for a stream or well tracked area to keep your trail to a minimum as you headed towards the valley. It had snowed the whole first night of travel, your tracks powdered over by the time you awoke the next evening in the small cave you'd used for overnight hunting trips a handful of times before. It was hidden behind a dense line of trees and frozen waterfall that sheeted over half of the entrance, making it nearly impossible to spot unless you were standing on the narrow frozen stream that the waterfall flowed into. You kept along the ice for the next night, hoping it'd be harder for anyone to back track where you'd come from should you get caught.
It took two nights of travel to reach the valley, it was warmer here and the icy path you'd been following melted into a much wider river that snakes from one side of the valley to the other. Although you'd never been yourself, you knew there was a village nestled in these hills. If House Noro wasa close to the Kaer as you'd been informed they more than likely were there, it would have basic supplies and a well enough trained private militia could easily occupy it. You could start making an obvious trail now and head around it hoping your movements would get picked up, but you weren't too far from the foot of the mountain and it still felt too close for comfort. The other option was to get closer to the village, try and gather some information and glean an understanding of their occupying force, then raise a little hell.
You made it to the edge of town by sunrise, the valley slowly filling with golden light as the long pointed shadows of the mountains shrank away. It was eerily silent, even for the time of day. There were no billowing puffs of hearth smoke nor dim torch light in the farm house across the river, not even an animal stirred in their pens. The closer you got the more you were able to realize that there were no animals, none that were alive anyways. There were mounds of snow with holes dug into them that held carcasses. There were deep wagon tracks leading to a fro on the main road, and you could see a cluster of covered wagons parked outside of what looked to be the largest building in the heart of the village, probably the local tavern or jail.
You stuck to the tree line, staying low in the underbrush and keeping an eye out for activity both in the village and behind you in the woods. It was likely that House Noro knew that would be at a disadvantage setting up camp surrounded by woods so they were keeping activity to minimum, or that they were actually in the trees and the appearance of occupation in the village was a red herring. Regardless you knew you'd have to be careful, you were by no means as proficient in combat as Hizashi nor Shouta were and they both were weary in engaging in head on contact with House Noro agents. You krept back further into the trees, knowing it would take too much time to get far enough away from the village to set up camp. You decided to instead scout for places of retreat should you need them in the coming days.
You found three promising spots before noon, two were overhangs in rocky hill-sides that were far enough from any road to be well known and the thirds was a clearing you could only reach by squeezing through a tall gap in between two stone hills that rounded into each other. From what you gathered both from Shouta and from the two small bands of Noro agents you'd skirted today so far, they operated in the groups and would have to bottle neck to pursue you into the clearing. If you were quick you could conjure up a decent long range weapon and pick off a few men before they had enough time to react. The last spot was a dangerous gamble and you decided it was best left as a last resort, too much risk of you being caged in too close to Kaer Yuuie.
You retreated to one of the overhangs and curled up between two large stones, willing rest to take you. It was an uncomfortable few hours, the sleep was scattered and you never felt fully disconnected from your surroundings. You managed a few hours before your body decided that it couldn't handle this attempt as rest any longer and made it impossible for you to close your eyes for any longer than a few minutes or so before paranoia reared its head. It was around the time you'd be sitting down to eat in Yuuie, the whole fortress operated on a time table SHouta said was similar to military scheduling. It made catering to the needs of a large group of people easier, and you assumed that it must have been similar to the schedule the Noro mercenary militia must follow.
You gathered yourself and climbed down to the village, one of the snow mounds was caved in, the meat gone and in the largest building a small trail of smoke puffed out of the stacked stone chimney. The rest of the building were still lifeless, the bottom of the doors pilled up with snow, no one had been in and out of them in days. There was a part of you that hoped desperately that the people of the village had been allowed to evacuate, that they went south to the farming country to seek refuge. There was another part of you that was there that night Noro agents were perfectly willing to burn down an innocent man's barn and field and knew that there was a high likelihood that the villagers were dead or detained.
You were tucked away in a bush capped with a thick snow blanket when a squad of armoured men lumbered right past you towards the village. The House Noro agents were careless from what you'd been able to see, too long without conflict made them lazy and dull. There was no care for covering their tracks, nor keeping quiet, but you supposed that there was a part of them that wanted to fight. You watched them trudge down the path towards the farm house, one hopped the fence that surrounded it, while the other roughly kicked a loose board down with a loud snap and then easily overstepped the lower one. They began unloading their heavy bags and with a mighty pull opened the barn door. You were able to get a glimpse of what lay inside before they closed it again and headed to the main building for their dinner. You caught sight of lumpy rolled fabric weapons piled into heaps by type, large travel bags that you assumed held medicine and rations, and leather wrapped trunks that had bright red symbols resembling fire on them. If that meant what you hoped it meant then you knew exactly how to raise hell.
You had to wait until the sun set lower, more squads returned and it seemed as though the village had settled into a dead state. You'd noticed in the handful of times the barn had been opened that there were guards inside and whoever was opening the door knocked a certain amount of times before doing so. While you were sure you could replicate the knock you weren't up for close quarters combat and were much more confident with a ranged weapon. There was a loft window with a pulling dangling over it, if you could find somewhere to month the end of the pulley rope on then you could scale up to the window and use your height as an advantage.
The guards swapped out and you were relieved to find out there were only three, that meant you wouldn't have to deal with several sets of reaction times, only two. Feeling better about this plan you sprung from the bushes and slid down the icy hill quietly, stalking through the snow until you reached the side of the barn. Luckily for you one side of the pulling rope had a metal bucket attached to it that would be too large to fit around the wheels at the top so you pulled the other end tight, trying to keep the clang of the bucket hitting the pulley wheel to a minimum. Praying that it held while you climbed you used the rope as leverage and slowly stepped up the side of the keeping your foot impacts painfully quiet. It took nearly three times the time it should have but with how thin the walls were, slow and silent was better than rushed and caught.
You swung your leg over the loft window and hoisted yourself up onto it so you stradling it like a horse and peered downwards. One of the guards was asleep soundly in a chair, you mentally checked him off as the last target as he would have the slowest reaction time. The other two were right next to each other, this meant reaiming would take less time but finding the trajectory of your shot would too. There wasa thin platform below you, if you laid down on it they wouldn't be able to see you if you needed to hide but being prone on your stomach was too vulnerable a position. You shook your head and scolded yourself, you were analyzing the situation too much. Just do.
You lowered your hands so the lip of the platform would over the dull glow of your conjured bow while it appeared in your hands. It started from your palms, the grip first, the arms budding and sprouting from it. In your other hand an arrow formed, feathers to head. You took a deep breath, narrowing in on the left guardfirst. Once you felt like you were aware of the space enough you lifted the bow quickly, aiming as accurately as you could before you felt that the glow might alert your target. You let go of the string, a thin sharp noise chased the arrow as it tore through the air and then it buried itself into the neck of your target. You pulled back the string again, an arrow forming in your hand as you drew. Aimed. Fired. The second target stood as you fired, the arrow ment for this throat burying itself in his chest.
You hopped down from the loft window to the platform, the second target was stammering at the sleeping one who was just now blearily waking up. It took less than a second for his eyes to fly wide open in shock at the sight before him. He took a deep breath, about to yell. You jumped forward, down onto the wooden floor below, landed with a roll to cushion your impact and fired off a third arrow. With all the movement you aim was hazardous at best but you hit him in the chest, cutting off his call for help. You conjured another arrow and fired, this time the arrow tore clean through his throat and it was a matter of seconds before he was on the floor, silent and still.
You tried not to look at any of them too long, blinking the arrows and your bow from existence as you prioritize your goal. They've probably killed innocent people. You reminded yourself. Probably liked it too. You added. You needed the justification right now.
You looked over the weapons piles, pocketing a few daggers in case you'd need something physical, pocketed some rations and then turned to the large leather wrapped trunks. During your time as a healer you'd studied alchemy and while alchemical weaponry was not your area of expertise it was somewhat of interest to you. You believed you knew what this was, at least you hoped it was. You lifted a heavy trunk lid and threw it back, before you a heap of dark grey granules a little big to be power but fine enough to pour. Your and your finger through it and smelled them, it was a thick musty smell that gave you a headache. It was explosive black powder alright. A form of warfare that had been used in the far east for a longtime, and was expensive to procure. You couldn't take call of it but what you could take was sock fulls. Fabric sacks that could be tied off and easily dipped in oil were in short supply as the pouches and pockets around, including yours, were all of leather make. You cringed inwards and grit your teeth as you moved to remove the boots and the socks of your victims. You filled up six socks and tied them off, tossing them into an empty backpack and swiped a canteen of oil before departing.
You trekked in confusing circles and then climbed up into a tree and waited for the wind and light snowfall to fill in your tracks before heading back to an overhang. You were wary of starting a fire with the explosive powder around you but halfway through the night you began to freeze. The next day you were happy to awake in one piece and took that as a sign that you had at least some degree of luck on your side.
You knew the guards you disposed of the night previous must have been found by now, arrow wounds with no arrows or wood splinters would be a dead give away that it wasn't an average hit. You spent the rest of the day monitoring the response, there were some yelled orders and stricters patrols, less blundering around the woods and more careful movements. It looks like they had nothing to go on yet but that everyone was highly aware of the new circumstance. Good. You decided to target the meat pile next, a little less food in these cold climates would be a sure motivator to want to pursue hostiles south to warmer climates.
That night you snuck to the farmyard, ducking away from the spying eyes of scouts peering from windows. They didn't want to keep men out in the open, smart, otherwise they could just be picked off and their numbers would thin. It took you a while to place the oil soaked black powder bomb and retreat but then you sent a flame licked arrow at it, the explosion was well worth the patience. The barn got caught with embers and the next day you were proud to find a crater in what used to be the farmyard and a dangerously blackened barn front.
You had to buy your time before the next hit. You waited a day in the treetops near the glen you'd found earlier, rigging up four balck powder filled socks at the bottleneck and a well covered fire pit should you need a quick escape. You happened across a squad in the woods dangerously close to Yuuie, they were running- fleeing. One was injured badly and was pulled by two men, one of which was also limping. You recognized a dangerous hound shaped bite impression on a warped wrist guard one of the men was wearing, the others suffering from weapon wounds. You bit your lip and closed your eyes to keep from making a noise, you wanted to scream. They were out here too. How many, you couldn't be sure, but that was Hound Dog's lethal bite for certain.
You would have to act fast and recklessly now, try to get them to pursue you. You hopped down when the coast was clear and followed them back to the village, nestling into the hillside, covering yourself with snow. You would have to wait for a high traffic window. As you waited you spotted a covered stable, stirrings inside told you there were horses in there. You weighed the risks of stealing a horse, how high the risk of getting caught without a chance to flee was, but the ability to flee as far south as fast as possible was too advantageous to pass up. You crawled towards the stables, not surprised to find two guards lurking in the back. You crept closers eyeing the shoddily made fence, it was a Noro installment for sure, the people who lived here would never have such a temporarily made holding pen. The posts were shallow in their foundations and thick ropes tied in notches held up the horizontal boards. It was obvious to you what you needed to do.
You conjured a serrated knife and began sawing carefully at the ropes, keeping your movement and noise to a minimum. There were about twelve or so horses corralled between you and the guards but you need this to be chaos and surprise was the key to that. You freed one log, then two and soon there was asiz foot gap in the fence. At first there was no stirring, the horses were too cold and too conditioned to react. But then, something miraculous on your pat happened. A lantern, filled with oil hung at the thatched roof of the stable begging to be lit. You crawled back near the tree line towards the direction teh horses would flee, if survival instinct took over at the sight of fire most of the horses would flee forwards and you would have a good chance of snagging one.
You stuck a fire stick on rough stone and lit your arrow, you took your time not wanting to hit the thatching and risk the wind blowing the fire out. You had one shot before alerting the guards of your presence, arrows ewr quiet but not that quiet. You drew. Aimed. Fired. The lantern parked and combusted into a shower of sparks, the bottom of the thatched roof lighting up safe from the wintry winds that plagued the top. The guard took a moment to react, the horses on the other hand took off as planned. The sped off straight through the valley, a few breaking off into the trees. You didn't stick around too long to see the aftermath, your goal was to get a horse, after that it was to get caught.
You sped through the woods, voices shouting from the village behind you. They faded slowly as you got further away, following the rough tracks of the horse who'd split off into the woods. Then a loud horn blasted, it was deep and echoing and like how you'd imagined the great warhorns to sound like of the stories your father spun for you as a child. Another one sounded, it was right in front of you over a small hill. The birds that stayed the winter fled from the tree tops and you heard a cluster of hurried footsteps clamouring towards you.
"Fuck." you swore. You still needed a horse, You banked left following a single pair of horse tracks, youwer hoping it was a runt, that it had split off because it was too slow to keep up but it would still be fast enough for you to put some distance between you and Kaer Yuuie. You were beyond relieved to spot a pale mare, small in size but calm in disposition. You could hear her shouting from behind you, at first it was general orders and responses but then you heard it. You felt eyes affix to you and from behind you heard a single clear order above the chaos.
"Target spotted!" It was a deep commanding bellow. "Seize them!"
You didn't bother looking back, just kept moving forward. You ranup to the horse, surprised it didn't startle, it was a warhorse after all. You swung a leg up over it and tugged on it's main, as if you were guiding it by reins the mare responded to you and took off. As you roade you could hear the metallic whistling of arrows, crossbow bolts, sharp impacts on trees and the brittle shattering of wood. On sizzled past your face, clipping your coat at your shoulder leaving a slight sting behind. You spurred your mare on until you breached the free line once again and were in the valley again, this time you were close to the marshlands you'd camped at with Shouta that summer. You turned around and found no signs of pursuers, you rode until you were able to see the marshlands but were still on stable ground that was easier to set up camp on.
You slowed your mare and trotted along for a while, back and forth with no sign or pursuer. You figured that it could take a while for them to get their faculties together after all you'd road about a day's worth of foot travel on the mare in your escape. This felt strange, setting up camp in hopes of leaving traces behind. It went against everything you'd learned from Shouta and Hizashi. Over the last six months they'd taught you how to survive, how to fight, how to defend and most importantly how to run. You were breaking almost every rule, staying close, resting before you absolutely needed to, setting up camp in a highly visible area, making a large fire pit, the list goes on. You settled down into the long grass and despite attempting to stay awake for the night your eyes closed, your body seeking the rest it had been deprived for the better part of a week now. You slept deeper than you had since entering the valley, it was a cruel turn of events, that your exhaustion caught up with you now. Perhaps, in a way, it was fate.
CHAPTER 16
"Hey," Hizashi's hand found your shoulder and gently rubbed circles into your back, rousing you from your mind. "Where'd you go?"
You blinked hard, bringing yourself back to the present using him to focus on. Truth be told, you didn't know where you went. You would retreat into yourself sometimes, your mind going to some far off place leaving your body behind. Whenever you came back you were left only with the feeling associated with wherever you went but never the memory. This one felt cold, and your legs held phantom pain as if you'd been riding all day, a dull sting at your shoulder.
"Sorry." you hummed, smiling uncomfortably.
"None of that." Hizashi smirked. He pulled closer to him and placed a kiss on your crown before pulling away and crossing the room. "Just wish you'd take me with you sometimes, get away from this snow!"
"Zash." you smiled. He made it okay, the getting lost in your mind, the panicked episodes, the nightmares. It was all just okay with him, like none of it was a big deal. "It was cold this time."
"Oh," he pouted, "nevermind then. One cold is no better than the other, and at least with this one we have a hot spring!"
Hizashi smiled broadly, wiggling his eyebrows. The seasons had just begun to change, the leaves were yellowing, the air was cooling and the sun was rising later and setting earlier. Most folks didn't want to be out past dark, let alone wandering outside of the fortress for a bath in a hot spring. Hizashi wasn't most folk and as such he was adamant that a late night hot spring visit was needed. He'd brought it up yesterday evening, that he and Shouta had the night off of patrols and that the hot springs were usually deserted this time of year because the hike to a fro was too cold for most to want to endure. You, much to his dismay, were one of those people who didn't want to hike back to the fortress in the dark, dripping wet in the cold.
Shouta had laughed and shook his head as if there was something you didn't know about. He pulled into him and tangled his legs with yours and whispered in your ear.
"Just be ready to go by the time I'm home."
So here you were, sitting on the bed watching Hizashi pack a bag with spare clothes and fragrant homemade soaps. There were a number of luxuries you weren't quite used to yet but soap was one you adored. It wasn't a common item amongst lower class citizens even less so in such small villages like yours. You doubted even the Father had any, lest he'd have smelled pleasant at least once in your time knowing him. Hizashi buckled the bag shut and looked up at you, a somewhat devilish look in his eye. He was in a very interesting mood today, playful and joyous but also secretive and sly. It was both entertaining and worrying.
"What are you thinking?" you asked, trying to read his eyes. There was too much going on.
"I'm thinking-" He lunged forwards on top of you, flattening you down onto the bed. "-that I'm a very lucky man, who had a very beautiful lady sitting right across from me and I'd be a fool not to act up on it."
He propped himself up on his hands but bowed his head to trap your lips with a kiss. It was loving and kind but passionate and you could tell it wasn't anything close to innocent. You kissed him back, wrapping your hand around his waist. Hizashi was always looking for opportunities to shower you with physical affection, he'd sneak a few shoulder brushes and well timed stealthy gropes in with Shouta but he wasn't overly appreciative of a lot of physical contact. When Shouta was in the mood it was like Hizashi was on cloud nine, running his hand through his hair and savouring every bit of Shouta he could get his hands on. You didn't mind it so much, the hand holding, the hands on your thigh or around your shoulder, the heavy petting Hizashi was more than thrilled to incite.
He walked himself downwards on his hands and began planting kisses down your jaw and neck. Eventually he let himself down on top of you one hand snaking under your shoulders and neck, hand holding the back of your head and tilting it backwards to give him better access to your neck. The other hand started running itself over your waist,then drifted lower until it reached the hem of your shirt, slipped underneath and headed back up. You closed your eyes and melted into his touch, he was ever so gentle with you wanting to make sure that nothing ever felt like a threat.
"Impatient." You recognize that deep gravel filled voice.
Hizashi grinned against your neck and pulled away. You opened your eyes and looked up at Hizashi whose face was consumed in blush and was smirking at Shouta. Shouta stood in the doorway, arms crossed and leaning casually against the frame. If it hadn't been for the grin and the quirked eyebrow you'd have thought he was displeased with the two of you. He pulled away from the door frame and strode across the room stopping at the edge of the bed, his legs and a small bulge stopping inches away from your head. He looked down at you and grinned, reaching down run a gentle hand through your hair, his other hand reaching out and gripping Hizashi's chin. He leaned forward, his lips brushing Hizashi's ear and whispered something so low and quiet that it sounded like a simple hum to you.
Whatever it was made Hizashi's grin break into a full smile and he pulled back from you sitting back on his feet and pulling you with him. Shouta's hand grabbed your shoulders and softly massaged them as Hizashi stood and collected the two bags he'd packed, one you were not allowed to see into under any circumstances, he'd said. Shouta planted a kiss on your head and you looked up at him demanding another on the lips.
"How was your day?" you asked, breaking the kiss.
"Hm," he scrunched his eyes slightly annoyed. "those children will be the death of me. If i get almost blown up one more time-"
"At least it's almost now." Hizashi chimed in. "Remember when he sent you to the hospital last year?"
"Wait. What?" you asked alarmed. They seemed so casual.
"Don't worry about it." shouta chuckled. " He hasn't accidentally blown anyone one up in months."
"Who-" you were running through the faces of the students that you could recall, you hadn't quite met all of them yet.
Shouta placed another kiss on your lips and didn't pull away, instead speaking against them.
"Are you ready to go?" he gave you a peck midway.
"Mm hm." you hummed back.
You hopped off the bed and followed Shouta, Hizashi at your side practically hanging off of you. You left the fortress though a side entrance that, try as you might, you could never see where it was as soon as you left. It had to be an illusion placed over it to mask it from possible enemies. You assumed Shouta had just memorized it at this point, he seemed to know the fortress and the surrounding forest like the back of his hand. The three of you walked along a winding tree filled path, the golden and orange leaves showering down in the cool breeze that rocked the thinning canopies. Shouta held a lantern aloft, the dim wavering light bathing the three of you in warm golden light as the sky darkened and stars began to dot the sky.
The mouth of the hot spring cave was nestled into a dip in the mountain side, it was rounded and had since bestowed a set of twisting green vines that you were told sprouted white flowers in the moonlight. It was the work of an older woman in Kaer Yuuie who had an extraordinary green thumb, she could make flowers grown in a day and crops in a week. A wooden platform had been made at the mouth of the cave and stretched thinly around one side of the cave and at the end was an outcropping of level stone where most people left their belongings. However, instead of clothes and bags there was a mass of blankets and furs, and a woven basket with a lid. There were lanterns lining the platform sending glowing rings of golden light glittering across the surface of the water.
Hizashi leaned into you, his arms wrapping around you. He began to kiss your neck, his hand nefariously slipping into the front of your coat and loosening the fastensings. Shouta snorted quietly next to you, muttered something about impatience. He placed the lantern down on the wooden platform and strofe over to you, pulling the bags from Hizash's shoulders and wrapping his arms around his waist.
"You've been here for three months," he started, Hizashi suppressing a moan into you neck,You had a pretty good idea of what he was doing to Hizashi in the space between you that you couldn't see. "And we wanted to do something... normal, romantic for you. We realize that our relationship hasn't been very normal and... we want you to feel like you're part of this because-"
"You are." Hizashi breathed against you.
You had melted fully back into Hizashi now, your eyes half closed staring up at the vines that clung to the ceiling of the cave.
"I do." you sighed contently.
"Just making sure then." Shouta grinned and pulled Hizashi's coat off of his shoulders, freeing him up for a moment to do the same to you. " I know you wonder what life was like for us before you, and we want to show you and...have you be here with us this time."
He stepped past Hizashi and cupped your cheeks in his hands, pulling you to him and trapping your lips. You wanted to melt forwards now but you were so weak in the knees you couldn't bring yourself to shift your weight. Shouta pushed his own coat off and broke from you for just a second to lift his shirt over his head, he pressed against you again and reached beyond you. You could feel him working of Hizash's tunic, and Hizashi on yours. The three of you worked at each other's clothes, a tangled mess of limbs until Shouta decided that it was time to continue with the planned activities. In one smooth motion he wrapped his arms around both you and hizashi and swung around, throwing himself and the two of you into the hot spring.
You gasped as you rose to surface, a shocked laugh bursting from your chest. Hizashi squeaked unhappily as he swam over to you, flipping his long hair out of his eyes. Shouta laughed and swam over to the stone platform with a look in his eyes, it was mischievous.. no, it was proud or excited, it was the look of someone who knew something you didn't but was about to show you. You could see the anticipation in his eyes and Hizashi wrapped his arm around you from behind and whispered in your ear.
"Look up."
You obliged. looking up at the vine covered ceiling. The barely visible white buds began to swell and open into spirally white flowers, the ones closest to the cave entrance were moonlight streamed in the largest. Shouta swam around the platform blowing out the lanterns one by one and the warm golden glow of the room began to fall away. A new silver light filled the room, it was dimmer but it didn't flicker like the lantern light, it took you a moment to realize that it was coming from the blossoms above you. The swaying water reflected the light back against the cave walls, a shimmering mirage of silver blue lights dancing through the cave. It was mesmerizing, the way the light swayed and wavered, the flowers dotting the ceiling like the stars in the sky.
Shouta swam back to you, you could see his wave reflected back on the ceiling. He snaked his arms around both you and Hizashi and looked up. He looked heavenly illuminated by the dim light, softened and calm. You looked back at Hizashi and were met with the face of an angle, the blue light igniting his eyes. They were beautiful, your lovers and the flowers. You smiled to yourself. You felt it again, that calmness you only really get when you feel safe and protected.
You wanted to stay there forever, swaddled in warmth and safe. Then something happened, and as soon as it happened you instinctively felt as if it shouldn't have. The cave trembled, the leaves on the ceiling shivered and the water vibrated around you. Shouta and Hizashi didn't react, even as the trembling grew in the quakes that rocked your bones they stayed completely and blissfully unaware as if it wasn't happening to them.
***
You could feel the hooves thundering towards you before you heard them. You forced your eyes open, the sky was barely pink with the riding sun,dark purple still blanketed over the world. The world that shook, shivered in and quaked beneath you. You sat up, suddenly aware that you were not at home, not in the hot spring and very much so, not in the arms of your loves. You looked around, a wall of horses trembling towards you, riders dressed in blacck and silver thundering towards you. You scrambled to your feet and tried to reach for your horse, realizing too late that she had been spooked and had taken off into the marshlands already. You had little choice and followed suit, the marshlands would hopefully slow them down and give you a chance to get more distance from Kaer Yuuie.
You spun on your heel and took off leaving everything behind. You vaguely heard a shout behind you and moments later bolts were whizzing past you. Clouds of snow rushed up around you as bolts thudded into the ground, sharp metallic whistles flew by you until one finally ended with you. You were just about to slide down a steep hill into the beginnings of the marsh when a crossbow bolt made contact with your shoulder and sent the top half of your body lurching forwards. With your feet now behind you, you tumbled painfully down the hill into muddy waters. By the time you were able to gather yourself and try pushing up off the ground with your injured shoulder the riders were upon you, thunder around you mud flying around and they entered the marsh.
You tried to lift yourself from the water but a hard boot to the back of your head stopped you and pushed down. You slid back into the brackish water, his other boot stepping up onto your back pinning you down. You couldn't breath, you couldn't see and you were in pain. Panic boiled up inside of you, the same kinds of panic that you'd felt that night, the kind of panic one only feels when directly faced with death. You willed something, anything into existence, anything to help you as your eyes bugged out and your lungs screamed for breath. But nothing came, your hands only found mud and up rooted plants. You wanted to scream, it was the last defense you had left but as soon as you opened your mouth you took an involuntary breath.
"I grew up in the south, far, far away from here." Shouta sat down on the edge of the bed and beckoned for you to do the same. "In fact, I grew up just beyond the southern border, a little ways north of the Southern capital. My parents were wealthy and we lived in a country estate for most of my childhood. We found out about my ability very early on, I reacted instinctively to another child's flare up and quite literally doused a fire straight from their hands. I didn't know then but now that I'm older, I believe my father had an ability of his own, he and my mother used to whisper cryptically about it when they thought I was asleep."
Shouta looked ahead, his eyes watching for something far off, his hand absentmindedly snaking it's fingers through yours. You wrapped your hand around his and listened intently. He'd never spoken much about his life before Kaer Yuuei, only sparing comments here or there about how his mother would or wouldn't like something Hizashi or you were doing, or about the wild nature of his hair was his father's fault.
"We stayed away from the city as much as possible, especially as a family. My father, I remember, would travel back and forth quite a bit. I now realize it was to keep me out of as many compromising situations as possible." Shouta scratched his chin, "I remember how excited I was to get to go to a big event one summer when I was sixteen, I didn't get a whole lot of socialization outside of my family, afterall. The formalwear was itchy and hot, I remember that, the wine tasted terrible and everyone was trying to get married and engaged. It was horrendous if I'm being totally honest."
"I snuck out." Shouta sighed, as if he were confessing. "I snuck out into the gardens of the estate, a fair few of the older men had gone out to drink and smoke away from the general event. They were beyond drunk, and one of them, beyond being able to control himself. It happened quickly, I'm not entirely sure what sparked it, but words were said and offenses made and then there was lighting. A kid, maybe my age, maybe a little bit older, was lit up like a cloud in a storm." Shouta paused, grinding his teeth and taking a deep breath. "I stopped him. I stopped him, but at the cost of outing myself."
Shouta took a minute to himself, whether it was intentionally to gather himself or whether he had fallen into a deep memory, you weren't sure. You let him stay silent, you weren't sure where this was going but you could tell that every word was almost painful for him to speak. It was as if every word was hot to the touch, scalding his tongue for daring to tell the story. When he spoke again he was quieter, scared, possibly mournful.
"The event was being hosted at a very rich family's estate, House Noro." Shouta's eye twitched and his lips pursed.
Your heart sank as the realization that Shouta was about to tell you about what had brought him to Kaer Yuuei. You'd managed to grab parts of the story between Hizashi and Toshinori but they were both reluctant to speak about it fully. From what you were able to piece together, Shouta had some sort of contact with House Noro that ended violently and Hizashi happened across him on his way to Kaer Yuuie. You wrapped your free arm around Shouta's waist and pulled him close, putting your chin on his shoulder and placing a soft kiss to his temple. He leaned into you with a sigh.
"They arrested- abducted both of us that night. I was left in a cell for a few days, starved so I would be more agreeable when they eventually got around to dealing with me. As for the other kid, I heard that he was lashed to death." Shouta's hand began to tremble in yours. "They beat me, at first without any reason. I think they just wanted to ensure that I was broken in before they enslaved me. My ability, it was of interest to them. There was a man, Kozan was his name, who wanted me weaponized."
"Kozan," Shouta's nostrils flared at the name and you already had a bad taste in your mouth about him, " was the newly appointed leader of the extermination effort, as they called it. He saw what I could do and wanted to seize my ability for himself. I was the first gifted person they'd ever abducted for work, I saw a test subject for them. They used me, both for my ability and to learn how to keep other gifted people they found useful in check.
"I was toured around with them like a show horse they'd beat for jest at the end of the day. I'd learned quickly that if I did as I saw told and asked no questions that the beating would be minimal, that fighting back prolonged things. I-"
Shouta's voice cracked and he slouched forward, pulling away from you, and dropped his head into his hands.
"I would erase their abilities and let them get arrested, or beaten or-" Shouta let out a shaky breath, dripping with pain. "killed."
"Sho," you whispered, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. You were transported back to that night in the barn, you trembling under the realization of what you'd done. He was like you, haunted by something he had to do to survive. "they took away your choice. What you did wasn't you, it was them."
Shouta choked back a sob. You'd never seen him openly cry before and it was crushing you, like seeing your father cry. It felt world ending. He leaned back into you and let you swaddle him with your arms, breathing heavily into your chest.
"I told myself that I was only being used when the target was being violent and belligerent, that I was stopping more casualties in the long run. But then there was a kid," he breathed, eventually, "really young, maybe five or six. He was- fuck- he was so scared and I couldln't do it anymore. I lost it."
Shouta sat up and rubbed his red, swollen eyes. Looking down, he continued.
"He was like you, he could conjure things. Well, one thing, a protective bubble around himself." Shouta sniffed. "I told them that I couldn't do it, that the bubble stopped me but I knew I could. Kozan- he knew I was lying- he started to bet me right then and there. I fought back, took out four men with my bare hands before they beat me to unconsciousness. I- I still don't know what happened to that kid."
You were fighting back your own tears, the image of Shouta lying face down in the mud beaten bloody made your stomach twist up in violent knots. You looked up at his scar, remembering him running his fingers over it when Hizashi had mentioned him getting hurt very badly when you'd first met. Kozan. That name burned into your mind, a looming figure to match, a bright red target between his eyes.
'When I woke I was in the stocks," Shouta had calmed now, his voice even but a whisper, "I couldn't hold myself up."
Shouta looked behind you at Hizashi, a sudden air of relief slowly appeasing a fraction of his pain. Hizashi, you realized before Shouta even said it, had saved you both.
"That when he found me." Shouta mumbled tiredly. "Zash broke me out of those stocks in his typical clumsy fashion and whisked me away off towards salvation. He deafened a good handful of Noro footmen on the way, the first time I'd smiled in years."
"Years?" you squeaked.
"Two and half." Shouta nodded sadly.
Your lip quivered. You pressed him closer to you, you didn't know what else to do. All you had was letting him know you were there, that he wasn't there, with them, anymore. He pressed back into you, his arms snaking around your waist.
"I'm sorry." you muttered.
He didn't say anything, instead he took a deep breath and nuzzled into your hair. You stayed like that for a while, until he grew heavy on top of you and you could tell he was fighting off sleep. His eyes were drooping, heavy with tears and exhaustion. You shushed him like a mother to a child and told to rest. You promised him safety and that you'd be right next to him. He frowned, his mind already half taken by dream.
"I'm scared to lose-" he muttered, his lips barely able to part. He faded away, and you let him.
CHAPTER 14
The snow was cold against your skin, a welcomed change to the suffocating heat of Shouta's arms. You'd tried to stay in bed, tired to find sleep but your heart was beating so ferociously you could feel it in every part of your body. Even now, your ears were still red hot. The wintery chill had once against offered you reprieve of searing panic, as it seeped into you the panic left. As you crunched through the snow, following your sporadic tracks from earlier, you tried to reign in your thoughts.
You saw Shouta covered in blood, bruised face and broken will. You saw the embers that glowed on the ashened remains of the annihilated village like Kaer Yuuie to the south. You saw the man at your door, the knife in his hand, the sickening grin he'd had as he threatened you. You saw a child, scared and crying, surrounded by the only protection he could muster. You saw Kirishima, the kid who always smiled at you when you walked in the gates and the rows of gifted art from students that Hizashi hung up in the apartment. You saw a looming figure clad in black armour, no face, no soul, a glowing read target between his eyes.
You stumbled against a solid surface that had risen in front of your feet, and tumbled forward hard. You landed at the steps of the hall, your palms bruising on the stone. You looked up frustrated and ready to accost the building for getting in your way when you saw that the door still cracked open and a dull light flickering inside. Now that you weren't being consumed entirely by your thought you realized that you were shivering, the heat of anxiety had worn thin and you had vernuted out into the snow without your coat and your body was beginning to notice. You pushed yourself up and laboured up the stairs, your knees sore from your tumble.
You slipped in the doorway and looked around the dully lit chamber to see who'd left the door ajar. The hall stretched out before you, far emptier than it had been earlier that night. A lone figure, broad and inhumanly large sat on what used to be a throne, hunched forward head in his hands. You recognized that stressed position immediately, he often sat like that when vital councils were called. Toshinori would sit like that quietly, listening carefully to what everyone had to say with his eyes closed, massaging circles into his eyes soken with his palms. You thought about turning around, going back into the cold but the door had different plans and a powerful gust of wind shook it in it's frame and started Toshinori. He looked up, bleary eyed.
"Ah," he cleared his throat. "Y/n. Come in, it's freezing out."
"Thanks." you smiled politely and scutteled farther into the hall, away from the howling wind and blowing snow.
"Why are you up and walking around at this hour?" He asked, sitting up in his seat. Genuine concern marked his features, he'd be thinking about you when you walked in. You could feel it.
"Couldn't sleep." you said, hoping he'd leave it at that. But of course, he was a good man.
"Are you scared?' He asked grimly. "You're safe here."
Embers and ash filled your minds in a hot white flash and suddenly you felt anger. Anger or fear. You couldn't tell.
"For how long? Until they find us and burn this place down like they did in the south?" You snapped.
"This place is different, Y/n. We're better prepared, we're already better defended." Toshinori's voice remained calm, soothing almost. You felt more frustrated by it.
"What if they find it? What if my necklace- if I led them close enough that they sniff us out?" You felt angry tears pricking at the edges of your vision.
"Like I said, we're prepared-"
"What if we aren't!" You interrupted. Your voice was louder than you'd meant it to be, emotion taking control.
"We are." Toshinori stood, his voice stern but no louder than before. He walked down the single step down towards you. The closer he got the more imposing he felt, it was a side effect of his size. You were reminded, looking up at him that he was in fact a Lord and you needed to control yourself. You wiped your tears away and took a breath before speaking again, this thought had been ever creeping forward from the back of your mind you saw the necklace.
"I need to leave." you sniffed, calmer now. "I could make some noise and lead them away."
"No." Toshiori didn't hesitate. His hands clasped down on your shoulders gently. "I'm not sending you out there to get hurt."
"You have to do what's right from you people, Toshinori." you tried to sound reasonable even though you weren't sure you really wanted this either. "They can't hunt or travel outside the walls and they'll begin to suffer for it! You can't expect people to stay-"
"You're my people." Toshinori interrupted you, his calm demeanor shaken. "I will not sacrifice one of my own."
"It's my choice!" You snapped, pulling away from him. It scared the hell out of you but the fact that Toshinori wouldn't even consider your plan- accept your help, enraged you.
"Everyone knows what it means to be out there, Y/n. No one here wants to feed you to the hounds even if it means a quick fix!" Toshinori was gritting his teeth and balling his fists at his side.
"It's not about want, it's about need." Toshinori was a good man and he was kind but that would be the death of him and, if he continued to think like this, his people. "You have to make this decision for you people, not your own sterling morality!"
"You are my people!" He bellowed, stepping forward and reaching out for you. He stopped short, pulling away and sighing. He was already feeling guilty for his outburst. When he spoke again it was in a quieter, stern voice, an air of finality to it you'd never heard him speak with before. "I will not send one of my own to die because the rest of us have to deal with some restlessness for a while. Your life is worth more than that, every life is worth more than that. I'm not trying to save you, Y/n L/n, I'm trying to save one of my people. Letting you be a pawn is as good as telling everyone else they are pawns, and I am not and will not be that kind of Lord."
You were stunned. Stunned at his honesty, stunned at his calm, stunned at your own insolence, and stunned at his refusal to make the strategic decision. He was both the best and the worst Lord you ever lived under. He was kind and just to his people but he wasn't willing to make the hard decisions his position forced him into. If he waited any longer for a council to make a plan then House Noro was going to be sieging the fortress in the blink of an eye and this haven he'd built would be reduced to ashes. If Toshinori couldn't make this decision then Shouta would have to face the Noros again and it would break him.
You were silent, the duality of resenting Toshinori's words and guilting over your unearned resentment tearing into you. He was doing the best he could, the best he knew how to. It just wasn't good enough. Not now.
"Go home." Toshinori broke the tense silence. "Go home to your family. Let me worry about this, this isn't all on you. It was your necklace, yes, but it could have been anyone else's personal belonging. This isn't on you."
You nodded. He was wrong, or course. He was trying to be kind, hell, he could actually believe what he was telling you. You had killed the young Lord Bennett, sicked the Noro hounds on yourself, led them to your necklace that they were now using to track you and therefore the fortress. Sure, it'd been retrieved but they were already here, coming to the valleys and soon to be hiking up the mountain sides. The best course of action was the one you'd been trying to convince yourself of this whole time.
You hugged yourself close and strode out into the snowy night, your footprints slowly filling in behind you. You could feel Toshinori watching you walk down the road, the image of his tired, worried eyes nagging your resolution. You wanted to believe him, you really did. It wasn't his fault that this was happening, it wasn't his fault that you were a carrier of misfortune. You had to do this for him, make this decision.
You were sure. You were absolutely sure, your resolve had never been stronger. Then you opened the door to your home, Hizashi and Shouta draped over each other. Their faces were angelic in the low like, soft and serene. Hizashi's hair made a flaxen halo that encased them both, you picture wings sprouting from their backs. You hadn't been a religious woman in the traditional sense for many years, not since your parents had died really, but you still firmly believed in the idea of guardian angels. How could you not when you were looking at yours now. Fear welled up in you. You were going to lose them either way, at least this way they wouldn't be lost to House's Noro's blade. At least this way they could tell themselves that you left them, that you picked up and moved on. At least this way they wouldn't be looking their final moments in the eyes knowing that you'd brought death upon them. No, this was better, you reassured yourself.
You had to tear your eyes away from them, every fiber of your being begging to crawl into the bed with them and let their arms envelop you like they did every night. You wanted to at least touch them, give them farewell kisses on their foreheads and tell them you loved them and watched as their sleeping faces grew grins. But you knew that if you did that you would melt into them and stay the night and in the morning all of your will power would be gone. So instead you turned to the writing desk and scribbled 'I'm sorry' and ' I love you', you knew it wouldn't help them in the slightest when they woke up to find you gone but it wasn't for them. It was your last selfish act, you had to let them know that you loved them more deeply than you'd ever loved before. That was for you. They would still have each other.
It was as if you'd faded into your body and let instinct take over from there on out, you packed a bag with rations and winter clothes and dressed in the bare minimum you thought you'd need to stay light on your feet. It was surreal to see what your body knew how to do on instinct, it knew how quiet to be, where to find supplies and how softly to shut the door. It knew what shadows to keep to and what areas of wall were sometimes looked over in patrol, it knew when to flatten against walls to hide and when to dart across open spaces as quickly as possible. It even knew how long of a rope to conjure to scale down the side of the outer fortress wall and how little time you would have to dart into the heavy tree line before someone saw you.
The next time you awoke the long glass ceiling was filled with inky darkness, a dull amber glow barely vignetting the far edge of the sky. There was no longer a hustle and bustle in the hall beyond the closed heavy doors to your wing, and across from you Hizashi breathed softly in his sleep. He had changed his clothes since you'd fallen asleep, he was wearing a similar forest green tunic to the one he had one when you first met him and his hair washed and haloing out around him. You too had been changed in your sleep, your oversized traveling clothes replaced with a fresh white linen dressing gown. Next to Hizashi, stretched out across a still made cot, was Shouta. He had yet to change fully, his pants were still the same black worn trousers he'd been wearing for the last handful of days but he'd peeled off the heavy top layers and was wearing a thin linen shirt not so dissimilar to your dressing gown.
The door creaked open every so slightly, wavering golden light spilling into the room in a clean molten ray. A man, peered in, his features silhouetted by the torches in the hallways, his head was more than a foot or so higher than the average man's head when standing tall. The edge of his broad shoulder peeked through the door as well, and a huge hand wrapped around the edge of the door. He slowly pushed the door open, trying to keep the heavy door's moans to a minimum. As he entered the room you got a good look at his full size, he was enormous. His shoulders were as wide and Shouta and Hizashi's side and his arms reminded you of the brutal strength in an ox's legs, you could see defined mounds of muscle through the rich red velvet that encircled his arms.
"Hello." He whispered softly, looking at you. You could see the faintest outline of his face in the light from the hallway, a kind smile across his lips.
"H-hello." you greeted back, choking on the dryness in your throat.
He walked towards you, for a man his size he was exceptionally quiet. He wasn't soundless like Shouta could be but his foot falls were light and controlled like he had lots of practice roaming around in the small hours when everyone was asleep. The closer he got the more you could see, he had golden hair that was neatly combed back, two clocks in the front refuting the lay flat, and glowing blue eyes. The doublet he wore was a rich blue quilted velvet, the long sleeved tunic beneath it made from red velvet, the clasps of the doublet were gold and the shoulers were lined with little tufts of white fur. He was dressed unbelievably lavishly, his clothes fitting to those of a king.
"My name is Toshinori." He greeted, sitting down smoothly on the cot next to you.
"Toshi- Lord Toshinori?" you gasped. You tried to sit up, maybe even stand, tried to make an effort to greet the lord properly.
"Please," he raised a hand to stop you, "it's alright. I take it Shouta and hizashi have told you a bit about us then?"
"A-a little bit," You muttered, still acutely aware you were speaking to a lord you threw in some formality for good measure, "m-my Lord."
"Good." He was still smiling but there was an air of awkwardness about it. "You may call me Toshinori when we aren't speaking under official circumstances, Y/n."
"Of course, m-Toshinori." You smiled politely. A Lord, who didn't want to be referred to as a Lord, at all times? You suddenly understood Shouta's horrendous display of court formalities a few days ago. "How did you-"
"I spoke to Shouta earlier today, after you and Hizashi were tended to he came to speak to me. He informed me of your meeting and of some of the details of our travels, you've had a very exciting week." The way he spoke warmed you to your bones, kindness seeped outwards from him in thick wafting waves.
"That's a nice way to put it." you responded. Exciting. Try traumatic.
"Yes," he chuckled deeply, "I've been told I tend to sugar coat things."
He fidgeted awkwardly with a clasp on his doublet and sighed, his eyes were far away in thought.
"Regardless of what you've experienced, Y/n, you are safe here." He looked up at you.
"What is here?" you asked, wanting so badly to understand how a man you'd only just met could make that promise so assuredly.
"Hhhhm, where to begin. What do you know?" he asked, a sparkle in his eye.
"About this place?" You collected your thoughts for a moment before speaking. "Shouta and Hizashi say that it's their home, that the people who live here have special abilities like- like me."
You tried to stop yourself out of habit, the idea that you could exist here without hiding this part of yourself would take some getting used to.
"Before that, though... I suppose just the legends of towns folk and gossiping children whispered about the great disappearing fortress in the mountains, a home to the creatures that stalk the mountains at night." You paused for a moment, remembering how you'd passed through a set of trees and then all of a sudden the walls were rising up before you. "You don't have an army of ghouls and spirits in secret do you?"
"Not that I am aware of." Toshinori laughed. "I'm ever so amazed at how those stories have kept over time, probably for the best..."
He trailed off, he looked far away again, this time he was looking at something specific. He cleared his throat softly as he came back.
"Well, I suppose I'll start from the beginning." He shifted further onto the bed. "My name is Toshinori Yagi, I grew up far away in the west. I'm the second born to the House of Yagi and was, once upon a time, first in line for the throne. That was, until my mother found out I was different, to her I was dealing with dark arts and witchcraft, but to me I was suddenly plagued with abilities no sane man would ever ask for."
He looked at his hands, as if they held a script.
"My mother, she was very religious you see, and she could not have a son who would go so far against God so as to practice witchcraft so she motioned for my father to kill me." Toshinori was speaking casually, as if he'd told this story many times over. "He was a kind man, my father, and he couldn't bring himself to order an execution. Instead I was ordered into exile, and sent into the world with nothing. I wandered, I wandered and found pity from a farmer who let me stay in his stables and later a traveling merchant who let me ride with him to the east and again from an old woman who'd lost her son and couldn't till her own land any longer.
" I stayed in a village not far from here for months, and while there, I learned of the local myths surrounding this fortress. At the time it was said that it was empty save perhaps a pack of wolves that had made a home in a portion of the crumbled wall. I stayed in that village until the winter frost began to form and farm work ran out for me." Toshinori paused, it was only a brief moment of silence before he started again, his voice slightly more grim than before.
"I needed somewhere to stay, shelter that wasn't haphazardly pitched tents that filled up with smoke every night. I found myself in the hills and looked up to the mountainside at the great stone walls of this fortress and decided that, even if it were just for the winter, that there had to be somewhere here I could make a home.When I arrived, however, I found that the village folk had been sorely mistaken about the fortress being empty and decrepit. This is where I met the woman that would change my life, the woman who would teach me how to control these new abilities of mine and the woman who would make all of this possible." Toshinori gestures around.
" Her name was Nana Shimura and she was like us, special. She let me stay the winter and eventually the spring and then eventually she realized she wouldn't be able to get rid of me. It wasn't long until Nana was able to help me control my own strength, she was a great teacher, after all. One day, in the late fall, I'd been on my way back up the mountain with some supplies from town when I happened across a man who was wandering the forest looking for a woman he'd been told could help him.
"He said that he'd heard of a witch who lived in an old fortress haunted by spirits that could help someone who suddenly found themselves plagued with dark abilities." Toshinori cleared his throat. "He had originally wanted to be healed, wanted to be stripped of his abilities."
"I-is that possible?" You blurted out, you had been trying so hard not to interrupt but the idea that you could theoretically go back to a normal life sparked something in you.
"Not in any way that I know of." Toshinori hummed. "We were curious too but we were never able to find anything that supported what this man believed Nana could do. Instead, he came to stay with us for a while."
Toshinori paused again as if you waited for more questions, there was a part of you that would have gladly taken the opportunity if the other, rational part of you hadn't been screaming at you for having just interrupted a Lord. When you didn't speak he continued.
"It was in finding that man that I realized that Nana and I were not alone, that there must be more people like us. I wanted to make somewhere for people like us, ostracized, unjustly convicted," Toshinori's fists balled, his knuckles paling. "somewhere for us to seek refuge."
"A safe haven." You muttered dreamily.
"Exactly." He hummed. " I was in line for the throne and even that couldn't save me. I realized very quickly I was lucky, though. Had I been born ro any lesser family my neck would have been on the chopping block, or my body hanging from a noose. And so, I welcome all sorts to Kaer Yuuei, and we became a fully functioning community in no time. We were small in numbers but with our abilities being so vast and varied we found new ways to thrive. Now, we're the largest settlement of our kind."
"There are others?" you asked, shocked.
"Yes." he looked saddened, his fingers picking at his knuckles. " There was one to the south, but it has been annihilated in recent years by House Noro.
Your blood ran cold. The name, Noro, seemed to follow you everywhere.
"There are two more far to the east, smaller settlements that work together rather well. We've had brief dealings with them in the past." He continued. "But they were all formed only after I began my work here."
"Y-you started this place on your own?" You stammered. He seemed so kind to begin with, but the more he spoke to more you understood there was something deep within him that went beyond just kindness. He spoke about his own family so blasé but when he spoke of the shuddering of others, his hands trembled. He was that special sort of person, the sort of person your mother had been. He was a good man. It was rare to find anyone who would go beyond the law and the church, someone who went beyond just staying in line. If someone like him had been in your little village...Shouta and Hizashi had, you reminded yourself. They were also good men. You glanced wistfully at them as they slept.
"Not on my own," Toshinori smiled, blush creeping across his face. "I had help."
Toshinori followed your eyeline, watching the two of them sleep for a moment before looking away.
"I met those two nearly ten years ago." He smiled. "Hizashi came riding up the mountain side one day, a barely conscious Shouta sliding from his saddle. They had come from the southern country, and Shouta was in a bad way. They had had dealings with the House of Noro."
You straighten up at that name, Noro. It was understandable the fear that Shouta had expressed at the idea of witch hunters, especially given what they thought you all were, but there'd been something more to his ration when Hizashi had told him about seeing the crest. Something you hadn't been sure at the time you were able to ask about, in fact, you still weren't.
"That's a story for him to tell, I'm afraid." Toshinori smiled at you. "Shouta wanted to go back south when he was able to travel once again, but it was Hizashi who convinced him to stay. Instead they traveled to the surrounding towns to keep an eye out for any signs of House Noro or their victims who had fled north. It was they who pioneered our efforts to find and protect others like us outside of these hills."
"Hm." you breathed. "Even if it hadn't been them who found me, I'd still have them to thank."
You were both silent for a moment, something hung heavy over Lord Toshinori's head.
"I hope you don't feel as though you are in debt to us, y/n." He looked up at you, a very grim look on his face. "We don't even want you, or anyone here for that matter, to feel as though they owe us their allegiance. We-"
He sighed heavily.
"Many of us have experienced the same fate, experienced the same kind of baseless hatred. We- we can't just stand by and watch others burn." His lip...quivered. You could barely see it in the dull light but there was a twinkle of tears welling up in his eyes.
"I'm afraid, whether you want it or not, I do owe you all my life." You chewed your lip. "But, if the only way for me to repay that debt is to thrive, in spite of what had been done to us...well, I think I can do that."
Toshinori smiled wide, a laugh shaking his shoulders. He wiped his cheek with the back of his hand and sniffed loudly.
"A-are you crying?" Shouta asked blearily from his cot, rubbing his eyes.
"It's not my fault this time, I swear." Toshinori laughed softly, realizing he had to be quieter lest he want to also wake Hizashi. "She's a good one."
"Yeah," Shouta smiled sleepily and looked at you through heavy eyelashes. "I know."
You smiled back. He was so...relaxed. Even during the calm points in your travel Shouta still seemed aware, or alert, or at least uncomfortable. For the first time since you'd met him he seemed fully relaxed, like he'd been able to leave his constant vigilance at the gate. There was something about the way he slumped back against the headboard to this cot that warmed you. You suddenly felt as safe as he seemed to, waves of relief washed over you. You hadn't realized that you'd been holding on to so much fear until just now, even when Toshinori had promised you safety you'd been reluctant to let go.
You were, for the first time since this had all begun, really looking forward. Not staring with empty eyes at a horizon, fooling yourself into thinking you were trying to think of the future, when really you were too stuck in the present and the past. A sudden flurry of thought hit you, like who would you meet, what would you eat, would you become a healer here, what would you do for a living, where would you live.
"Uh," you swallowed. "W-where am I going to live? I mean, how does this work, here?"
"We'll have to find you a place." Toshinori leaned back comfortably, as if problem solving was his natural state. "You may have to stay in the training barracks for a while, or possibly the dorms at the school until we can get you settled."
"She can-" Shouta started abruptly, then slowed himself down. "She can stay with us, for the time being. We've already been traveling together so-"
"If Y/n is alright with that, I suppose." Toshinori pondered. "Of course, if you want more privacy you could always-"
"I would like that." you rushed. "I-I uh, don't really want to...be alone."
A wild blush crept across your face and you looked down at your hands. It was strange, you felt inexplicably safe with both of these men, perhaps it was the vulnerability the Lord had just shown you, but you felt as though they could be trusted with that information. However, you were a fully grown woman who lived on her own for the better part of her adult years now and admitting something like that was mortifying.
You felt the edge of your cot dip and looked up to find Shouta sitting at your feet. He placed a hand on your leg and ran his up and down your leg in long soothing motions.
"You don't have to be." he hummed, sleep still thick in his voice. He was half awake but his instincts were still telling him to comfort you. You heart swelled.
"Settled." Toshinori declared. "You have time to get settled, to build a life Y/n. Don't worry about the future just yet, alright?"
CHAPTER 12
Winter
6 months Later
The world had frozen overnight, what had started off as a mild winter had quickly become snow up to your knees and breaths freezing on your lips. You peered beyond the bushes, the buck knee-deep in snow, its snout rummaging around for frozen berries of a snow capped bush. You slowly shifted your balance so you were perched up on one knee, your other leg propped to balance you. Slowly you lifted your semi-translucent shimmering bow, an arrow notched and ready to be drawn. You hoped the bush would give you enough cover to hide the dull purple glow that radiated from your bow as you aimed. You'd been able to somewhat control the amount of light and the opacity of the items you conjured since coming to Kaer Yuuei but there was always a residual purple glow about everything.
You stilled yourself and dre your bow, lining up a shot towards the lower front of the buck's abdomen. You could feel the strain of the bow under your fingers, with every passing second your arms began to sway more and more under the draw weight. You held your breath and released the arrow, somewhat cloaked by its transparent nature, you could barely see it fly over the snow. The buck shunted sideways with the force of the blow and scuttled into the treeline, disappearing over a bank of snow that had piled up around the base of the trees. You dropped the bow, the astral conjuration blinking from existence before it could hit the snow.
You dashed through clearing after the buck, with a wound like that, especially now that the arrow had been dismissed, it wouldn't take too long for the buck to pass out. A thick trail of blood had melted through the snow, the buck only made it a few rows of trees before its legs gave out. Its eyes were glazed over and its breaths were shallow and laboured and you had to grit your teeth and close your eyes and you summon a long blade to make its final moments easier. You looped a thick rope around it's rear hooves and begna your trek back to Kaer Yuuei, towing your bounty behind you in the snow.
The sun had begun to set by the time you made it to the gates, as the mountain side grew darker the golden lights of Kaer Yuuei grew brighter.
"Y/n!" Kirishima greeted, smiling brilliantly. He was one of the boys you'd seen opening the gates of the first day you arrived and over the last six months you'd learn he was one of Shouta's students. "There's an emergency council at the hall, just got called a few minutes ago. I'll take the buck to the butcher so you're not late."
As if the buck hadn't weighed over two hundred pounds, Kirishima wrapped the rope around his hands and hauled it off down the road with ease. You jogged through the layers of the fortress, noticing the streets were less busy than they normally were. This meant that either the snow had deterred folks from leaving their homes or that the council was dire. Councils were held in what you had assumed to be Lord Toshinori's manor when you first arrived at Kaer Yuuei, however you later found out that he only lived on one of the upper floors and the rest of this building was used by the public for gatherings, councils and a place to host large celebratory meals.
The door was just barely cracked open and as you slipped in you were met with a broad pair of shoulders, you ducked to the side and apologized for the near collison. A hand grabbed yours and tugged you away towards a pillar that left a bit of an empty pocket behind it, away from the overly crowded room. You followed, looking up to see Hizashi grinning at you. His nose and cheeks were pink as if he'd just come in from the cold and he still had a great furry hood pulled up over his head.
"You're late." he mumbled under his breath as the two of you settled next to the pillar. The room was filled with a low rumble of voices, the council had obviously not started just yet. You could hear a few words here and there, some were just talking idly and others wondering why the council had been called.
"The snow slowed me down." You responded, taking off your thick fur lined mittens. "Where's Sho? I thought you two had class together today."
"At the front." Hizashi's usually dopey grin faltered. "He got called away by Toshinori earlier today, I think something's happened. I heard whispers of a scout returning late last night in bad shape."
" I heard there were some sightings of House Noro not too far from here, a little south but still too close for comfort." A sultry, feminine voice hummed behind you.
You looked over your shoulder to see a familiar face. Nemuri was a beautiful woman with long dark hair and icy blue eyes, a coy smile seemed to be permanently affixed to her lips. Nemuri had become one of your closest points of contact since coming to Kaer Yuuei, she had been friends with Hizashi since he was a kid. They went their separate ways as teens, Hizashi leaving after the bandit attack on his village and the two of them reconnected years later, here.
Hizashi swore under his breath and crossed his arms.
"Makes sense." He grumbled. "That's why'd they call Sho."
You were about to ask for clarification on the rumor but Toshinori's booming voice rang out, silencing the room.
"I understand the shift change is going to happen soon so I'll make this as quick as possible." He started, his voice sounded tired. Hell, he looked tired, his normal shining yes were weighed down by dark circles. "A week ago one of our agents went missing, he turned up again last night. He'd been intercepted by a group of riders while returning from an investigation out west and was abducted."
There was a collective breath. You could feel the tone of the room change all in one moment, there was a tense fear beginning to creep into everyone. Yourself included.
"Whilst in captivity our agent was able to obtain important information. Namely that the riders who abducted him were of House Noro, this was verified by Shouta who examined a letter with a crest our agent had managed to collect." Toshinori glances sparingly at Shouta. You weren't able to see much of Shouta through the crowd but you could tell he was slouching, and there was a dark look on the half of his face you could see. "What's more is that he was able to find out that the Noro family have been enslaving gifted people and forcing them to work on their behalf. While we are not entirely clear to what these gifted individuals can do, our agent was able to find out one of the slaves had a tracking abiltiy."
A smaller man, perhaps he was regular sized only to be dwarfed by Toshinori, stepped forward with a linen bag and handed it off to the Lord.
"From what our agent was able to gather this individual is able to track the general direction of an individual, using an object with immense personal value. During their escape our agent grabbed an item he'd seen the tracker using." Toshinori opened the bag and reached inside. You shifted to the side a bit to peer through a set of large shoulders, trying to get a better view of the item and he pulled it out.
"We believe that this item is how they've managed to get so close to us." he declared, withdrawing his hand.
From his fingertips dangled a necklace. The chain was silver, warped in places, and in the center hung a polished turquoise stone surrounded by silver filigree. That necklace, the last time you'd seen that necklace it had been glittering in the sun a handful of yard from you, hanging at a vender's stall and labeled a witch's medallion. You'd dreamed about that necklace a few times since you'd made it to Yuuei, about how it hung around your mother's neck, how it looked against her always clean linen dresses, how you'd wanted it for yourself so badly as a child. You'd half thought about going back to find it or asking the next person who would be passing through your old town to buy it for you.
Your stomach dropped, and suddenly the room was too hot and your mouth was dry. Your breaths felt heavy, like running your hand through water. The men in front of you were radiating heat, scorching waves of sweat. Hizashi and Nemuri too, and you pulled back. Your back met someone's chest and you huffed a rushed apology and ducked away, yoru shoulder brushed someone and then another, no where you ducked to was safe. The room was positively sweltering now, sweat was pooling under your jacket and every person you came in contact with felt like a hot iron pressed into your body, breaths coming harder and harder with every contact. You scrambled for the door, trying to dip and weave and stay away from stray shoulders and out cropped elbows. You pushed on the heavy doors with all your weight and were greeted with a cold wind, littered with snowflakes and you stepped out into the night.
Hizashi clamoured out after you, you name on his lips. He'd been calling you names you'd realized as the cold snow granted you more clarity. He's been calling your name the whole time. You didn't have the breath to speak, you didn't have the breath to think. You barely hand enough to be feeling the panic that was rising in your chest. You slid down to your knees in the show and buried your bare hands into the fresh icy powder trying to grip for more clarity.
"Y/n," Hizashi's arms wrapped around you and you could feel his chest pressing into you back. He'd slip down into the snow with you. "what's happening?"
His voice was soft, comforting but a little frightened. He placed his chin on your shoulder and in an instant just having him wrapped around you your breaths came easier.
"The-" you panted, swallowing hard. He waited patiently, looking his finger through yours. "The necklace, Hizashi-"
"What about it?" he asked, directing your frantic thoughts as you trailed off.
"Mine." you hiccuped. Hot tears were swelling in your eyes now, the panic was giving way to guilt now. "Me. They're tracking-"
"It'll be, okay." Hizashi shushed you softly.
It wasn't true. It hadn't been true, not ever. You were meant to die in that cage, you cheated death when they showed up and this was punishment for that. You were the reason why this new life of yours was going to be taken away.
"Stop." you huffed. "Stop- lying."
Hizashi's arms tensed, you'd hit a nerve. He pulled away and stepped around you so he was crouching in the snow, his emerald green eyes boring into your own.
"I'm not." he declared. "We'll fix this, we always do. We'll take care of you."
You felt your bottom lip quiver and the tears that welled up in your eyes fell. You'd needed saving so much during your time with Shouta and Hizashi and you tried not to feel badly about it but you couldn't help but feel guilty now. Not only was you who needed saving but now all of the gifted folk who were in danger because you were the one they were tracking. Hizahsi grabbed your face with both of his hands and stared in your weeping eyes, you could see him breaking apart slowly. He sighed and dropped his head to yours, leaning against you. His breath floated up into the air and surrounded you.
"I'll talk to Toshinori when the council is adjourned, we'll figure this out." He sniffed.
You nodded against him.
"I- I just need some time-" you sniffed hard. "time to collect myself. I'm going to head home."
He helped you up, again you were reminded of how strong he was despite his lithe frame.
"We're not losing you." he smiled sadly at you.
He looked at you for a moment, lingering long enough to stew in whatever emotions were boiling up inside of him. He blinked them down, cleared his throat and turned back toward the hall. He turned back briefly, jutting his child out toward the east wall where your shared home was and ordered you away with a soft "go".
You obliged and started off towards home, snow crushing beneath your heavy boots. Your hands were burning now with that awful sting of freezing skin. The snow that had melted against your skin was freezing now into thin sheets of ice and you found yourself being able to wipe it off on your coat in thin layers of white. Your cheeks stung, the spilled tears leaving you skin raw and susceptible to the cold.
By the time you made it to the wall, you were so frozen that you could feel the warmth radiating from the apartments stacked against it. You sprinted up the staircase to your door, wishing desperately that Hizashi and Shouta had gotten a ground level home as your foot slipped out from under you and you gripped the rickety wooden railing for dear life. There was a dull glow through the warped glass window, a luxury you hadn't yet gotten used to, windows that didn't need shutters. You pulled on the latch and was greeted by warm humid air and a small dying fire in the hearth. Another luxury you weren't accustomed to, fires that were tended to throughout the day for you so your home was warm when you returned. Living in Kaer Yuuei was somewhat a dream at times if you were honest.
You still remembered the first time you'd stepped foot in your new home, despite the fact that Hizashi and Shouta had spent the whole day with you in the hospital. You'd never lived higher than ground level, and you felt as though you had to walk softly everywhere so as not to disturb your lower neighbors. Hizashi got a good laugh at that one, watching you tiptoe around for days before telling you that they lived over a storage room.
Back then the living space was a little different, there were three rooms. The main room was the largest and had held a bed big enough for the two of them on one side, a fireplace on the other and a worn out chaise lounge that looked as though it had once existed in a castle somewhere was sat in the middle. When you'd ask about it later Hizashi would grin and tell you that it was stolen from a rather unkindly noble during a move from one city to the next, however he would be very adamant that it was not he who did the thieving. The other two rooms were smaller, one a store room that was on the other side of a small door on the far side of the bed and the other a lavatory through a door on the other side of the bed. Along the far side of the room there was a line of twine strung up around the ceiling, pieces of parchment with dexterously drawn scribbles, letters with misspelled words and small crafts hung from it. A fraying thick knitted blanket and a bundle of furs were draped over the chaise lounge, obviously seeing very little use in the hot summer days. At the foot of the bed there was a large dented drunk and a small furry animal curled atop it snoring.
"Uh, w-welcome home." Hizashi smiled. "We'll obviously have to change some things around now that you're here."
It was around the same size as your cottage, only in your cottage you'd managed to pack in a counter, a kitchen table, a padded bench you used as a bed for your patients, a large chair with a footrest you usually slept in, two bookcases of herb bunches and glass vials and fireplace. Compared to your cottage this was rather spacious.
"There's a lavatory through there." Shouta pointed to the closest door awkwardly as if he was showing his new home to his parents awaiting judgement. It was strange, you realized, seeing their domestic life after having spent the entirety of your time with them sleeping in the wilderness and running from armed mercenaries. "But there's some hot springs in the caves behind the hall where most of the fortress tends to bathe."
"A hot spring?" you repeated. "This place is starting to feel like a resort."
"Yeah," Shouta looked lost in space, staring wistfully at nothing in particular. "it's pretty nice here."
You looked around again when a thought sprung itself on you. There was one bed... and a couch. It wasn't that you were opposed to sharing a bed with them, in fact the three of you were essentially sharing a bed by combining your bedrolls in the bottom of the wago for the last few days of the journey and before that Hizashi had woken up nearly cuddling you a few times. It was more that you were unsure of where you stood. It was one thing to admit you found each other attractive and another entirely to act upon those attractions.
"So," you toed your boots together awkwardly and looked at the chaise lounge, "is that mine or, uh- are we going to get a cot?"
Hizashi's brow shot up and his eyes darted back and forth between you and the chaise lounge.
"No." He snorted, incredulously. "You're sleeping in the bed!"
Then it dawned on him, the real question. A bright pink blush sprung up in his cheeks and a small nervous grin formed at his lip.
"Well," He began one long stammering sentence, "only if you want to- or feel comfortable- i mean we don't have to- we can take the - although i don't think we'd really fit and-"
He was rattling off half finished sentences faster than you could piece them together, a thin veil of nervous sweat forming at his brow. He started to nervously laugh between sentences, blushing more furiously than before. You fought off a smile and side eyes Shouta to gage his reaction to find him openly grinning. He looked pleased, both with the offer and with Hizashi bumbling. His eyes flickered to you and there was a silent moment between you, something you were starting to realize was going to be a hallmark of your relationship, these wordless conversations. He nodded softly answering the silent question of whether you really belonged here. The question had tugged at the back of your mind since you woke up after Toshinori's visit, whether your attachment to them was a circumstance of how you met and whether theirs was some sort of saviors complex. Whether you were really meant to be here with them or if you were encroaching on their lives. But it melted away with the way Shouta looked at you, with such a dreamy softness. You could feel the contentment with this life in his eyes, you could see love in his eyes.
You strode over to hizashi and took his fidgeting hands in yours, his mouth instantly unable to form real words. You take a split second to muster up all your courage, this certainly felt harder than running away from murderous mercenaries, and places and kisses on Hizashi's lips. It was short but sweet and just as you pulled back he let go of your hands and gently clasped each side of your face and pulled you in, this time for a longer more passionate kiss that pulled the breath right from your lungs.
Behind you you heard a low laugh and when you separated Hizashi rested his forehead against yours but one of his hands began to fish around his pocket. He giggled softly to himself and apologized under his breath, still obviously flustered from the kiss. Then a coin was being tossed over your shoulder and Shouta, silent as ever was behind you, catching it. Hizashi's hand returned your cheek and instead of kissing you against he stayed pressed against you for a moment.
Then you realized what just happened.
"Wait." You pulled back. "Did you- did you make a bet about me kissing you?!"
"Yeah." Shouta hummed behind you, he pressed forward his chest meeting your back. You felt the instinctual want to just melt back into him but fought it. "I was sure it'd be with him first."
"H-how were you so sure I'd kiss either of you!" you huffed, albeit playfully.
"Oh no." Hizashi laughed. "I'm the only emotionally adept one here, aren't I?"
"W-hwat you do you mean?" you pouted.
"Shouta bet you won't kiss either of us and that I'd have to do it." he smirked.
You looked over your shoulder at Shouta who seemed unbothered by any of the statements being made.
"I'm not as bad as him," you turned back to Hizashi, "am I?"
Shouta scoffed behind you, pulling away and stalking over to the bed where he freely fell backwards on top of the plush mattress.
"No," Hizashi pulled you closer, looking down at you with heavy lids. That same liquid love swirling in his eyes as Shouta's. "He wouldn't have gone in for the kiss at all. That was a very romantic way of telling me to shut my mouth."
Your own words echoed in the your mind. I don't really want to be alone. You wouldn't have to be and even if it wasn't meant to be forever, it felt pretty good for now to be with them. Maybe their hero complex would wear thin and maybe their bathroom habits would put you off but that was a someday problem. For now, falling asleep in their arms, your boys on either side of you felt pretty good. No more cold night, no more hard bruising cages, no more estrangement.
***
That was six months ago and everynight they still held you and you them, every day you still looked into their eyes and found love and every morning Hizashi took way too long to get ready for the day. The apartment now had a much larger bed, it had to be custom framed to fit all three of you comfortably, and the once lavish Chaise lounge was unfortunately given to Nemuri who had more room for it. A writing desk had replaced it, somewhere for the three of you to draft reports of your patrols.
You woke up, Hizashi's arms draped over you loosely. He was a snorer, and with his gift even a shallow breath could resonate down your spine. You blinked hard, clearing the sleep from your eyes and looked around the room, the space Shouta usually occupies was empty and letting the cold in. You lifted your head and looked around finding him slouched over at the writing desk, penning something absent mindedly.
"Hey." you mumbled, sitting up and sliding off the edge of the bed. He didn't respond, keeping his eyes on the page. You stood fully and took a few steps towards him.
"Did Hizashi, uh- tell you?" You asked, clearing your throat awkwardly. "And Toshi?"
"Mm Hmm." He hummed quietly.
"Oh, good." you nodded to yourself. "Is there any plan, anything I can do?"
"No." he grunted shortly. "Just stay out of the wood for now. Actually for you, not travel. Period."
He hadn't looked up at you. His writing got more sloppy, aggressive even. You could see frustration boiling up inside of him and you could tell it was directed at you. That guilt that you'd momentarily forgotten about hit you in the chest leaving a heavy stone plummeting to your gut. You didn't know the full story between Shouta and House Noro, you just knew that he had a run in with them years ago. This must have been a nightmare for him, having them so close to Kaer Yuuei, his safe haven. And it was you who lead them hear no less, unintentionally, which made it worse because he probably felt like he couldn't really be upset with you.
"Sho," you muttered, your voice cracking. That got his attention, he turned around to look at you, his expression hard to read. "I'm sorry. I'm- if I hadn't come here- I'm the weak link here."
Shouta stood and strode towards you, there was a strange sort of power in the way he moved. Like he was trying to cut through a crowd of people with a specific destination in mind. But when his hand reached your shoulders and pulled you close to him he was gentle and you felt as though he was swaddling you in safety.
"I'm sorry." he breathed into your hair. "I didn't mean to sound like that. I- I'm just..scared."
You looked up at him startled. You had been half ready to get the full force of what anger you thought he held towards you, and the fact that you received the exact opposite was jarring enough. However, Shouta flat out admitting he was scared was more perplexing. Over the last six months you realized that Shouta had no problems admitting to a few things, namely all of his annoyance and misunderstanding of social conventions or when he forgot to do or get something. Those were more so things Hizashi seemed to get hung up on and would try to play it cool over. Shouta had more trouble admitting his own emotions, Hizashi said that he was much better at expressing positive emotions more readily, but you'd never really heard thim admit to being upset or scared willingly. Hizashi was like a magician when it came to getting Shouta to talk about his feelings, a very persistent and borderline irritating magician.
"I know." you muttered. " Me too."
He sighed and pressed you against him.
"What have I told you about my life before Kaer Yuuei?"
Shouta wordlessly led you along the tree line until you reached a reasonably level path to the north. Hizashi was limping terribly and barely able to keep up with you, and as much as you hated to admit it, your had only just gotten your ability to move around freely on your own back a handful of days ago and your body wasn't ready to make such a long and furiously paced trek on foot. The three of you ran until the canopies ahead were lit up with morning light and fluttered about in shades of green and gold. You were about twenty or so feet from cresting upon a hill and your knees buckled under your weight and exhaustion.Your already bruised knees hit the ground and this time you were sure the fall tore through your trousers as you felt the familiar bite of skin on stone.
"Sho!" Hizashi called out, stumbling to catch up to you and help you stand. "Sho!"
You could hear Shouta's footsteps above you still trudging forward through the rough gravel. You had begun to hit the slated hills that bled into the mountains.
"Fuck." Hizashi huffed to himself before taking a breath. "Sho!"
This time his name rang out, it wasn't loud enough for any sort of adverse effect to take you other than the slight jump of such a sudden loud noise hitting your ears. It was just loud enough to echo through the surrounding trees, it was loud enough that any other person would have had to really yell to get it out where it looked as though Hizashi had done little more than spoken normally. Shouta tensed and turned around, and you realized he had been completely oblivious to your fall or Hizashi's attempts to call him. Shouta had a thin trail of now dried blood running down the side of his neck that stemmed from one of his ears.
"Sorry." Shouta gruffed as he backtracked. He wrapped a hand around your arm and hauled you onto your feet with a huff and eyed the top of the hill. "Think you can make it to the top, we can set up camp there?"
You steadied yourself and nodded, eyeing his damaged ear. He watched you for a moment before realizing what you were staring at and sucked in a frustrated breath.
'I'm fine." He whispered.
"I'm looking at it when we get up there." you grumbled, forcing your tired legs to carry you just a little further.
Shouta nodded reluctantly and turned to Hizashi as you powered forward, eventually needing to grab onto tall rocks and bushes for help. As you ascended up the hill you could hear the couple muttering to eachother.
"Sho," Hizashi sounded mortified. "your ears."
Shouta cleared his throat and tried to change the subject.
"Give me your arm." He gruffed.
"Sho-"
"I'm fine, Zash." Shouta snapped. "Arm. Please."
You crested the hill first to find a clearing that appeared to be recently used as a campsite. Two cool fire pits sat, covered in ash and soot, but cool and unused for a few days at least. There was a long log that was obviously been dragged in from the other side of the hill and set up as a long seating arrangement next to the pits, the top of it smoothed down into a flat edge. The three of you sat in the clearing for a few minutes completely silent, letting yourselves catch your breaths a stew in your misery. It wasn't until Hizashi tapped your leg to get your attention that you realized he'd been staring at you.
"How's your ears?" He asked, his worried emerald eyes looking up at you. "And your head?"
"F-fine." You blinked, taking a second to back sure you were telling the truth.
"Good." Hizashi looked over at Shouta, who was gingerly wiping the blood from his neck. "D-do you have more of the medicine and water?"
"Yeah, I have more of everything." You started rummaging through the bag you had thrown over your shoulder and handed Hizashi bandages and a water skin. "I'll need to make some disinfectant liquid to drop into his ear though, it'll take a little while."
"Right." Hizahsi nodded, solemnly.
He stood up and walked over to Shouta, grabbing him by the shoulders and sitting him down next to you on the log. It was clear that Shouta wasn't fond of being fussed over but after a rather poignant look from Hizashi he sat still and made no qualms about the fussing. Hizashi wet the bandages and gently blotted away the blood, pausing every so often to survey the damage. It was clear as day to you that he felt responsible for the injury, every movement he made to help Shouta felt like an act of penance.
"Wagon." Shouta suddenly mumbled. "We need a wagon."
"What you need is to rest." Hizashi scolded.
"What?" Shouta asked, louder than you guessed he was aware.
"You. Rest. Now." Hizashi shouted.
"I'm fi-" Shouta began.
"No." Hizashi grabbed Shouta's chin and manhandled his face so they were making eye contact. " No."
It was tense for a moment and you could tell by the look on Shouta's face that Hizashi was being much more intense than he usually was. Shouta blinked hard and then nodded his head the best he could while still caught in Hizashi's grasp. He slid down the log until he was sitting on the ground and leaning back against it and able to lean his head back so he was looking up at the sky. Shouta gave Hizashi a sidelong glance, something akin to puppy dog eyes, you realized as Hizashi rolled his. Hizashi reached forward and gently ran his hand over Shouta's face, closing his eyes as if he were a corpse. Shouta grinned but kept them closed and took steady breaths until you were sure he'd fallen asleep.
"Are you sure about your ears?" Hizashi asked finally, looking away from Shouta.
"Hm?" you looked up at him. "Yeah, Shouta covered my ears."
"Ah." Hizashi nodded to himself. "Idiot. No offense, I'm glad you're okay."
"Is this- his ears- is that what happened to those men?" You asked, staring at the bloodied rag in Hizashi's hand.
"No." He gulped. "Worse. I was yelling right at them, if Sho had been infront of me he'd be lucky if he still had any hearing at all."
"Oh." you swallowed hard. You knew that they were theoretically dangerous men, they had to be with how they described their work, but seeing it in practice made your hand shake. "How bad-"
"Can it get?" Hizashi finished. You nodded. "When I was a kid, my family was traveling from one town to the other. It was spring so a lot of nobles in the area were going to their country homes and the roads were more dangerous than usual. We got caught up in a group of bandits, they were-uh, violent. They hurt my dad...killed him actually, and I- I, uh, well, screamed."
Hizashi sniffed and looked directly at you, guilt swirling in his emerald eyes. "I didn't mean to, but I ruptured the bandit and his horse's organs. Hearts just completely pulverized. Brains filled with blood."
"You were a kid," You thought back to the night you were attacked in your cottage. "you were afraid."
"Yeah." Hizashi smiled sadly, his eyes wandering towards the trees.
The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes not really knowing what to do. You supposed a fire would be a good thing to make and maybe food would also be a god thing to get. You thought of a lot of things that might be a good thing to do but if you were honest you were at a loss for what to do next and you were spending most of your energy on trying not to think about how those men had attempted to burn you alive.
"Where do you think we could get a wagon." Hizashi broke the silence. "I wonder if i could bum one off of that caravan back near town."
You realized he was talking to himself more than he was really talking to you, but the sound of his voice filling in the silence was comforting. It meant you had to think less to distract yourself. He shifted next to you suddenly, his legs shooting out in an awkward splay. His shoulder bumped yours and he huffed, his hand flying to his ribs.
"Logs are not suitable seating." He grumbled. "Trees are hard and don't get less hard if you turn them the other way."
You couldn't help but laugh as he fidgeted uncomfortably like a busy little boy confined to a church pew for the duration of mass. He was obviously pleased with himself because he was grinning too. Eventually he decided to just stand up, rubbing his rear with both hands.
"Staying still, not my forte." He grumbled.
"You haven't." You smirked, watching him roll his eyes at the accusation.
"Not what I meant." He looked back towards the farm for a moment. "Sho said we needed a wagon and I think I might know where we can get one. Will you be okay on your own for a while? Sho's a light sleeper, he'll wake up if you nudge him."
"I- y-you're not in any condition to travel, Hizashi." You stammered, thinking about his wounded leg and more disastrously his broken ribs.
"I've had worse." He grinned at you and winked, he was going to be the death of you.
"No." you huffed, grabbing onto the back of his heavy travel tunic. "You're staying and resting."
"Y/n-"
"No." You pulled him back towards the log. "You're worse than him."
Hizashi slumped back into the log next to you with a pout. "Well, when you put it like that."
"Sleep." you scolded. "Now. You still have valerian running through you, it should be easy."
Hizashi slid down next to Shouta and reluctantly closed his eyes. For a few minutes it was silent, nothing but Shouta and Hizashi's even breaths and the chittering birds filing the clearing. Hizashi leaned over towards you, eyes still closed, and rested his head on the side of your thigh.
"Hey, Y/n?" Hizashi hummed, eyes still closed. "We'll be okay. As soon as we get back home, we'll all be okay."
"That's very optimistic of you." You mumbled, somewhat disinclined to disagree with him now that he was so close- touching you. You tried to shake the sentiment from your head, he was injured and stupid not cute and..attractive.
"Not really." Hizashi chortled. "There's a healer back home, she works miracles."
"Right now, miracles aside, you need sleep." You muttered, you hand instinctively finding its way to the top of his head. You tested out a slow, long stroke down the back of his skull, his head nestling deeper against your thigh. You kept that slow, calming pace for a while, eventually his torso going slack in with sleep against your leg. You gently repositioned him so he was leaning against Shouta, the two of them naturally readjusting so they fit into each other perfectly. A small pang of jealous tugged at your chest, it wasn't of either of them individually but rather of simply what they had. You felt that yearning, something you hadn't felt since you were young and just starting to look at other kids as more than playmates. You felt lonely, in the greater sense of the feeling. You had no one, not the farmer down the way, not his boy who was ever so polite, not the kind lady in the trinket stall ot the market, and not a man to hold you when the night winds blew cold. Even though they were there with you, seeing them together just reminded you that they were together before you, and they would be long after you.
You slumped down to the ground as well, shuffling away from them, feeling awkward being so close. You had no plans to sleep, in fact, quite the opposite, your plan was to keep watch. But your eyes began to droop and every blink brought a sweet moment of rest that turned into minutes of sleep at a time until eventually you were unable to fight it off any longer.
***
A loud crack startled you awake, and you lurched away from the log and into a sitting position.
"Sorry." Shouta was stooping over a fire pit, now glowing with flames and a caved in log, a small grin pulling at his lips. "Didn't mean to wake up our look out."
"Oh-Oh! Sorry!" You blinked. "I-I didn't mean to fall asleep, I just-"
"Was exhausted. It's alright, we're still alive." You could see now that Shouta was struggling with a pile of bloodied fur and a hand full of sharpened sticks. "Hope you're not sick of rabbit."
"I'll take what I can get." You muttered, suddenly aware of how empty you felt after having not eaten since the previous morning. "Remind me when we get to wherever it is we're going, to eat something green."
"There's plenty of grass around."Shouta snorted.
"Not-" you laughed, giving him a pitiful shove. "-I mean something edible to the human race."
"Ah," Shouta hummed. "well we do have that back home, so you're in luck."
Shouta speared chunks of meat onto rough skewers and set them up around the fire.
"So," Shouta began, "how are you holding up?"
"Hmm." you chewed the inside of your cheek. "I'm alive."
"That's good." Shouta smiled awkwardly, his hand reaching up to cup the back of his neck. He looked to the side and you could see a bit of redness around his ear from his view. "I mean- you look- Uh, you look like you're doing good."
"Well compared to what I must have looked like when you found me, I'd wager anyone would look better than me."
"N-no true." Shouta stammered. "Well, I mean- I've seen a lot worse. Not that what you went through wasn't horrible, I just meant-"
"I get it." You placed a hand on his arm. "You guys see a lot of things, some of them I imagine are pretty terrible."
"Yeah." He breathed. "So, your powers are impressive."
"Thanks. I sort of impressed myself last night," You pulled your hand away, realizing it had lingered a little too long. "that was the largest thing I've conjured before."
"It was- impressive." He muttered. "You're impressive."
"Th-thanks." You tried to age what was happening in Shouta's mind. He wasn't a stutterer as long as you'd known him, which admittedly hadn't been long but it was still strange. His ears were heating up, the tips slowly blushing. He was either very suddenly stricken by an infection or... embarrassed?
Shouta stood all of a sudden and cleared his throat.
"What you did! What you did was impressive." He looked away and swallowed. "And I guess you are the one who did it...that makes you... impressive."
"Thanks, again." You swallowed hard. It was as if the two of you were suddenly gulping down copious amounts of saliva between awkward exchanges. That feeling from earlier, the one that sent you back into feeling like a child harbouring their first crush came back, but this time it wasn't jealousy that brought it back but... affection. You panicked. "I-I need to go make sure Hizashi doesn't lose his leg!"
"Right." Shouta huffed and turned away. "I'm going to go find us a cart!"
He started off into the woods, slightly more east of where you'd originally come from. You took a deep breath and screwed your eyes shut, Jesus Christ that was awkward. You turned around to look at Hizashi, you might as well really go check on him. You opened your eyes to find Hizashi, slumped against the log, eyes still closed, the ghost of a smile on his lips. Was he awake? Shit. Did he hear that? You walked towards him slowly, his face not moving a muscle, and gently nudged him. It took two or three jostles but he started awake with a sharp inhale. Good, he was asleep. Or maybe, he is just a good actor.
He blinked away the sleep and rolled his head lazily to look at you, a dopey, sleep filled grin spreading across his lips.
"G'morning, beautiful." He yawned.
"It's too early for this." You mumbled more to yourself. At least with Hizashi he had always been more affectionate with you, it felt less exclusive. "I'm going to take a look at your wounds, alright?"
Hizashi nodded and shoved himself up into a proper sitting position, one where his neck wasn't craned forward and the lower half of his back wasn't on the ground. He looked around as if he was just now noticing where you were.
"Too early for what?" Hizashi asked innocently. "It's midday."
"To have a drink." You muttered. Wine would have made this whole week much more bearable.
"I'm flattered, but I would prefer if our first date weren't in the middle of the woods." He grinned even wider, amusement sparking in his eyes. "And you having to clean my wounds puts somewhat of a damper on things."
You rolled your eyes, now he must surely be making jest.
"It's a good thing I'm a professional healer then, Hizashi." You peeled away the set of bandages you had applied during the night and made to replace them, the edges had been frayed and mud from the trek had soaked through. "It takes more than a little bit of blood to ruin a date."
"I do prefer a lover with a gentle touch." He sang wistfully, watching you gently unravel the bandages.
You lightly jabbed his leg lightly making his jump more from shock of sensation than pain. You moved on to cleaning his leg, dabbing it gently with a wet clean rag.
"You're awfully bold this morning." you scolded him "Especially since Shouta is probably only a few yards away."
"Yes, well, I have to catch up." Hizashi explained, his voice a strange mixture of amusement and earnestness. "Who already had a head start, mind you he completely threw it."
"Catch up? Hizashi, what are you talking about?" You looked up from his leg to find his enthusiastic smile somewhat faltering.
"You know, you didn't scold Sho like that for flirting with you." He murmured.
"F-flirt? Shouta didn't- he wasn't- Oh Hizashi, no-" You scrambled to explain what exactly that exchange between you and him was. So he was awake! That little shit is too good at acting.
Hizashi laughed heartily, his head tossed backwards, painfully bumping the log. He winced but continued to laugh.
"That, that whole thing he just did, is definitely him trying to flirt." Hizashi rubbed the back of his head with a grin plastered across his face.
"I- W-what?" No. It couldn't have been...unless, had it been?
"Yeah, that sort of compliment he paid you, that's flirting for him." He nodded, very matter of factly. "It's very sweet once you get used to it."
"I- but-you- wait, you guys are-" you tried to wrap your mind around not only the knowledge that Shouta had outwardly been flirting with you but that Hizashi was acting so nonchalant about it.
"Open." Hizashi states.
You go pink.
"I-uh, need to get some water." Off you scurried, down the side of the hill with your water skin in your hand, only slightly scolding yourself for leaving hizashi on his own. You wouldn't go far, you told yourself. You made it about halfway down the hill, just barely unable to see the top when you hear Hizashi's voice, clear as day, calling after you. "I'll be back in no time!"
You could have sworn you heard him laugh as you scurried through the trees farther down the hill. When you made it to the bottom of the hill you took a deep breath, you'd been holding it since you'd quite literally ran away from your problem. You rung the empty waterskin through your hands and tried to focus on listening for a stream but the only sound that you could hear aside from your own heartbeat thrumming in your ears was Hizashi's voice repeating the word "open". Open.
"What does that even mean?" you finally blurted out after stewing for long enough. You shocked your head, there was no point in trying to act innocent with yourself, you knew exactly what it meant. "The nerve of those two!"
"They show up," You sat down on a weather worn stump, the trek down the hill proved to be just about all your exhausted body could take at the moment. You gazed back up at the hill, dred filling you knowing that you'll have to climb back up later. "all 'We're your saviors sent from God and also look at our faces. Look at how nice they are'."
You were acting childish now, you knew that, but you felt childish. You hadn't had anyone feel for you that way they had, or at least how they seemed to, not since you parents. Sure, you were an adult woman and had experienced romance before, flings with merchants, a short lived relationship with a young farmer on the other side of town before he found a woman worth marrying, but this, how they made you feel was different. You were stronger than to need anyone, you hadn't needed anyone since you were sixteen. Since you'd been left on your own. Hell, you still didn't need anyone.
But you knew you would be lying to yourself if you didn't admit you really wanted them in your life.
You sat straight up. The moment that though crossed your mind it fell silent, as if it had been turning over every thought it had to find that revelation. Suddenly you could hear the birds, the wind running through the canopy up ahead and the smell of fresh summer flowers wafted around you. You were suddenly very aware of the present.
Despite the last week, you were overcome with calm, a sense of calm you only really get when you feel safe and protected. You'd felt it as a child when you knew your mother was watching out for you when you played carefree in the garden or when your father would hold you curled in his lap when thunder shook the cottage. You'd never felt this sort of safety wrapped in the arms of your lovers before, not that you had ever felt unsafe either. But there was something in you that said 'they are your home'.
The sound of a harsh breath and uneasy whiney startled you right out of your calmed state. You jumped and spun around, every inch of you spring loaded and ready to run or fight if need be. Instead of being met with a villainous rider you were eye to eye with a very familiar horse. He sniffed your hair and nibbled against your tunic before deciding there was nothing edible on you and slowly turned back towards the longer patches of grass along the stream. It was the horse you and Shout had left tethered in the woods, the lead handing loose around his neck with the rope chewed off, slighting dragging across the ground.
"Are you secretly one of them?" you asked the horse suspiciously. He chortled and continued eating, unbothered. "I don't know what you heard, but you will betray nothing. Understood?"
You looked back up the hill and then back towards your stead, and smiled. Upon entering the campsite you were greeted with two emotions, in quick succession. The first was frustration, it was evident on Shouta's grumpy face and less so, but still present on Hizashi's. The next, as they laid eyes on the horse you were riding, was over enthusiastic relief, and in Hizashi's case, joy.
"A sign!" Hizashi blurted.
"I- I'm not even going to disagree." Shouta agreed, a look of appreciative superstition on his face.
"Is there a problem?" You asked, staring between them as they looked up at you.
"We needed a horse." Shouta explained.
"You have a horse." Hizashi further explained.
"Oh." You looked down at the horse and gave him a few appreciative pets. "He found me."
"Already making my life easier." Hizashi sighed, melodramatically. He earned a quick slap in the arm from Shouta that, if you hadn't been watching them, would have gone unnoticed with the speed at which he struck him.
"Ow."Hizashi breathed, pointedly at Shouta.
"Stop, it's weird." Shouta muttered and looked away from both of you.
"It's not." You blurted out. You froze, Shouta froze and most fantastically, Hizashi froze. In a series of extracting slow and choppy movements Hizashi and Shouta turned back towards you, you could see pink swelling at the tip of Shouta's ears and roses blooming in Hizashi's cheeks. Your own face grew warm. Stupid. "I mean, if you- you know, still want- uh"
How do you explain to two fully grown men that you just met a handful of days ago that you would also like to engage in this weird flirting, open relationship thing they had going on with you, but still sound respectable doing it? Thankfully Hizashi interrupted you.
"Who'd you like first?" he crossed his arms and grinned devilishly.
"W-what?" Not thankfully! Quite the opposite! That Cock.
"Zash, that's not-" Shouta started to scold Hizashi.
"What? It's a fair question!" He asked, full well knowing it wasn't.
"Roach." You deadpanned.
"R-Roach? Who-"Hizashi shivered at the word.
"The horse." You informed him, trying to regain your composure. "I've named him Roach since it appears neither of you have given the poor lad a name. He's been very sweet on me."
"W-why that name?" Hizashi had his tongue hanging out of his mouth now, like something that tasted horrendous was hanging off the end and he didn't know what to do with it.
"What do you mean?" You cocked your head to the side, watching him squirm.
"Ignore him." Shouta grinned. "He's as bad as a baby in a thunderstorm when it comes to the creepy crawlies of the world. I have a cart."
"Good for you." you congratulated him.
"Might you loan me your horse so he can pull my cart?" Shouta asked, an air of overdone fromaily painting his words.
"I may consider it." You had already decided of course, but took an extra long pause. "I suppose."
"How gracious." Shouta bowed his head quickly. It was the sort of gesture that might offend a more stringent lord who was so insecure in his throne that the sloppiest of curtsies deserved death. Yet something told you that that wasn't so far off from how he would have normally interacted with royalty.
"So, where is this cart?" You inquired.
"South east of here there's a road not too far off, managed to track down a caravan as they stopped to set up camp before nightfall. They have a cart they're willing to sell if I can be back by tomorrow with a means to pull it." Shouta explained.
"I have your means." You patted Roach fondly, he seemed to sway happily. He really was sweet on you.
"Yes. Would you and your means like to accompany me on a trip then?" Shouta was awfully good at playing along with your oddly light mood. You felt giddy every time he responded playfully, he wasn't as emotional or expressive and Hizashi but he had a small grin across his lips and seemed less put out than normal. He was happy, possibly about the cart, but you hoped, selfishly it was about you.
"Let's go." You tugged the reins to the side so Roach turned sideways and Shout had direct access to his side.
Shouta mounted Roach and in one swift motion pushed you forward a few inches, wrapped his arms around you and took the reins. There was a small part of you that wanted to insist you could take the reins, but that quickly faded when Shouta pressed forward and leaned his chin on top of your shoulder and whispered into your ear. "Lean into me so you down fall, I'll get us there."
You melted back into Shouta, and even though he took off at an uncomfortable trot, you felt that calm again. It was barely ten minutes to the road, the caravan had neatly settled into a makeshift clearing on either side of the road. Some of the carts were utility carts, heavy canvas draped over the top, and others were like small rooms put on wheels. They had rounded wooden roofs and colorful painted doors, flowers, real and painted, decorated the sides.
The members of the caravan were all sorts, some in dresses and fine travel wear and others in eclectic clothing that piled fabric and accessories. For the first time in a few days you were starkly aware what you must have looked like. Then, all of a sudden you thought about what you must look like to Shouta and Hizashi, and you suddenly grew very self conscious. There was a difference between poorly dressed and poorly kempt, and you were the epitome of both at the moment. Not to mention on top of that you were pale and gaunt still and had red, raw, still flaking skin along your limbs and most of our body. You tried to push that thought aside, scolding yourself for allowing such insignificant issues to matter to you whilst you were literally running for your life.
You scanned the camp looking for a cart that seemed unoccupied or had a smaller supply load. Across the road there was a smaller four wheeled cart, a worn canvas cover draped over a set of sort frames, the middle one was broken and the cover dipped there. That was the one, you could feel it.
Shouta entered the camp slowly, nodding occasionally to onlookers until he reached a jolly looking old man who was missing a few teeth but nonetheless smiled like he had the full set. He patted the cart when you arrived like a market salesman who was proud of his stock. He was about to over charge you, you could feel it.
When he did tell you the price you had to hold back from laughing, it was the kind of price you'd give a stuffy rich noble knowing even they would talk that price down. You looked at Shouta, surprised to see him shrug his shoulders and tiredly reach back into the saddlebags and pull out a sizable bag of coins. He looked down at it, nodded and tossed it to the man without batting an eye. There was a moment of silence before Shouta jumped down from Roach and started surveying the cart.
"Do you have any rope?" He asked the man, who had gone pale, just booking into the bag. He nodded and sent his boy off to get as much rope as he could find. While you couldn't be certain how much was in that pouch, you reckon you could live for a few months on it, from just the size. You dismounted Roach and helped Shouta hitch the cart to him. Shouta was reasonably silent throughout the whole thing, the man even feeling a little guilty at one point and trying to give him his change. To which Shouta just replied "I know how much I gave you."
"How much did you give him?" you asked as the two of you rode away on your new card.
"Not really sure." Shouta Shrugged. "Roach here used to belong to a rider from House Noro, so however much he had on him."
"You know," You stretched out across the bottom of the cart, unter what was left of the canopy. "I was about to lecture you on irresponsible spending. But never mind."
Shouta laughed.
You stared up at the sloping canopy and the broken wooden support above you. What parts had snapped had been removed and now one side was broken off right at the top of the cart and the other after about two feet above the cart. You studied the shape of the supports that were intact and by the time you rolled into camp and Hizashi scooted into the small cart next you, you were able to conjure a support in place of the broken one.
"Not bad." Hizashi praised, staring up at it from the floor of the cart, hands behind his head. "But can you maintain it without tiring yourself out?"
"Not sure." you shrugged. "Let's see how long I can go for. After all, you wanted to experiment."
For the next couple of days you switched off with Shouta, driving the cart and you made progress heading north.When you could you'd throw up a support beam, the longest you'd been able to hold it for was an hour, which in all fairness was the longest you'd held any conjuration, let alone one this size. It was slower, the three of you with one horse, than if you'd had the two you started off with but it sure beat walking the whole way. When you weren't staring at the rear end of a horse you were rattling around in the cart with Hizashi who, despite his injuries, was as talkative as ever. He was also, as you noticed with both you and Shouta, unable to keep his hands to himself. Whether he was holding Shouta's hand, leaning against you, curling into either of you at night for warmth, it was something about being in a confined space with him that made you realize how physical he really was. Shouta chuckled when you mentioned it on the last night, saying that he'd be able to find someone to cuddle with in an empty field.
The roads got rockier, the incline steeper and on the last day you pulled the cart over at midday to give Roach a much needed break.
"What's wrong?" Shouta appeared next to you on the driver's bench looking around.
"Nothing, it's just a hard road and Roach could use a break." You rolled your ankles. "I'm getting a little stir crazy, myself."
"Let's go for a walk." Shouta hummed, he'd obviously just woken up. "Let me wake Zash up, and tell him we're going for a look around."
You nodded and hopped off the driver's bench, the road was harder and your ankled pinched at the impact. You rolled them out again and looked around for the first time since you'd crossed over into the mountain paths. Ahead of you the road wound to a fro, deep green trees lining either side, a faint mist clouding the end miles away. Behind you the road was straighter, a mile or so away you could see softer dirt give way to the hard stone before trees swallowed that end as well. It felt strange, looking down a road you'd never seen before, both ends leading to places you didn't quite know. You'd lived in that cottage atop that hill your whole life. The eastern road leading to the farms for miles, the western road leading to the town, and the fork in the road that lead north lead to the river where you would cross a bridge and end up in the neighboring town. On this road, to the south there was a vast world you'd only just scratched the surface of but no longer belonged in, and to the north a new world lay, one that you had no notion of having ever existed before now.
"Having second thought?" Shouta asked behind you. It was that soft voice, the kind one that he'd used when you first met. His hand gently grasped your shoulder and he looked after your gaze down the long road back south. "You can always go back, if you want to."
"I-" you took a breath. You didn't want to go back, not really. You were just unsure about going forward. "There's no place for me back there, Sho."
"Hm." Shouta smiled. "There's always a place for you with us."
"I know." You nodded, your own smiling creeping across your face. "How much farther.
"An hour or so." Shouta wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you in close. Since the day after the barn fire you'd explored getting closer with the boys. Hizashi took to it immediately, leaning against you, placing a hand on your thigh when he'd sit next to you on the driver's bench if Shouta was asleep and couldn't chastise him for sitting up front. Shouta was slower than Hizashi, he noticed that you were only just starting to get comfortable with Hizashi's physical affection in the last day or so and didn't want to push you. It felt sweet when he did though, as if it was extra special.
"I can drive." He murmured into your hair. "Go relax with Zash."
You nodded and climbed in the cart, Hizashi, half awake, throwing his arms around you. He was reduced back to a pile of snores, cuddling into you like a child would a teddy. You settled into him and off the three of you rode, down the hard stone path until
Shouta pulled the reins and guided Roach through a set of trees far enough apart to fit a larger wagon. For a brief moment Shouta disappeared before your eyes, the dense wood swallowing him, but then the world wavered and he was back. Before him stretched a long thin road that led up towards a great grey stone fortress nestled into the side of the mountain.
"Almost home." Shouta announced over his shoulder.
CHAPTER 10
Great stone walls rose before you, far off figures marching to and fro along the tops only stopping to watch the cart rumble up the road. Shouta pulled back on the reins and slowed the cart to a cawl, raising a single hand in greeting. The brush off to the side of the road rustled in different places, a handful of figures stepping out onto the road.
"Shouta Aizawa, Hizashi Yamada and a refugee, Y/n L/n." Shouta stated before even offering a greeting. There was a response of momentary silence and the sound of a quill scraping against parchment, then and gravel filled voice answered.
"Welcome back." A head poked into your view, it was topped with wild blonde hair and an elongated snout, like that of a dog.
You tensed for a second, leaning backwards instinctually. He was like nothing you'd ever seen before, a hybrid between a man and a hound. He smiled incredibly human-like despite his snout and scratched his head awkwardly.
"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." he gruffed. "I'm probably an odd sight, hm?"
Shouta turned and looked at you over his shoulder, his eyes were kind, soft, somewhat worried, but his lips were fighting off a grin. You looked back at the man and nodded awkwardly, you didn't feel up to talking just yet. The reality hit you suddenly, the reality that there were all sorts of gifted folk you couldn't have ever dreamed of, and you were finally at Kaer Yuuie.
"Hound Dog?" Shouta filled the silence. "Call ahead to Chiyo, both of them need medical attention."
Hound Dog looked over at Hizashi, who was still asleep and slouched against you, nodded and darted off. You sat up, trying to see past Shouta's shoulder, to watch him run off. At first he was on two legs then his shoulders drooped and his hands hit the ground, and in this quadrupedal state he took off at an inhuman speed. His booming growl filled the relatively silent woods and was followed by the moaning of great chains and the heavy creaking of metal.
The great gate that sat in the middle of the fortress walls was metal as opposed to the usual heavy wood, and as such forgoed the retractable metal grate before it. It was hoisted up in a series of pulls, pausing for a moment at the end of each so the team pulling it could get a new grip on the chains. You tried to picture how many men it took to open the gate, the image of a long line of stocky guards popped up in your mind.
Shouta spurred the horse forwards, the cart groaning quietly under the increased speed. It was very much to your surprise that upon passing through the gate, which on it's own showed how incredibly thick the walls were, that the team pulling the gate open was made up of about four young men, no older than fifteen or sixteen. One of them had fiery hair and a proud grin, another was blonde with crimson eyes and gritted teeth. The blonde was scolding the redhead over something but he just laughed it off and shouted across to the team on the opposite side of the gate. On that side a boy with messy green hair and freckles was paired with a tall,silver haired boy who wore a mask on the lower half of his face and had more than two arms. You couldn't help but stare for as long as you were able to as the cart rolled by.
You rolled through an area between two sets of walls a few yards apart. There were plain rows of buildings lining the outer wall, all sorts of people passing in and out of them, all wearing thick leather clothing with occasional pieces of chain or plate. Closer to the inner wall there were hay dummies, similar to the ones you'd seen the sparingly few times you'd had to go to the barracks in town and all sorts of platforms and elevated bars that people were jumping around on.
You passed through the second wall, just as thick as the other and here you were greeted by all sorts of activity. Colorful mismatched buildings lined the great wall and roads lined those, then more buildings formed three small city blocks. There were stands that sold all sorts of items, trinkets and jewellery, clothing and blankets, artisanal candles and books. As you traveled down a wide road, straight towards the center of the fortress people parted to the sides of the street, bright hair, glowing eyes, animal features and most noticeably smiles. Everyone one wore finer clothes compared to back home, there were no old women in fraying shawls and dirt covered farmers wearing overalls riddled with patches.
The houses fell away and you passed through a second thick wall. In this layer of the fortress all of the buildings were stone and covered in filigree. The cart came to halt and you slid forward into Shouta who held out his arm and gently steadied you. Your eyes were flying around trying to take it all in, there were four very distinct buildings, three of which were topped with great golden symbols and stood side by side. There was a giant golden mortar and pestle atop one, a giant sword and sheild atop another and the third building was topped with a giant golden tome. The fourth building was the largest of them all and fed into the mountain side. It's steps were golden, and had an arcade of great pillars that bore incredible carvings that swirled up and down their ridged surfaces. There was no large golden symbol affixed to the top of the entrance but you were able to surmise that it must be the house of Kaer Yuuie's Lord.
"Overwhelmed?" Shouta's voice was right next to you, his arm snaking around you back and under yours to help leverage you onto the driving bench.
"I- this place-" you swallow hard and resorted to just nodding. The buildings were taller than any you'd ever seen, the tallest building in the village your cottage bordered on was two stories and an attic but these appeared to be four or five.
"Makes you feel small, hm?" He followed your gaze and looked up. "I felt the same when I first arrived too."
"Aizawa!" A pair of men dressing with sterile white tunics rushed towards your cart from the open doors of the building with the mortar and pestle affixed to it.
Shouta looked down from the tops of the buildings and nodded to them.
"This is Y/n, she's in my charge. Hizashi is in the back and may be in need of a stretcher." He informed them, genturing ot you and throwing a thumb back over his shoulder. "Y/n, these men healers. They'll take you into the hospital, I'll meet you in there."
The two men looked friendly, they had polite smiles and kind eyes and hands outstretched to help you down from the cart. There was a monetary pang of fear in you, the only people you'd interacted with in the last week aside from Shouta and Hizashi had either actively been trying to kill you, or complacent in watching you slowly die before their eyes. You felt Shouta's hand squeeze your shoulder gently and his chin just bushed your shoulder.
"It'll be ok," he whispered softly "I'll be right behind you."
You breathed and nodded, taking the outstretched hands and stumbling off of the tall drivers bench.
The hospital was made of pristine polished stone inside and out, it smelled of tea tree and wormwood. You were led to a wing of the hospital that was made up of several long and wide halls lined with fluffy white cots on wooden frames. Wooden frames holding large sheets of parchment propped up on wheels divided each bed, from one another and you found yourself settled into a cot across from Hizashi who was still groggy from having slept most of the day away.
"Heeey." he greeted lazily, grinning.
"Hi." you gave him a small smile back.
"Hello to the both of you." A very small old woman sang from the doorway, at her side stood Shouta who was carrying a pile of clean clothes. "My name is Chiyo, Chiyo Shuzenji, I'll be your healer."
"This is the miracle healer I was telling you about." Hizashi said, somewhat more awake now.
"H-Hello." You greeted her, sitting up a bit taller against the wall.
"Now," Chiyo waddled over to you, Shouta following in her wake. "let's take a look at you."
Up close she still felt small, her eyes were squinted with age but glimmered under the wavering torchlight in the room. She had deep smile lines and a button nose that twitched as she smiled. She waddled up to your bedside and waved you off when you tried to sit up and swing your legs off the bed to face her.
"Give me your hand dear." she held hers out expectantly. You adhered to the request and reached out our hand, her own barely able to wrap around just one side of yours. He gave it some thought and brought it to her lips, pressing a small kiss against your tender skin.
It felt cool, not a biting cool like the spring you'd bathed in, but a calming cool like a fresh wash cloth pressed to your face when you have a fever. The cool feeling washed over your hand and up along your arm, stretching in waves across your back and chest. You watched amazed as your red peeling skin and blisters began to disappear, fresh pink skin in its wake. The skin on your hand and arm completely healed within moments, and that all over tight soreness of the burns leaving your limb. It felt better than you'd ever believed you could feel again.
A wide smile spread across your face as you watched, not quite sure if you should believe what you were seeing. You looked up at Hizashi who was already grinning at you, a bright pink blush flushing his face as he made eye contact, and noddin as if to confirm that this was real. You felt the tightness of your skin dissipate around your shoulder and upper back as well before the coolness faded. You looked at Shouta, and found him grinning as well, but his eyes were trained on your arm.
"How does that feel?" Chiyo asked, settling back on to a stool at your bedside.
"I-it's-" you struggled for words "it's a miracle."
"Not quite, but thank-you." She smiled kindly. "I won't be able to heal your whole body in one go, from what I felt you have all sorts of bruising and blistering. Possibly two ornthree days of treatment, alright?"
"It beats the weeks I'd have given my patients." you breathed, staring down your hand.
"You also felt exhausted, dear." She gave Shouta an exasperated look. " I'm going to give you something to help you get some sleep, I mean real sleep."
"Th-thank-you." you felt tears welling in your eyes.
Despite yourself you couldn't get the image of Shouta's body out of your mind, even as the two of you held your breath and rushed through the tall grasses of the farm hizashi had given you the directions to. You were meant to be focusing on being silent, being stealthy and blending in with your environment, but if you were honest the sight of Shouta, dripping in water, pants barely covering his manhood and smirking at you was currently running laps around your mind. Everytime the thought would fade away you would rejoice, happy to be able to focus on flattening the grass beneath your feet without making a sound or swatting branches from your face as you stalked through the woods surrounding the farm. But then, despite our best efforts the image would appear. Like an embarrassing memory from childhood that offered you no rest in your sleeping hours.
It felt wrong every time it happened, as if you were violating his privacy. It was his fault to begin with, you tried to reason halfway through the ride to the farm, he had been so blasé about being half clothed around you in the first place. After a certain point, it got so bad you had to start thinking about Hizashi to run a spike of guilt straight through you for even thinking about Shouta.
You shook your head free of the thought, instead looking towards the barn dark as the night sky above on the inside. If he was in there he certainly wasn't betraying himself to the outside world. As you and Shouta drew nearer it grew harder for you unsteady legs to keep up without stumbling over themselves but it also became easier for you to push the devilish thoughts of his body from your mind instead dwell on what lay beyond the barn door. What if Hizashi had been found by the farmer, or worse whoever he had alerted you to run from. What he was gone, already moved one unable to inform Shouta, how sour would the man's mood be then? What if, and you tried not to think about it, but with how panicked Shouta had been earlier you couldn't help yourself. What if you walked in and found blood soaked hay and Hizashi's cold body strewn across the floor. The image of your gnarled conjured blade sticking out from his chest appeared in your mind, after all it was the first time you'd seen a man freshly killed. Guilt rose up inside of you, and your steps faltered.
As if he'd been watching you Shouta paused when you did and looked back, his heavy brows knit together. He didn't dare say anything, not make any more noise then he had to, but his eyes asked the questions his lips could not. He was...worried.
You shocked your head and pointed to your foot as if allude having stepped in or on something then waved him off. He nodded, turned back towards the barn and started forward again. You shook the image from your mind, wishing whole heartedly that your mind would go back to bringing up your previous inappropriate thought instead, but the image that flashed across your mind made your stomach drop each time. That purple, gnarled blade running straight through Hizashi's chest, blood pooling around him soaking hay and staining raw wooden floors.
You swallowed hard and pushed forwards, trying to focus one your steps and the aches in your legs instead of what lay ahead for you. You did such a good job at focusing on your foot steps that you ran right into Shouta when he stopped in front of the barn's outer wall. He fell forward onto his knees from his crouching position, his arms reaching sideways and catching you before you toppled directly on top of him. You straightened yourself out and leaned against the barn wall, partially to obscure yourself from prying eyes and to blend in and also to help your weakened knees as you fought off the butterflies that were swarming the insides of your stomach. You tried to tell yourself the butterflies were nerves from almost toppling over Shouta and possibly making horrendous amounts of noise in the process but a small part of you knew it was simply his touch.
Shouta crept forward and waved you forwards with him, moving slow enough that you were able to keep quiet. You had no doubt that if you hadn't been with him he would have been ten times as fast and nearly silent. He held his hand up over his shoulder to stop you and turned just enough so you could see his mouth mimic the word "wait."
You did as you were told, that dread filled anticipation to see what shape Hizashi would be in if he was even still here, growing every second. Shouta inched forward until he could slide a hand in between the gap in the large barn doors, that despite their size swayed ever so slightly in the wind. In one smooth motion Shouta creaked open the door, looked inside then disappeared into the dark interior, leaving you alone in the field under the moonlight. The longer it took Shouta to reappear the more the cold seemed to bother you and the more exposed you felt.
You waited for what felt like ages, you had to lean heavily against the barn to give your legs a modicum of a break, creeping slower than a snail towards the door, wishing you could dive in after Shouta to escape the wide open field before you. Fighting that urge, you compromised and placed your ear against the wall to see if you could hear anything of the going ons inside the barn. At first there was nothing but the sound of your own breath filling your lungs and the dull thumps of your heart but then you heard some low whisperings. You couldn't be sure with how quiet it was but you were sure you could hear Hizashi murmuring something but it was cut short with a moan, it was a surprise sort of moan that sounded more like a subdued yelp.
The barn door squeaked open wider and Shouta's pale face appeared. You were facing him, ear pressed against the wall, so you smiled like a kid who'd gotten caught searching for sweets. He grinned and waved you in then disappeared again. You followed suit, slipping in before the door fell closed. The barn was even darker than outside, the only place moonlight was able to touch was the upper loft that held two windows on either end. You tried to blink away some of the darkness, hoping your eyes would define their human nature and suddenly be able to see in the pitch darkness. There was no need as a dull gold glow flared up in the middle of the barn, the source a small shattered lantern on the ground surrounded by walls of hay bales.
In the dim glow you could see Hizashi who was propped up against one of the bales and Shouta who was waving out a flint stick and scurrying towards the blond. You slowly pulled the barn door shut behind you trying to go slow enough that there wasn't enough force on the hinged to make them creak.
"Why didn't you tell me?" You heard Shouta huff quietly, trying to keep his volume down as his frustration increased.
"Because it's not a cause for worry, Sho." Hizashi whispered back. He sounded tired and relieved at the same time, as if he'd just been woken up.
You turned back around a crept forwards this time not taking quite as much care in your steps as you did out in the field. As you strode into the lantern light you could see what Shouta was upset about, Hizashi's leg was propped up on an overturned bucket and a set of bandages were sloppily wrapped around his shin.
"I'm going to worry." Shouta grumbled, his hands settling on both of Hizashi's shoulders. There was a pause and Hizashi opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by Shouta kissing him none too gently. Hizashi smiled into the kiss and buried his hands into Shouta's wild waves, closing his eyes. When the kiss finally broke the two men learnt into one another, foreheads pressed together, eyes closed, just breathing each other in.
"If I had said anything you wouldn't have waited and the farmer's been out there all day. He'd have seen you." Hizashi mumbled.
Shouta pulled away and opened his eyes, sending a somewhat frustrated glance at you. You shrugged and raised your eyebrows back, mouthing "told you."
"Let me see your leg." you smiled at Hizashi and knelt down next to his raised foot. "What happened?"
"Crossbow. It's just a graze but it's deep. Those Northern Dales Mercs are no joke, they hit me from over 50 yards away." Hizashi pulled his arm forward showing off a tear in his sleeve that was rimmed with dry blood. "This one's just a scratch."
You stopped your unravelling of Hizashi's terrible bandage job and pulled at the sides of the whole to confirm it was just a scratch. It was somewhat deeper than what the average man would call 'just a scratch' but it was scabbed over and there wasn't too much red around it so you had some time before you had to worry about infection.
"Sho?" Hizashi hissed as you pulled at the layer of bandage directly pressed to his skin. Shouta settled down next to him, lazily wrapping his arm around Hizashi. "The Northern Dales, they're either in league with House Noro or they are House Noro."
"W-what?" Shouta's face dropped, his whole body going frigid.
"I saw the crests on their horses." Hizashi explained, his free hand clasping over Shouta's. "Hey, it'll be al-"
"Why didn't you put that in the letter?" Shouta snapped, louder than even Hizasi had dared to get.
"Because you wouldn't have waited!" Now Hizashi was bordering on too loud.
Shouta scoffed and looked away, swallowing hard.
"W-who's House Noro?" You asked after an excruciating moment of silence. You didn't dare look up from Hizashi's leg lest you catch whatever cold glare must have been brewing in Shouta's eyes.
You unscrewed the top of your water skin and rustled around in your side bag for some of the spare bandages Hizashi had given you. You'd left the horse leashed in the forest surrounding the farmer's hand with a long tether, which meant you had to take as much supplies as you could care. You prioritized healing supplies while Shouta prioritizes food and drink. You were happy you'd brought the bag of herbs you'd collected in the marshes. You wetted a folded section of bandage and began blotting away at Hizashi's leg, trying to break through some dried blood and grime to get a better look at what the wound itself looked like.
"It's a very old and very wealthy family from the south." Hizashi started, attempting to ignore what was happening on his leg. He was in far too much pain for this to be as mild of a wound as he claimed. "Generations ago an entire branch of their family was apparently slaughtered by a coven of witches and sorcerers. Since then they've pledged their numbers and blades to eradicating people like us."
"They hunt us down and slaughter us because they can't reconcile that their family had bad blood with every neighboring town and clan and got themselves killed." Shouta growled, he was still looking away. "If you're lucky they'll kill you before they light you on fire."
Your hands froze millimeters away from hizashi's leg as fear gripped your heart. You had been lucky, you ralized two days into your time in the cage, that your town didn;t have a witch burning spire like many in the area did, not the resources to build one. It was a common sentence, to burn at the stake for witchcraft, and although the sun blistered your skin and made your whole body raw and red, the thought of literally burning to death terrified you. At least by the second night in the cage you had grown used to the hunger and started to feel less and less.
"Sho!" Hizashi scolded. He looked to you, one of his comforting smiles on his exhausted face. He was pale and Shouta and the purple blooming in the hollows around his eyes conveyed more than just lost sleep.
"What? She needs to know if they're here!" Shouta stood up suddenly, jostling Hizashi to the side who let out a strangled yelp. "Zash!"
"I'm fine." Hizashi breathed. His eyes were screwed shut and he tried, ever so gingerly to straighten himself up, his hand instinctively going to his side. Ah, the culprit. You shuffled towards his torso and pulled away his hand, much to his dismay. He tried to keep it clasped firmly down but Shouta peeled his fingers away and held both of his hands in vice grips.
"I need to take a peak." you gave Hizashi an apologetic smile as you unlaced the heavy leather outer tunic and rolled up the lighter cotton undershirt. You could see Hizashi trying to hide a smirk, which was an astounding feat, you realized, once you caught a glimpse of his ribcage. The left side of his ribcage was bruised to hell, broken blood vessels and murky patches of blue and black splattered his skin.
"Fuck, Zash." Shouta breathed.
In response Hizashi gave him an awkward grin and a set of big doe eyes.
"Something's definitely broken." You hummed, prodding any area that looked a little more recessed than it should be, earning a muffled yelp from Hizashi. "What did you do? Don't tell me a crossbow 'grazed' you again or I'm going you smack you."
"It did!" Hizashi said indignantly. "Then I fell- off my horse- and she gave a few farewell kicks to the ribcage."
"You got stomped on by your horse?" Shouta questioned, his frustration level rising.
"Not good with animals." Hizashi chuckled, groaning as he jostled his broken bones. "Kicked, not stomped."
Shouta let go of hizashi's hands and sat back against the hay bale and dropped his face into his hands, sighing loudly.
"How have you lived this long?" He growled into his palms.
Hizashi laughed and started listing off what you soon found out were all the silly ways Shouta had injured himself. You watched them squabble for a moment, Hizashi still as animated as ever despite his injury and Shouta smiling into his once despair filled hands. You took this brief moment of distraction to go back to working on Hizashi's leg, there was nothing you could do about the rib but possibly make some tea with the white flowers you have picked. You'd do that after you cleaned his leg.
True to his word, Hizashi's leg was grazed quite heavily but it hadn;t been as bad as you feared. Should it have been sewn shut? Probably but you didn't have anything to do with that so you'd have to settle for some tight bandages. One it was clean you draped some clean bandage over it to keep dirt and bugs away and rustled through your bag of herbs for the dark leaves. It was only once you had them in hand you realized that you had nothing to grind them up with. You huffed in annoyance and sat down to think.
By this point Hizashi had run out of injuries to shame Shouta with and Shouta had been quelmed by the wavering fire light and Hizashi's soothing ramblings about someone back home. Hizashi sat straight back on the hay while Shouta slid closer and closer towards Hizashi's shoulder under his cheek squished against it and you were sure he was sleeping. Eventually Hizashi quieted once he'd noticed Shouta was snoring softly.
"Did he sleep at all?" Hizashi asked, his own voice tired.
"No." you shocked your head. "Pretty sure he wandered around the woods all night."
"Sounds like him." Hizashi snorted softly.
"You're both terrible." you muttered, looking down frustrated at the leaves in your hands trying to brainstorm a way for this to work.
"What's eating you?" Hizashi looked down at your hands.
"I need to grind these but short of doing back outside to go looking for two big rocks I've got nothing to do it with."
"Conjure something then." Hizashi shrugged. "Unless that's not how it works. Can you only summon blades?"
"N-no- I-," You hadn't tried summoning anything since you- since you killed a man. The image of him lying on the ground of your home, blood pooling from a wound caused by your blade making you sick to your stomach. "I haven't tried since..."
You trailed off not knowing how to explain yourself. Hizashi had just face death and no doubt, you were realizing face death regularly. The idea that you had been the one dealing out the death and not being threatened by it and yet you were rendered useless by the thought would have seemed ludicrous.
"Sorry," Hizashi muttered. "it must be hard. Thinking about it, I mean. I can see it in your eyes when you disappear into your mind sometimes."
"Yeah," you breathed, a lump forming in your throat. "I, uh, I haven't been able to conjure anything since then. It's just sort of...gone."
You had tried to conjure a few things in the cage but nothing ever formed but waves of intense guilt as the image of the dead man flooded your mind.
"That man," Hizashi shifted so he was sitting up straighter, much to Shouta's displeasure who grumbled fiercely in his sleep. "the one who died, he hurt you didn't he?"
"I- How-" You looked up at hizashi, tears falling now. "How did-?"
"That farmer, down the hill from you, he found a knife in his hand. He said it had blood on it." hizashi brushed the side of his face where the scratch from the man's knife was scabbed over on yours. "And the bruising on your arm."
"He didn't, not enough to warrant what I did!" You looked away from him shaking your head. You were trying to stay quiet, to stop the fear and guilt that was rising in your chest from spilling over but your voice cracked and you heard it echo through the barn.
Shoutas eyes opened and he sat up, alert. It took him a moment to register where he was and what was happening before he relaxed and slipped back against the hay bale.
"He would have." Hizashi's voice was low but clear, it was cooler than you'd ever heard it.
Shouta looked between the two of you and stood. He walked towards you and knelt down, his hands gently gripping each of your shoulders.
"What you did- had to do," Shouta's voice was soft and warm and made you want to believe what he was saying "doesn't make you a monster, Y/n."
You fell from your crouch to your knees, unable to hold yourself up any longer. You fell into Shouta, your tears water staining his tunic.
"Can you do something for me?" Shouta asked, his hands wrapping around your shoulders. You nodded into his chest not trusting your voice. "Think back to that night. When you opened the door, what did you see?"
You closed your eyes and breathed, trying to take yourself back. It was hazy, the adrenaline of the moment distorting your memories. "I-I can't."
"What were you doing before?"
"Cooking. I was making dinner." You sniffed.
"What did it smell like?" Shouta asked.
"Chicken broth. Roasting Vegetables." As you spoke you could imagine the smells flooding your sense and suddenly you were back there. You were back in your cottage, candles warming the interior with a golden glow, rain pattering away at the roof.
"You heard a knock."
A knock came at the door, once politely then again aggressively. You strode over, and opened it.
"What next, Y/n?"
"I-I answered it." You mumbled, barely there. "I answered it and he was there."
"What did he look like?" Shouta asked quietly.
"He was big, tall, intimidating. He was rich, I could see it in his clothes. They were expensive, velvet with fur." you mumbled as you picture him in your mind.
"Keep going." It was a soft request whispered into your hair.
"He had a crest embroidered into his cloak."
"A crest?" Shouta's head lifted from yours. "What did it look like?"
"Silver," you screwed your eyes shut even tighter and willed your mind to recall the crest. The crest stared you right in the face, shimmering in the candlelight as if it were real metal. "A hound, with something in its mouth, something black. There were twin blades crossed behind it, like a coat of arms."
You got no response, only an uneasy breath above your head. You opened your eyes, afraid you'd said something wrong. Shouta pulled away from you and placed a hand one either side of your face.
"Y/n, listen to me." Shouta looked directly into your eyes with a fierceness that forbade you from looking away. "That man would have hurt you, he was there to hurt you, then kill you."
"Y-you can't know-"
"He's a witch hunter, Y/n. That crest is of House Noro and that man wouldn't have just shown up on your doorstep unless he was there to kill you."
CHAPTER 8
"Th-then why didn't the others kill me, why did they drag me to the church?" you whimpered.
"It's hard to explain. It's a deep tradition in their family, a belief that only those of the main family branch can kill a practitioner of the occult." Shotua explained, letting off the sides of your face and grabbing your clenched hands instead. "They believe we reincarnate into another magic user when we die, that is if we aren't killed properly. While anyone can kill our mortal flesh, only a member of the main family bloodline can kill our souls."
"Is that true?" Your eyes grew with fear.
"No.' Hizashi chimed in. "We're human, Y/n."
"You're human." Shouta whispered to you. "You're not a monster, not on the way they think you are, not in the way that bastard clergyman condemned you to be and not in the way you think you are. You're human."
"I-he- he would have killed me." you told yourself. "He would have killed me."
It felt good, like you'd been freed from a weight beyond your capacity to carry. You told yourself again and again until you started to really believe it. Until anger burgeoned in your chest and you felt the familiar sensation of magic flaring from your fingertips. You looked down at your hands and saw a pale purple glow about them, as if the power had been waiting beneath your skin's surface for you to call upon it this whole time. It felt as if there had been a wall between you and your magic and it had suddenly come crashing down and now you could command it freely.
"There it is." Hizashi whispered.
You looked at him and suddenly realized that you'd left his leg half treated, and just like that the glow about your hands fizzled out.
"You're leg!" You squeaked. "I forgot what I was doing!"
"It's my fault," Hizashi laughed openly "I distracted you."
You looked at the pile of herbs you'd dropped in your lap, wiping the crusted tears from the corners of your eyes when an idea sparked in your mind. You pictured a stone bowl about the size of your hand and took a deep breath, willing the bowl to form in your hand from the rounded bottom to the curved lip. Sure enough a semi-translucent purple hued bowl appeared in your cupped palms, it was even cold against your palm like stone. That was new, you'd never been able to create anything with a different temperature than your own body before. You smiled to yourself, the bowl feeling more like a trophy then a hunk of stone to grind herbs in. Next you envisioned a pestle and willed it to appear in your other hand, it took you a little longer this time since you already have one item out but you finally managed to solidify the pair of items into existence.
"Well, shit." Shouta breathed next to you. "That's useful."
"Occasionally." you smiled at him.
"Can you, like, make bigger things?" Hizashi asked, leaning forward to get a better look.
"I'm not sure." You shrugged. "The largest item I made was a sword."
"Right." Hizasih nodded. "We'll need to experiment later, then."
"Experiment?" You asked to look up at him, he'd never looked so thoughtful.
"We are teachers, remember?" Shouta reminded you as he scooted back towards Hizashi to lean against him.
You got to work cleaning and disinfecting Hizashi's leg with the dark leaf ground up in some water to make a thin salve. He groaned and complained nearly the whole time, although you could tell it was more for dramatic flare than him not being able to handle the poking a prodding you were doing. You were learning very quickly that Hizashi liked to alleviate tension, even when the tension was surrounding him being injured. There were no pity parties allowed on his behalf, that was for sure.
"How's the pain?" You yawned as you finished bandaging Hizashi's leg. YOur eyes were beginning to burn with tiredness and your limbs felt heavy and slowed.
"I'll manage," Hizahsi murmured, his own eyelids drooping "get some sleep."
"That rib must be hurting something awful, Hizashi. Let me make you something."
He didn't put up too much of a fight, instead just burrowed farther into Shouta's shoulder and watched you conjure up a cup to bowl tea in. You plucked some of the white flowers from your medicine bundle and tossed them into the cut with water and let it slowly boil over what little heat the lantern gave. Eventually you ended up with a pain numbing tea, it was weaker than usual as you'd normally steep it for a few days until the tea was thicker like juice but this would at least take the edge off.
You handed the cup to Hizashi who shimmied into a less diagonal sitting position and sipped away at it until the tea cooled and became easier to drink. By this point you were exceptionally exhausted and found the hay bales looking relatively inviting, so you spread out the cloak Shouta discarded off to the side atop a bale of hay and laid down. Your eyes closed before you were fully settled in, and calm, dreamless sleep found you.
***
The barn was peaceful compared to sleeping outdoors, there were less bugs buzzing around, less branched snapping off in the distance and the hay was ten times more comfortable than a root sticking into Shouta back. While he didn't like the idea of staying somewhere another person frequented, he had to admit that just for tonight he was happy to be inside. Beside him Hizashi thumbed the handle of the spectral cup in his hand until it blinked from existence. Across the gap in hay bales from the pair you had begun to snore softly, little puffs of breath catching some stray hairs and blowing them around.
Shouta couldn't help but notice how much healthier you were beginning to look, the women he met a week ago was a shell of who he saw sleeping across from him. Life had returned to not only your skin and your body as it regained its strength but to your eyes. He'd been entirely unsettled about what he saw reflected back to him in your eyes. He saw a deep reassignment to the end, something he'd devoted his life to making sure he'd never feel nor allow anyone to feel again. It was pity that made him so set on saving you when Hizashi wasn't sure taking out the town's entire law force was worth the risk. Pity and empathy. He'd not been in such a different circumstance when Hizashi had found him in the stocks in Tartarus, courtesy of House Noro, all those years ago.
However, since having rescued you, Shouta found himself feeling less and less pity and more genuine fondness for you. He was a tough person to win the affections of, he'd kept it that way on purpose, knowing full well that his career was dangerous and put him and his partner in a certain amount of regularly endured mortal peril. He refused to grow too fond of others unless they weasled their way into his life like Hizashi had. Yet, despite that, he felt an undeniable attraction to you, one that he couldn't in his right mide indulge in. Especially under the circumstances of your meeting and current relationship, it would be amorale. And yet, in spite of everything he knew was right or wrong and had worked so hard to maintain, when Hizashi had let out the warning wail the other day in the woods, you were one of his first thoughts.
"You're creeping me out." Hizashi mumbled from Shouta's shoulder.
"Hm?" Shouta looked down at Hizashi who was looking back up at him, and crooked, sleepy, yet entertained grin pulling at his lips. Shouta laced his fingers through Hizashi and gave a small squeeze. "What do you mean?"
"You're staring." Hizashi informed him.
"I-I'm not staring."Shouta grumbled.
"Do you- like her?" Hizashi adjusted his position so his chin was resting atop Shouta's shoulder.
"She's uh- very kind." Shouta looked anywhere but at you or Hizashi.
"She put you in your place didn't she?" Shotu could feel the grin on Hizashi's face like it was a flame heating the side of his face.
"Yeah," Shouta laughed. "she's the one who made me wait for nightfall."
"You like-like her, don't you?" Hizashi's grin faltered, only a fraction.
Shouta cursed under his breath and looked at Hizashi who he could tell knew the answer to that question better than Shouta probably did himself. He wasn't sure what he was feeling, and even if he was he didn't know if it was right to feel it.
"Do you-" Hizashi pulled back, "still like-"
"Zash, I love you!" Shouta asserted a little too loudly, reaching to cup Hizashi's face with his hand.
"Good." Hizashi smiled, leaning into Shouta's hand. After a beat he continued, shooting you a somewhat nefarious glance. "She does clean up pretty well."
"I feel like it's inappropriate to be checking out our charge, Zash." Shouta sighed, attempting to seem disappointed in his partner's comment.
Shouta had known what it really meant, it was more than a simple observation of your attractiveness. It was a statement of mutual attraction and a declaration of acceptance of Shouta's feelings and urges.
"You said something first." Hizashi mumbled, his speech beginning to slur with sleep. "And you bathed with her!"
***
It couldn't have yet been morning when warm golden light hit your eyes and pulled you from your slumber. It felt as though you'd only just fallen asleep and your entire body screamed for more. You almost gave in until you noticed how hot the air had become and that that heat came in flickering waves and the arid smell of burning smoke washed over you. You sat straight up, your eyes flying open as flames wafted towards you from the far end of the barn.You looked panicked at the lantern that sat in between you and the boys who were still asleep, it had been extinguished and sat dark. This wasn't a fire of your party's making you realize with a sickening feeling.
You stumbled off of the hay bale bruising your knees painfully as you landed on them, grabbing fistfulls of items as you went. You scrambled over to Shouta and shook him awake. In an instant he was alert and assessing the situation,then on his feet hauling Hizashi up in the next. With a pained yelp Hizashi awoke, and attempted to stumble along with Shouta, the tea you had given him still coursing through his system keeping him slowed and groggy.
"The door!" Shouta shouted as you tried to help him carry Hizash's weight. You nodded and dashed toward the door, grabbing onto the edge and shoving it down it's track as hard as you could. In the stark contrast between the bright firefly light of the barn and the cool darkness of the outside world, you almost missed the line of men nestled in the grass as your eyes adjusted.
Time slowed for a split second and you were suddenly hideously aware of what the cause of the fire had been. You skidded to a halt as a voice in front of you shouted and, not but a sliver of a second, later a volley of arrows were hissing through the air towards you. Without thinking you threw up your hands, willing them to be enough against the onslaught. A bright purple light erupted before you, and for a stretch of time you saw nothing else. Shouta stopped in his tracks next to you, the dry loose soil beneath him puffing up into trailing clouds. He stared forward, just jaw slack as he took in the sight before him.
A great shield had emerged from your hands and planted itself firmly in the dirt, an eagle emblazoned across the front with its wings spread proudly. The shield must have been six feet wide and ten feet tall, arrows littered the ground in front of it, broken and chipped. Everything stood still, no one quite knew what to make out of what they were seeing, including yourself. You knew it was yours, you could feel that. There was a dull sense of the impact of arrows against your palms as if the shield was an extension of your outstretched hands.
"Drop it." Hizashi ordered, taking a deep breath.
Shouta jumped into action and wrapped his arms around your head and Hizashi threw himself forward onto uneasy legs. You did as he ordered and dropped the great shield. As soon as it blinked away the ground began to tremble and a high pitched wail shattered the wall of sound the crackling and dull growls of the fire had made. You squeezed your eyes shut, everything blurring and shaking, threatening to make you sick. And then silence, or rather the closest thing to it you could get with the ringing in your ears.
Shouta started shoving you sideways towards the forest and despite how off balance you felt you complied and joined him in the mad dash to the tree line, stopping to look back only when you'd made it under the canopies. Behind you the line of well armed men were in various stages of distress, some were on their knees and vomiting and others were clutching their ears and trying not to fall over. None, however, were even remotely concerned with you as you fled.
You were gripping onto Shouta's waist for your life as he rode full force northward, the horse's thundering footsteps filling your ears. You had been riding for a long while, the poor horse beneath you was close to being spent and you could tell as its speed faltered. Shouta kept riding until the horse quite indignantly refused to go any faster than a walk. You'd wound up in a thin strip of marshland with the occasional deeply hunched whomping willow and cluster of waterlogged bushes. The sky was darkening, the blue of the afternoon had long since given way to the golds and oranges of sunsets and was now fading into a deep purple. Your legs were numb, ghost vibrations of horse hoof beats still rolling through your hips and lower back.
Shouta stopped under an especially distorted tree with roots so large and gnarled that you could curl up into the curve of one and disappear if you so pleased. He jumped down, starting a pace back and forth through the murky ground before realizing you were having trouble dismounting on your own. Without a word he grabbed you by the waist none too gently and lifted you down, placing you on your feet in the mud with a squelch. You wrinkled your nose at the sound and the feeling of the bud sinking into the boots Hizashi had gone back into town to get you a day or so ago.
Shouta, wordlessly unloaded the travel bags and the bedroll from the horse and tossed them into a pile against the thick roots of the tree. Everything about the way Shouta was moving put you on edge, sure you'd seen him somewhat annoyed or frustrated over the last five days but you'd only ever seen a glimmer of emotion compared to this. This scale of energy was comparable to Hizashi's jittering nature, his movements were sporadic and uncoordinated. Eventually, having spent way too long on a buckle, Shouta growled in frustration and kicked a long dead stump, shattering the fragile wood. He paused and took a deep breath before turning to you.
"Sorry." He muttered. It was the first thing he had said since "we have to go".
"S'okay." you muttered back, settling down on one of the tree roots. You patted a space beside you and looked back at him. "Sit?"
Shouta huffed and looked at where your hand was patting for a moment but shook his head. He paced again, muttering the occasion word to himself. "You know how to start a fire?"
"Y-yeah." You stammered.
"Good. I'll be back." Shota started walking away, back towards the south from whence you came. You thought about calling after him but thought better of it. Perhaps if it were Hizashi you would have but there was something in the way that Shouta had been furiously trying to stay calm that worried you, that scared you. You watched him fade into the distance until all of a sudden he was gone, disappearing with the blink of an eye into the tree line.
It took you a while to find dry enough wood to make a reasonably sized fire for warmth but you got one going on a small patch of dry land where you and the exhausted horse settled down. The horse tucked its legs under itself and went straight to sleep while you decided to take a look around once the feeling had fully returned to your legs. The marshland was vast to the north but to the south, east and west you could see trees. All sorts of plants poked out of the water nearby, many of which were familiar to you. There were small clusters of pink and white flowers on tall thin stems for pain, thick green gel-filled leaves for burns, and dark green aromatic leaves for disinfecting and cleaning wounds. You collected bunches of each and wandered back to the fire, settling in and spending the rest of your waking hours cleaning bugs from your finds.
You awoke to the smell of cooking meat and the sizzle of moisture hitting the fire. Your eyes flew open and just as panic gave way to alertness your eyes met Shouta's across the now sizable flames and you relaxed.
"Sorry." he gruffed. He was calmer now. "I would have woken you when I got back but you looked like you needed the rest."
"When did you get back?" You yawned looking up at the pale pink sky: the sun was just beginning to rise.
"An hour or so ago." he shrugged. Shouta's eyes were encircled by deep hollows and his shoulders hung lower than usual. It was as easy to see that the man hadn't slept at all through the night as it was to read the words 'I'm exhausted' scrawled across a page.
"You can sleep if you want, I can stay up and keep an eye out." You offered, unfurling from your bedroll as the day's heat already began to swell. If you had the courage you would have asked about Hizashi but there was something unsettling about the calm that Shouta was experiencing right now, as if it were the type of calm that warranted a storm.
"It's alright," Shouta grumbled "we'll eat then head out. I know where to find Hizashi."
"R-really? Is he alright?" you straighten right up at that news. As much as the events of yesterday had provided you with an inescapable and harsh reminder of reality, you had grown fond of the men whose charge you found yourself in.
"I-" Shouta sighed and clenched his fist. "I believe so, he didn't indicate if he was injured."
"He didn't indicate- wait, how did you hear from him?"
"We have a system when we travel, if we get separated we go to the nearest crossroads with a signpost and leave instructions on how to find wherever we're held up." Shouta explained, holding a folded piece of paper to you.
You reached for it stopping to look at his hand, poorly wrapped in torn fabric no doubt from a cloak or tunic.
"Your hand-"
"S'fine." Shouta waved you off.
"Let me tend to it." You looked up, into his eyes. "I'm the one who-"
"I started you, it's fine. It's good that you were prepared." Shouta looked away, awkwardly
"Shouta," you huffed "I'm cleaning it and bandaging it properly before you die from flesh eating disease!"
Shouta smirked, it was a painfully small twitch of the lips, but you saw it. "That's dramatic."
"I've been a healer since I was fourteen," You scold him "I know wounds."
"Fine." He sniffed, still holding out the letter. You took it, at the same time gently grabbing hold of his hand.
It was somewhat cryptic, but you could tell Hizashi had written it in a hurry because it didn't take you very long to pick up on the pattern. The last line of instructions ordered you only to approach the barn he was hiding away in at night so as to not alert the farmer. You looked up at Shouta and shook your head.
"What?" He asked, wrinkling his nose as he looked at his hand as you unwrapped his haphazard bandage job.
"He said to wait until nightfall." You raised your eyebrow at him.
"how-" he looked away "and?"
"And you were just going to ignore that order, weren't you?"
Shouta gritted his teeth, he was fighting some kind of expression off. He didn't want to betray how he was truly feeling but you could gather it all on your own.
"He's precious to you." you smiled, you hoped it was a genuine, kind smile. One that made him feel warm and understood. You really hoped it didn't look cruel or taunting, that would be the opposite of what you were going for. You reached for the bag of supplies he'd left next to your bedroll. There you grabbed a water skin and bandages and began blotting away at his hand with clean water.
Shouta looked up at you, surprise clear as day across his face. Bright red roses bloomed in his cheeks and like a child being teased he stammered and looked down at his inturned feet.
"W-well, I- I guess." he grumbled, trying to fold his arms but failing to do so as you held his hand in place. Taking a deep breath he looked up at you and sighed. "Yes, yes he is. I-I love him."
There was a moment where the two of you looked at each other and a silent exchange happened. One in which you suddenly understood the extent of Hizashi and Shouta's relationship, and that their love runs deeper than that of friends or even brothers in arms. You see a yearning in Shouta that is not only for love but to be with the one he loves, a yearning so strong and absolute that he must already have found that person. You keep smiling at Shouta, this time you're sure it's kind and warm because he can't help but smile back. It's a small sheepish smile and it's plagued with uncertainty and embarrassment, but nonetheless, it's there. In this moment of silent exchange, you feel as though Shouta understands where you stand, just as you were beginning to understand yourself. You, whether you liked it or not, were with them now.
"Right." Shouta broke the silence and plucked a skewer of meat from around the fire. "H-here."
"Still raw." You smirked. "I'm almost done."
You and Shouta sat in silence, him fidgeting with a small folded up map from one of the pouches on his belt.
"We're not going until nightfall, Shouta." You chided him as you watched him stubbornly trying to trace out a path with his free hand.
He stopped and groaned childishly. "What if he's hurt?"
"If he were really hurt he'd have told you knowing full well that there would be hell to pay once you found him if he hadn't." You reasoned, trying to crush some of that dark green leaf between your fingers to make a topical liquid.
This time Shouta's groan was less of an annoyed groan and more of an accepting grunt. He knew you were right and he also knew that Hizashi was capable of taking care of himself, he just needed to keep reminding himself of that. Shouta flipped the map over a leaned back fully against the tree.
"I'm going to go mad sitting here all day." He grumbled to himself.
You smiled to yourself as you rubbed the crushed edge of the leaf against his wound, so he wasn't so stubborn after all. You suddenly remembered your herbs you'd been sorting through before sleeping and found most of them in a cluster next to your bedroll.
"Here," you grinned to yourself, humored "you can pick the bugs out of these. It'll keep your hands busy."
Shouta almost grinned, you saw that tug at the corner of his mouth, as brief as it was. He breathed out heavily through his nose as if he was trying to keep his grumpy exterior together. He didn't make a move towards the pile. "Oh no, Shouta. I'm serious, make yourself useful."
He gave you an incredulous look. "I broke you out of jail."
"That was three days ago, so far today you've been doing an awful lot of moaning and groaning." You nodded towards the herbs. "Get cleaning."
Shouta didn't move and for a moment and you were sure that you had prodded the bear too much, but sure enough, he reached forward and examined the pile. "I need fresh water."
"Hmm," you thought back to last night "I spotted a fresh pool not too far north. The water looked clearer than the marshes."
Shouta nodded and stared into space for a moment before coming back to himself. "I need to bathe."
You glanced down at yourself and found more dirt under your fingernails than you'd have preferred and felt a wholly encompassing feeling of filth. You also needed to bathe, desperately. "That was the happiest idea you've had yet."
Shouta grinned despite himself, instead of embracing the moment of reprieve Shouta embraced the oldest tradition of manhood, and quite literally ran away from his feelings. As soon as you tied off the bandages he stood and started gathering the herbs, and rolling up the bedroll. The whole time he refused to give you the satisfaction of eye contact.
***
The pool of fresh water was nestled in between a wall of trees to the east and a dense, tall line of bushes. It couldn't have been more than twenty feet across but clear enough to see to the bottom. At first you were worried that it wasn't quite deep enough to be able to properly bathe oneself but Shouta seemed unconcerned as he started pulling off layers of clothes. You hadn't realized how many layers he worre until he was taking them off, he wore thick cotton tunic, a thick leather padded vest and under that a fraying undershirt. He'd originally appeared more stocky to you, especially next to Hizashi, but without the heavy leather vest he was much leaner than you thought. He wasn't quite as lithe as hizashi but what muscle he did have and toned and compact.
You were staring at him, not really registering that fact that you were currently watching someone get underess. He paused after he had shed his top layer and boots, and stared back at you. He didn't look particularly bashful nor as if he was suffering some great intrusion but instead, somewhat smug. It took you a few seconds of eye contact to realize what you were doing and a hot blush rose in your cheeks and ears and you looked away guiltily.
"Sorry!" you squeaked. "I- I uh- shit, sorry! You, just do your thing. I'm going to...go pick some plants."
"You already did that." He chuckled, that the bastard was laughing under his breath. You could hear it. "You don't need to bathe?"
"No." you tried to look anywhere but towards him as you heard the rustling of river stone under his feet and the sound of heavy leather trousers hitting the ground. You tried not to squeak at the image that barged so rudely across your mind. "I mean yes, but we can...take turns."
"You need to change those bandages and clean your burns." Shouta sighed. "You won't be able to do it on your own."
You blushed deeply and looked everywhere but at him. The sky, as it turns out, a lovely shade of blue.
"How about this," he started, as if he were proposing a simple solution to a situation where neither of you were naked nor stripping. "I get in, turn my back and you get in. Turn your back, I help you with the places you can't reach. I'll even close my eyes, on Hizashi's honor. Then you leave first and get dressed and I'll keep my back turned until you say otherwise."
"Hizashi's honor? What about your own?" you asked, fighting a grin.
"He's much more trustworthy." Shouta countered.
" Is your back turned now?" You asked, hugging yourself close even though you were fully clothed.
"I- n-no, you're still dressed." he sighed.
"Well," you huffed "go get in and stay facing away!"
"Of course, ma'am." Was he mocking you? He was mocking you. His mood had sweetened but at what cost? You groaned to yourself and listened for the subtle sounds of the water splashing around his legs and the sharp intake of breath at the cool water washed up against his bare skin. "I'm in."
"Right." you snuck a glance backwards at him, sure enough, he was waist deep in the water, bareback, covered in scars, facing you. You found yourself staring again as he dunked his head under water and wet his long waves. In the early morning sun you were able to see the shadows, the definition of the muscles cast across his back, and the dimples that sat towards the bottom of his spine. You would have blushed if he had wandered to your cottage for healing before all of this began, maybe even made him a meal and asked him to stay overnight for "observation" if he was courteous enough. This time, without turning to look at you, he cleared his throat loudly. You couldn't be sure that he wasn't just clearing his throat in an uncharacteristically loud manner or if he had somehow caught you staring.
The ferocity of the blush in your cheeks heightened. You had been so diligent to make sure he couldn't sneak a peek at your body and you were just as bad as you were acting like he was. You turned away again and took a deep breath before starting to unfasten your tunic from the front. It fell away onto the rounded stones beneath your feet and you felt the fresh air hit what parts of your skin hadn't been bandaged. You'd forgotten about the bandages. They were tied in the back and you're clumsy fingers couldn't quite feel their way around the knot enough to loosen them.
"Shit." you muttered to yourself, your fingers pulling at any side of the knotted fabric you could grasp. You were grumbling to yourself. "Oh come on."
"Something wrong?" Shouta called back to you over his shoulder.
"Hizashi is too good at tying knots is what's wrong!" you huffed. "I can't get the bandaged undone."
"You're still covered up, right?" Shouta asked.
"Um, yeah."
You heard the water around him swirling and splashing as he trudged back toward you through the water. You instinctively looked back and he stopped suddenly crouching so his bottom half was submerged in the water, his hands flying below his waist to assist in the guardian of his genitals. You let out another embarrassing squeak and turned away, at this point your whole body must have been pink with blush.
"What are you doing?" you yelped, dropping your face into your hands.
"I'm going to help with the bandages, stay- just look away." He huffed and stood, water pouring off of him.
It was quite the anticipatory period, waiting for him to rise from the water and rough his hands to graze your shoulder and they reached for your bandages. You tried to tense your body and avoid the shiver that ran through you with every brush and prod of his fingers. Not only was this an inappropriate situation to find yourself feeling this sort of attraction but he was a taken man! A man, who was with another man, and was very likely not even remotely likely to reciprocate your attraction. Oh, stop it you child. You scolded yourself.
After a few seconds of fumbling with the knots Shouta's wet hands freed you and he stepped back to let you unravel the bandages. You had assumed he'd stalked back into the water as per your agreement and were frightful surprised when you turned around to find him only partially submerged and staring at you. At meeting eyes with you he looked away abruptly, the somewhat serene look on his face was replaced by something akin to guilt and he dove under the water.
He sure was feeling dramatic today.
You waited, arms pulled close to your chest until he emerged from the water ten feet back and facing away from you. He didn't make a move to turn around or peak for the thirty or seconds that you watched him so you carefully slid down your trousers, and the small clothes underneath and scurried to the water's edge. He'd been acting like it was no big deal but you could feel how cold the water rarely was and you inched in. It felt good on you aching feet and even your strained shins but when it got to your thighs the raw flasking skin registered the coldness of the water as pain. You breathed through it until your body got used to the temperature inch by inch until you were waist deep and able to crouch down into the water to wash your torso.
The whole time Shouta remained strictly facing away from you running his finger through his knotted hair. You crouched down, the cool water washing over your skin, a mixture of therapeutic coolness and sharp pain hit you. You sucked in a sharp breath, which you guessed must have sounded worse than it was because Shouta glanced back at you with a worried look. He quickly righted himself, looking up at the sky uncomfortably.
"You okay?" He asked, swallowing hard.
"Mm hm." you hummed. You tried to prod at some of the dead sin on your back and hissed. You had been hoping to clean your skin and shed off the dried out layer. "Just... sensitive."
"Do- do you need my help, yet?' he asked, eyes still trained on the cloudless sky.
"Uh yeah." you bent your knees a bit, making sure the bottom half of your body was fully submerged and crossed your arms over your chest, keeping you back facing him.
"Okay." you heard him turning around and gliding towards you in a full swim. He even kept the sounds he made splashing around in the water to a minimum. His hands were gentle when they found your skin, cool water gently being cupped and poured over your shoulders and back. He spent a while rubbing soothing circles into your skin, gently loosening the flaking skin that wasn't going to heal back. Your skin felt sensitive and raw but it was also in a strange sense immensely soothing.
You closed your eyes and let the early morning sun warm your face. You were so focused on the chittering of birds in the trees and very welcomed warmth of the sun in contrast to the cool water, that you didn't notice when Shouta's hands snaked farther forward. It started at your hips, then up your side and down the tops of your arms. You only notice the moment his hands brushed the side of your chest, dangerously close to your breasts. That blush that you'd felt slowly fading away lit up again, and despite the water you suddenly felt warm.
"T-thank you, Shouta." You cleared your throat. "I think I can finish up."
"R-right." Shouta's hands hesitantly pulled away and you felt him hover for a moment, you were sure he was staring. You hadn't taken a moment until just now to wonder what you back really looked like, was it pink and raw, covered in white flaking skin or had it faded a little by now and started to return to a more normal skin tone. He glided away and you heard him resurface a few feet away.
"Eyes to the sky." He announced.
You dropped your arms and began to try and rub the dry skiing from your arms and chest, and break down the thick layer of grease in your hair. It felt wonderful to be cleaning yourself. You hadn't realized how horrendous being filthy had made you feel until you were clean once again. You had been sitting in your own filth for three days in a cage, and then stewing away in bandages and the same clothes for three more. You ran your fingers across your sensitive skin and although there was a bit of tenderness you decided that the bandages were no longer necessary. You headed back to shore, part of you wanting to get dressed and unexposed as soon as possible and the other half wanting to splash around in the water forever. There's something freeing about bathing, always has been. It was relaxing and soothing to not only your body but your mind.
But you thought of Shouta who must have been pruning away in the water and dragged yourself from the pool. You stumbled across one of the larger rocks that your clothes had been strewn across, your wet feet sliding easily down the rounded surfaces. You didn't quite lose your balance but you landed hard and uneven on your foot, a sharp, tering sort of pain running up your ankle and side of your shin. You pulled away from the rock to see a sharp corner from a recent break now painted in trace amounts of your blood.
You groaned loudly, not necessarily because of the pain but because of the frustration. Nothing, literally nothing, could be easy for you? Even getting dressed had to cause you injury.
"You okay?" Shouta was still in the middle of the pool, looking up at the sky.
"Y-yeah." You grumbled, shoving your newly scraped up leg into your trousers. You waited until you had your tunic over your shoulders and ready to lace up before calling out to Shouta and telling him that it was alright to get out of the water. He nearly leaped from the water, enthusiastically trudging towards the shoreline. He was on land and barbarically shaking himself dry like a dog in no time, his long wavy hair whipping to and fro. Freezing droplets splattered across your back and neck, seeping into your tunic and reminding you just how cold the water had been.
Within seconds of getting to shore, Shouta hopped around the river rock for a bit then came striding past you, trousers on but undone, boots on but untied, and the top half of his clothing in hand. You hurriedly pulled your tunic closed and tried lacing it up without revealing your bust. You couldn't help but let your eyes trail after him as he walked, his trousers were dangerously low, lower back dimples showing along with his very defined v-shaped musculature when he eventually turned around to face you.
"Let me see your leg." he jutted his chin towards your scrapped up shin.
"Shouta, it's just a scratch." you waved him off.
"Flesh eating disease." He stated, quoting you.
"I'll keep it clean." You grinned. "Unlike you, Mr. Uses- dirty-cloth-as-bandages."
"Come on, we have to be at the farm by nightfall." Shouta rolled his eyes, as he pulled his undershirt on over his head and shoved it into his pants. He started to disappear behind the line of bushes that separates the pool from the marshland that held your camp.
CHAPTER 6
You were gripping onto Shouta's waist for your life as he rode full force northward, the horse's thundering footsteps filling your ears. You had been riding for a long while, the poor horse beneath you was close to being spent and you could tell as its speed faltered. Shouta kept riding until the horse quite indignantly refused to go any faster than a walk. You'd wound up in a thin strip of marshland with the occasional deeply hunched whomping willow and cluster of waterlogged bushes. The sky was darkening, the blue of the afternoon had long since given way to the golds and oranges of sunsets and was now fading into a deep purple. Your legs were numb, ghost vibrations of horse hoof beats still rolling through your hips and lower back.
Shouta stopped under an especially distorted tree with roots so large and gnarled that you could curl up into the curve of one and disappear if you so pleased. He jumped down, starting a pace back and forth through the murky ground before realizing you were having trouble dismounting on your own. Without a word he grabbed you by the waist none too gently and lifted you down, placing you on your feet in the mud with a squelch. You wrinkled your nose at the sound and the feeling of the bud sinking into the boots Hizashi had gone back into town to get you a day or so ago.
Shouta, wordlessly unloaded the travel bags and the bedroll from the horse and tossed them into a pile against the thick roots of the tree. Everything about the way Shouta was moving put you on edge, sure you'd seen him somewhat annoyed or frustrated over the last five days but you'd only ever seen a glimmer of emotion compared to this. This scale of energy was comparable to Hizashi's jittering nature, his movements were sporadic and uncoordinated. Eventually, having spent way too long on a buckle, Shouta growled in frustration and kicked a long dead stump, shattering the fragile wood. He paused and took a deep breath before turning to you.
"Sorry." He muttered. It was the first thing he had said since "we have to go".
"S'okay." you muttered back, settling down on one of the tree roots. You patted a space beside you and looked back at him. "Sit?"
Shouta huffed and looked at where your hand was patting for a moment but shook his head. He paced again, muttering the occasion word to himself. "You know how to start a fire?"
"Y-yeah." You stammered.
"Good. I'll be back." Shota started walking away, back towards the south from whence you came. You thought about calling after him but thought better of it. Perhaps if it were Hizashi you would have but there was something in the way that Shouta had been furiously trying to stay calm that worried you, that scared you. You watched him fade into the distance until all of a sudden he was gone, disappearing with the blink of an eye into the tree line.
It took you a while to find dry enough wood to make a reasonably sized fire for warmth but you got one going on a small patch of dry land where you and the exhausted horse settled down. The horse tucked its legs under itself and went straight to sleep while you decided to take a look around once the feeling had fully returned to your legs. The marshland was vast to the north but to the south, east and west you could see trees. All sorts of plants poked out of the water nearby, many of which were familiar to you. There were small clusters of pink and white flowers on tall thin stems for pain, thick green gel-filled leaves for burns, and dark green aromatic leaves for disinfecting and cleaning wounds. You collected bunches of each and wandered back to the fire, settling in and spending the rest of your waking hours cleaning bugs from your finds.
You awoke to the smell of cooking meat and the sizzle of moisture hitting the fire. Your eyes flew open and just as panic gave way to alertness your eyes met Shouta's across the now sizable flames and you relaxed.
"Sorry." he gruffed. He was calmer now. "I would have woken you when I got back but you looked like you needed the rest."
"When did you get back?" You yawned looking up at the pale pink sky: the sun was just beginning to rise.
"An hour or so ago." he shrugged. Shouta's eyes were encircled by deep hollows and his shoulders hung lower than usual. It was as easy to see that the man hadn't slept at all through the night as it was to read the words 'I'm exhausted' scrawled across a page.
"You can sleep if you want, I can stay up and keep an eye out." You offered, unfurling from your bedroll as the day's heat already began to swell. If you had the courage you would have asked about Hizashi but there was something unsettling about the calm that Shouta was experiencing right now, as if it were the type of calm that warranted a storm.
"It's alright," Shouta grumbled "we'll eat then head out. I know where to find Hizashi."
"R-really? Is he alright?" you straighten right up at that news. As much as the events of yesterday had provided you with an inescapable and harsh reminder of reality, you had grown fond of the men whose charge you found yourself in.
"I-" Shouta sighed and clenched his fist. "I believe so, he didn't indicate if he was injured."
"He didn't indicate- wait, how did you hear from him?"
"We have a system when we travel, if we get separated we go to the nearest crossroads with a signpost and leave instructions on how to find wherever we're held up." Shouta explained, holding a folded piece of paper to you.
You reached for it stopping to look at his hand, poorly wrapped in torn fabric no doubt from a cloak or tunic.
"Your hand-"
"S'fine." Shouta waved you off.
"Let me tend to it." You looked up, into his eyes. "I'm the one who-"
"I started you, it's fine. It's good that you were prepared." Shouta looked away, awkwardly
"Shouta," you huffed "I'm cleaning it and bandaging it properly before you die from flesh eating disease!"
Shouta smirked, it was a painfully small twitch of the lips, but you saw it. "That's dramatic."
"I've been a healer since I was fourteen," You scold him "I know wounds."
"Fine." He sniffed, still holding out the letter. You took it, at the same time gently grabbing hold of his hand.
It was somewhat cryptic, but you could tell Hizashi had written it in a hurry because it didn't take you very long to pick up on the pattern. The last line of instructions ordered you only to approach the barn he was hiding away in at night so as to not alert the farmer. You looked up at Shouta and shook your head.
"What?" He asked, wrinkling his nose as he looked at his hand as you unwrapped his haphazard bandage job.
"He said to wait until nightfall." You raised your eyebrow at him.
"how-" he looked away "and?"
"And you were just going to ignore that order, weren't you?"
Shouta gritted his teeth, he was fighting some kind of expression off. He didn't want to betray how he was truly feeling but you could gather it all on your own.
"He's precious to you." you smiled, you hoped it was a genuine, kind smile. One that made him feel warm and understood. You really hoped it didn't look cruel or taunting, that would be the opposite of what you were going for. You reached for the bag of supplies he'd left next to your bedroll. There you grabbed a water skin and bandages and began blotting away at his hand with clean water.
Shouta looked up at you, surprise clear as day across his face. Bright red roses bloomed in his cheeks and like a child being teased he stammered and looked down at his inturned feet.
"W-well, I- I guess." he grumbled, trying to fold his arms but failing to do so as you held his hand in place. Taking a deep breath he looked up at you and sighed. "Yes, yes he is. I-I love him."
There was a moment where the two of you looked at each other and a silent exchange happened. One in which you suddenly understood the extent of Hizashi and Shouta's relationship, and that their love runs deeper than that of friends or even brothers in arms. You see a yearning in Shouta that is not only for love but to be with the one he loves, a yearning so strong and absolute that he must already have found that person. You keep smiling at Shouta, this time you're sure it's kind and warm because he can't help but smile back. It's a small sheepish smile and it's plagued with uncertainty and embarrassment, but nonetheless, it's there. In this moment of silent exchange, you feel as though Shouta understands where you stand, just as you were beginning to understand yourself. You, whether you liked it or not, were with them now.
"Right." Shouta broke the silence and plucked a skewer of meat from around the fire. "H-here."
"Still raw." You smirked. "I'm almost done."
You and Shouta sat in silence, him fidgeting with a small folded up map from one of the pouches on his belt.
"We're not going until nightfall, Shouta." You chided him as you watched him stubbornly trying to trace out a path with his free hand.
He stopped and groaned childishly. "What if he's hurt?"
"If he were really hurt he'd have told you knowing full well that there would be hell to pay once you found him if he hadn't." You reasoned, trying to crush some of that dark green leaf between your fingers to make a topical liquid.
This time Shouta's groan was less of an annoyed groan and more of an accepting grunt. He knew you were right and he also knew that Hizashi was capable of taking care of himself, he just needed to keep reminding himself of that. Shouta flipped the map over a leaned back fully against the tree.
"I'm going to go mad sitting here all day." He grumbled to himself.
You smiled to yourself as you rubbed the crushed edge of the leaf against his wound, so he wasn't so stubborn after all. You suddenly remembered your herbs you'd been sorting through before sleeping and found most of them in a cluster next to your bedroll.
"Here," you grinned to yourself, humored "you can pick the bugs out of these. It'll keep your hands busy."
Shouta almost grinned, you saw that tug at the corner of his mouth, as brief as it was. He breathed out heavily through his nose as if he was trying to keep his grumpy exterior together. He didn't make a move towards the pile. "Oh no, Shouta. I'm serious, make yourself useful."
He gave you an incredulous look. "I broke you out of jail."
"That was three days ago, so far today you've been doing an awful lot of moaning and groaning." You nodded towards the herbs. "Get cleaning."
Shouta didn't move and for a moment and you were sure that you had prodded the bear too much, but sure enough, he reached forward and examined the pile. "I need fresh water."
"Hmm," you thought back to last night "I spotted a fresh pool not too far north. The water looked clearer than the marshes."
Shouta nodded and stared into space for a moment before coming back to himself. "I need to bathe."
You glanced down at yourself and found more dirt under your fingernails than you'd have preferred and felt a wholly encompassing feeling of filth. You also needed to bathe, desperately. "That was the happiest idea you've had yet."
Shouta grinned despite himself, instead of embracing the moment of reprieve Shouta embraced the oldest tradition of manhood, and quite literally ran away from his feelings. As soon as you tied off the bandages he stood and started gathering the herbs, and rolling up the bedroll. The whole time he refused to give you the satisfaction of eye contact.
***
The pool of fresh water was nestled in between a wall of trees to the east and a dense, tall line of bushes. It couldn't have been more than twenty feet across but clear enough to see to the bottom. At first you were worried that it wasn't quite deep enough to be able to properly bathe oneself but Shouta seemed unconcerned as he started pulling off layers of clothes. You hadn't realized how many layers he worre until he was taking them off, he wore thick cotton tunic, a thick leather padded vest and under that a fraying undershirt. He'd originally appeared more stocky to you, especially next to Hizashi, but without the heavy leather vest he was much leaner than you thought. He wasn't quite as lithe as hizashi but what muscle he did have and toned and compact.
You were staring at him, not really registering that fact that you were currently watching someone get underess. He paused after he had shed his top layer and boots, and stared back at you. He didn't look particularly bashful nor as if he was suffering some great intrusion but instead, somewhat smug. It took you a few seconds of eye contact to realize what you were doing and a hot blush rose in your cheeks and ears and you looked away guiltily.
"Sorry!" you squeaked. "I- I uh- shit, sorry! You, just do your thing. I'm going to...go pick some plants."
"You already did that." He chuckled, that the bastard was laughing under his breath. You could hear it. "You don't need to bathe?"
"No." you tried to look anywhere but towards him as you heard the rustling of river stone under his feet and the sound of heavy leather trousers hitting the ground. You tried not to squeak at the image that barged so rudely across your mind. "I mean yes, but we can...take turns."
"You need to change those bandages and clean your burns." Shouta sighed. "You won't be able to do it on your own."
You blushed deeply and looked everywhere but at him. The sky, as it turns out, a lovely shade of blue.
"How about this," he started, as if he were proposing a simple solution to a situation where neither of you were naked nor stripping. "I get in, turn my back and you get in. Turn your back, I help you with the places you can't reach. I'll even close my eyes, on Hizashi's honor. Then you leave first and get dressed and I'll keep my back turned until you say otherwise."
"Hizashi's honor? What about your own?" you asked, fighting a grin.
"He's much more trustworthy." Shouta countered.
" Is your back turned now?" You asked, hugging yourself close even though you were fully clothed.
"I- n-no, you're still dressed." he sighed.
"Well," you huffed "go get in and stay facing away!"
"Of course, ma'am." Was he mocking you? He was mocking you. His mood had sweetened but at what cost? You groaned to yourself and listened for the subtle sounds of the water splashing around his legs and the sharp intake of breath at the cool water washed up against his bare skin. "I'm in."
"Right." you snuck a glance backwards at him, sure enough, he was waist deep in the water, bareback, covered in scars, facing you. You found yourself staring again as he dunked his head under water and wet his long waves. In the early morning sun you were able to see the shadows, the definition of the muscles cast across his back, and the dimples that sat towards the bottom of his spine. You would have blushed if he had wandered to your cottage for healing before all of this began, maybe even made him a meal and asked him to stay overnight for "observation" if he was courteous enough. This time, without turning to look at you, he cleared his throat loudly. You couldn't be sure that he wasn't just clearing his throat in an uncharacteristically loud manner or if he had somehow caught you staring.
The ferocity of the blush in your cheeks heightened. You had been so diligent to make sure he couldn't sneak a peek at your body and you were just as bad as you were acting like he was. You turned away again and took a deep breath before starting to unfasten your tunic from the front. It fell away onto the rounded stones beneath your feet and you felt the fresh air hit what parts of your skin hadn't been bandaged. You'd forgotten about the bandages. They were tied in the back and you're clumsy fingers couldn't quite feel their way around the knot enough to loosen them.
"Shit." you muttered to yourself, your fingers pulling at any side of the knotted fabric you could grasp. You were grumbling to yourself. "Oh come on."
"Something wrong?" Shouta called back to you over his shoulder.
"Hizashi is too good at tying knots is what's wrong!" you huffed. "I can't get the bandaged undone."
"You're still covered up, right?" Shouta asked.
"Um, yeah."
You heard the water around him swirling and splashing as he trudged back toward you through the water. You instinctively looked back and he stopped suddenly crouching so his bottom half was submerged in the water, his hands flying below his waist to assist in the guardian of his genitals. You let out another embarrassing squeak and turned away, at this point your whole body must have been pink with blush.
"What are you doing?" you yelped, dropping your face into your hands.
"I'm going to help with the bandages, stay- just look away." He huffed and stood, water pouring off of him.
It was quite the anticipatory period, waiting for him to rise from the water and rough his hands to graze your shoulder and they reached for your bandages. You tried to tense your body and avoid the shiver that ran through you with every brush and prod of his fingers. Not only was this an inappropriate situation to find yourself feeling this sort of attraction but he was a taken man! A man, who was with another man, and was very likely not even remotely likely to reciprocate your attraction. Oh, stop it you child. You scolded yourself.
After a few seconds of fumbling with the knots Shouta's wet hands freed you and he stepped back to let you unravel the bandages. You had assumed he'd stalked back into the water as per your agreement and were frightful surprised when you turned around to find him only partially submerged and staring at you. At meeting eyes with you he looked away abruptly, the somewhat serene look on his face was replaced by something akin to guilt and he dove under the water.
He sure was feeling dramatic today.
You waited, arms pulled close to your chest until he emerged from the water ten feet back and facing away from you. He didn't make a move to turn around or peak for the thirty or seconds that you watched him so you carefully slid down your trousers, and the small clothes underneath and scurried to the water's edge. He'd been acting like it was no big deal but you could feel how cold the water rarely was and you inched in. It felt good on you aching feet and even your strained shins but when it got to your thighs the raw flasking skin registered the coldness of the water as pain. You breathed through it until your body got used to the temperature inch by inch until you were waist deep and able to crouch down into the water to wash your torso.
The whole time Shouta remained strictly facing away from you running his finger through his knotted hair. You crouched down, the cool water washing over your skin, a mixture of therapeutic coolness and sharp pain hit you. You sucked in a sharp breath, which you guessed must have sounded worse than it was because Shouta glanced back at you with a worried look. He quickly righted himself, looking up at the sky uncomfortably.
"You okay?" He asked, swallowing hard.
"Mm hm." you hummed. You tried to prod at some of the dead sin on your back and hissed. You had been hoping to clean your skin and shed off the dried out layer. "Just... sensitive."
"Do- do you need my help, yet?' he asked, eyes still trained on the cloudless sky.
"Uh yeah." you bent your knees a bit, making sure the bottom half of your body was fully submerged and crossed your arms over your chest, keeping you back facing him.
"Okay." you heard him turning around and gliding towards you in a full swim. He even kept the sounds he made splashing around in the water to a minimum. His hands were gentle when they found your skin, cool water gently being cupped and poured over your shoulders and back. He spent a while rubbing soothing circles into your skin, gently loosening the flaking skin that wasn't going to heal back. Your skin felt sensitive and raw but it was also in a strange sense immensely soothing.
You closed your eyes and let the early morning sun warm your face. You were so focused on the chittering of birds in the trees and very welcomed warmth of the sun in contrast to the cool water, that you didn't notice when Shouta's hands snaked farther forward. It started at your hips, then up your side and down the tops of your arms. You only notice the moment his hands brushed the side of your chest, dangerously close to your breasts. That blush that you'd felt slowly fading away lit up again, and despite the water you suddenly felt warm.
"T-thank you, Shouta." You cleared your throat. "I think I can finish up."
"R-right." Shouta's hands hesitantly pulled away and you felt him hover for a moment, you were sure he was staring. You hadn't taken a moment until just now to wonder what you back really looked like, was it pink and raw, covered in white flaking skin or had it faded a little by now and started to return to a more normal skin tone. He glided away and you heard him resurface a few feet away.
"Eyes to the sky." He announced.
You dropped your arms and began to try and rub the dry skiing from your arms and chest, and break down the thick layer of grease in your hair. It felt wonderful to be cleaning yourself. You hadn't realized how horrendous being filthy had made you feel until you were clean once again. You had been sitting in your own filth for three days in a cage, and then stewing away in bandages and the same clothes for three more. You ran your fingers across your sensitive skin and although there was a bit of tenderness you decided that the bandages were no longer necessary. You headed back to shore, part of you wanting to get dressed and unexposed as soon as possible and the other half wanting to splash around in the water forever. There's something freeing about bathing, always has been. It was relaxing and soothing to not only your body but your mind.
But you thought of Shouta who must have been pruning away in the water and dragged yourself from the pool. You stumbled across one of the larger rocks that your clothes had been strewn across, your wet feet sliding easily down the rounded surfaces. You didn't quite lose your balance but you landed hard and uneven on your foot, a sharp, tering sort of pain running up your ankle and side of your shin. You pulled away from the rock to see a sharp corner from a recent break now painted in trace amounts of your blood.
You groaned loudly, not necessarily because of the pain but because of the frustration. Nothing, literally nothing, could be easy for you? Even getting dressed had to cause you injury.
"You okay?" Shouta was still in the middle of the pool, looking up at the sky.
"Y-yeah." You grumbled, shoving your newly scraped up leg into your trousers. You waited until you had your tunic over your shoulders and ready to lace up before calling out to Shouta and telling him that it was alright to get out of the water. He nearly leaped from the water, enthusiastically trudging towards the shoreline. He was on land and barbarically shaking himself dry like a dog in no time, his long wavy hair whipping to and fro. Freezing droplets splattered across your back and neck, seeping into your tunic and reminding you just how cold the water had been.
Within seconds of getting to shore, Shouta hopped around the river rock for a bit then came striding past you, trousers on but undone, boots on but untied, and the top half of his clothing in hand. You hurriedly pulled your tunic closed and tried lacing it up without revealing your bust. You couldn't help but let your eyes trail after him as he walked, his trousers were dangerously low, lower back dimples showing along with his very defined v-shaped musculature when he eventually turned around to face you.
"Let me see your leg." he jutted his chin towards your scrapped up shin.
"Shouta, it's just a scratch." you waved him off.
"Flesh eating disease." He stated, quoting you.
"I'll keep it clean." You grinned. "Unlike you, Mr. Uses- dirty-cloth-as-bandages."
"Come on, we have to be at the farm by nightfall." Shouta rolled his eyes, as he pulled his undershirt on over his head and shoved it into his pants. He started to disappear behind the line of bushes that separates the pool from the marshland that held your camp.
The man who died that night had been the son of some noble in a city in the south, otherwise, the mayor may have overlooked the allegations against you in light of the attempted assault and robbery. Supposedly, it was a family with much more money than the humble village that sat at the foot of the hill your cottage had perched on. It was in ashes now, your cottage. The medicine and herbs, gone, what little money you had had gone to the "church", or rather the clergyman's pockets. And the only precious item you owned; a necklace of your mothers hung in a stall across the street with a tag that read 'Cursed. Previously Owned by Witch'. It had yet to be touched. Even the stall owner was too paranoid to take it in at night, instead, he'd just leave it pinned to the board and cover the stall with a sheet.
It was the dead of night by the time the bars at your back had begun to feel properly cool against your skin. They were chilled enough that you could slouch back and not have to worry about needing to muster up enough strength to throw yourself forward anytime soon. You'd spent much of the first day in the cage curled forward into yourself, trying to hide from the eyes of the villagers who walked by to gawk at a witch. You had been stripped of the blood-soaked clothes you wore when you were arrested for fear that you could use the blood as a component in one of your spells. You were sure that there was also the added satisfaction of the amplified humiliation you suffered on that first day. After that you grew uncaring about your body being on display as it began to peel away under the sun, you were in too much pain and too weak to suffer anymore through humiliation.
You closed your eyes and rested your head between two bars, this was about as comfortable as you could get. It was almost peaceful at night, there were no townsfolk out due to fear of the monsters of the night and the small shy animals would come and scavenge what they could from the streets. You could hear the little pitter-pattering of bunny hops in the grass behind the hanging cages and the occasional clink of scaled bird feet pattering atop your cell. There was a creek that ran through the eastern side of town that you could only hear when no one was around to make so much noise. You could hear everything, which is why it came as so much of a shock to you when a gruff voice sounded in front of you.
You tensed and opened your eyes. Shouta stood in front of your cage, his hair tied back and the beginnings of first shaped bruises marked his cheekbone and jaw. His hands were raw and one of his knuckles had a deep gash, likely from a poorly parried sword. You'd bandaged up a few adventurers in your time as a healer and had heard every story that could be told about how a wound could be secured, from gryphon talons to great bear mauls. It was almost always, in fact, humans cutting each other up. He was calm, it was hard to tell in the dim wavering light of the small torch he held but he looked as though he might be smiling. It was a friendly smile; one you might throw on when reunited with an acquaintance.
"D'you think you can hold this?" he asked, holding the torch out toward you.
You nodded and tried to straighten up, the muscles in your back screaming for you to stay still. You winced and held your breath but persisted in your struggle. Shouta reached his hand through the bars, palm open in offering. Lifting your arms was easier than sitting up and with the help of his unexpectedly gentle grip you were pulled forward. You held onto the bars in front of you with one arm and took the torch with the other, holding it above one of two dangling padlocks that held you in your cell.
"Thanks." Shouta huffed as he crouched and fished around in one of the many pouches stung upon his belt. He withdrew a roll of leather-wrapped with a cord; an ornamental crest stamped into the leather's surface. He unwound the cord and let the leather unroll to expose a litany of small metal tools organized into pockets.
"Try not to light my hair on fire, please." He side-eyed the torch next to his head and guided it a little farther from his with a single finger, you could have sworn there was a small grin pulling at his lips as he settled back into his work. Dick. You were weak but you weren't that weak. Not yet anyway. You let the torch fall a little farther back, not quite far enough away so that he couldn't see the lock but far enough that it was noticeably dimmer.
"Ah, the witch has a sense of humor." Shouta grumbled as he sorted through his roll of tools. He settled on a pair of small metal utensils, one was hooked at the end and the other was an L shape.
"Alleged." You corrected, leaning your forehead against the bars to watch him work at the lock.
Shouta just hummed at that, his mind now clearly focused on his task. You were feeling more and more paranoid as time went on, any stirring of bushes or rustling of leaves made you tense up and try to maneuver yourself into a position to scout out the possible onlooker. Instead, you found scavenging rabbits, lively birds, and one slightly limping street cat. You'd have fed her if she had wandered up to your cottage, and perhaps tried to mend the kink in her tail.
With a click and a small groan from the lock, Shouta unhooked the first of two locks, stood, and began his work on the lock at the top of the door. You maneuvered the torch so that it wasn't directly below his hands and wafting uncomfortable amounts of heat directly at his hands, but off to the side. It wasn't until you heard the far-off rumbling of a cart that you realized that you and Shouta had been alone now for a remarkable amount of time, nearly ten minutes now, without and patrolling law-keepers appearing. In fact, you hadn't seen any for a little over an hour, which was an unprecedented gap in time for the town square to be left unsupervised. As you watched Shouta's hands work you eyed the deep gash on his knuckle and what you could see of the bruises forming on his face and it suddenly occurred to you where he'd gotten his injuries from.
The cart grew nearer and nearer, the point that you were waiting for it to come around the corner at any moment. You'd alerted Shouta of the cart a minute ago and he seemed bothered by it, yet his confidence did little to calm your growing anxiety. The sound of the wheels on the dirt road ground on, getting louder and louder until it all of a sudden stopped short of the square. There was a muffled pair of voices and panicked horses then nothing. The town grew eerily quiet and you once again could hear the stream on the other side of the market.
You peered across the square towards where the cart sounded as if it were coming from and through the dark street you saw a figure walking with reins in hand of two horses on either side of them. As the figure grew nearer you stirred in your cage and tried to get Shouta's attention without being too loud, he could still flee without being seen at this point. Shouta paused and looked over his shoulder, sniffed, and turned back to the lock unphased. You looked on with horror as the figure approached until the moonlight crested over the tall buildings and you saw familiar long flaxen hair, slightly mussed and swaying in the breeze.
There was a click, and a gentle metallic groan, and Shouta's hand flew out to hold the cage door, which you were leaning on, from swinging open. You could cry in that moment, even without the cage door open you felt free. You looked down at the padlocks, rusted and covered in the dusty road. You had beat them, in a manner of speaking. Shouta had. Shouta Had just freed you.
You looked up at him, tears in your eyes. His face was really bruised now, his stray hair danced in the torchlight wildly and his clothes were covered in the dry dusty dirt from the road but still, he looked divine to you. He was, in a more literal sense than God had ever been, your savior. He looked at you blankly for a moment, then as if remembering himself, blinked and threw on a more pleasant expression. He reached for the torch and you handed it to him through the bars.
"How are we getting along?" Hizashi strolled right up to the pair of you. He too looked rougher than when you first met, though his face bore no bruising nor did his gloved hands.
"Hold." Shouta instructed, handing the torch back to Hizashi.
"It's gone well, I take it." Hizashi took the torch and eyed the locks on the ground. "And you, how are you?"
Hizashi looked up at you, his eyes soft and the small smile on his lips comforting. Hizashi, as you were learning, was the more genuinely expressive of the two. Not that Shouta had ever been cold to you, his gestures just didn't reach his eyes the same way.
You reached for the bars next to you and pulled yourself to them so that when Shouta opened the cage door you wouldn't spill out. He slowly opened the cage door until he was sure you were going to stay put then he let it swing fully open. He held out his hands and you took them gingerly unsure of how much you were going to be able to do yourself in terms of getting out. Shouta shook his head and let go of your hands and reached into the cage, one arm pulling your legs out gently and supporting them under the knee before hooding his other arm around your back and lifting you out with ease. Despite how gentle he was trying to be the contact directly on your blistered peeling skin was so painful you let out a shaking breath, trying to dull the pain with breathing techniques you often told your patients to use when you were stitching something or removing debris from a wound. It didn't help and now you understood why they gave you such crossed expressions when you said it.
There was a part of you that was happy to be out of the cage and grateful beyond description to these men for saving you but there was another part of you, growing by the second, that was staunchly aware that you didn't really know them.
"I can stand." No, you couldn't. "I just need a mo-"
"It's alright." Shouta hummed, adjusting you in his arms so you were leaning more heavily into him. "I've got you, now."
You looked up at him, at his bruised face, and saw a kindness that reached his eyes. The tears that were welled up in your eyes finally spilled and you turned into his chest and let them fall, water staining his tunic.
CHAPTER 4
You were gripping onto Shouta's waist for your life as he rode full force northward, the horse's thundering footsteps filling your ears. You had been riding for a long while, the poor horse beneath you was close to being spent and you could tell as its speed faltered. Shouta kept riding until the horse quite indignantly refused to go any faster than a walk. You'd wound up in a thin strip of marshland with the occasional deeply hunched whomping willow and cluster of waterlogged bushes. The sky was darkening, the blue of the afternoon had long since given way to the golds and oranges of sunsets and was now fading into a deep purple. Your legs were numb, ghost vibrations of horse hoof beats still rolling through your hips and lower back.
Shouta stopped under an especially distorted tree with roots so large and gnarled that you could curl up into the curve of one and disappear if you so pleased. He jumped down, starting a pace back and forth through the murky ground before realizing you were having trouble dismounting on your own. Without a word he grabbed you by the waist none too gently and lifted you down, placing you on your feet in the mud with a squelch. You wrinkled your nose at the sound and the feeling of the bud sinking into the boots Hizashi had gone back into town to get you a day or so ago.
Shouta, wordlessly unloaded the travel bags and the bedroll from the horse and tossed them into a pile against the thick roots of the tree. Everything about the way Shouta was moving put you on edge, sure you'd seen him somewhat annoyed or frustrated over the last five days but you'd only ever seen a glimmer of emotion compared to this. This scale of energy was comparable to Hizashi's jittering nature, his movements were sporadic and uncoordinated. Eventually, having spent way too long on a buckle, Shouta growled in frustration and kicked a long dead stump, shattering the fragile wood. He paused and took a deep breath before turning to you.
"Sorry." He muttered. It was the first thing he had said since "we have to go".
"S'okay." you muttered back, settling down on one of the tree roots. You patted a space beside you and looked back at him. "Sit?"
Shouta huffed and looked at where your hand was patting for a moment but shook his head. He paced again, muttering the occasion word to himself. "You know how to start a fire?"
"Y-yeah." You stammered.
"Good. I'll be back." Shota started walking away, back towards the south from whence you came. You thought about calling after him but thought better of it. Perhaps if it were Hizashi you would have but there was something in the way that Shouta had been furiously trying to stay calm that worried you, that scared you. You watched him fade into the distance until all of a sudden he was gone, disappearing with the blink of an eye into the tree line.
It took you a while to find dry enough wood to make a reasonably sized fire for warmth but you got one going on a small patch of dry land where you and the exhausted horse settled down. The horse tucked its legs under itself and went straight to sleep while you decided to take a look around once the feeling had fully returned to your legs. The marshland was vast to the north but to the south, east and west you could see trees. All sorts of plants poked out of the water nearby, many of which were familiar to you. There were small clusters of pink and white flowers on tall thin stems for pain, thick green gel-filled leaves for burns, and dark green aromatic leaves for disinfecting and cleaning wounds. You collected bunches of each and wandered back to the fire, settling in and spending the rest of your waking hours cleaning bugs from your finds.
You awoke to the smell of cooking meat and the sizzle of moisture hitting the fire. Your eyes flew open and just as panic gave way to alertness your eyes met Shouta's across the now sizable flames and you relaxed.
"Sorry." he gruffed. He was calmer now. "I would have woken you when I got back but you looked like you needed the rest."
"When did you get back?" You yawned looking up at the pale pink sky: the sun was just beginning to rise.
"An hour or so ago." he shrugged. Shouta's eyes were encircled by deep hollows and his shoulders hung lower than usual. It was as easy to see that the man hadn't slept at all through the night as it was to read the words 'I'm exhausted' scrawled across a page.
"You can sleep if you want, I can stay up and keep an eye out." You offered, unfurling from your bedroll as the day's heat already began to swell. If you had the courage you would have asked about Hizashi but there was something unsettling about the calm that Shouta was experiencing right now, as if it were the type of calm that warranted a storm.
"It's alright," Shouta grumbled "we'll eat then head out. I know where to find Hizashi."
"R-really? Is he alright?" you straighten right up at that news. As much as the events of yesterday had provided you with an inescapable and harsh reminder of reality, you had grown fond of the men whose charge you found yourself in.
"I-" Shouta sighed and clenched his fist. "I believe so, he didn't indicate if he was injured."
"He didn't indicate- wait, how did you hear from him?"
"We have a system when we travel, if we get separated we go to the nearest crossroads with a signpost and leave instructions on how to find wherever we're held up." Shouta explained, holding a folded piece of paper to you.
You reached for it stopping to look at his hand, poorly wrapped in torn fabric no doubt from a cloak or tunic.
"Your hand-"
"S'fine." Shouta waved you off.
"Let me tend to it." You looked up, into his eyes. "I'm the one who-"
"I started you, it's fine. It's good that you were prepared." Shouta looked away, awkwardly
"Shouta," you huffed "I'm cleaning it and bandaging it properly before you die from flesh eating disease!"
Shouta smirked, it was a painfully small twitch of the lips, but you saw it. "That's dramatic."
"I've been a healer since I was fourteen," You scold him "I know wounds."
"Fine." He sniffed, still holding out the letter. You took it, at the same time gently grabbing hold of his hand.
It was somewhat cryptic, but you could tell Hizashi had written it in a hurry because it didn't take you very long to pick up on the pattern. The last line of instructions ordered you only to approach the barn he was hiding away in at night so as to not alert the farmer. You looked up at Shouta and shook your head.
"What?" He asked, wrinkling his nose as he looked at his hand as you unwrapped his haphazard bandage job.
"He said to wait until nightfall." You raised your eyebrow at him.
"how-" he looked away "and?"
"And you were just going to ignore that order, weren't you?"
Shouta gritted his teeth, he was fighting some kind of expression off. He didn't want to betray how he was truly feeling but you could gather it all on your own.
"He's precious to you." you smiled, you hoped it was a genuine, kind smile. One that made him feel warm and understood. You really hoped it didn't look cruel or taunting, that would be the opposite of what you were going for. You reached for the bag of supplies he'd left next to your bedroll. There you grabbed a water skin and bandages and began blotting away at his hand with clean water.
Shouta looked up at you, surprise clear as day across his face. Bright red roses bloomed in his cheeks and like a child being teased he stammered and looked down at his inturned feet.
"W-well, I- I guess." he grumbled, trying to fold his arms but failing to do so as you held his hand in place. Taking a deep breath he looked up at you and sighed. "Yes, yes he is. I-I love him."
There was a moment where the two of you looked at each other and a silent exchange happened. One in which you suddenly understood the extent of Hizashi and Shouta's relationship, and that their love runs deeper than that of friends or even brothers in arms. You see a yearning in Shouta that is not only for love but to be with the one he loves, a yearning so strong and absolute that he must already have found that person. You keep smiling at Shouta, this time you're sure it's kind and warm because he can't help but smile back. It's a small sheepish smile and it's plagued with uncertainty and embarrassment, but nonetheless, it's there. In this moment of silent exchange, you feel as though Shouta understands where you stand, just as you were beginning to understand yourself. You, whether you liked it or not, were with them now.
"Right." Shouta broke the silence and plucked a skewer of meat from around the fire. "H-here."
"Still raw." You smirked. "I'm almost done."
You and Shouta sat in silence, him fidgeting with a small folded up map from one of the pouches on his belt.
"We're not going until nightfall, Shouta." You chided him as you watched him stubbornly trying to trace out a path with his free hand.
He stopped and groaned childishly. "What if he's hurt?"
"If he were really hurt he'd have told you knowing full well that there would be hell to pay once you found him if he hadn't." You reasoned, trying to crush some of that dark green leaf between your fingers to make a topical liquid.
This time Shouta's groan was less of an annoyed groan and more of an accepting grunt. He knew you were right and he also knew that Hizashi was capable of taking care of himself, he just needed to keep reminding himself of that. Shouta flipped the map over a leaned back fully against the tree.
"I'm going to go mad sitting here all day." He grumbled to himself.
You smiled to yourself as you rubbed the crushed edge of the leaf against his wound, so he wasn't so stubborn after all. You suddenly remembered your herbs you'd been sorting through before sleeping and found most of them in a cluster next to your bedroll.
"Here," you grinned to yourself, humored "you can pick the bugs out of these. It'll keep your hands busy."
Shouta almost grinned, you saw that tug at the corner of his mouth, as brief as it was. He breathed out heavily through his nose as if he was trying to keep his grumpy exterior together. He didn't make a move towards the pile. "Oh no, Shouta. I'm serious, make yourself useful."
He gave you an incredulous look. "I broke you out of jail."
"That was three days ago, so far today you've been doing an awful lot of moaning and groaning." You nodded towards the herbs. "Get cleaning."
Shouta didn't move and for a moment and you were sure that you had prodded the bear too much, but sure enough, he reached forward and examined the pile. "I need fresh water."
"Hmm," you thought back to last night "I spotted a fresh pool not too far north. The water looked clearer than the marshes."
Shouta nodded and stared into space for a moment before coming back to himself. "I need to bathe."
You glanced down at yourself and found more dirt under your fingernails than you'd have preferred and felt a wholly encompassing feeling of filth. You also needed to bathe, desperately. "That was the happiest idea you've had yet."
Shouta grinned despite himself, instead of embracing the moment of reprieve Shouta embraced the oldest tradition of manhood, and quite literally ran away from his feelings. As soon as you tied off the bandages he stood and started gathering the herbs, and rolling up the bedroll. The whole time he refused to give you the satisfaction of eye contact.
***
The pool of fresh water was nestled in between a wall of trees to the east and a dense, tall line of bushes. It couldn't have been more than twenty feet across but clear enough to see to the bottom. At first you were worried that it wasn't quite deep enough to be able to properly bathe oneself but Shouta seemed unconcerned as he started pulling off layers of clothes. You hadn't realized how many layers he worre until he was taking them off, he wore thick cotton tunic, a thick leather padded vest and under that a fraying undershirt. He'd originally appeared more stocky to you, especially next to Hizashi, but without the heavy leather vest he was much leaner than you thought. He wasn't quite as lithe as hizashi but what muscle he did have and toned and compact.
You were staring at him, not really registering that fact that you were currently watching someone get underess. He paused after he had shed his top layer and boots, and stared back at you. He didn't look particularly bashful nor as if he was suffering some great intrusion but instead, somewhat smug. It took you a few seconds of eye contact to realize what you were doing and a hot blush rose in your cheeks and ears and you looked away guiltily.
"Sorry!" you squeaked. "I- I uh- shit, sorry! You, just do your thing. I'm going to...go pick some plants."
"You already did that." He chuckled, that the bastard was laughing under his breath. You could hear it. "You don't need to bathe?"
"No." you tried to look anywhere but towards him as you heard the rustling of river stone under his feet and the sound of heavy leather trousers hitting the ground. You tried not to squeak at the image that barged so rudely across your mind. "I mean yes, but we can...take turns."
"You need to change those bandages and clean your burns." Shouta sighed. "You won't be able to do it on your own."
You blushed deeply and looked everywhere but at him. The sky, as it turns out, a lovely shade of blue.
"How about this," he started, as if he were proposing a simple solution to a situation where neither of you were naked nor stripping. "I get in, turn my back and you get in. Turn your back, I help you with the places you can't reach. I'll even close my eyes, on Hizashi's honor. Then you leave first and get dressed and I'll keep my back turned until you say otherwise."
"Hizashi's honor? What about your own?" you asked, fighting a grin.
"He's much more trustworthy." Shouta countered.
" Is your back turned now?" You asked, hugging yourself close even though you were fully clothed.
"I- n-no, you're still dressed." he sighed.
"Well," you huffed "go get in and stay facing away!"
"Of course, ma'am." Was he mocking you? He was mocking you. His mood had sweetened but at what cost? You groaned to yourself and listened for the subtle sounds of the water splashing around his legs and the sharp intake of breath at the cool water washed up against his bare skin. "I'm in."
"Right." you snuck a glance backwards at him, sure enough, he was waist deep in the water, bareback, covered in scars, facing you. You found yourself staring again as he dunked his head under water and wet his long waves. In the early morning sun you were able to see the shadows, the definition of the muscles cast across his back, and the dimples that sat towards the bottom of his spine. You would have blushed if he had wandered to your cottage for healing before all of this began, maybe even made him a meal and asked him to stay overnight for "observation" if he was courteous enough. This time, without turning to look at you, he cleared his throat loudly. You couldn't be sure that he wasn't just clearing his throat in an uncharacteristically loud manner or if he had somehow caught you staring.
The ferocity of the blush in your cheeks heightened. You had been so diligent to make sure he couldn't sneak a peek at your body and you were just as bad as you were acting like he was. You turned away again and took a deep breath before starting to unfasten your tunic from the front. It fell away onto the rounded stones beneath your feet and you felt the fresh air hit what parts of your skin hadn't been bandaged. You'd forgotten about the bandages. They were tied in the back and you're clumsy fingers couldn't quite feel their way around the knot enough to loosen them.
"Shit." you muttered to yourself, your fingers pulling at any side of the knotted fabric you could grasp. You were grumbling to yourself. "Oh come on."
"Something wrong?" Shouta called back to you over his shoulder.
"Hizashi is too good at tying knots is what's wrong!" you huffed. "I can't get the bandaged undone."
"You're still covered up, right?" Shouta asked.
"Um, yeah."
You heard the water around him swirling and splashing as he trudged back toward you through the water. You instinctively looked back and he stopped suddenly crouching so his bottom half was submerged in the water, his hands flying below his waist to assist in the guardian of his genitals. You let out another embarrassing squeak and turned away, at this point your whole body must have been pink with blush.
"What are you doing?" you yelped, dropping your face into your hands.
"I'm going to help with the bandages, stay- just look away." He huffed and stood, water pouring off of him.
It was quite the anticipatory period, waiting for him to rise from the water and rough his hands to graze your shoulder and they reached for your bandages. You tried to tense your body and avoid the shiver that ran through you with every brush and prod of his fingers. Not only was this an inappropriate situation to find yourself feeling this sort of attraction but he was a taken man! A man, who was with another man, and was very likely not even remotely likely to reciprocate your attraction. Oh, stop it you child. You scolded yourself.
After a few seconds of fumbling with the knots Shouta's wet hands freed you and he stepped back to let you unravel the bandages. You had assumed he'd stalked back into the water as per your agreement and were frightful surprised when you turned around to find him only partially submerged and staring at you. At meeting eyes with you he looked away abruptly, the somewhat serene look on his face was replaced by something akin to guilt and he dove under the water.
He sure was feeling dramatic today.
You waited, arms pulled close to your chest until he emerged from the water ten feet back and facing away from you. He didn't make a move to turn around or peak for the thirty or seconds that you watched him so you carefully slid down your trousers, and the small clothes underneath and scurried to the water's edge. He'd been acting like it was no big deal but you could feel how cold the water rarely was and you inched in. It felt good on you aching feet and even your strained shins but when it got to your thighs the raw flasking skin registered the coldness of the water as pain. You breathed through it until your body got used to the temperature inch by inch until you were waist deep and able to crouch down into the water to wash your torso.
The whole time Shouta remained strictly facing away from you running his finger through his knotted hair. You crouched down, the cool water washing over your skin, a mixture of therapeutic coolness and sharp pain hit you. You sucked in a sharp breath, which you guessed must have sounded worse than it was because Shouta glanced back at you with a worried look. He quickly righted himself, looking up at the sky uncomfortably.
"You okay?" He asked, swallowing hard.
"Mm hm." you hummed. You tried to prod at some of the dead sin on your back and hissed. You had been hoping to clean your skin and shed off the dried out layer. "Just... sensitive."
"Do- do you need my help, yet?' he asked, eyes still trained on the cloudless sky.
"Uh yeah." you bent your knees a bit, making sure the bottom half of your body was fully submerged and crossed your arms over your chest, keeping you back facing him.
"Okay." you heard him turning around and gliding towards you in a full swim. He even kept the sounds he made splashing around in the water to a minimum. His hands were gentle when they found your skin, cool water gently being cupped and poured over your shoulders and back. He spent a while rubbing soothing circles into your skin, gently loosening the flaking skin that wasn't going to heal back. Your skin felt sensitive and raw but it was also in a strange sense immensely soothing.
You closed your eyes and let the early morning sun warm your face. You were so focused on the chittering of birds in the trees and very welcomed warmth of the sun in contrast to the cool water, that you didn't notice when Shouta's hands snaked farther forward. It started at your hips, then up your side and down the tops of your arms. You only notice the moment his hands brushed the side of your chest, dangerously close to your breasts. That blush that you'd felt slowly fading away lit up again, and despite the water you suddenly felt warm.
"T-thank you, Shouta." You cleared your throat. "I think I can finish up."
"R-right." Shouta's hands hesitantly pulled away and you felt him hover for a moment, you were sure he was staring. You hadn't taken a moment until just now to wonder what you back really looked like, was it pink and raw, covered in white flaking skin or had it faded a little by now and started to return to a more normal skin tone. He glided away and you heard him resurface a few feet away.
"Eyes to the sky." He announced.
You dropped your arms and began to try and rub the dry skiing from your arms and chest, and break down the thick layer of grease in your hair. It felt wonderful to be cleaning yourself. You hadn't realized how horrendous being filthy had made you feel until you were clean once again. You had been sitting in your own filth for three days in a cage, and then stewing away in bandages and the same clothes for three more. You ran your fingers across your sensitive skin and although there was a bit of tenderness you decided that the bandages were no longer necessary. You headed back to shore, part of you wanting to get dressed and unexposed as soon as possible and the other half wanting to splash around in the water forever. There's something freeing about bathing, always has been. It was relaxing and soothing to not only your body but your mind.
But you thought of Shouta who must have been pruning away in the water and dragged yourself from the pool. You stumbled across one of the larger rocks that your clothes had been strewn across, your wet feet sliding easily down the rounded surfaces. You didn't quite lose your balance but you landed hard and uneven on your foot, a sharp, tering sort of pain running up your ankle and side of your shin. You pulled away from the rock to see a sharp corner from a recent break now painted in trace amounts of your blood.
You groaned loudly, not necessarily because of the pain but because of the frustration. Nothing, literally nothing, could be easy for you? Even getting dressed had to cause you injury.
"You okay?" Shouta was still in the middle of the pool, looking up at the sky.
"Y-yeah." You grumbled, shoving your newly scraped up leg into your trousers. You waited until you had your tunic over your shoulders and ready to lace up before calling out to Shouta and telling him that it was alright to get out of the water. He nearly leaped from the water, enthusiastically trudging towards the shoreline. He was on land and barbarically shaking himself dry like a dog in no time, his long wavy hair whipping to and fro. Freezing droplets splattered across your back and neck, seeping into your tunic and reminding you just how cold the water had been.
Within seconds of getting to shore, Shouta hopped around the river rock for a bit then came striding past you, trousers on but undone, boots on but untied, and the top half of his clothing in hand. You hurriedly pulled your tunic closed and tried lacing it up without revealing your bust. You couldn't help but let your eyes trail after him as he walked, his trousers were dangerously low, lower back dimples showing along with his very defined v-shaped musculature when he eventually turned around to face you.
"Let me see your leg." he jutted his chin towards your scrapped up shin.
"Shouta, it's just a scratch." you waved him off.
"Flesh eating disease." He stated, quoting you.
"I'll keep it clean." You grinned. "Unlike you, Mr. Uses- dirty-cloth-as-bandages."
"Come on, we have to be at the farm by nightfall." Shouta rolled his eyes, as he pulled his undershirt on over his head and shoved it into his pants. He started to disappear behind the line of bushes that separates the pool from the marshland that held your camp.
I've been hacking away at this since just after Christmas, it's basically a novel at this point and I'm immensely proud of it. Please enjoy! There are requests that are on the way, this longer piece just took precedence.
This post includes: physical violence, mental health, traumatic experiences and the aftermath, use of pain-relieving medications, cursing, sexual content (not full smut, sorry kids), depictions of physical assault/ beatings and forced drowning, mild religious content, and a prominent polyamorous romantic relationship.
Polyamory: the practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all the people involved.
Mental Health note: This piece touches on panic and anxiety born from trauma, some religious-based discrimination and trauma as well as physical captivity and assault.
You leaned forward, tearing yourself away from the sun-baked iron bars that seared your bareback and slumped forward against the equally scalding irons bars in front of you. You had long since lost the ability to hold your body upright, resigning yourself to the inevitability of the burns that peeled away at your skin. It had been two full days since you'd been left in the cage to wither away under the blaring heat of the midsummer's sun. Your shoulder and legs were blistering under the constant exposure to the sun, and your rear was scraped and bruised from the rough iron bottom of the hanging cage. Your lips were cracked, any saliva to moisten them had long since dried up. The only shred of hope you had was that a particularly large cloud might roll by and shield you from the sun for a while or that the sun would set maybe a few minutes earlier today. The hunger and thirst were the most bearable part, the painful emptiness in your gut was little more than a dull ache compared to the waves of burning pain and delirium you were tormented with. At this point, you would admit to what the townsfolk had attempted to charge you with, anything to make this end.
End. You thought to yourself. The end had always been the most terrifying thing to you, where would you go, would it all just stop, would you have done enough? The end had once held no certainty and no solace for you, but now, in the face of the burning inferno in the sky and the flies that began to pick at your already decaying skin, you were sure that it had to have been better than this.
You closed your eyes and leaned your head against the bars, the hot iron pressing into your forehead. You tried to take small focused breaths; the air somehow felt cooler if you puckered your lips a bit. You breathed in place of crying, your body had no more liquid to give. You breathed with your eyes closed until a cloud came, dense and absolute. The redness of the light through your eyelids dulled and for the first time since it had risen the sun's unshakeable scrutiny peeled away from your skin. Mercifully the cloud had been lasting for a while, nearly a minute now. You blinked your eyes open so you could look up at this cloud and appreciate it in all of its merciful glory. However, when you looked up you were not met with a dense white puff of air far off in the sky, but a tall man dressed in all black and a face framed in a wild halo of dark curls.
He regarded you silently, his dismal expression unwavering. The only indicator you had that he had even registered you looking up at him was the slight readjusting of his eyes as he made eye contact with you. You instinctively looked away, no one looked kindly on any of the people who found themselves stuck in these cages let alone an alleged witch. He was taunting you; you were sure. There would be no other reason to get so close. Unless...all black, grim expression. Perhaps the executioner had come a day early. Perhaps, your suffering was to come to an end early.
He crouched down until he was in your field of view and looked up at you. His dark eyes seemed softer than they had a moment ago as they looked up through his thick dark lashes. You started to turn your head away, but his hand reached out and his fingers brushed one of your dangling legs. You tensed at this touch, too exhausted and drained to be able to properly pull away.
"Look at me." He mumbled warmly. "It's okay, I'm- a friend."
A Friend. That sounded awfully good right about now. Even though you knew he was probably lying, trying to manipulate you in some sort of way you looked back at him. What was he going to do that was worse than what had already been done to you? Your eyes met his, and you held intense eye contact for a while. He seemed to be attempting to soften his gaze and you weren't quite sure what to do with yours.
"Can you speak?" he asked, his eyes running up and down your body quickly.
You tested out movement in your throat, only to be met with sharp dray pain. An arid gasping sound was the most you could muster. You slumped farther forward, looking at him pleading eyes that tried to convey how badly you wished you could speak. He wasted no time in twisting around and reaching for a leather bag closed with a cork that was fastened to his hip. He opened it and slipped it through the bars of the cage, looking over his shoulder for any onlookers. You grabbed the waterskin with a strength that you had doubted you still had left in you and managed to get it to your lips, tilting it just enough to dribble a small stream into your mouth. Perhaps this was his game, to poison you. If it was poisoned so be it, this would be a most merciful way to die.
You swallowed until the waterskin ran dry, your body still screaming for more water. You wanted more, you needed more. You tossed the waterskin downwards in frustration at the limited amount of water it was able to provide and in a show of impressive reflexes the man reached out and caught it before it could hit the dusty road. He snorted and affixed the waterskin to his hip once more, standing.
"Your name?" he asked, his voice was gruff but at the same time kind.
You agonizingly lifted your head to look up at him, your strength hadn't returned, it would surely take more than half a day's supply of water to do that. What the water had done was dull a pulsing nausea that sat in your gut and relieved you of some of the sharp pain in your throat. You tried to speak again, this time your voice, or rather a fraction of it came out. "Y/N."
He nodded to himself. "Family name?"
You blinked hard, the sun briefly flaring up behind him as he swayed slightly on his feet. The way his stray hairs danced in the sun was reminiscent of the portraits that hung in the cathedral, of the gold-leafed angelic halos. If it hadn't been for his grim attire you'd have thought him an angel; although perhaps he was an angel, an angel of death. "Need it for my execution papers, do you?"
"No." he sighed. "I need to know if you're who I'm meant to be looking for."
You looked him up and down. True, he wore dark clothes, but they were not formal nor those of an executioner, but rather a plain set of well-worn traveler's clothes. His hair was longer than most men's in the area, and despite his somewhat disheveled appearance he had at least washed within the last few days. Under one of his exhausted eyes, a long scar stretched across his cheek, no doubt from the edge of a blade. Two of which, you'd only just noticed, were strapped across his back, rather plain and worn leather-wrapped hilts and pommels peaked out over his shoulder. He was a traveler and possibly a duelist, however, neither had anything to do with you.
"W-what if I am?" you croaked.
"Then, you're coming with me." He stated casually.
"Which would entail?"
"No hanging in a cage to roast to death in the sun." he deadpanned. "Now, what's your family name?"
You looked into his eyes. There was no sign of deceit, but then again you were in no condition to be trusting your body nor your mind's capabilities. He was right, though. This was just about as bad as it could get. You swallowed for the first time that day, it felt good to be able to. "L/N."
The man's face lit up, if you could call it that. Compared to the dismal amount of emotion before, he most definitely was happy by your response. He looked over his shoulder, shoving his hands in his pocket, and whistled. He jutted his chin towards you while still looking at someone across the way. From behind him, you heard footsteps, sporadic and clumsy. Another man appeared from over the dark-haired one's shoulder, his hair was even longer, and he bore a well style mustache as well as a set of finer clothes. He had flaxen hair that was neatly tied back into a long ponytail down his back and his emerald eyes betrayed much more than his partner's dark ones. He smiled down at you, his expression pure relief and delight. When his eyes fully settled on you his apparent happiness wavered, but he collected himself quickly and was back to smiling at you.
"Hello!" he said in a sing-song voice, that you're sure you would have adored just three days ago. "You're our lady?"
You looked up at him, his positive disposition providing a strange sense of comfort. If he was also looking for you, perhaps wherever you were needed wouldn't be so bad after all. "I- I don't know, am I?"
"She is." The dark-haired man confirmed. 'I- I'm sorry to have to prolong your situation but, do you think you can last until nightfall?"
You looked up at the two men. Were they meant to be your saviors? If so, you most definitely could last until nightfall for salvation. But, if they weren't... you shoved that fear from your mind. Your suffering was inevitable any which way but trusting them, it was the only choice you had that could turn out better. The blond man's beaming smile shrunk into a less charismatic gesture and into a comforting genuine expression. The dark-haired man had softened once again, every time you looked back to him he seemed to become more human to you. It was as if he was evaluating you just as you were him, and every inch you gave he reciprocated.
You nodded silently, wanting to save what moisture you still had left in your throat after draining the waterskin.
"Good." The dark-haired man hummed. "Zash, do you have your waterskin?"
The blond-haired man reached around to the back of his belt and without missing a beat freed it from its tether and handed it to you. You took it readily, and as you did with the first one drained it slowly until not even another drop would come out. Even though you still felt cheated with the finite amount of water in the waterskin you decided not to through this one, it felt rude. The blond man took his waterskin back and tucked it back into its respective place on his belt.
"We'll be back after sundown," The flaxen-haired man started in a hushed voice, "just hold out until then."
They both started to turn away from you, towards the bustling market across the square. Fear rose up in your chest, a fear that had managed to subside in the last day or so as you resigned to your fate. You had just been offered an impossible sense of hope, and you didn't even know their names.
"Wait, wait!" you called out after them in a hushed tone.
They both stopped, the dark-haired one didn't turn back to look at you, instead keeping his eyes trained on the crowd in the market across the street. The blond-haired turned around, looking at you expectantly.
"W-what are your names?" you stuttered.
"I'm Hizashi," The blonde smiled kindly. "that's Shouta."
Shouta tugged on Hizashi's sleeve, looking towards a cluster of people, at the center an older woman who was unashamedly looking back and forth between gawking at them and staring you down. Hizashi turned away from you and the two men disappeared into the crowd, the flurry of villagers and merchants swallowing them entirely.
CHAPTER 2
4 Days Ago
The sun was low enough in the sky for the bugs to start buzzing again and the poor animals covered in fur to try and hunt some sort of game before it got too dark. The hot summer sun had given way to a cool night that smelled of rain and brought cool breezes from the west. The dried herbs that hung in bunches in your window cell swung to and fro, small pieces of brittle stem and leaves tearing away from the bunches and littering the freshly swept floor. You watched the bunches sway in the breeze until the wind grew strong enough to snuff out some of the candles around the window and decided that perhaps a storm really would roll through and that it would be better for both you and the drying herbs if you were to pre-emptively close the shutters. So, you plucked the bunches from their hanging nails and closed the wooden shutters. Locking them in place with small brass latches and placing a heavy stone behind each shutter for some extra hold.
The world grew darker and you found yourself lighting more candles, bringing them slowly towards the center of the room and away from any stray breezes as rain began to fall and cooled the air. It was the perfect night for a warm broth, and you had some fresh bones from the last day's meals. As the night wore on your meal came close to finished and you were able to finish wrapping the small medicinal pouches for farmer Wayland's boy and set them aside for the morning. You stood and stalked over to the pot atop the embers in the fireplace and lifted the lid, the broth was boiling but the roots you had tossed in had sunk to the bottom and could be burning. You looked around the fireplace for a spoon or stir stick but found you had left it on the opposite side of the small home. You turned back to the pot filled with golden liquid and held your hand out above it as if you were holding a spoon to stir it with. From your fingertips, a spectral spoon handle twinkled into existence, inch by inch until a spoon head appeared and you were able to dunk it into the pot and give it a quick stir.
Usually, you were a lot more vigilant when using your magic, but since your shutters were closed and a storm was raging outside you were sure there would be no spying eyes lurking outside your windows to catch you. You had never used your gift for harm, not that you believed you could begin with. You could conjure objects into a semi-realistic form, they acted the same as their real counterparts in every which way except that they appeared semi-translucent and were perpetual purple collar. You could make a knife, a stone, and even a dress if you so wished. You had tried fire and water once or twice, but it always turned out as if it were frozen in time, the way artists capture fire or water in their paintings. You supposed you could conjure up weapons with which you could wage violence and war against the poor villagers around you, but you were no witch and held no hatred of that kind in your heart.
The sound of something hitting your door sent a jolt up your spine and the spectral spoon blinked from existence. You stood in silence for a moment, wondering it had truly been a knock at your door or a piece of debris lost in the storm. You turned to your door slowly, scanning it for cracks or gaps that prying eyes could have spied through. You found none but you were not calmed in the slightest. A second knock came at the door, this time it was a clear series of deliberate knocks. You scanned the room around you for any items you may have injured up and left out.
You tiptoed to the door, hoping that if you took enough time your uninvited guest would leave. But just as you arrived at the door a third set of knocks came, these were powerful knocks, frustrated and ill-tempered to be sure. You took a breath and lifted the latch to the door, opening it just enough so that you could stand in the doorway but no one else could, and held the door tight to your side. Before you stood a man, his arm raised and ready to knock again, so soon. He was draped in a waterlogged cloak that looked like it could be a rich red tone if it wasn't soaked nor the middle of the night. The hood was drawn but you could still make out a strong chin, pointed nose, and dark brown ringlets dripping with water.
"Can I help you?" you mustered. It wasn't unusual for you to get customers at your door for medicinal help, but it certainly was unusual for someone would have enough money to be wearing fine red robes to show up at your door, let alone at this time of night. You eyed him carefully catching a glimpse of a rather gaudy crest made up of two swords and a great hunting hound with something in its mouth, his nose stuck into the air.
"I'm afraid we've got caught in a storm, miss. We're looking for a place to stay the night and wait out the storm." His voice was thick and proud, and he spoke as some with years of formal education might. At the mention of 'we' you looked past him to the gate of your front garden where four men were tying their horses to your wobbly fence post and trodding on your lilies.
"Apologies on behalf of the weather, traveler," You smiled warmly. "but my home is far too small and cluttered to house you and your men. You'll have better luck at the inn in town. It's just down the hill, not but a ten-minute ride; seven if you're swift."
The man's heavy brows knitted together, and his jaw squared, he seemed displeased with your answer. "We haven't any coin, no inn will take us."
"The Innkeeper is a kind man, prone to taking on charity." You responded, inching backwards into your home and getting ready to slam the door if need be.
The man's jaw twitched and his hands, balled into fisted at his sides, were turning white with exertion. No was not a word he had heard much of in his life, you gathered. He laughed a sharp cruel laugh that sounded more like a dry cough. "I'm afraid that won't do."
The man was fast, and indeed much larger than you realized as he lunged forward. One of his large hands grabbed your shoulder and the other shoved the door open with tremendous force. You stumbled backwards and tried to pull away from his firm grip but he clamped down even harder around your arm with bruising strength. His second hand clasped itself roughly over your mouth and he shoved you backwards until your back hit the table that lined the opposite wall. His hand was so large that he was able to clasp down on your nose with his thumb, cutting off your airflow entirely. "I'm not asking this time; we plan on taking full advantage of your hospitality. You can willingly give it to us, or you can find out what your lovely little cottage looks like painted in red."
As if to provide evidence of his cruel nature the man unsheathed a small dagger, one that reflected the dim golden light of the fireplace as it was brought towards your face. He held there, lightly trailing the tip across your skin as you shuttered. With a dangerous glint in his eyes, he flinched his hand, the very tip of the blade biting into the skin of your jaw and trailing up toward your ear. You froze, where the chill of fear should have gripped your bones, instead a flare of anger ignited. Who was this man to think he could invite himself into your home and make threats on your life? Something told you that even if you went along with his requests this would turn out badly for you. You closed your eyes and focused on the crushing grip your assailant had on your face.
It was in that darkness and growing fury that a spark of brilliant purple came to you. It was in the form of a long dagger, jagged and cruel. Your restrained arm pulled back with enough force to break free and met your other between you and your attacker's chests. You could feel the cool bulb of the pommel against your palms and suddenly you could breathe. There was a warmth running down your hands and soaking through your shirt now, a wet ragged breath sputtered in your face until the full weight of a dead man crashed down at your feet. You looked up forward through the doorway and saw the pale face of a small man, a hefty coin purse at his hip and terror glimmering in his eyes alight with purple light. Purple light. You looked down at your blood-soaked hands. A great spectral gnarled dagger blade shone out in front of you, thin ribbons of blood dripping from it.
And in your sudden clarity, the dagger blinked out of existence, the cottage falling back into the dull golden firelight of the fireplace.
"Witch!" he shrieked. You had never heard a man so full of fear. "She's a witch! She's a witch and a murderer!"
OK so quick update on this brain baby thing... it’s all I’ve been writing for about four weeks now and it’s long i mean looooong! I’d say I am a little over halfway done but holy dick guys. Immediately after this I have a shorter story that’s a request about the reader coming out to their parents as poly if you don’t feel like reading 40 K words of mediaeval erasermic Fuckery those feels are also coming😂
I love your stories so much!!!! I got into bnha a month or so ago fully and have been making ocs since and my first one was an OC to go with Erasermic! Reading what you wrote I can easily see my OC in place of yours which is really cool!
I’m so glad I found your blog! Thank you for sharing what you write and I can’t wait for the next post!
😭😭😭 this made me soooft! I’m glad you’ve enjoyed my fics! This is totally the whole reason i do Self insert/ OC insert fics instead of writing in my own OCs specifically!
