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@blackorangejuice
This is my jar of apple sauce. And it is very bold of you to assume that i am not gonna be able to finish it in less then two days. Because let me tell you a secret. I am an anorexic. I am able to live of one kind of food for days before i get tired. And nothing is going to stop me from doing that with this exact jar of apple sauce!!
now that’s what i call ineffective tumblr discourse! featuring such hits as “why aren’t you talking about this thing you didn’t know about”, “this 3-hour-old post has 20k notes instead of 100k clearly you’re all willfully ignoring it”, “if you don’t reblog this you’re a bad person”, & more manipulative bullshit that only exists to make the person saying it feel holier than thou!
“if you can’t reblog this unfollow me” 0/10, no creativity
“[x people] MUST reblog this” 2/10 I was already going to until you said that
“if you can’t reblog this we can’t be mutuals” 5/10 kinda funny because the person who added that is usually a complete rando. Still probably unfollowing whoever put this on my dash though
“you can reblog this actually” 1/10 no shit, sherlock. Did adding that to the post make you feel good, or something???
“people who like this post but don’t reblog it are all hypocrites looking for woke points” 8/10 extra points for creativity and for actually riling me up. That’s really not how tumblr likes work btw
“look, you’re not obligated to reblog this if you really don’t want to, but think hard about WHY it is you don’t want to” -10000/10 I don’t want to SOLELY because you said that. You ruined a perfectly good post is what you did. Look at it. It’s anxiety-inducing
“I don’t care if this doesn’t fit your blog ~aesthetic~” yeah my blog aesthetic is not sending my followers into panic/guilt spirals about things they can’t do anything to change or help
^^^ THATS THE ONE
WHAT I WAS JUST SAYING IN MY LAST POST. AMEN.
this is the day im deciding to stop reblogging guilt posts bc i feel bad
"Reblog to loose x pounds, ingore to have the shittiest week and gain double x pounds" -752817/10, wtf were you thinking when making this post?? If you want to find a way to make an eating disordered person feel bad about themselves, THIS IS IT
Me: *blasting Nine Inch Nails on my laptop*
My cis, straight brother: *dances through my room when he hears the music* "Let's go guuuuurls, let's gooo!"
Important announcement - do not scroll past!
Hey there, i know i haven't been active on here much, i probably thought i was over the relapse or something (spoiler alert: i was not).
Anyways, i thought i'd introduce our pro-ana forum to y'all and also some pluses of being on a forum, rather then general social media (this doesn't mean i completely despise of the community here on tumblr, i will still be posting here, but you'll see once you read further)!
The forum itself is called Boney Place and you can find it under this link: https://boney-place.forumotion.com/
It is a general pro-acceptance forum, everyone is welcome, but we do not actively give out tips to "newbies"!!!
Now, let me list some positive sides of being on a forum:
you don't have to be at a constant risk of getting T-w0rded
you can get as gross and get into as much detail as you want - it is a forum, so it's literally only the people who actively looked it up there and you don't have to be scared of accidentally exposing some random 12-year-old to the most triggering stuff on the whole internet.
you don't have to be afraid of someone judging you. We're all the same there, we've probably been through very similar shit as you and it's also likely that we have the same sense of dark humour.
So if you're looking for a place where you can say whatever you want with zero filters (except for hate speech ofc) and you won't be judged for it, click the link above, I promise you won't regret it.
! Reblog to spread the word around !
did i actually relapse or did i just never recover
I ask myself this question literally every day
Back after like a week with something that is very significant to me.
I met someone. They make me feel like my problems and struggles are seen and heard. They actually care. Believe it or not, before i met them and we started talking, i thought that these kinda people didn't exist and it was all just made up nonsense.
"Isn't that what parents are for?" you may ask. Yes. They are. But mine never were there for me, even during the hardest times of my life.
"Well, you have to have friends then." Yes. I do. But i can't talk to them about everything and that one that i'm the closest with just tries to be my parent when i decide to tell her something important. She always sees it from the practical point of view, gives me shitty/cliché advice and i don't feel any sympathy from her whatsoever.
But that isn't the case with that someone. They listened to me, even asked further questions, showed actual empathy... it was a huge shock for me, because that was the first time i ever felt truly seen and heard in my entire life. But most importantly... they... they make me feel like maybe, just maybe, i don't have to starve myself to be worth something.
I eat one single day kind of normally and my brain is like "nO! yOu WonT bE An aNoReXIc iF yOu Do ThAt!!!"
On Monday and Tuesday, i ate under 500kcal both days. I didn't take any snacks with me to school, so i went the whole day without eating and then in the evening/late afternoon i had something "bigger" to eat. Yesterday tho, i slipped and ate waaayyy more then i intended to, so here's my plan. Today, we have a total of 9 periods in school, which means that i'm gonna get home at like half past five, if not later. I'm not gonna eat ANYTHING until i get home - the only thing i'll allow myself is water and gum. That's it. No matter what happens, i WILL NOT eat until i get home.
Yo it's 12 AM here and that means it's officially my B-day and here in Holland we have the expression "wie jarig is trakteert" [the one whoms birthday it is, treats the rest] and since I turned 21 I'll treat everyone an extra 210 calories above their limit of the day. Feel free to reblog this to pass out the free calories and feel free to grab more than 1 treat if you need to (so you could also grab 2x (420) or 3x (630) or how much you want). I'm giving away unlimited free kcals so don't be shy and take it. I'm passing them out for you <3
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AAAAAA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST DAY EVER!!! YOU’RE AMAZING 🥺🖤
I'm going to see the school psychologist today, wish me luck. It's not like i'm finally gonna start doing something about my billion mental health problems tho. Just gonna ask about what to do if i suspect i have adhd.
It is 4:16pm and i am eating for the first time today... i feel good about myself.
I hate luke from to the bone so bad omfg he’s such a pick me boy I hate him so much
FINALLY SOMEONE WHO AGREES WITH ME
Yeah, i don't really uderstand how and why Eli fell in love with him
I did it again.
I looked at edtwt.
I have no idea why i keep doing this to myself.
Omg i have to create a drawer for storing junk food - every time i buy something small or someone offers me something, i'll take it and hide it in the drawer, and then when there's enough of it, i can binge and purge, yummmmm
(i'm disgusting)
Eating a bowl of kale soup at the moment (it's delicious). I also had an orange, a few gummybears and a piece of salami on half a slice of toast. Didn't count the calories of it (and i haven't for the past few days actually), but i'm estimating that it's about 360kcal. It's 2:48 pm, so that isn't tooooo bad. I'm gonna try and do better in the next few days tho.
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO
I FEEL LIKE IF I WENT OUT TO A ROCK BAR RIGHT NOW I WOULD GET MORE DRUNK AND THEN MAKE OUT WITH A RANDOM HOT GOTH GUY WOOOO
