Me, watching my kitten hold still for a suspiciously long time: Ollie, are you peeing on my floor?
Ollie: Not
Me: Are you sure?
Ollie, grunting through time and space to push out a chocolate mcmuffin wider than he is tall: Not
Me, helpless, arms full of hot chili: Ollie, no! Ollie no! No, Ollie! God, Jesus, Ollie! Ollie, nooo!!
Ollie:
Artist's recreation of incident
I like that both OP and the cat are crying


















