kier

22, she/they, pan?romatic ace a little place for my own ace positivity, thoughts about the asexuality of book characters, and the occasional gender crisis

[ladydisdain5]

More people need to understand that gender and sexuality can be phases, and that's completely fine, normal even, and doesn't invalidate any part of those phases.

"You'll find the right person eventually" this, and "you're just a late bloomer" that. Yeah, maybe. So what? If I find the right person, that doesn't mean I'm not ace, it's a spectrum for a reason. If I do turn out to be a late bloomer, that doesn't mean I'm not ace now.

And what's the worst that'll happen anyway? You'll gain empathy for and knowledge of the group you were part of? Oh, no, the horror

[fangsandthangs]

[convolutedblasphemy]

The best way I can describe to an allo person how you feel about sex as a topic as a sex-repulsed or averse asexual is that it feels like a hype that never ends. As though Despicable Me came out and everyone around you was sending minion facebook memes to each other for years to come. The stores are full of minion themed products; they're in ads and your friends talk about them all the time. And deep in your heart you're like "I'm glad that they're able to enjoy something I personally don't like and am not interested in :3". But there is always this little voice in the back of your head that's like "If I have to see ONE MORE of these little yellow FUCKERS today then God help us all." You make an active choice to communicate only the former.

[casualphantombarbarian]

Just started reading Loveless for the first time and i feel so happy and validated seeing all these thoughts and feelings i have ‘experienced’ by someone else my age

[blackringmiddlefinger]

i was a big reader as a kid and i would read anything and everything i could get my grubby little hands on. naturally, i outgrew the chapter books section of the library and my mom let me wander into young adult years before i should have.

i don’t remember the name of this book or hardly anything about the plot. i must have read it when i was about nine or ten. but the protagonist was the new girl in town and she quickly gets absorbed by the “popular girls” or something like that. anyway, she ends up dating one of the guy friends and valentine’s day rolls around her new girl friends help her buy lingerie and get excited for her because this means she’ll finally lose her virginity!

now you have to remember that i was small and catholic so this thought was horrifying in and of itself. our protagonist was nervous too, so she and i braved through the chapter until she met her boyfriend in his bedroom. and then, surprise, he’s gay and he’s been using her as a beard. i’ll be honest, i don’t remember the specifics of what happened next. i was so wrapped up in my own relief for her, that she didn’t have to go through with this thing and, if she wanted to, she continue to have a boyfriend and be someone’s girlfriend.

of course, i promptly pushed that aside because i was 10 and there were more important things, like hunting for worms and making leaf soup, to worry about. i only remembered the book a few years ago when, after a tough breakup with a boyfriend i truly did love, the first thing i felt was that same, pure, knock-the-wind-out-of-you relief i felt for that protagonist a decade earlier. because even though he and i weren’t together, at least i wouldn’t have to have sex with him.

the moral of this story is - just because you don’t realize something about yourself doesn’t mean it was never a part of you. i didn’t know i was ace until i was graduating from high school, but i can think back on a million stories from my childhood and go “oh wait. that’s why we did that.” i know this is something a lot of people experience, but for those who don’t know it yet, it’s real and you have always been you

[blackringmiddlefinger]

not to pull a post out of years of obscurity on my blog, but i found the book! it's taken me the better part of a year but i can confidently say the book is Populazzi by Elise Allen

it is as cw early aughts teen drama as you can get. old fashioned ya, you know? anyway, i haven't re-read the whole thing yet. (in all honesty, i'm not sure if i will. maybe its better for this story to remain in my memory as a touchpoint and not become something i know the details about as an adult)

when i made this post to begin with, i never thought i would find the book that has stuck in my memory as such a landmark even fifteen years after the fact. if i ever read it, the review will be here. and even if i never read it, it's nice to have something concrete to point to when i think about the things in my life that made undeniable change

[hellenhighwater]

What are your pronouns?

my gender is someone gave me a bowl of raisin bran and my brother a bowl of cheerios, and I like raisin bran just fine, but if they'd asked what I wanted I might have picked cheerios? But I'm already a couple bites into the raisin bran and it seems like an awful fuss to switch to cheerios now, and while I've heard that some people prefer lucky charms or cinnamon toast crunch, and those do seem super fun...I'm not really willing to put in the effort of explaining my breakfast choices to people who think that everyone should just be eating raisin bran or cheerios and nothing else, especially when I don't really care if I'm eating raisin bran or cinnamon toast crunch or lucky charms or cheerios, though I do think everyone should eat whatever cereal they want without being bothered about it.

She/her's fine.

[doberbutts]

❗️❗️ This is asked entirely in good faith. This post is intended to open dialogue and help with solidarity and understanding. ❗️❗️

I would like to hear specifically from nonbinary people how the system of exorsexism/enbyphobia uniquely targets and affects you. Things that you feel other demographics do not experience. Reblogs and replies are very encouraged! If you would prefer, you could dm or send an ask to be added anonymously by me.

This is in the spirit of wanting to understand. I am listening. I encourage all binary trans people to not speak on this topic and let nonbinary people do the talking here. Reblog the post to spread it, but please say nothing.

Any and all people who identify as nonbinary are encouraged to participate. This is not agab-locked. If you are agender, trans neutral/neutrois, genderfluid, bigender, trigender, multigender, xenogender, genderqueer, third gender, two spirit, or any other gender not wholey contained within the strict binary of "man" or "woman", this post is for you. Even if you have already posted on the trans fem or trans masc versions, if you are nonbinary, you are welcome here.

This is not bait to start a fight. I will block without hesitation anyone who is actively being a shithead on this post. I want to hear and uplift your voices by getting it directly from you.

Click this to access the trans fem and trans women version of this post.

Click this to access the trans masc and trans men version of this post.

Click this to access the intersex version of this post.

[digestive]

Me explaining being Aroace: So, um, yeah, it's like being fruity but like two steps to the left *gestures uselessly*

[finnicksannie]

This may sound wild, but sex-positivity should include positivity for people who don’t have sex.

[teaboot]

It once came up with an acquaintance that I was asexual. When they asked what that meant, I said "sex isn't really my thing", to which they responded, "what kind of stuff do you think about all day, then" and while I was about 80% certain before I was 110% after

[teaboot]

my answer to this by the way was "I dunno, lizards and stuff"

[groguspicklejar-deactivated2025]

Barbie moving back or just not feeling it when Ken tries to kiss her on multiple occasions. That right there. That's when I felt so seen.

And throughout the entire movie, I was just dreading the moment where she'll have to step back and realize that she's had feelings for him this whole time ugh and that she'll go back and they'll live happily fucking ever after again ugh

But there was none of that. Just Barbie being her own self without a man, without a romantic relationship.

That right there. That gutted me because that's been me my entire life and I thought that there was something wrong with me for not wanting a boyfriend and romance in the real world, fictionally it's a whole other thing but this right here rung so so true to me because it felt so real and it felt like a healing salve to that ache society caused in me.

[melovibez57]

[theartofangirling]

I heard someone call barbie disappointingly heterosexual and I've never disagreed with anything more strongly in my life

[patronsaint-ofmystery]

i love the idea of human barbie still being aroace! it would break her away from being stereotypical barbie! sure just because she didn’t like ken doesn’t mean she’s not attracted to men, but wouldn’t it be so cool if the world’s greatest sex symbol was aroace!

[reggieslocket]

idk if this is because i'm aroace but it baffles me that dating apps exist like who tf came up with this idea?? i mean i go out with a total stranger with the specific purpose of starting a romantic relationship with them?? what the fuck is that? where's the friendship part? where's the part where we've know eachother for most of our lives? like some people really go "oh hey nice shirt, i know nothing about you but i definitely wanna date you" nah i don't believe it

[skykittywhatchamahcallit]

I think this is an incredibly important video to watch

[rapidashrider]

“I’m like, ‘Okay, she’s a doll. She’s a plastic doll. She doesn’t have organs. If she doesn’t have organs, she doesn’t have reproductive organs. If she doesn’t have reproductive organs, would she even feel sexual desire?’ No, I don’t think she could,” Robbie said. “She is sexualized. But she should never be sexy. People can project sex onto her. Yes, she can wear a short skirt, but because it’s fun and pink. Not because she wanted you to see her butt.”

Margot Robbie said Ace Barbie Rights with her whole chest.