a n d r o m e d a

"though a girl named for the stars, it wasn't nebulas that swirled beneath the skin of her wrist, but rather the fluttering wings of a delicate-boned bird who yearned to be crushed." of the most noble and ancient house of black.

[smokinteddy-blog]

Is there any universe - literally any parallel reality - in which you believe I might want to go to the fucking tea shop? 

I can have my memory refreshed in a broom closet. I have no problems with that. I mean, it might not end with me being homeless, but I would prefer to keep my eyes in my head, the possibility of which dramatically decreases the second Bellatrix finds out about said memories.

But yeah, I’m not really into the whole domestic animals option, so…yeah, let’s make out in the broom closets. 

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

You got suspiciously defensive about the Nicholas Sparks thing earlier, so I thought I probably shouldn’t rule it out as a possibility. Just in case.

Okay. Sounds good. ...You know, we could start, like now? Yeah. Let’s start now.

[smokinteddy-blog]

Well you know me. I can be a regular Leonard Shelby when it comes to stuff like this. 

But uhm…if I recall correctly, last time we were seen in public together, I believe the word you used was “embarrassing” so…I’m obviously feeling a little confused. 

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

Okay. Okay, here’s the thing, I’m not... embarrassed of you. At least not anymore. I.. like you. But also if I publicly go out with you? I will literally be homeless.

I can’t tell anyone or go on a date at that stupid tea shop with you or just generally do anything that’s not in, like, a broom closet. So. I don’t know. If you want to just forget it ever happened and go back to siccing domestic animals on each other, that’s... I’m fine. I can do that.

[smokinteddy-blog]

I cannot believe you just-

Oh. That kiss thing. Okay, sure, let’s talk about it. Are you gonna pretend you didn’t like it now?

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

No. That would be a bad strategy considering kissing you twenty seconds ago probably would’ve blown my cover. 

Are you going to need your memory refreshed multiple times in the future?

[smokinteddy-blog]

How dare you? How dare you? I would never waste my time reading Nicholas Sparks. 

You have done nothing but persecute me all day long and I won’t stand for it. This is a hate crime. This is because I’m a muggleborn. 

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

Oh my god, you’re such a baby. By the way, I’m pretty sure Hemingway and Nicholas Sparks are on the same tier so.

[smokinteddy-blog]

The kissing thing? Hmm…nope, not ringing any bells. 

Refresh my memory?

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

...That was super embarrassing. Did you lift that from a Nicholas Sparks novel? I don’t think I can kiss you after that, I need a minute.

[smokinteddy-blog]

That is so typical of you, you spiteful jerk, hoping that Gloriana will transfer before I get the chance to find out whether her chamber of secrets is really as magical as they say it is. 

What thing? The Americans thing? Is that the thing you’re talking about? Is the thing Peppermint Bark? Is that the thing?

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

You know, I can’t say for certain, but I think I did you a solid. Legend has it that real-live harpies are extremely warty down there.

Can you be serious for two milliseconds of your life? Thanks. The kissing thing. That thing.

[smokinteddy-blog]

Actually, Crup is right under the seat, and he’s gnawing on your Mary Janes. Good Crup! Good boy!

Yeah, I read about it. What’s there to say at this point? Now not only do I have to deal with Death Eaters, I have to deal with Americans, and something tells me they’re not coming from the Algonquin. 

Hi. 

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

Oh, lovely. I have lost all feeling in my foot due to the cold.  Glad you’ve been passing all your etiquette skills onto him. 

One of them is moving into my dorm, so there’s going to be even more noise than usual. Maybe she’ll put a voodoo curse on all of Gloriana’s hair products and she’ll be so ashamed she has to transfer.

Hi. I already said that. Are we going to talk about the thing?

[smokinteddy-blog]

No, by all means, stay there. I live to give up my hard-won seat at the cool kids table at the pleasure of the princess.

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

Hard-won, huh? What kind of steep competition did you have? Wait, let me guess, the homeless crup who follows you around and that fourth year who wears the Darth Vader socks?

Hi. Did you read about the Salem thing?

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

—Hm? Oh, sorry, were you sitting here? I have been exiled from my dorm room after a toxic potion-gone-wrong spill and it’s late enough that all the empty classrooms are locked so I just kind of... sorry. I can move.

[skye-terranova-blog]

“It seems like you always have a plan.” Raphael stated. “I couldn’t even imagine staying sober during a social event.”

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

“Yeah, well. You always need a plan.” Andromeda allowed herself a small smile. “Oh come on, is the idea of socializing with people really so awful you have to be drunk to do it?”

[skye-terranova-blog]

“It’s a good distraction from the all the other Christmas events.” He answered. “I’m not very keen on getting caught under a mistletoe or playing with reindeers so the solstice celebration seems to be the first event that I don’t despise completely. Will you be attending?”

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

“I guess that’s one thing we can agree on,” Andromeda admitted. “The mistletoe and the reindeers both strike me as health hazards. I swear, the entire castle is going to have either E. Coli poisoning or herpes by the end of the month. I will be attending. Being the only sober one there is great for accruing blackmail.

[skye-terranova-blog]

“Mr.Black certainly knows how to satisfy more demanding students.” He said with a smirk.

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

“Interesting choice of phrasing,” Andromeda sighed, the mere idea of attending the solstice party outside, in heels, while some drunk fifth year spilled Firewhiskey all over her new jeans leaving her unbelievably bored. “Why are you so excited about tonight anyways? It’s not like you can practice real, potent dark magic on the grounds without risking expulsion.”

[aemiliavanity-blog]

“Oh!” Emma squealed as a reindeer licked at her outstretched palm. “They’re adorable! I kind of want one as a familiar.”

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

Andromeda wrinkled her nose, making sure to keep what she considered a safe distance away from the reindeer. It had a certain... odor. “I don’t know about that, Emma. Could you hug a reindeer? Would it not impale you with one of its antlers if you tried?”

[smokinteddy-blog]

You’re right. That was an incredibly stupid thing to do, because now that I’ve done it, now that I know what that feels like, there’s no way I can not do that again.

Oh, what, like you think I’m in a big hurry to let everyone know the highlight of my life so far has been kissing Bellatrix Black’s sister? Kiss me again.

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

The highlight of your life, huh? I guess that is pretty embarrassing.

I... I have to go. If I stay five more minutes, I’m going to have to sprint to make it back in time for curfew and I can’t sprint in these shoes.

[xcanisx-blog]

Hmm, man buns… I could totally rock one of those. 

I always do charms homework with James. It’s more fun that way but lately he is a bit…Distant. It’s weird. And I don’t like it but anyway… What? Someone? Pff… Merlin’s sake, that sounds so pretentious, it’s adorable. But really, Andy. Don’t you have a someone you’d like to “accidentally” find yourself with under mistletoe?  

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

I can’t believe I planted the seed for that one. The whole of Gryffindor tower is going to be chastising me for it for years to come.

Huh. Weird. Did he run out of hair gel? Bad puns? Did his glasses break in a way that isn’t boyishly charming? Way to try and fail dodging the question, Sirius. Don’t try to deflect to me. You taught me that move. You really have not a single detail to offer up to your favorite cousin?

[smokinteddy-blog]

Oh don’t give me that bullshit. I know moony eyes when I’ve seen them. Christ, at least pretend to respect me enough to think I can recognize that you… God, this is so like you, to try to make me think I’m crazy to imagine that you might have feelings for me, like it’s just so absurd that it’s just unthinkable. Well, it’s not absurd and I know it’s not absurd and there’s nothing you can say to make me think it’s absurd, and yeah, maybe I am around you all the time, because I like being around you. Maybe I’m around you all the time because you’re the only person I’ve ever met who…oh, fuck your family. You want to know what I want? Fine. This is what I want. 

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

Oh man. That was. That was definitely not a smart thing to do. That was actually probably the least smart thing you have ever done, and you voluntarily put a dragon blood flavored e-cigarette in your mouth. You can’t tell anyone you did that, okay? And before you open your stupid mouth, it’s not because I don’t like you. I think you probably know I don’t not like you.

[xcanisx-blog]

Hey, homeless puppy is my aesthetic. And someone already adopted me. A nice couple, actually. They have a son who is a little shit but I love him anyway.

Yeah, well. I had to keep my mind busy with something and a big ass book on goblin history did the trick. Oh, come on! Mistletoe is a lovely tradition, one of my favourites. Although this year I’ll probably avoid it but…Ha, yes. You looked so distressed but he was one happy fellow. Spread the Christmas cheer through kisses, Dromeda. It’s good for the heart. 

[blackvelvetbones-blog]

I get that, but soon it’s going to start interfering with your vision and the next thing we know you’ll start wearing man buns and it’ll just be a huge mess.

You should do the charms homework. It’s semi-interesting and you get to light stuff on fire, which I know is a favorite pastime of yours. Hmm? And why will you be avoiding the mistletoe this year? Have you, dare I even say it, found someone? And I’d really prefer spreading Christmas cheer in slightly more sanitary ways, I don’t think most people’s dental regime is as rigorous as mine.