trcubledycuth:
Tears refused to fully cloud her eyes despite how heavy emotion weighed upon them, not under the casualty of the moment would they fall, not while trying to remain PROFESSIONAL even if all of that had went straight out the window when he’d announced he was dying. Perhaps Daenerys was in shock. No. Undoubtedly she was in shock. Who wouldn’t be? For the past week Daenerys had been planning, daydreaming what the future would look like. The good they could actually do compared to their father’s and the legacies they intended to tear apart and build from the ground up. Creating something INCREDIBLE for the world to talk about.
Oh. It was okay if he was dying as long as he got in one last fuck you to dad? His eyes latched onto her’s once more and she remained still, steady, though her chest was heavy. Harry had been a constant throughout her childhood and though it eventually veered off she always thought fondly of him. Daydream about one day in the future, a day similar to this but… The outcome was different. “It is important.” Dany clarified, firmly. The most important. Clearly that was far more important than the business at hand but… Harry’s smirk implored her to see differently, but morality was a thing in itself.
It felt WRONG to accept. But the week she’d spend plotting up the future, he’d spent drafting up paperwork for a day that would fall beyond his own demise. Violet eyes fell to the table as she inhaled slowly, steeling herself. She wasn’t so capable of talking causally of fate primarily because everyone she had ever known was GONE. Of course Harry would follow. Daenerys gaze rose as he leaned forward, catching her attention.
Oh.
“You’ll have to excuse me a moment.” Level words flowed with grace. Years upon years of coaxing, class, and cover up had left her standing in one fail swoop and slipping out from behind the table and past Harry making a clear beeline right for the restroom.
Dany might’ve been the only one to really give a shit about this news. He had expected this, to some degree, but somehow witnessing it was another thing entirely. They played their game of cat and mouse frequently as they got older, dancing around their friendship from years past and toying with it with an almost childlike amusement. Propriety between them was expected, but a kinship was absolute scandal. They knew it, and they didn’t care. Harry loved their shared loathing for whatever first world competition for dominion their fathers once held, but he also knew she had been shaped into something much stronger and on the peak of a moral high ground he would never reach. There was a point in time where he had acted out and began his phase of self-destructing chaos; drinking, drugs, overspending, taking advantage of his position for sex, travelling to ridiculously lavish places and making the flakiest, worst sorts of friends. He was beyond that now, left with little more than bad habits and bitterness, and if she held that against him he wouldn’t have blamed her. But even still, she was here, making all the signals that she wanted to do everything they had ever dreamed of. No more dancing around it, no more sly smiles across the room at charity events, but real, in the flesh partnership. It made him ache with the unfairness of it being right there for him to take, yet just out of reach.
It felt important that he remain steadfast and keep up at least some illusion of strength as she rose and so politely excused herself. Dany always had immaculate etiquette, even in the middle of tearing reputations and generational traditions to the ground. He always wanted to be more like her, portray that same sort of elegance, but it wasn’t in him. All he could perform was chaos and destruction in his own carefully controlled grace. It wasn’t nearly as beautiful as her’s.
Alone now in the room, the tips of his fingers turned white where they gripped his glass with too much strength. He knew why she was disappointed, beyond any human ties or affection that had always bonded them. In reality, he understood how well of a team they would make. They both had drive, anger, ambition, poise, and a position to do something with it. They would have been an unstoppable force, having strengths where the other may lack, although it never seemed to Harry that she lacked in anything. Any dream they had of teaming up and destroying every expectation laid out of them was over now, and he felt sick for being the cause of its destruction. More than that, he felt angry.
He wanted to smash his glass onto the floor and watch it shatter. He wanted to find the closest blunt object and break every fragile, elegant piece of decor in this overly extravagant office and tear every bit of finery to shreds. But it wasn’t the first time he’d felt this desire to tantrum, he’d done it all after first learning of this disease. This time, it felt more prudent to reign his aggression in and keep his cool for Dany, as everything they’d ever dreamed and desired together was being extinguished before they’d ever had time to flourish.
He had meant to set his glass on the drink tray, but something else took over. His arm rose and fell with too much force. The glass broke, and crystal shards scattered as they hit the surface, surrounding the array of liquor bottles. A shaking hand went to his hair and tugged harshly until the pain reigned him back in. Perhaps one minor slip up would be understandable.
