Iâm crying I found the first Kingsman thing I wrote
I was looking through my email and I found this things I wrote at like 3 a.m. right after I watched both Kingsman movies. I think it was supposed to be a plot for a whole Eggsy fic??? I refer to him with a lot of weird names so bear with me. Also I curse a lot in the early hours of the morning Iâm sorry! Enjoy my 3 am thoughts
âIâve had it rough my whole life and you think youâve the right to tell me whether or not Iâve worked to be here? You, born with a 24-karat spoon in your mouth and a mummy and daddy that loved you by your side? You, with the education and the opportunities that people in my neighborhood would kill for just a taste of? Step off your high fuckinâ horse,â
*cue Fortunate Son* *cue Sweet Child O Mine* *secretly cues Bad Girls by MIA*
· Mother died in Kingsman training and step-father never wanted her
· Grew up on the streets half the time
· Exploited and abused, she learned to shut herself off from the plain (a thing very important when sheâs an agent)
· Taught herself and anyone else anything she possibly could because schools are shit
· Had to support her younger sister so she worked the pole from age 19
· Gets arrested for punching (fuckin merking) a big business guy that got a lil handsy at the club
· Merlin shows up with bail and an opportunity
· She is fixed up and put into training
· Almost fuckin drowns in that first test but finds this vent thingy in the ceiling and climes into it while the others are distracted by my man Eggo punchin the fuckin glass
· She climes up the vent successfully and keeps going (âyou have all failed, you forgot one very important thingâ *points to that one girlâs dead body* âwait where the fuck did [name] go?â) and she falls through the fucking ceiling but Eggyboi catches her (âI think you just fell for meâ *cue wink*)
· She becomes besties with Roxy, lowkey doesnât communicate too much with Eggsy, is bullied by the other guys for being a stripper in the past (âcome on, give us a showâ -guys âpiss off bruvsâ -my egg)
· Some flirtation but she doesnât wanna get close but hes all up in itttt
· Leggomyeggo has to hold onto her during the parachute thing
· During the hot person transformation into a classy person shes like WOW and Eggsy is like SHIIIITTTTTTTT bRUv and Merlin is surprisingly good at outfits
· Final 2 showdown with Eggbert (turns on her unfeeling mode to shoot but keeps thinking of her sister but shes still a badass so she does it and was actually aiming away from the dog but whatever)
· Is at the church when that shit happens oops she wilds out but gets knocked out she doesnât know what to heck happens with Colin Firthâą
· The Eggcarton sees this and is like oh shiteeee
· Gets to the plane with the boyos and is sent to distract and fuck shit up
· Gets a lil PTSD from her childhood while all the heads are exploding and thereâs a bunch of noise and its WORRISOME
· Beats these guard bitches the fuck up
· Takes a bullet for my man Eggsy and says âgo on and save the world for me, I can take care of myself this time. If I die get my sister away from [step-fatherâs name]â
· He reluctantly leaves to go fuck some more shit up while she crawls to the plane only to be met by her past tormentor from training (he gets merked but as we see in movie 2 it doesnât work out)
· She hears some Eggo yelling and decides to ignore her pain like she always has and goes to help him
· There is a GIANT ASS fight scene by herself and âLive and Let Dieâ plays
· âlisten here, emo Rachel Berry, I donât have the fucking time for your shitâ
· âbitch get yo hand off that thing I swear to Godâ (to valentine)
· They save the day!!! Yayy!!!!
· Whats this? Eggsy has a lil feelings? She has a lil feelings? They find a room? You already know what the fuck is up
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