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@blaise-whitakerold
People always say "you've got more to give" But I just have nothing left Find I'm working so hard to live I'm making murder look like petty theft
I wish you all the best in life Not like before You deserve so much more than me So much more than me
Phone call: Jordan -> Blaise
Jordan: I laughed for about ten minutes straight when I found out. But the parents are proud, my Dad's given me the "that could have been you in 2 years at the Olympics" speech like five times. I have it memorized, and he's already ordered like a million of Mike's jersey which I'm planning on burning.
Blaise: Haha wow, well hey I mean, its not like you gotta be around them much longer, so I guess thats alright. I'll definitely help you burn a jersey or two though. Hey uh...do you...are we...I mean are we still like...together or?
Phonecall: Blaise
Kane: Blaise, I'm going to say something that you're probably going to punch me for but I need you to think about it. [There's a pause and a few seconds where Kane doesn't say anything at all, only turns around an idea he has considered a few times as of recently.]
Kane: Have you ever thought that... You might be depressed like the serious kind or... Bipolar?
Blaise: .....you're kidding right? That's...that's hilarious, really. Wow, fuck you man. No seriously, FUCK you. You can't label me with some bullshit mental illness cause you've decided I'm some fucking sociopath or something, no fuck you, that's bullshit. You're a fucking idiot. I'm not crazy, I told you, I've been sleeping, I'm not some fucking nutcase. Don't get all psycho-analyzing me, thats just fucked. Have you considered that maybe you're bipolar? Or hey maybe you're just an asshole! That sounds pretty accurate to me.
Phonecall: Blaise
Kane: Okay, fuck, I'm sorry. I just.. I don't know, fuck.
Blaise: ....I feel like shit, I've felt like shit for two weeks and I dont like people seeing me in...the state I've been in. I feel like I'm two different fucking people here, Kane. I'm a fucking wreck and I dont want you guys seeing that, I dont want this to define me, I'm happy with the person I am around you guys, even if everyone thinks I'm a fucking asshole at least they don't think I'm some fucking weak pathetic loser who cant even will himself to get out of bed. I dont need that rap. I dont want this to be who I am, this isnt who I am.
Phonecall: Blaise
Kane: What stops you from calling any of us? What makes you shut off?
Blaise: I DONT KNOW! Okay!?!? I dont know.
Phonecall: Blaise
Kane: I'm glad you called. But I don't like thinking that you feel as if you're a waste of space.
Blaise: That's not what I said but its good to know thats what you think. I just said I feel like time is slipping away from me, like one minute its Tuesday and the next, its Friday and I dont know where the time in between went. I feel like there isnt enough time in each day, its like I want everything to just pause while I sleep, so when I wake up I wont have missed things. Everyone else's lives keeps moving while mine is standing still. Thats what I was saying.
Phonecall: Blaise
Kane: You don't have to go. Look if you feel like shit talk to me. I want to help okay?
Blaise: I feel like shit, and you can't help. I called to let you know I wasnt dead and now you know so...thats that.
Phonecall: Blaise
Kane: Robs is good and so is Wy. He was talking about taking a road trip this summer or something. But I mean, I think well be okay as long as we keep in touch. I plan on calling and texting and visiting. You guys are my friends, been with me through a lot of shit. I'm not gonna lose that. And Blaise.. That's scary you know that? That's really fucking scary. To think you're wasting away. Is that how you felt the last two weeks?
Blaise: .........you know uh...I'm glad um...I'm glad everyones good and stuff. Summer will be good. I...I told you I've...I've been sick. And actually um I dont really feel well right now so I might...go...
Phonecall: Blaise
Kane: Oh yeah definitely haha. And they're okay as far as I know. Mostly pumped up for it being the end of the year.
Blaise: Oh yeah...yeah of course. Hows uh, hows Robs and..Wy and...fuck I really havent spoken to anyone I'm the worst friend ever. Hows this gonna be when everyone finishes school and goes off different in their different ways and I'm still stuck here in bed not talking to anyone? Its crazy you know cause like I can feel myself wasting time, wasting days, losing track of what day it is and what month it is and you know I sleep all day and...then that time is just gone, its just disappeared and suddenly its like three days later and I still havent left my room and ...the world kinda just...has kept turning without me you know? Everyones gotten on with their lives, doing their own thing....wow sorry I dont know where that came from...ignore me.
Phonecall: Blaise
Kane: Haha, nah you're not that lazy. You really love sleep, however. And I've been okay. I haven't got into fights with River lately and I didn't get caught by Dawkins for the cow prank.
Blaise: Hahaha shit, well things are working out well for you then. How are the others doing?
Phonecall: Blaise
Kane: Yeah, okay, I guess I can agree with that. But hey Blaise... What if it's.... What if it's not a cold?
Blaise: Then I'm a lazy ass shit who sleeps too much and I'll just have to face the truth. Hahahahaha. Fuck I dont know, its nothing major. How have you been?
Phone call: Jordan -> Blaise
Jordan: Siberia as in Minnesota because he got drafted by his least favorite team. But yeah I guess that makes it a little better.
Blaise: Oh hahahaha fuck, duh. Wow sucks to be him, but hey thats great for you! How do your parents feel about it? Your Dad must be happy he's hit the big league
Phonecall: Blaise
Kane: No offense but that sounds like something you should go to the doctor for...
Blaise: Nah I googled it, its not like cancer or anything, its just like a cold or whatever. Plus do you really think I can afford a doctor? Most of the time they just talk bullshit to get you to cough up more cash anyway, he'll probably put me on some stupid ass meds that do nothing and then tell me I just have to like drink more water or some shit. No thank you.
Phone call: Jordan -> Blaise
Jordan: Meh. Good news: Mike is moving to Siberia so I really never have to see him again. Bad news: I officially signed up for summer school and it seems just as boring as regular school. That's about it really.
Blaise: Siberia as in actual Siberia??? Why?? And yeah I'm probably gonna sign up for that shit too unfortunately, but hey at least we can brave it together...
Phonecall: Blaise
Kane: Good because she was worried as fuck. I tried to tell her you were okay just fucking off at home or something. But I don't know how much fruit will help. I mean, you could try haha. But uh... What do you mean by sick? Did you have the flu?
Blaise: Err I dont know, maybe? I haven't been to a doctor so I got no idea. Its probably just a cold, I had a bit of a cough for a while there. My heads just been feeling really shitty and I just feel like super fatigued, so I've been sleeping like...18 hours a day. I think it was my liver as well, probably just telling me to slow down haha. I'll be fine I'm just...tired.
Phone call: Jordan -> Blaise
Jordan: Well I've been really worried, so I think not alright is pretty accurate. But I forgive you, only if you tell me if you get sick again. Two words was all I needed.
Blaise: ....Yeah, that's fair. I just...I didn't know how to explain it so...I didn't. It was shit, I know. How are you? Other than being mad at me
Phonecall: Blaise
Kane: Well I'm glad that you finally decided to call. I hope you contacted Jor by now. And uh... Are you feeling better? Or something? It's been like what two weeks? Fuck man.
Blaise: Yeah I left a message for Jor just before, hopefully she'll get it. I'm feeling...I dont know if I can say better but...I mean I'm awake and not in my bed so thats a start I guess haha. I'll just like...eat some fruit or something I dont know...