migraine

"Waging my wars behind my face and above my throat..."

[alexa-ives]

“Still, I should I should have been paying more attention.”

[blakeocd]

“No really it’s alright. I insist.” Flashing a small smile, the boy took a few steps back from the girl. “I think we all get a little sidetracked here and there. Besides, it could have been partially my fault. See I was counting the tile on the floor and I must’ve been just as distracted as you were.” Of course this was a lie. Blake typically counted the tiles the first thing in the morning as a daily routine but he felt as though sharing the blame might lighten the load so he fibbed just a little. 

[preholocenic]

His brows lifted in a somewhat incredulous expression as the other man continued, briefly pausing to wonder why the worst that’d happened (to his knowledge) had been mere chair re-positioning. Judging by the way he regarded inconvenience, he doubted he would’ve been nearly as friendly if he’d suffered through similar circumstances – still, it refuted most of his previous consideration that Blake was merely paranoid. After all, it wasn’t paranoia if one had a decent reasoning behind their concerns. “That’d fit under that category, yeah,” he said, momentarily drawing his lips into a thin line. “So, got any ideas who might hold a grudge against you?” Though it wouldn’t have surprised him, given his new information, that most other patients disliked him, some weren’t as keen on petty vengeance as others.

[blakeocd]

Shaking his head, Blake looked down. The situation with the chairs was definitely frustrating, but Blake was never the type to actually do something about it. He had long since outgrown throwing his temper-tantrums and yelling at people. Instead, he would rather sit silently and allow it to happen even thought it was something that could possibly send him over the edge. He shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed as he looked back up, shoulders slumped over. “Doesn’t really matter anyways,” Blake lied. He needed to keep in mind that they were in fact just chairs. “They’re just chairs,” he mumbled. It had been advised to him that if he ever found himself obsessing over something or getting upset, it would be a good technique to say logical and calming thoughts aloud to help his brain register and accept them better.

[devsrph-blog]

“Well, I just followed what you told me to do. You’re the real brains of the operation. I can barely tell my right from my left, while you’re talking about forty degree angles.” She let out a small giggle and sat back down in one of the chairs. “You really have an eye for detail, don’t you?”

[blakeocd]

An eye for detail was putting things nicely. Really, Blake had an excruciating need to memorize a room and every little thing about it. From a spider web in the upper right hand corner to the small pencil mark on a table. Everything was memorized and not a single detail went unnoticed and from years of counting things, Blake had become very good at math. From there he learned angles which helped him when instructing others that wanted to help him organize rooms. “Well still, I think you did pretty good,” Blake smiled. He sat down in a chair opposite too Valerie, slouching forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “So how’s the uh... dissociative thing?” Blake asked, gesturing to her head. 

[carter-baker-blog]

Carter laughed warmly. “Social skills? You must not know me very well.” She wanted to make him feel safe and not feel pressure to impress her in any way, so she had to hide her happiness in finding out her reputation for people who didn’t know her was that she was good at talking to people. She didn’t want to be intimidating, that was bad news, but she doubted that most people found friendliness off putting. “Trust me, you really don’t need to intimidated by me. The scariest thing about me is probably my eyebrows.”

[blakeocd]

“Guess I don’t. I usually don’t get a very good read on people... People are just kinda difficult.” Blake couldn’t help but laugh at the girl’s comment. He took a second to take in her appearance---- bold eyebrows matched with equally bold eyes. Blake came to the conclusion that it wasn’t her personality that scared him off, but rather her eyebrows. “Well perhaps it was the eyebrows,” he acknowledged as he crossed his arms over his chest. “When you think about it, they are kind of amazing. I mean, they’re like twenty shades darker than your hair color. Did you bleach your hair lighter or something?”

[mikarose-o-deactivated20160410]

Mika nodded once, acknowledging Blake’s words, “I wouldn’t necessarily say it was a choice to come here, though. It was sort of forced upon me.” She recalled the panic attack that ensued shortly before being admitted to Lakeside, all from a simple question of what she wanted for dinner. Thinking about the day made her fidget, even nearly three years later. Her leg bounced and she lightly shook her head at herself, watching. “But I guess it was worth it,” she added softly, “considering I’m not full-fledged panic attack right now.”

[blakeocd]

“Is it ever really a choice? I mean I’ve seen my fair share of people getting dragged in kicking and screaming,” Blake recalled. Over the years he had collected memories of almost every patient there in Lakeside being dragged in with snot dripping from their noses and tears trailing their face. It wasn’t a pretty sight and almost always caused distress for Blake. He wasn’t the type of person that enjoyed seeing others in such a place of agony and sadness so he often tried to avoid even seeing new admits for the first week or two. “Well that’s good,” He nodded. Blake wished that he could say the same but for him, tings had stayed the same. They had yet to find a good combination of medication to give him and he was still obsessing over the smallest of things. “I mean if you feel like you might have one I’ll leave you alone and go alphabetize the library again.”

[alexa-ives]

“Oh.. I-I’m so sorry I didn’t even see you there… I’m a total cultz. ”

[blakeocd]

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. You’re only about half my size so you couldn’t do much damage.”

[preholocenic]

“Easy? Sure. Interesting and fun? I don’t know; I don’t see the appeal. Seems underwhelming and pointless to just move a few chairs around and hope nobody puts them back before you walk in. Besides, why would someone want to target you? Did you do something stupid and piss someone off?” Though the notion that someone had gotten bored enough to purposefully drive another to some sort of breakdown didn’t appear surprising, he couldn’t see evidence in the act of merely re-positioning chairs, especially when he’d consider the reward of such behavior to be woefully underwhelming. Instant reactions, in his personal opinion, were infinitely more interesting, and even in the case he’d manage even the slightest hint of patience, he still thought he’d consider the idea to be utterly ridiculous – Blake, to him, sounded paranoid.

[blakeocd]

“By stupid do you mean holding everyone up before lunch to yell at them to put their stuff back where they found it? Because if so, I have done that on several occasions while being in a fit of rage. Also I probably threw someone’s stupid stuff away while organizing one time or another so that’s something.” Blake had become notorious for his relentless need to organize every little thing. Often times if things were to go missing, Blake would possibly be the one to blame. His idea of something that was worthless varied from the next person and there were definitely a few incidents where he threw away a stuffed animal someone loved but Blake only saw as a ratty piece of trash. 

[carter-baker-blog]

“Well, yeah. I mean, we haven’t really talked yet, and you seem…I don’t know. Sweet.” Carter brushed her hair behind her ear and smiled. “It’s kind of hard to make good friends here. People are always trying to figure out what your kind of crazy is, I hate that.” Carter half lied, looking at her feet. She didn’t find it difficult to make friends, not at all. She was pretty sure most people considered her a friend by now, but she did get the feeling people wanted to know what was ‘wrong’ about her.

[blakeocd]

“Well I’d say you’re doing pretty well at the whole friend thing. Actually, you’re probably doing better than me and I’ve been here for a few years,” Blake assured as hew dipped his head in embarrassment and rubbed the back of his neck. “But I guess it’s good that I come across as sweet.” The very thought of people actually thinking of him in a positive manner made Blake’s face break out into a smile. “You come across as... intimidating. I don’t know why, but I think I actually avoided talking to you because of your proficient social skills.”

[blakeocd]

too-many-vals:

The girl began putting the chairs where they were supposed to go, trying her best to make them perfect for the other. “Is that better? I know that I’m not the best with these things, but I tried.”

The girl had gotten the arrangement almost perfect with the exception of the chair closest to him. Instead of facing it at a forty degree angle, it was at a thirty degree angle. It was a simple mistake so Blake didn’t make a big deal about it, Instead he quietly walked over to it and angled it correctly. “I’m surprised you moved the other chairs to the right spots though,” Blake commented, impressed. “I think you’re better at this than you give yourself credit for.”

[missxamerica-deactivated2016060]

“Okay, well if you see anyone banged up later just know it was me.” She said with a small smile. She nodded listening. She grabbed the smaller chairs moving them out of the room. Going back in the room she moved the big chairs back. “Does it look okay?”

[blakeocd]

Blake couldn’t help but smile at the girl. He wasn’t used to having people actually care enough to even joke about messing others up if they even dared to joke around with his OCD. It was a nice change and it made Blake feel genuinely happy. He watched as the girl moved chairs around, he himself even grabbing a few and placing them in their correct positions. He looked around the room, a relieved sigh escaping his lips. “It looks perfect.”

[v-thibault-blog]

“I’m not sure it’s too make fun of you,” Violetta’s eyes found the floor as she began to shuffle her feet. “I think it’s more of a living kind of thing, y’know? Chairs move all of the time and people don’t think to put them back. Things move all of the time and people don’t think to put them back. Humans are lazy.” She shrugged, looking toward the chairs. “Do you want some help putting them back?”

[blakeocd]

“Living kind of thing,” Blake repeated. He looked down at his feet for a second, trying to find a logical reason to believe that was the answer. Fortunately for him, there was so much proof for that to be the answer to why the chairs were gone. Unfortunately for Violetta, he was a stubborn little shit and he refused to allow that to be correct in his own mind. “I don’t think that’s the answer,” He nodded, looking back up at the girl---- or rather down at her. “But yeah, sure. Help would be highly appreciated.”

[yourandiexo-deactivated20160214]

“No one here wants that for you, I don’t think… How about we do something to get your mind off of this?”

[blakeocd]

“Do something? Like what?”

[mikarose-o-deactivated20160410]

Mikayla watched Blake as he spoke and she nodded, her eyes darting from one place to the next as she tried to figure out how to respond. “I can barely handle the amount of people here,” she decided. Thinking of the amount of people she would have to deal with if she ever had the opportunity to leave made Mikayla’s heart race and her breathing quicken. “I could never handle the real world,” she added shakily. She lifted one shoulder half-heartedly before returning her gaze to Blake.

[blakeocd]

Blake watched curiously as the girl struggled to find an answer. Throughout his time there, Blake had yet to learn much about Mikayla. He knew that she had problems socializing with others but that was where he drew the line. The two hadn’t had much interaction except for glances across the room or a simple “hello” every once in a while so it wasn’t surprising that their conversation was filled with awkward silences here and there. But that was something Blake didn’t mind. He liked the enigma her silence created and at the same time, he liked learning new quirks and bits of information of the enigma standing before him. “Well I guess it’s good that you’re here then. I’m happy that people get to come here to get help. Nice people like everyone here deserve to get help and be happy,” Blake nodded. It was cheesy, but it was something he believed to be a fact. 

[missxamerica-deactivated2016060]

“Well, if I ever see people moving chairs I’ll make sure to take a whack at them.” She said with a small smile. “Yea, of course.”

[blakeocd]

“I wouldn’t advise whacking any staff though. Just as long as it’s a patient, be my guest. Okay so anyways, those big chairs that are in front of the smaller chairs can stay and only need to be moved a quarter inch back but those smaller chairs---- they don’t even belong in this room.”

[mikarose-o-deactivated20160410]

Mika’s eyes widened slightly at his comment and she half-smiled, glancing down at the rug beneath her feet. “Okay, I might not have reacted in nearly the same way,” she admitted. “I probably would’ve been more helpful. Hope you wouldn’t kill me.” She wrapped her fingers around her notebook as he sat, and looked up at him when he spoke again. “I’ve been better,” she spoke, “but I’ve also been worse. What about you?”

[blakeocd]

The boy smiled back at the brunette as her eyes widened. The comment was definitely not something that was typical of Blake and humor of any sort was usually only seen when Blake was on schedule with his unassigned duties of organizing any part of the building he could get into. The boy nodded as he did his best to follow along, isolating the little details about his surrounds that he wanted to fix like how a strand was out of place on Mika’s usually perfect hair or how the clock in the room was seven seconds too slow. “That’s good,” He commented, the sound of the clock ticking away and beckoning him to change it. “I think I’m doing good but I also don’t think I need to be here anymore so I’m not sure if I’m the best person to judge myself.”

[preholocenic]

Mark paused to glance around the rest of the recreational area, stuffing his hands into his pockets. After his brief scan of the room, he returned his attention to Blake and his distress, internally debating whether engaging would benefit him with so few others around. Eventually, he decided that interaction would eventually serve him better than isolation, and resolved to stick around for longer, hoping it’d be worth his while. “Annoying enough to waste time moving a bunch of chairs around?” he asked, cocking a brow. He himself wouldn’t have needed anything significant to mess with others, though his own pranks, of sorts, tended to be rather severe in comparison.

[blakeocd]

“Well, when you think about it moving chairs is a pretty easy way to piss a guy off with OCD. It’s not extravagant and takes very little planning and over time... the mental damage can prove to be colossal,” Blake pointed out. Though Blake had missed a lot of school due to his mental illness, he was no sucker. His mind often drew conclusions that seemed to be traced by a mastermind and one of his theories was that someone in the hospital was slowly starting to drive him insane by moving the chairs more and more each day. Even though he couldn’t quite come to a conclusion for why someone would be so cruel, Blake was convinced that this was what was happening. 

[yourandiexo-deactivated20160214]

Andie frowned. “Perhaps there’s a reason things have moved. Not everyone is out to get you, dear.”

[blakeocd]

“Well of course not everyone. That would be silly,” Blake agreed. “But perhaps just one or two people do find it amusing to watch me freak out.”