im gone

16 y.o and sweet and kind and lovelyall things good are all things i am

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k i refollowed everyone bye

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I CANT THINK OF A BETTER URL THAN LVL101SINSLAYER

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anyway, i am really going to make a new blog now

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i went on a website i used to post stories on when i was eleven or twelve and there was this collection a lot of people used to talk about their life that i was a part of and someone just commented "you're lovely. i miss you. i miss you." mixed feelings.

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it's very difficult. most of the time i feel like i am pushed to do things for the money more than for want. i know if i become an adult i could regret doing things just because i wanted to. i might want to support people close to me and not be able to do it. that's how i feel right now and i feel weak, powerless, and like i am abandoning them. i know that is what people don't want for me when they want me to become something big, clean, and certified. such careers do help people, but they don't evoke any kind of ambition in me. 

i really want to change for the better. it's difficult not to become something you hate. you have to work at it every day. you have to reevaluate what you think is good for you because sometimes it is just part of a punishment you are trying to inflict.

i want to become a lot of things. society makes it hard. i want to have the chance to be shallow, airy, and insubstantial. i wouldn't stay that way forever. i would touch some things with my real hands and i would feel real things. but i would be transparent and float and i wouldn't care about useless things hurting me. they would barely touch me. but i would hold hands with the good things and if they turned bad, i would hurt, but it would show for something. i do have a body. it is a record. i have to look at it and not feel guilty, and not feel ashamed.

[daegeseag]

howwwww is revo this man who can write like 120+ songs over ten years and have them be all nice and unique and interesting but also hes a gigantic weirdo, he revels in being some kind of new-age vampire bullshit jackass and i love him

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heres the problem: everytime i write yaoi (most of the time cause everything i write is gay) the love nterest is Kaworu nagisa unless hes a jerk and then hes not kaworu nagisa hes just an asshole. but its not really a problem. i just have standards

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i want to talk about my writng and characters cause i get excited and my friends are so attentive and intense-eyed and would probably accommodate me but im embarrassed. but i will do this someday

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 i wnat tommy wiseau to meet revo and become enamored with him on a weird level and make a movie about revo starring tommy as revo but a world where revo lives wiseaus life. so basically just tommy wiseaus biography but revo is the main character, but played by wiseau

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holy shit

[daegeseag]

he gains a year oh my god hes going to live forever. this was his plan

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daegeseag replied to your post:ferick, i love you

i love you toooooooo

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

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ferick, i love you

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i try to talk but all that comes out is depression

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=So03KFCbc1E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7wSBqOIJBo

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idk there was this family. or i don't know if they were all related cause im forgetting now. but the two older ones were the most messed up. idk if the middle one, the second eldest, was a boy or a girl. but they were both talking about how messed up they were and why and i think it was a girl but idk. the oldest had red hair. they weren't all full blood siblings, these two were half-. anyway something happened. i think there was a sister, whose skin around the cheek and eye had been pulled and cut with scissors and now had some kind of burn there. she was shy. the youngest. and when the second eldest laughed about it and said she was like an "authoritarian princess" the eldest brother grabbed them and it was like he still cared. but then he just smiled and said youre fucking annoying me and shut up. let me talk

and there was this strange white animal. man. he was definitely a man but like a cartoon blob in white. they all lived in a hotel and he kept trying to check in. he was a disgusting man but polite. the staff kept letting him in. but he was just a monster. and every time he tried travelling up the escalator with his tiny suitcases they would all plan to kill him somehow. he did awful things to them. that's why they were the way they were.

it turned into a poem when they were talkinga bout him. like you saw him in the elevator but you were following a bunch of text. and a flashlight shone only on the parts being read by the eldest brother. and part of it went, "he was filthy but ever-so-polite". that was one line.

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idk i feel very lousy lol i want to make a new blog cause i dont want some people to look at me but this is such a good url. i wish people left you alone if you told them to. lol