“ mm … i guess. ” he hums in thought at sousei’s words. always so like him to say things like that … there may have been a large gap in time where they never even saw each other – but tenka doesn’t think his old friend has changed much at all. he snaps his fan closed, holding it over this mouth briefly as he finishes his thoughts. “ what more is there for me to do but watch everyone run further and further ahead of me? there’s not much i can do, sousei… with my body like this … ” you’ll get in the way, you’ll just be a burden. his fist clenches slightly but the thoughts are shook from his head. “ well, guess i’ll just have to do my best to try and catch up! i can go pretty fast on this thing! heh. ” he knocks on the arm of the wheelchair for assurance.
sure, things may be better than before. though he’s still haunted by the feeling of being a burden. with each growing day he can’t help but worry more and more … his brothers are growing up. he doesn’t want to be the one being taken cared of by them. not out of pride … but there’s always just the lingering feeling that he just causes extra trouble for his siblings. things would be easier if tenka wasn’t paralyzed. too bad tenka can’t help. everything takes longs with tenka around… these thoughts curse his mind. as much as he truly believes his brothers would never think such a thing, the eldest can’t help but feel paranoid … and yet. he still smiles.
so that despondency has finally spilled over; the unsettled ashes, thick with darkness, overflowing from the cracks of a carefully constructed facade. impotence begets a deep, unspeakable misery that mires the soul, until tenka’s smile is molten and laden with too many thoughts, realized from too much time. it is at the sad sight of the man slumped before him that sousei reaches an understanding: this is the moment of his greatest vulnerability. this is kumou tenka’s admission to weakness, clouded eyes downcast with defeat, and sousei’s frustration and ire is suddenly renewed, his response delivered with fervor.
‘ idiot. have you already forgotten what i’ve told you? you don’t even need to fight to support them, because you are their north star. they cannot fight in earnest unless you are there to guide them and spur them on. ’ unbridled austerity glimmers in his leer ( how could he have forgotten?! ) and yet, the more he glares, the more it becomes all too apparent that he does not have the fortitude to withstand his lashings. ire receding, he recollects himself, settling back down with a sigh.
‘ i can’t believe you. you felt this way, and yet you kept it to yourself. you have kept so many things from everyone, thinking that you can bear it all alone. have you forgotten that you are also human? ’ ( those who give off light will burn themselves down in turn. that smile of yours will not protect you from that reality. ) ‘ if you go on like that, you will destroy yourself. i see that your mindset isn’t one that can easily be changed, but .. your burden does not have to be shouldered alone. ’ his expression softens then. the time of the yamainu has ended, and though closing the distance is difficult with his ineptitude in socializing, he does it if only for the sake of tenka. ‘ i may have been your rival, but i am here for you now. i don’t have to be the one to console you, but if you want to talk, i’ll gladly take on your troubles, if it means that you can feel more at ease and be the guidepost your brothers need. you don’t have to tell me your deepest secrets, but i only ask that you trust me. ’
