Blind And Blessed

[alphacrone]

gonna quit my job and move to some random town and open up an ice cream parlor called I SCREAM and it's only open from dusk til dawn and the flavors are all spooky names like MONSTER MASH MANGO and BLOODY ORANGE and ROTTING CORPSES & CREAM and EXISTENTIAL DREAD and i'll only be seen at night except for occasional daytime appearances where i wear dark sunglasses and long flowing coats and people will ask me what my favorite flavor is and i'll say "oh no, i don't actually partake in...eating..." and they'll all think i'm a vampire but i'm really just lactose intolerant.

[alphacrone]

#this sounds like the plot of a bailey school kidss book#''vampires dont serve ice scream'' (via @modern-alebrije )

literally all i want in life is for children to accuse me of being a paranormal creature

[loverpdf-deactivated20220820]

me in my "i have to get an A" to "atleast i submitted the paper" arc

[under-the-arch]

Me except I was still getting A’s at the end of that arc I just wasn’t stressing over them as much

[fishgummy]

dni if you: watch riverdale unironically, have your hogwarts house in your bio, are active on twitter, think of yourself as the main character of an indie coming of age movie, ship/have shipped real people, have more followers than following on your personal instagram, read exclusively YA fiction, eat pizza with a fork, have never watched high school musical, write smut fics for fun, proudly identify as a “gifted kid”, liked doing the pacer test in elementary school, hate blue raspberry flavored candy, don’t think math is blue and science is green, or have fewer than 20 playlists

[blindandblessed]

Please pray y’all.

[best-memes-ever]

[eviesteviie]

i love subtitles

[richauntievibes]

I need to read to hear

[nostrem]

the real problem is people still use apple products

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

somebody here is posting from the mirror dimension

[prokopetz]

My real problem with food packaging that boasts about how “sinful” its contents are is that they seem to think anyone is going to be impressed by that. Like, okay, eating these marshmallows is a sin? Big deal. Sins are a dime a dozen – I’m probably committing a couple right now. Come back to me when you’ve got marshmallows that can blaspheme. I want to know exactly which heresies I’m committing by eating these marshmallows. I want marshmallows that caused a schism in the Catholic Church.

[unofficial-vatican]

Marshmallows so good they make you confess Sabellianism?

[prokopetz]

Marshmallows that were personally condemned by Pope Julius II at the Fifth Lateran Council.

[digitaldiscipline]

The Ninetey-Five Reece’s Pieces

[cowboy-garfield]

Everybody go tf home I have officially found a worse name for eyes than ‘orbs’

[pancakeke]

can’t believe I had to read this with my own balls

[blindandblessed]

We’re already so far in the semester and I still don’t have basic materials for my classes???

It’s just baffling to me how little effort gets put into making things accessible.

[indynerdgirl]

Reblog if you're a Catholic NOT giving up Tumblr for Lent.

[donesparce]

Bath & Body Works logo but it says Back & Body Hurts

[fuckoffsenpapaya]

[macrolit]

Reblog with just TWO choices

[omghotmemes]

No meme. Just a big fucking gigachad with big fucking set of iron balls

[itsthebrokenheartthatdecides]

King

[pisswallet2-deactivated20220415]

And we have Trudeau who goes and hides in a basement because the honking scares him. Puss puss.

[officialmacgyver3-deactivated20]

What I love about Zelensky is he is a Jewish lawyer turned comedian. His father’s actually a world renowned scientist as well. He played a President of Ukraine in his comedy troupe and TV show. He jokingly runs and picks up steam and decides to take it seriously. Gets like 72% of the vote. Wins. Instantly stands up to the Russians and has his meddle tested and is found to have balls the size of basketballs made of titanium.

[prescription-cactus]

reblog this post to give the previous blogger a fleeting and entirely false sense of accomplishment

[blindandblessed]

My boyfriend when I first introduce him to Silly Songs with Larry: How can you listen to this???

Him, five minutes later: Oh wheeeeere is my hairbrush???

[blindandblessed]

Him: *sneezes* Achoo-moo-moo!

Me: *sneezes*

Him: Bless you-moo-moo 😊

[vashiane-archive-blog]

Natural Eye Color Chart