How heartbreak ends?
In the beginning, we rationalize. We barter. We think. We over analyze. We fantasize. Criticize. Hate. Cry. And repeat. Our chest hurts. Our bodies shake. Our minds explode with sadness. And our throats get that constant lump in the back that we try to ignore.
We are afraid to sleep, afraid to eat, afraid to think. Nothing makes sense anymore. We have lost ourselves. We become walking zombies. For a few, itâs a little more than that. But nevertheless, it never fails to remind us what we lost late at night.
We all think that we are the exception to the rule. We never actually believe that we are the rule. No matter how many times people tell us they arenât coming back, we beg to differ. We wait for that day when they will come back. Theyâll come back when they realize what they lost. What used to be ours, will be again. Thatâs what we tell ourselves. But for now, we suffer. We let the sadness eats us inside. We are glad to celebrate our pity party of one.
And then a few weeks go by. Nothing has changed. Perhaps for some of you a breadcrumb or two. But nothing really to keep us fed, our hearts remain hungry. We beg for more. Call. Text. Stalk. Drive by. And once we are hooked on trying to make them reply, we donât know how to stop. We become anxious and upset. Why are they being like this?! Then after we calm down, we make ourselves a promise to never do that again. We say to ourselves, âyou made yourself look like a fool.â You apologize. You back down. You become a little more weak. Then silence plays the lead role.
Then a few more days go by and your body begins to welcome the pain. Rationality and reality starts to kick in. You ask yourself where it all went wrong. Was it you? Was it them? Did you argue too much? Did you push them away? Did you hurt them? You demand for answers. Unfortunately, you wonât find out until later and even if you found your answer, it never satisfies you.
The days get deeper into the year. You look back in the dark hole youâre climbing out of and you really have to count how long has it been. Youâre shocked. Beaten. Bruised. Betrayed. You really thought they would wake up one day and come back. But they didnât. Everyone was right. So you ask yourself a question, âIs this what I want to be like for the rest of my life?â You know the answer. Time had to show you. Sadly to say, this is only the beginning of it all. Just when you thought you were forgetting, moving on, being happy, laughing again⊠heartbreak has a funny, and inconvenient, way of showing you that it isnât through with you.
Out of nowhere, that moment comes that catches you off guard: memories, how they hold your hand when people let go. Flashbacks that hurt. It hurts you when you remember the time they said I love you for the first time, when you go to the places youâd been together. You still remember all the small things about them. Their scars, their ugly faces they made when they want to make you smile, their jokes. You remember how being held by them made you tingly inside. You remember those times you laugh and tease each other. Those good moments. Those long walks, those late night talks, those conversations about your future together, those road trips, those last minute plans. But those moments will become less and less. They wonât visit you much after while.
You will soon forget how the scent of their cologne/perfume always followed you home. Youâll forget how their good morning and goodnight texts used to mean a lot to you. Youâll forget how you used to have a fight with them like a child and settled it by being matured and understanding for each other. Youâll forget how their hands fit perfectly with yours, how their hugs and kisses were highly addictive to you. Youâll forget how hearing the sound of their voice lifted all your problems you were having the day. But most of all, you will forget how much you loved them. And one day, youâll look back and youâll ask yourself, âWhat did I see in them?âÂ
And thatâs how your heartbreak ends. It might be longer for some of you, I donât know. But we all grow from it - we become wiser, stronger. Do not think of heartbreak as despair, but as a blessing, a sign from fate, a heads up from the world. Maybe it is a reminder for you to start over again, a do-over, a chance to fix your broken heart. After all, itâs better now than later. We all have to accept that some things are beyond our control, that they are bound to happen. We only have power over ourselves and our decisions, not anyone elseâs. We have to accept the fact that people will screw up no matter how many times we beg them not to. People will fall short of our expectations, and more often than not, surprise us in ways we never saw coming. Our hearts may have gotten broken, but these scars will heal, one step at a time.
At the end of it all, youâre still alive. Youâre still breathing. You can still smile. You can feel pain. Youâre still human. And it will get better. I promise.
titsay
tangentwithtanner
2087
kianamaiart
prguitarman
