Blitz's Random Blog Of Anything and Everything

Whatsuppp! This is my main blog, mostly for whatever catches my interest. You can also check out my Art Blog >> lexadrawsstuff !

[falore52]

Hands down the funniest and best reaction SQQ had to anything ever was when LBH tried to only-one-bed them by getting two rooms for the three of them, and he straight up marched into the first he saw, shut both pathetic gays tf OUT, went “goodnight” and just left LQG and LBH to tear each other apart

[lewadny]

happy june to everyone, especially my fellow aroaces

[lewadny]

Listen

LISTEN

I'M SCREAMING THE MAIN SEQUENCE *IS* THE AROACE FLAG WHAT

[swordoftheberserkgutsrage-deact]

Can you believe this shit

[commandergoretusk]

bullshit

[niedopalek]

come on man

[thunderpibb]

we are fucked

[weriniapromts]

Kidnapped Binghe AU: Part 1 (SQH's POV)

LBH's POV, SQQ's POV

[USER, STOP IMMEDIATELY!!!] — a sharp system alert forced Shang Qinghua to freeze his hand, which was already poised to slit his opponent's throat. However, giving the enemy no time to recover or seize the initiative, he flipped the knife and knocked him out cold with the pommel. The body beneath him went limp. Immediately after, Shang Qinghua urgently checked to see if Luo Binghe was still breathing.

How on earth had he ended up in a situation where an unconscious sixteen-year-old boy — who also happened to be the protagonist of his novel, and whom he had just nearly killed — was lying right in front of him? This was all that brat's fault! Probably? Whatever, nobody asked him to touch those scrolls! He had been told in no uncertain terms that no help was needed! Aren't children taught to obey the orders of their elders? And now, this poor author was left to guess what he was supposed to do next!

One thing, however, was perfectly clear — he couldn't just let Luo Binghe go. Not after what had happened. Shang Qinghua lifted Luo Binghe into his arms and headed toward the storage room. Dumping him there, he searched him for any other weapons besides the sword already safely stowed away in his qiankun pouch, and then bound him tightly with the Immortal-Binding Cables, making sure, of course, to gag his mouth. Afterward, he ensured that nothing within the captive's reach could help him break free, and slapping a soundproofing talisman onto the door (also well out of the prisoner's reach), he locked the door. Then, running through all the taken precautions in his mind, the Lord of An Ding Peak set about cleaning up the aftermath of the fight.

Picking up papers from the floor and arranging them on the shelves — neatly this time, for he did not need a repeat incident — Shang Qinghua kept replaying the recent events in his head. A sense of absolute surrealism clung to him. How could he have defeated the Main Character? Especially so easily. Though, come to think of it, just how far did that plot armor extend? The System was remaining suspiciously quiet, and Shang Qinghua finally decided to ask if it wasn't the least bit concerned by what was happening.

[The protagonist must remain alive.] came the brief reply. "And that's it?!" Shang Qinghua was struck with amazement. [The protagonist must enter the Endless Abyss.] the System added. Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky froze dead in his tracks. But it was true; all the most critical plot checkpoints within the sect had already been passed, and indeed, only the Abyss remained. And if one were to look at Shen Qingqiu's behavior after his qi deviation, it became obvious that the canon had gone completely off the rails a long time ago. Luo Binghe was supposed to be enduring miserable abuse on his peak right now, but instead, he was the beloved disciple! Though, wait a second… Abuse! That was the answer! Before the Abyss, Luo Binghe was not invincible. That was why he had been able to overpower him so easily.

"System, do I understand you correctly that as long as Luo Binghe stays alive and ultimately ends up in the Abyss, I have free rein over what to do with him?" — finishing his cleanup, Shang Qinghua sat down at his desk with a tired sigh, since the paperwork wasn't going to vanish on its own, and he desperately needed a distraction. [User's assumption is correct.] the System chimed back, causing Shang Qinghua to drop his head into his hands: "Well, at least now I have a few ideas." Pulling a small bottle of soothing tonic from his qiankun pouch, he took a sip and buried himself in his work.

For the duration of one shichen, everything remained quiet. He was only briefly disturbed by his head disciple. The boy had been missed, and a search had already begun. Shang Qinghua ordered her to question all the disciples on the peak and to bring anyone who had seen even a glimpse of anything directly to him. But judging by the lack of visitors, nobody had seen Luo Binghe. Shang Qinghua could hardly believe his luck. Had the kid seriously managed to sneak all the way to his office without catching anyone's eye? Meanwhile, not a single sound came from the storage room, and this traitor had no intention of tempting fate by peeking inside.

After another shichen, a knock echoed at the door, and Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu appeared on the threshold. The Lord of An Ding Peak tensed up inside, but the bottle of soothing tonic he had finished by then allowed him to maintain complete composure. As it turned out, they had come to coordinate the search in the sect's outer surroundings and, by all appearances, had no intention of searching his house. Shang Qinghua decided to seize the opportunity to glean some details about the investigation. Shen-shixiong ignored him, keeping his eyes glued to the unfurled map, but Zhangmen-shixiong threw him a few more pieces of information. That brat had actually managed to leave without giving anyone a word of warning! Not a single trail led back to him. This author was almost terrified to think of what kind of price he would have to pay later for such incredible luck. But regardless, he now possessed far more valuable data — he knew exactly how the search parties would be moving! Having coordinated everything necessary, his shixiongs departed without ever making an attempt to search the hut.

[+ 10 V-points] Shang Qinghua nearly jumped out of his skin at the system chime ringing right in his ear. "How strange," — he thought, — "weren't they supposed to be B-points before?" Shang Qinghua thought absentmindedly, plunging right back into his documents. He needed to get as much done as possible, as he required a completely free day to execute his plans. The work was progressing wonderfully, precisely because it helped him block out the thought that he had a kidnapped boy locked in his storage room, a boy the entire sect was currently hunting for. And so the sky began to gradually pale — dawn was approaching. Shang Qinghua went out to the hall masters and told them to notify the peak that he would be absent for the day, as he was going to join the search for the missing Qing Jing disciple. Afterward, he returned to his house and, gathering his strength, opened the storage room door.

As Shang Qinghua stepped over the threshold of the dark storage room, a pathetic and harrowing sight met his eyes: after several shichen of relentless, futile struggling in suffocating isolation, Luo Binghe looked utterly spent. His once-immaculate disciple robes were crumpled and soiled, his hair was a disheveled mess, and on his pale, hollow face, which was slick with beads of sweat, dried tracks of tears from sheer despair had stained his skin. Bound hand and foot, with a gag tightly locking his mouth, he no longer looked like a proud main character — now he was merely a cornered sixteen-year-old boy, trembling with helpless fury, a wild, trapped terror burning in his bloodshot eyes as he stared at the traitor. [+ 50 V-points] echoed in his mind.

"Oh, you poor thing…" Qinghua murmured in a sympathetic tone, leaning down to wipe a stray tear from the boy's wet cheek. The boy thrashed blindly and let out a muffled groan. "None of this would have happened if you’d just been a good boy and stayed out of adult business. But now, I need you to be quiet and cooperative." — with these words, the Peak Lord drew a small vial from his sleeve containing the most potent sleeping draft he possessed, uncorked it, and poured the contents onto a cloth, which he then pressed firmly over Luo Binghe's face. The captive resisted frantically, but he hadn't been able to overpower Shang Qinghua when he was free and full of strength, let alone now; thus, he quickly lost consciousness, and by Qinghua's calculations, he was bound to sleep for at least half a day, if not a full twenty-four hours. This stuff could knock out a Black Moon Rhinoceros-Python. [+ 10 V-points] Qinghua, lifting his main character into his arms, noted that despite the change in the points' name, the System had suddenly become remarkably generous. Shang Qinghua touched a pre-prepared amulet and channeled a pulse of qi.

Shortly after, a portal opened inside his house, and out stepped his king. Mobei-jun swept a cold gaze over the bundle in his arms, and Shang Qinghua forced his very best servile smile onto his face: "Greetings, my king. This servant has just discovered something rather intriguing and requires your assistance." From what Airplane knew of his king's attributes, the demon possessed a non-zero chance of detecting and breaking the seal. Hopefully, he wasn't mistaken. But Mobei-jun did indeed frown as he stepped closer, extending a hand toward Luo Binghe. A flare of demonic qi erupted, and a faint crimson glow began to gradually bleed through the skin of the boy's forehead. Shang Qinghua immediately feigned utter shock: "Oh my! This is an even more fascinating result than I had anticipated!" Mobei-jun looked entirely unimpressed, so Shang Qinghua quickly launched into his rehearsed speech about how, with enough effort, this boy could be forged into a magnificent weapon. The capabilities of Heavenly Demons don't just grow on trees, even if he was a half-breed, especially considering that with the last Demon Emperor, the bloodline was on the verge of dying out completely. ([+ 30 V-points] the System responded.) Ultimately, Mobei-jun commanded: "Take the mask.", which could be translated as: "Get ready and disguise yourself, we are going to my palace." Shang Qinghua set Binghe down on the floor and stepped away briefly to change into attire far more suited for the North, woven with talismans that radiated demonic qi, and topped with a mask. Neither he nor Mobei-jun wanted to advertise the presence of a human spy to outsiders, even though his king's innermost circle was well aware of Advisor Xiang's true race.

On the other side of the portal, they were greeted by the startled, bewildered stares of his king's servants. Shang Qinghua — or rather, Advisor Xiang as he was now — shoved the boy into their hands and ordered them to clean him up, change him into sleeping robes (retaining his current clothes to be handed directly to him), and place him in a room within the northwestern wing. Well, calling it a room was generous; it was more of a highly comfortable holding cell, the kind used to detain prisoners who weren't meant to be thrown into the dungeons. He himself, after bowing low to his king, headed straight to the treasury to fetch a pair of sealing shackles. They were a far more practical alternative to the immortal-binding rope for long-term wear. Conveniently, they worked just as flawlessly on demons. Next, he made his way to what was now essentially Binghe's cell. Fortunately, the sleeping drug was still in full effect, and Shang Qinghua managed to snap the shackles onto him without a hitch. After that, he collected Binghe's old clothes from the servants and handed down meticulous, explicit instructions regarding the palace's newest resident:

keep the hearth fire burning continuously;

until further notice, feed him only once a day;

under no circumstances speak to the boy;

enter the room only when accompanied by a large bodyguard;

check regularly to ensure the captive does not attempt to harm himself, and if he does, bind the brat securely until this advisor arrives.

Ensuring his instructions had been thoroughly drilled into their heads, Shang Qinghua went to his king and requested his help in covering up the tracks. When he laid out his plan to Mobei-jun, the demon agreed with surprising swiftness.

The first step involved dropping Qinghua off at the requested location. The location was a small village, where Shang Qinghua headed while still clad in his Northern robes and mask. There, using a mix of severe threats and promises of gold, he forced the local scribe to take down a dictated letter requesting aid against monsters that had recently cropped up in the area (the threats, by the way, included bringing those very monsters straight into the village). Furthermore, he forced everyone in the village to swear that if anyone came asking questions, they would claim the letter had been dispatched a couple of days ago. This little maneuver, incidentally, netted him 30 V-points. Gathering the letter, Shang Qinghua slipped outside the village, changed back into his usual sect robes, and visited several search parties under the guise of checking on their progress. Afterward, at a different village, he purchased a suitably sized pig, which he drugged and dressed up in Luo Binghe's clothes, stuffing the letter into the folds of the fabric; he then contacted Mobei-jun, and together they teleported to the spot Shang Qinghua had chosen, not far from that very village.

During this time, Mobei had also been busy executing his own part of the plan, namely capturing the specific monsters Shang Qinghua had selected from the southern regions of the Demon Realm. And so now, his king stepped onto his sword right behind him, and together they soared over the riverbank. Beneath them, a rift split open, from which a pack of five monsters instantly tumbled out, predictably laying eyes on the pig that was just beginning to stir, and becoming thoroughly delighted by such a windfall. Shang Qinghua hadn't chosen these monsters at random. This particular species wasn't large enough to swallow a human whole, but they were ravenous enough to devour the bones. Moreover, in such numbers, even a seasoned cultivator would face significant trouble upon encountering them, let alone a mere disciple. Once the monsters had finished their feast, Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky descended closer to the ground and dropped the sword and scabbard in separate areas of the slaughter site, accompanied by a [+ 50 V-points] chime echoing in his head. Following this, his king returned to his palace, while Shang Qinghua continued to flash his face in front of the active search parties.

His false trail was discovered the next morning. They found the monsters too. He accompanied his fellow Peak Lord to question the villagers, allowing him to verify firsthand that the locals hadn't let slip anything unscripted. Everything was unfolding so flawlessly that it was actually becoming terrifying. Though there was one drawback — Shen Qingqiu refused to drop it, stubbornly insisting that this was all nonsense, even though he couldn't produce a shred of evidence to back up his claims. Seriously, what was wrong with that guy? Though he did feel genuinely sorry for him; this author had seen with his own eyes just how attached the man had become to the kid after his amnesia. Granted, vague suspicions regarding that amnesia were now beginning to take root in Shang Qinghua's mind. But that was something he could investigate another time. For now, he stepped up to one of his fellow Peak Lords and whispered mournfully: "Poor Shen-shixiong! To think this loss would drive him to lose his mind! I truly hope he recovers with time, especially since he hadn't fully mended after that qi deviation." His fellow Lord nodded in solemn agreement, casting a deeply worried look toward their martial brother. [+ 5 V-points] rang out inside Shang Qinghua's head, nearly making him crack a smile. This System had definitely been in an incredibly giving mood lately.

[sleepdeprivedcinnamonbun]

One thing I love in the phm book is when rocky is explaining how old he is and how long he's been in space for and while being amazed grace is also like "wait so this is EARTH units right like you're literally 291 EARTH YEARS old?!" and rocky's just casually like yeah you're shit at maths so I convert everything to your weird units now you're welcome

[assiraphales]

rocky always yells “enrichment for grace! enrichment for grace!” when he has a new invention to make the humans time more interesting on erid. grace, while appreciative, replies ‘I know I’m in a zoo enclosure but could we maybe not call it that? I feel like a bear getting thrown a pumpkin covered in peanut butter.’ rocky simply gives him a thumb, not wanting to explain that a significant amount of the population sees grace as the celebrity savior scientist who rocky keeps as a controversially young trophy wife and publicly lavishes in gifts

[catchymemes]

[valeriapryanikova]

THE BUTCHER / THE BUTCHERED

[emiqip]

"Bloodymary is fucking peak!!" I scream at the enraged mob, hollering at me to die.

"He's right!" A voice echoes from the back of the crowd.

I raise my head- Markiplier from YouTube is smiling at me.

[stereosonicanimatronic]

ryland grace is aroace. however he is also stratt’s dead wife, rocky’s red string of fate starcrossed soulmate, & intensely violently homosexual for mark “simon iron lung” iplier. all things are true & all things can coexist. peace & love on planet erid

[tryingtofindmycomputer]

I feel like if Xiang Fei didn't have bills to pay the whole PIDW story would have gone more of ORV route where Shen Yuan ends up as the only reader— the plot bunnies are getting me...

[obieros]

[obieros]

[atomikats]

my personal take on the matter

[chocochococoffee]

I don't know why tumblr aint letting me link fanfiction decently so I hafta do this shit myself i guess.

As you can see, this is exactly based of the blurb I wrote many months ago. I finally pushed myself to complete it and from a POV that I've tried too little myself so I am happy. I hope ya like it and please talk to me.

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

it's really funny how the entire world basically just blew the fuck up six short years ago and nobody wants to admit that that may have had some lasting consequences lmao

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

like so much of Everything today is premised on the idea that the earth-shattering catastrophe which happened within living memory of everyone older than a third grader has had no meaningful material or psychological effects on the general public and i don't think that's good, lol.

"(some of) the top-line economic indicators (sorta) recovered (in most places) so everything is fine and we don't need to talk about it" is not a sustainable framework for interfacing with reality

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

"why is everyone so angry and paranoid now?" "why is politics so dysfunctional now?" "why is [x] [y] and [z] now? blah blah blah"

2020:

[clowndraws]

mimicry

[woefully-undercaffeinated]

An incomplete list of things that employers commonly threaten that are 100% illegal in the United States

"We'll fire you if you tell others how much you're making" The National Labor Relations Act of 1935 specifically protects employees who discuss their own wages with each other (you can't reveal someone else's wages if you were given that information in the course of work, but you can always discuss your own or any that were revealed to you outside of work duties)

"If we can't fire you for [discussing wages/seeking reasonable accommodation/filing a discrimination complaint/etc], we'll just fire you for something else the next day." This is called pretextual termination, and it offers your employer almost no protection; if you are terminated shortly after taking a protected action such as wage discussion, complaints to regulatory agencies, or seeking a reasonable accommodation, you can force the burden onto your employer to prove that the termination wasn't retaliatory.

"Disparaging the company on social media is grounds for termination" Your right to discuss workplace conditions, compensation, and collective action carries over to online spaces, even public ones. If your employer says you aren't allowed to disparage the company online or discuss it at all, their social media policy is illegal. However, they can forbid releasing information that they're obligated to keep confidential such as personnel records, business plans, and customer information, so exercise care.

"If you unionize, we'll just shut this branch down and lay everyone off" Threatening to take action against a group that unionizes is illegal, full stop. If a company were to actually shut down a branch for unionizing, they would be fined very heavily by the NLRB and be opening themselves up to a class-action lawsuit by the former employees.

"We can have any rule we want, it's only illegal if we actually enforce it" Any workplace policy or rule that has a "chilling effect" on employees' willingness to exercise their rights is illegal, even if the employer never follows through on any of their threats.

"If you [protected action], we'll make sure you never work in this industry/city/etc again." Blacklisting of any kind is illegal in half the states in the US, and deliberately sabotaging someone's job search in retaliation for a protected action is illegal everywhere in the US.

"Step out of line and you can kiss your retirement fund/last paycheck goodbye." Your employer can never refuse to give you your paycheck, even if you've been fired. Nor can they keep money that you invested in a retirement savings account, and they can only claw back the money they invested in the retirement account under very specific circumstances.

"We'll deny that you ever worked here" not actually possible unless they haven't been paying their share of employment taxes or forwarding your withheld tax to the government (in which case they're guilty of far more serious crimes, and you might stand to gain something by turning them in to the IRS.) The records of your employment exist in state and federal tax data, and short of a heist that would put Oceans 11 to shame, there's nothing they can do about that.