Blitzogel's HDG Blog

Hi, welcome to my HDG blog. I am not that active, but I want to use this to write stuff about HDG and to announce the stuff I intend to write on AO3. HDG is a mature setting and therefore not appropriate for children.

[bug-the-chicken-nug]

hdg really do be dangerous sometimes because I Admit that there's like. a part of me that can't ever be "fixed" by "taking breaks" because like. fundamentally, it doesn't want a "break". it's not just "burnt out" at this point. it wants permission to just permanently give up and go back to being a coddled child forever. it wants Mommy to tell it "wow, you tried so hard, but it's okay to give up and never have to have big hard responsibilities ever again. it's cute that you're pathetic and needy and will never grow up.", even knowing that this means surrendering agency, because like. frankly, the ability to wield what society defines as 'agency' has never felt particularly 'real' or 'satisfying' to it anyway. it's always just felt like performing what everyone calls 'agency', but really just means 'doing whatever you're supposed to want, and whatever 'looks right', while being constantly uncomfortable and worn out the entire time, even while supposedly being 'true to yourself' or doing things 'for yourself', because even these things are being done according to certain external expectations of what's palatable, and what that's supposed to acceptably mean'. So like, the irony is that normal life has actually been way worse about choice being a total illusion than people criticize the affini for. Because even if you want to rebel and do things 'your way', and supposedly 'take control' of your life, there are certain unofficial 'good' ways you're 'supposed' to do that, which still involve suppositions that often just feel ableist and exhausting and still reinforce this overarching idea that the solution is always to "try harder" and "cope better" and to still ultimately be playing along and "keeping up" in a myriad of thankless, soul-eating ways. And there's a certain part of me that's like, whenever people go "but not everyone wants to just give up and be like a child or a pet, that's why the affini are bad!", I just think "Yeah, but basically everything else is always about and always catered to people like you". Practically everything else basically worships a certain idea of agency, where it constantly chases this idea that if you Just Try Hard Enough things Work Out, to the point that even when media tries to be like "you need to relax and recover" there's STILL a certain "way" this is supposed to look, there's STILL a certain "protocol" for how to be a Successful Rester, and you're always STILL supposed to go back to The Grind, or Else you're stupid and lazy and useless. Opting out is never ever actually an option, you're always supposed to just adjust or adapt or find some kind of "compromise", you're always supposed to just find some New Acceptable and Palatable Way to Keep Going and Keep Trying, and you always have to suck it up and act grateful by the end, no matter how miserable this process actually is.

[blitz-vogel]

Hi, so I am reblogging this to give them more attention and because I think there are a lot of people who read hdg who might feel the same. I certainly do. Pls. check them out and give them a like if you liked what they said.

[blitz-vogel]

Hi, this truly is a small milestone and it truly a surprise to me that so many people liked what I got to say, even if I did not say much. I really appreciate the positive attention, so thank you to everyone. The HDG community seems to be really active for it's size, so thank you.

I hope I will get my first fic out soon.

[blitz-vogel]

Why HDG is so comforting to me

Hi, so after I read several HDG stories, interacting with the community and writing my on short fic (I'm hopefully finished soon), I not only realized that HDG is a comfort setting for me, but also why.

One important reason is that there is someone who loves you and thinks that you are cute and adorable. Which is a stark contrast to the villainization of trans women by transphobes. So being a small, adorable and cute pet just feels nice. I also like headpats and cuddles, which is a plus.

Another important reason is that I miss being a child. As a child I was unaware of so many problems, that I practically lived in a protected bubble. Where I lived there was and is peace and to me war was something in the past that would not happen again where I lived and the army was just there because nations just have an army, but not because there was ever any danger of actually being attacked. I was also unaware of discrimination, famines, genocide, refugees who had to flee from where they lived and to often died during their way to safety. I was also unaware of the mistreatment of refugees and that states actually would stop them from finding a safe place, even if everyone in their shoes would have wanted the same. I was unaware of all the problems discussed and fought over in politics and the big societal problems in general. The place I grew up was and is luckily still a nice place and to me back then there was no reason why this would ever change, because I was unaware of climate change too.

Now as an young adult I am aware of all those problems and more, but I feel unable to change things in the world, because I feel small and insignificant, in a bad way, because the powers that be are either not able or willing to fix those problems. I can also not go back to naivety and just pretend that those problems aren't there and the people around the world are not suffering. But with the Affini in charge I could, because they would fix all those problems and more (like poverty). All those problems we were unable to fix ourselves.

I also miss that I did not have any real responsibilities at all and that I didn't have to do much back then.

Now I often feel overwhelmed with everything I have to do. I have to make sure I get my medical care and that my insurance pays for it. I have to inform so many institutions that about changes like a gender or name change. I have to uphold the commitments I said I would do, because I thought they sounded interesting and I want to help others and feel bad for solely depending on others. I have to think about so many stuff that it is often too much and I forget something, often less important things, but sometimes also important things.

As a floret I would have none of these problems, because mommy takes care of those things and makes sure I don't get overwhelmed. She would also stop me from overcommitting and assure me that I do enough just by being a cute little floret.

[blitz-vogel]

HDG is not inherently about pet play

Before you write an angry comment, please hear me out. Pet play is a type of kinky roleplay where 1+ partner takes the role of the pet and at least one other partner takes the role of the handler/owner. Often the "pet partner" takes on the role of a specific non-human domesticated animal. Now, does this fit the relation between florets and their Affini owners?

No, because florets due not roleplay being a pet and the Affini does not roleplay being an owner. Florets are legally speaking pet's and their Affini owner or owners are legally their owners too. You could only consider this to be petplay if you believe that pet's can roleplay being pet's and their owner's can roleplay being the owner's of them.

This does not really matter however and you don't have to take this seriously, but we can discuss for fun.

[blitz-vogel]

HDG and the Curb-cut effect.

The Curb-Cut effect is a phenomena in which features intended for people with disabilities benefit not only them but also others, which honestly is a nice reminder that helping one group can also often help another. Which is really beautiful.

A very big part of HDG is that there are systems and powers in play which you cannot fight nor resist. You are at their mercy and you simply have to trust them, which mirrors the real experiences of people with disabilities. (Honestly sheepwave expressed it better: https://www.tumblr.com/sheepwavehdg/768325548578603008/my-own-thoughts-on-this-are-nuanced-i-write-the)

I however have no disability at all by random chance. This aspect of powerlessness and being at the mercy of the system still however speaks to me, because I am trans. I know that I am part of a tiny minority who's rights and healthcare are at the mercy of a bigger majority as well as well-funded minorities over which I have no control at all. I have simply to hope that this bigger majority will not vote my rights away or will let it happen if it happens and do nothing against it as well as that this tiny minority with money and therefore power doesn't decide that trans people are the next best thing to rail up the average person so that they don't think about inequality. I feel so powerless. I might be able to defend myself against a single person who wants to harm upon me, but I cannot do anything against the system. I am at the end of the day dependent of the good will of others even if indirectly.

There is also another critique of HDG that plays into the feeling of powerlessness: capitalism. Capitalism is such a seemingly established economic system that destroying it seems nearly impossible. Everyone has to work within it and play by the rules which seem to be rules to foster constant competition. This competition is mandatory to thrive in life and sometimes even just to be able to get food or medicine. You could literally die due to being poor, so you gotta play in that competition no matter if you want it or not. No matter if it's just to much sometimes and you want to rest for a while and do nothing useful or even nothing at all.

The Affini Compact also represent a system that you cannot choose not to be part of, but at least it's a system that cares about your wellbeing and let's you rest if you need it, because you deserve it. You don't have to perform to be deserving of love, for the Affini you simply deserve it, which is why I would feel comfortable in their vines.

I hope this shows that HDG with their presentation of systems of powerlessness can be a reflection of a lot of systems of powerlessness and maybe they will shows us that we should show kindness to the powerless, not because we want to look good or because we are saviors and should be celebrated for that kindness, but simply because kindness is not something you should have to perform or be in power to receive it. So pls. be nice.

P.S.: I do want to compare my struggles in live with the struggles of people with disabilities and I do not want to downplay them, you have my respect for carrying on and I am grateful for all the nice HDG stories that I read.

P.P.S: I have been disrespectful in this post, then please inform me, so I can improve. I want to be my best self.