L Style G Style, Austin TX LGBT Magazine
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸

#extradirty
sheepfilms
No title available
h
Game of Thrones Daily

ellievsbear

shark vs the universe
Mike Driver
Keni
Interview Vampire Daily
occasionally subtle
đ
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr

Game Changer & Make Some Noise

@theartofmadeline
macklin celebrini has autism

Kiana Khansmith
𩵠avery cochrane đŠľ
seen from Australia
seen from Germany

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Bulgaria

seen from Finland

seen from Singapore
seen from France
seen from United States

seen from TĂźrkiye
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from Nepal
seen from United States

seen from Thailand

seen from Moldova
seen from Cyprus

seen from United States

seen from United States
@blkqueeraesthetics-blog
L Style G Style, Austin TX LGBT Magazine
Megz performs âRecoânizeâ with her band Magna Carda.Â
Megan âMegzâ Tillman
Written by Bella Hernandez
Purple sticky notes litter the pages of an ink drenched legal pad: reminders, ideas, words. The owner of the charmingly cluttered notepad sits across from me in the thai restaurant and coffee barâlong braids and bright smileâ ready to share intimate details with a complete stranger.
Writer, film maker and musician, 22 year old Megan âMegzâ Tillman is truly a triple threat. As a recent St. Edwards graduate with a bachelors degree in English Writing and Rhetoric, Tillman is currently a freelance journalist, working for publications such as L Style G Style.
In her free time, the young artist finds herself always creating, whether itâs poetry, music or screenplays.
âI guess Iâd say it all started from a super young age,â Tillman said. âReading so young just sparked my interest in writing, and Iâve been doing it ever since.â
Though creative writing is her true passion, Tillman uses her journalistic talents to further support the LGBT community.
âI try to paint the LGBT community in a more positive light,â Tillman said. âShow that weâre normal people: lawyers, doctors, stuff like that, rather than just the struggles of the community. Thatâs important too, but what I want to do is more uplifting. I just want to use my platform as an artist to spotlight LGBT youth.â
In addition to her work, Tillman considers social media to be an important platform to draw attention to underrepresented groups.
âI have such a love/hate relationship with [social media],â Tillman said. âIâm on it all the time, so I try to catch and remind myself that thereâs more to the world. But at the same time, itâs a great way to reach people and spread the word. Itâs like my news source. Twitter and Facebook really keep me up to date.â
Movements and spaces such as #BlackOut and Black Twitter gives Tillman confidence that, despite its pitfalls, social media has not only a place to further her art, but prove an instrumental tool in helping marginalized groups.
âI always keep my eye out for all of the big movements on social media,â Tillman said. âTheyâre awesome because they put the fire under you to want to do something. You see protests going on, or hashtags brewing, and it makes you want to be activeâit makes you want to participate. You end up asking yourself, âWhat can I do? What can I bring to the conversation?â And I think having that active dialogue is really important. There are a million problems in the world. At this point, we donât want to look for the problems, we want to look for the solutions.â
Tillman also finds inspiration from other black queer women such as Laverne Cox and Janet Mock, whose presence on social media help keep her both confident and informed.
âI think social media really works for black queer women,â Tillman said. âI can count on those active leaders to share information and put their stories out there. Even them just being themselves is a radical notion. I think in the grand scheme of things, the LGBT community is a small one, and we need to stick together.â
While the influence of black queer women through social media encourage her in a very literal sense to make a difference, women such as Octavia Butler, Assata Shakur, Katiuska Herrand and Toni Morrison inspire Tillman to make a difference artistically.
âBeing a black lesbian is definitely something Iâm always aware of,â Tillman said. âIt makes you more aware and conscious of what youâre putting out into the world because thereâs just no getting around it. Being straight and white is the norm, so when youâre anything other than thatâblack, queer, a woman, any kind of minorityâyou have a different perspective and interesting story to share. As a fellow writer, any time you see someone doing what you do, and seeing that theyâre successful is really inspiring. It gives you the drive and the push you need to do it yourself. I think thatâs what we really need in the LGBT community, to see ourselves visible. Itâs so powerful, and seeing these other queer artists just amazes me. Iâm just like, âfuck, weâre a powerhouse!ââ
Tillman describes her work as raw, gritty and organic; what you see is what you get. And this prevails whether it is through her writing, music or film. Despite any obstacles that may present themselves, Tillman has a clear goal for her art.
âMy big end goal is to tell real life stories about minority groups, the stuff that really isnât seen. I want there to be stories for us to relate to. After hearing Ava DuVernay, the director of Selma, speak at SXSW, I really realized that we canât ask people who donât care about our stories to tell them. We have to do that ourselves. Thatâs what I want to do. I want to tell the stories that are important to me, be the change that I want to see. I canât count on straight white men to take responsibility or do justice in telling our stories. If you have a story to tell, and a voice, use it! I think itâs important for us to say, âhey, these are our stories and they matter. We want to see them on the big screen, hear them on the radio, see them in art museums. Our vision is equally important.ââ
Keep up with Megz here
Cafe pour Deux - Megan Tillman
âA Confidence Highlighted in Rhinestonesâ by Carol Kino
Ms. Thomas also seems fearless in her exploration of sexuality and gender. While her work follows in the feminist tradition of subverting the male gaze and letting female subjects seize power, that they are practicing their allure on a female artist gives this dynamic an additional twist. And sometimes the femininity seems so extreme that one wonders if Ms. Thomasâs women are quite what they appear to be. âPeople always ask me, âAre you going to paint men?â and I always say, âWell how do you know that I havenât?â â she said. "Iâm also playing with artifice, whatâs real and not real, and how we perceive things.â
But perhaps the most intriguing aspect of her story is that she too was once a girly fashion plate. âThatâs why I have an understanding of these women,â she said. âBecause I was one of them myself.âÂ
This excerpt from the NY Times article âA Confidence Highlighted in Rhinestonesâ stuck with me because it highlighted how difficult it can be to express gender and sexuality as a queer person of color.Â
When you identify within the heteronormative scope of what it means to be a âwomanâ, your aesthetic performance is generally simple. You follow a set of guidelines which are widely accepted in our society: thinner waist, straighter hair, smaller frame, more makeup, etc. If you follow these guidelines, you will likely pass as ânormalâ
However as a queer person of color, your identity already operates so far outside of the heteronormative box that there are far less guidelines to determine what is ânormalâ. In fact, in my experience, I have seen that gender presentation - like sexuality - can be fluid.
Even Thomas herself (who now presents primarily masculine) remarks how in her twenties she was âmannequin-svelte and sported waist-length dreadlocksâ. This work exemplified for me how the ânormalâ aesthetics attributed to different identities are really useless, because each individual is unique with their own sets of wants and experiences.
This concept is further highlighted when Thomas implies that she may have already painted men (who were likely dressed as fabulous women). For example, in the work about âSheâs a Beautyâ, the subject (although they are dressed fabulously) cannot be specifically identified as biologically male or female. Many of the visual markers we may use to judge gender such as the subjects chest, hips and hands are all obscured. Is the subject a woman? Is it a man? Either way, it doesnât matter. The subject is both beautiful and fabulous; the gender identity for this piece does not matter--which leads me to ask, is it really that significant in real life after all?
Danyale Lewis and âBabyâÂ
2015
Recreation of Being by Zanele MuholiÂ
âBeing is an exploration of both our existence and our resistance as lesbians/women loving women, as black women living our intersecting identities in a country that claims equality for all within the LGBTI community, and beyond.âÂ
Danyale Lewis,
Fort Worth, Texas,
2015
Danyaleâs Recreation & Response to âFaces and Phasesâ by  Zanele MuholiÂ
My thoughts after viewing Muholiâs work was âWow, I really love the way she had all the women looking fierce and strong.â The way the women were posed without a smile caught my attention and I wanted to recreate it in my own way.I felt a sense of empowerment from these images of women that identify the same as me.Â
Iâm happy to be able to have witnessed a movement and I would like to share these images with others. I hope to spread awareness to others that identify as lesbian and might not come across images like this on a daily basis. Â
Ashley Horton, Austin Texas, 2015
Recreation & Response to Zanele Muholiâs âFaces & Phasesâ
âIn the face of all the challenges our community encounters daily, I embarked on a journey of visual activism to ensure that there is black queer visibility. It is important to mark, map and preserve our mo(ve)ments through visual histories for reference and posterity so that future generations will note that we were here.â
Throughout this semester, Muholiâs work âFaces & Phasesâ has stuck with me significantly. Ever since seeing the images I have felt almost haunted by the eyes of the black queer women who were a part of this collection. Some of the eyes are hopeful, some darkened. I believe that Muholi successfully accomplished her goal of making people realize and remember that black queer bodies are a part of the community and this world. We will not be silenced, we will not be erased.
My first encounter with Faces & Phases left me to feel slightly invalidated. Peering into the eyes of these brave subjects, I envied lesbian women from all over the world who could look at these photographs and recognize some of themselves in there. Most participants in Muholiâs collection are presented as primarily butch or masculine. I found myself discouraged by the fact that I did not perceive any of the women photographed to be aesthetically feminine.
After a few more weeks of contemplating this work and revisiting the eyes that have so haunted me, I realized that the intention of Muholiâs work was to show the diverse ways in which queer bodies represent themselves. As a person of bi-sexual identity, I often feel left out of the standard queer narrative, but contrary to my initial reaction, Muholiâs work is meant to âcommemorate and celebrateâ the diverse lives of black queers, and I, as a black queer person have the right to represent myself however I please.
I felt that it would be appropriate to add my own current âFaceâ to this project, in tribute to Muholiâs collection. I am looking forward to seeing how this face changes as I enter different âPhasesâ of my life. Who knows, someday, I might look more similar to Muholiâs South African faces than the picture Iâve included above. But either way, I am a black queer woman andâlike Muholiâs subjectsâI will not let my story be erased.
âThe viewer is invited to contemplate questions such as: what does a... lesbian look like? Is there a lesbian aesthetic or do we express our gendered, racialised and classed selves in rich and diverse ways? Is this lesbian more 'authentic' than that lesbian because she wears a tie and the other does not? Is this a man or a woman? Is this a transman? Can you identify a rape survivor by the clothes she wears?â
I feel fortunate to be a part of a movement so bold as Muholiâs, which brings awareness to black queer identities and the ways in which our lives are imperfect.
âFaces and Phases is about our histories and the struggles that we continue to face.â
Name: Danyale LeâCash Lewis âBaby Kashâ
Q: Tell me about yourself.
A: Danyale is more to herself. I don't like to be around big crowds but love being a leader to those who need the right direction. I love reading my bible and going to church. I like experiencing new things and Iâm very family oriented. I can be stubborn but I do have a heart full of love!
Q: Where does your ârap nameâ Baby Kash come from?
A: Baby Kash pretty much came from my middle name Le'Cash and my father, Danny Lewis. They always called my dad Kash an said I always looked like him so I decided to come with an artist name using my middle name and what I'm use to be called which is kash.
Q: How has your sexuality and/or race influenced your music?
A: My sexuality as a lesbian influenced my music in a good way. My sexuality has let me be more opened and diverse when it comes to creating a song.
Q: What has your experience as an artist been like so far?
A: My experience as an artist has been great. I didn't know how others were going to treat me or if they were going to be judgmental but instead it set a lot of positive influence in others life especially the kids.
Q: What life experiences have influenced your music?
A: My music is basically about my life overall and my dreams as well to let others know that they can be whoever they want to be just strive for it keeping god first.
Q: How have you felt that social media has helped you find a community as a black woman, lesbian woman or both?
A: I do feel like the social media has helped me as a black lesbian. It made me realize to be who I am and how to not be ashamed. I realized people don't judge me by my cover but looked up to me as a leader. That's why i don't mind setting a positive impact on others life who needs it.
Q: In what ways do you think social media has affected black queer communities? Â Â Â
A: The Social Media is not the same. You have other people who is talking about killing, others talking about sex, than you have others who is battling within themselves an talking about other stuff that don't makes sense... What they not realizing is they are preaching to these young kids even adults to which is making them react the way they do an not helping this media to grow positive but to help kill one another. If we had more positive role models I think this world would safer without wondering what will happen the next day!
Q: What would you say is the most difficult part of being a lesbian, black and female artist?
A: I couldn't really say the most difficult part of being a lesbian because I never really went through problems with who I am. Who I am made me go far with my music.
Q: Who inspires you in your life? Are there any lesbian/black women you look up to?
A: No lesbians I look up to, the only black woman that sets a positive role in my life and that I can say is a good leader is my cousin Lashawnda.
Q: What artists inspire you?
A: Different artist inspires me. I love August Alsina & gospel wise Hezekiah.
Q: What are your goals for your work? (Do you do it for fun or professionally?)
A: Now I do it for fun my music is based off of my life and staying positive so maybe I can reach out to others.
Q: Do you/have you/do you plan on selling your music? (Where can we find/buy your work?)
A: I'm still working on my music which is now going to be turned into a book that I'm working on called âThe Ms.Understoodâ. As of now I have one song I did 5 years ago called âDo Tha Kashâ thatâs available on YouTube, other than that I have songs that I recorded on my computer and have saved to a C.D., I hope to publish those soon.
Q: The Misunderstoodâ, Could you tell me more about it?
A: The Ms. Understood is based off of a true story that I'm sure a lot of people can relate to... it's about my child hood life until now. The struggles I faced with admitting my sexuality and coming out to friends and family. What I went through and how I became a stronger person closer to God.
Q: How does your music reflect your life vice versa?
A: My music reflects on my life in a huge way not only I leave a positive impact for others but even when I'm not doing my music I have others looking up to me saying thatâs the girl who made a difference.
Bleeding Heart
         Your meal of choice is hemoglobin and mine, it seems, is pain. Words like knives drip from your lips as blood from a fang and with them you open me, drain me, feast while I flounder and then leave me exposed. Vulnerable. Neck-tense and bone-weary.          And still I offer you my wrists, my veins, desperate to draw you in even as you do the same, seeking nourishment in my deprivation. Fulfillment in my emptiness. Pleasure in my pain.          You offer nothing in returnâno overtures of gratitude, no pretensions towards remorse. There is no need. You know, as I do, that I will not be satisfied until I am fully exsanguinated and you are fully full. While you absorb my life my core my essence, I am content simply to remain absorbed by your absorption. Undaunted by the icy pallor of my lips, you wait, transfixed, for the ebb of the heartbeat that sustains you, each beat a catalyst and a confirmation.           The coolness of my skin is eclipsed only by that reflected in your hard, bloodless eyes. Eyes opaque as pools of glass, piercing, searching. Offering no release and no relent. Windows to a ruthless soul.            Darkness becomes our only domain, time itself merely tangential. The air around us envelopes and consecratesâcallous, cold-bitten, and brimming with night.            As the last drop leaves my enervated limbs, you withdraw. No more to be given; no more to take. At last, you are saturated.           And I am sated.
âOn a Night of the Full Moonâ by Audre Lorde
Out of my flesh that hungers and my mouth that knows comes the shape I am seeking for reason. The curve of your waiting body fits my waiting hand your breasts warm as sunlight your lips quick as young birds between your thighs the sweet sharp taste of limes. Thus I hold you frank in my heart's eye in my skin's knowing as my fingers conceive your flesh I feel your stomach moving against me. Before the moon wanes again we shall come together. And I would be the moon spoken over your beckoning flesh breaking against reservations beaching thought my hands at your high tide over and under inside you and the passing of hungers attended, forgotten. Darkly risen the moon speaks my eyes judging your roundness delightful.
Omi Osun Joni L. Jones
From our interview with Dr. Jones
Q: What are your pronouns, and how do you identify?â¨
A: She, Her, Hers; Black, Queer, Woman. Â When I must name my nationality, I am African American. Â I am middle class by economics and by disposition/aspiration. Â Able-bodied, near-sighted, with a meniscus tear in my right near and mild arrhythmia. Â 59 years old. Â A mother. Â A partner. Â A Scholar/Artist who works for social change.
Q: Do you have any black/queer women role models? If so, who?â¨
A: June Jordan. Â Barbara Christian. Â Barbara Smith. Â Barbara Jordan. (Thereâs a poem in this list somewhere!) Â Alice Walker. Â Toni Morrison (who may not be out!)
Iâm not sure they are role models, but I sure have tremendous respect for them.
Q: What has your experience with social media as a black woman, a queer woman, or both been like? â¨In what ways do you think social media has affected black and queer communities?â¨
A: I have almost no relationship to social media. Â Iâm not on Facebook. Â I donât know how to Tweet. Â
I think social media has helped with political organizing, but has damaged our ability to work face-to-face, to be patient, dignified, generous with each other.
Q: How would you describe your personal aesthetic?
A: Sophisticated, Funky, Artistic, Warm (Wishful thinking, perhaps!)
Q: What inspires you?â¨
A: Beauty.
Q:Â What type of art do you produce? Which instruments and other mediums do you use?Â
A: Most formally, I am a performance artist. Â Informally I am a visual artist creating living environments and work spaces with flow, color and inviting design. Â
In terms of my performance work, my complete body is my instrumentâheart, voice, limbs. Â I paint the performance space with my body and voice creating visual pictures and psychic resonances. Â Â I tend to work in small or non-traditional performance spaces where I can have an intimate relationship with the audience/witnesses. Â The audience/witnesses are my collaborators. Â I practice being present as the most vital tool for strong work.
Q: In what ways has your sexuality and/or race influenced your art? â¨
A: My race is often a part of the performance text; I actively engage ideas of Blackness through words, ideas, and the aesthetics of the work. Â My sexuality, for the most part, exists as a subliminal presence in my work. Â I have only one pieceââTouchââthat explicitly addresses my Queer identity. Â Queerness, as in non-normative realities, is fundamental to my life. Â If we continue with the normative practices that have held sway for centuries we will not eradicate humanityâs most pressing issues. Â So, in my politics, I seek non-normative ways of interacting with people, of making art, of naming myself. Â I donât imagine this is the way you were thinking of sexuality, but it all works together for me. Â
Q: How would you say your art reflect your life?
A: The biggest gift of my performance life is that it encourages risk-taking, non-normativity as the norm, and being present to what I desire sexually and otherwise. Â When I live this way, I am full and vibrant and in tune with the Divine.
Q: What goals do you have for your art?â¨
A: I want to have fun. Â I want to share growth and beauty. Â I want to promote joy.
Dr. Jones, 6 Rules for Allies from Sharon Bridgforth on Vimeo.
An example of Dr. Jonesâ performance art
Full transcription:
So, in the spirit of Richards who exposed the trap of âpink slaveryâ in order to forge allies, and Lorde who told us that we must not replicate the very structures that divide us, I offer some reflections on what it means to be an ally to queer people, to women, and to people of color. And you are going to help me with this part of this address.Â
Rule #1 Allies know that it is not sufficient to be liberal. The liberal position allows those with optimal privileges to pretend that everything is âbasically OK.â Believing that things are âOKâ means a deep mistrust of the truths that people of color, women, queer people and poor people bring to light. The liberal position says that those of us with legitimate observations about injustice are really exaggerating, paranoid, and unwilling to see how we are creating the problem we expose. In this way the liberal position is actually a walk backwards, because it creates suspicion among the very people who might be allies. The politically liberal position is the hegemonic force of the academy and carries with it all of the numbing characteristics of any hegemonic force. Hegemony blinds us to what is hiding in plain sight. The liberal position supports the status quo of the academy which means that racism, sexism, homophobia, the perils of nationhood, and a commitment to class structures cannot be undone in the academyâunless we move toward a radical rather than liberal position. This first rule reminds me of the powerful ideas of scholar Joy James who makes a critical distinction between a soldier and a warrior. The soldier works for the stateâand therefore supports all that that implies. The warrior works for freedom. Allies must be willing to be warriors, and risk the support of institutions in our joint move toward deep liberation.Â
Rule #2 Be loud and crazy so Black folks wonât have to be! Speak up! Say it! Name it! If you are male, YOU be the one to tell your department chair that the womenâs salaries in your department must be brought line with those of the men. If you are white, YOU be the one to advocate for the qualified grad student of color applicant over the qualified white grad student applicant. If you are straight, YOU be the one to attend the Presidentâs speech tomorrow at 9:00 am when he speaks about partner benefits at the University of Texas. If you are Christian, YOU be the one to be sure that Muslim students have safe accessible places on campus for their obligatory 5 times per day prayers. This does not mean being reckless, strategizing is always important (as we will see in the next rule). Speaking up does mean being willing to relinquish some piece of privilege in order to create justice. Allies step up, they do the work that has left others depleted and weary.Â
Rule #3 Do not tell anyone in any oppressed group to be patient. Doing so is a sign of your own privilege and unconscious though absolute disregard for the person with whom you are speaking. Remember, it was a number of white ministers in Atlanta who advised Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. to be patient in reacting to U.S. racism. This call for patience prompted Kingsâ âLetter from a Birmingham Jail.â King wroteâ âWe know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was "well timed" in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years now I have heard the word "Wait!" It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This "Wait" has almost always meant "Never." We must come to see . . . that "justice too long delayed is justice denied.â Patience is not a political strategy. It is a diversionary tactic. It is a patronizing recommendation made only by those who do not believe that oppression is killing us all. Do you think that UT has doubled the number of Black faculty on campus since 2001 because we all waited for departments to see the light? If your answer is yes, then you are in need of very serious ally training. Planning while appearing to wait, is a strategy. Allies, plan with us. And I wonât say anymore because it would undermine the strategizing that is taking place while I am delivering this speech.Â
Rule #4 Recognize the new racism, the new sexism, the old homophobia. It is institutional and structural. Learn to walk in a room and count the people of colorâand know what you know. The absence of people of color in any space cannot be accounted for by chance or accident. Learn to see how many women are in charge. The absence of powerful women in any space cannot be accounted for by chance or accident. Learn to see and feel those spaces that are unsafe for queer people. The absence of queer people in any space cannot be accounted for by chance or accident. Allies know that racism, sexism, and homophobia are real and NEVER tell people, âYou could be wrong, you know.â Such a statement presumes that you have greater insights than those with lived experience inside of multiple oppressions. Recognizing the new racism, the new sexism, the old homophobia means listening, means acknowledging that these oppressions have not been honestly talked about enough. Playwright and novelist Pearl Cleage demands that theatre be her âhollering placeââa space where Black women can tell their stories. In her âhollering place,â everyone is welcome IF they are willing to truly listen to Black women and feel with the density of our lives. Feeling with the person to whom you are speaking, means NOT offering an objection to the gashes of racism or sexism or homophobia that she or he has shared with youâeven if holding onto your objection leaves your tongue bloody! In 48 hours, after contemplation and reflection, after those experiences have had a chance to germinate in your experience, you just might feel inside rather than outside of that personâs experience. Allies know how to spot oppression and to support others as they reveal their wounds.Â
Rule #5 When called out about your racism, sexism or homophobia, donât cower in embarrassment, donât cry, and donât silently think âsheâs crazyâ and vow never to interact with her again. We are all plagued by racism, sexism, and homophobia. Be grateful that someone took the time to expose yoursâremember, exposure allows the wind to whip away isolation and fear. Exposure is a step toward freedom. Allies welcome an opportunity to see how their choices, ideas, words may be erasing those around them. Itâs not about your intentâthat you did not intend to be sexist when you consulted with men rather than with women even though the women were in chargeâit is about the effectâthe damaging effect your choice had on others, the reinforcement of patriarchy that your choice made. Allies want to know when they have been contributed to the very oppressions they oppose. Allies know they are not above reproach.Â
Rule #6 Allies actively support alternative possibilities. Some of us publish in nationally recognized journals our departments do not know or respect. Some of us write in poetic or non-standard or elliptical styles as a matter of choice, not ignorance. Some of us paint our truths rather than write them. Some of us teach with a loose map. Because allies believe âthe masterâs tools will never dismantle the masterâs house,â allies consider the transgressive power in alternative academic strategies, a power that works to undo patriarchy, white supremacy, the insatiability of capitalism, and heterosexism. Supporting alternative possibilities is the only way we can all dream ourselves into the world in which we want to live.Â
As I consider the ideas that I have shared with you, it is clear that if we examine the powerful conclusion set forth by the Combahee River Collective, we will address each of the six ally rules I have presented today. This radical collective of Black lesbians wroteâÂ
âIf Black women were free, it would mean that everyone else would have to be free since our freedom would necessitate the destruction of all the systems of oppression.â
âenoughâ by Ashley Horton
is that word truly considered an amount? if so, what unit measures the count? is it pounds, grams, ounces, drops? does it have a limit? can it fill to the top?
the answer to these questions, I surely donât know whatever quantifies enough, my appearance wonât show âblack enoughâ âgay enoughâ âsmart enoughâ whatever, these troupes of âenoughâ seem to plague me forever.
âenoughâ to me has become a label of lacking, of oppression; wherever theyâre able to push me down into a marginalized crack apparently, in me, there isnât âenoughâ black. or âenoughâ queer, or âenoughâ gay regardless of whom I choose to date. I do not look âenoughâ for them so they feel the need to label and condemn.
someone will always see my credibility as empty, but I am the one who must represent me. and I have had âenoughâ of their stupid labels, when describing myself, categories are off the table.
I am biracial and itâs people I love I donât need a box to check, I have risen above these meaningless names and all of their trappings, isnât it âenoughâ for me to be happy?
(source)Â
blood
today, i am not a poet. the creases in my fingers do not exist to bend to the whim of my heartâs need to expel verbal aesthetics, my hand is at rest, the lines on my knuckles are not river or blood beds, nor are they hieroglyphic messages from ancestors carryongiveuptheydonâtseeyou readusonyourauntâscheek livelivelivelivelive
**** some days, the world kicks the back of my kneeÂcaps so i can fall asleep. here the air tastes like mango juice lip corner leaks at 104 degrees and i wake in want of this dreamâs origins. to taste the air of some forbidden place, and not write.
if heaven scribed haiti onto this earth, just so my people can stand on this split glyph with split tongues thunder split atmospheres and with split hearts, spin and weave songs of faith to keep at bay a naked reality of loneliness too ugly for personal religion to let walk undressed, and survive, then they are the true poets.
*** some days, thereâs more poetry swung from the neck of a headless chicken pouring forth scarlet spurts of freedom as his lifeless bodies thumps to the dusty ground, than in me.
Copyright Š 2014 Stephanie Ambroise All Rights Reserved
www.poetessparlant.wordpress.com