Tying up loose ends

There are some people you wish TO-UN-MEET

[blog-tie-up-ends]

After I spent my 2021 in counseling after getting depression and PTSD after being involved with the writing part of your fandom ( and no I'm not "joking"), I decided to not come back.

I used to have a small blog named agentalpha, for gifs and pics of Pedro Pascal but needed to close it down because some people from the community and their entitlement to my work.

Then I decided to share a fic no one cared about which was great mistake.

Just as that compliment I made to a writer that their writing is great . I should have stayed silent reader.

At the end I was dumped because some other person behaving like 12 years old.

And as it is too late for it already I need to clear some things up before I do because the way people acted was anything but mature and I paid the price of your behaviour.

ANYWAYS, HERE SOME THINGS I WANT MAKE CLEAR ABOUT ME, after NO ONE had the common courtesy to behave like an adult.

1. I DON'T do HATE / OFFENSE

AND I WILL TELL YOU WHY I DON'T .

I write fiction since 2007.

I HAVE DEALT WITH HATERS.

I WON'T DO THAT TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.

I'm also too old for petty dramas and doing childish stuff like that.

THAT IS WHAT I SEND to one of your....POPULAR AUTHORS. Yes, I always do screenshot my asks in case some one decides to be...."offended" or something.

SEE ANYTHING OFFENSIVE?

NO.BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING OFFENSIVE HERE.

Nevertheless my ex-favorite author DUMPED ME BECAUSE OF THIS BECAUSE THAT PERSON is their bestie or whatever their motives were.

I DIDN'T DESERVED ANY OF THIS HOWEVER.

Because all I gave them was support on their writing.

Well....Didn't mattered much apparently. Because I 'm not popular. And that seems to be all that matters to them.

2. I NEVER interact with fiction that is not to my taste. In no way.

I keep to myself and I only interact with fics I like.

That's about it.

Here some more:

PERSONAL BOUDARIES STATED POLITELY AREN'T OFFENSE

I COULD SLIP INTO ANXIETY ATTACK If I interact with certain contents. And I definitely love my ability to be able to breath.

I could read almost everything except things that contain some forms of abusive behaviour (including consent stuff).

I DON'T HAVE PROBLEMS WITH PEOPLE PERSONAL LIKES - kinks, and personal preferences included.

No matter how exotic they might be. I have my own likes, that might not be to someone else's taste.

And I'm NO double faced a$$. Would you kindly not make me one.

What people like is none of my business. It's not my business what they write on their blogs either.

Unless they think that they are better than everyone else, and have more rights than the others.

--

So would you kindly, before listening to gossips or whatever about someone else, FIRST go CHECK FOR YOURSELF WHAT IT IS, ASK THE PERSON YOURSELF WHAT'S GOING ON AND MAKE CONCLUSION BASED ON THEIR ANSWER.

That's the right thing to do.

And NOT DUMPING AND ABANDONING PEOPLE THAT SUPPORT YOU AND LIKE YOU AND YOUR CONTENT, BASED ON MISUNDERSTANDING, INCOMPLETE DATA AND ( MAY BE) BAD MOUTHING BY ANOTHER.

( Tip: The popularity of one person, should not be your correct criteria to take action against someone else who is not.)

------

And before you read any of the posts here, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING MORE ABOUT ME.

Things I don't mention, usually, but now I need to, because no one cares about common courtesy, mutual respect and other's people limitations:

I have social anxiety and rejection sensitive dysphoria ( google it)

I get sensory overload by too much online interaction and data and especially in large online groups

I have hard time reaching to others even for friendships - online and otherwise - and after all that....well you can guess for yourself.

That's me being done. After I say what I have to I will be on my way.

Those are NOT HATE posts.

Excuse the cynical sub-tones.

[lavendertales]

This is gonna be a bit of a rant, but finally, someone voiced my exact feelings and thoughts and I wanna give her a shoutout and a thank you first for putting things in perspective a little.

@maybege recently answered a question about why she “doesn’t like Rough Day” (here) and honestly, I’ve been feeling exactly like how she described for months. I read the first few chapters of RD a while back and wow - holy shit, of course it’s so hyped and loved. It is really good.

But if you’re a fan of it and you say things like “it’s the superior one”, “nothing will ever top this one” or “I’m only gonna read this fic for the rest of my life” etc. it’s extremely discouraging and downright depressing to the rest of the fanfic writers who are putting their work out there for the world to see.

I’ve experienced this firsthand. I read it and I immediately started comparing my work with theirs. Which is a no-no because every writer is different and every writer has their own style and ideas. I started wishing that I would get thousands of people to talk about my fics, to draw art based on them, to gush over them day and night, and it is, again, depressing. When I wrote “Bad Guy” and received so much positive feedback and I’ve seen my followers increase and interact more I was so so happy and grateful, and I am so happy and grateful still, every single day because this is why I write! This is why I’ve been doing it for 12 years!

But in my mind, I thought it’s never gonna be as good as RD. It’s never gonna rise up to that level so what’s the point? What’s the point of me constantly trying to improve my fics and my writing if nothing in this fandom is gonna be as good as RD?

The issue is with said toxic fans who put it on a pedestal and invalidate other fics, even invalidate the existence of other fanfic writers, which is very insulting and disappointing. No writer should ever feel this bad, this terrible, to want to rise up to some standards imposed by fans who are obsessing over a single piece of art when there are many others out there just as good or even more incredible.

Again, absolutely no shade or hate or anything to the author or the fic! It takes so much effort to write like that, and they’re doing incredible and they are immensely talented and gifted.

It is a matter of taste, of course, everyone has their own likes and dislikes, but when you obsess over something to the point where it becomes problematic and it’s hurting others, that’s when it is an issue.

[maybege-archived-deactivated202]

No writer should ever feel this bad, this terrible, to want to rise up to some standards imposed by fans who are obsessing over a single piece of art […].

[myownworstenemyyy]

The issue is with said toxic fans who put it on a pedestal and invalidate other fics, even invalidate the existence of other fanfic writers, which is very insulting and disappointing.

EXACTLY !!! it’s not the fic itself or the author, it’s the people that rave about it at such a ridiculous level, as if it’s the one and only Mando fic out there. Everything @queenofthefaceless said is exactly how a lot of writers in this fandom feel. It’s borderline soul-crushing to see one fic getting all the attention when there are so many other amazing stories that, if given the time of day, could be just as successful and loved as this fic. Give everyone a chance to be recognized.

[blog-tie-up-ends]

I 've seen that same behaviour while reading a fic about another character. I agree with you all. Also once before that "day" fic was mentioned again and I checked what it's all about. After I saw 4000 notes I decided not to read any further.

Also THIS:

EXACTLY !!! it’s not the fic itself or the author, it’s the people that rave about it at such a ridiculous level, as if it’s the one and only (character-name) fic out there. .....It’s borderline soul-crushing to see one fic getting all the attention when there are so many other amazing stories that, if given the time of day, could be just as successful and loved as this fic. Give everyone a chance to be recognized. @myownworstenemyyy

I had that one fic no one cared about so I deleted it. As a result I got severely depressed, developed PTSD (needed counseling for half a year,) abandoned my fan fic writing and I will frankly never try fan fiction again.

Now I would not care, the same way people did not care about my writing, my only fic by the way that I stopped midway, because no one cared to check on it, it was getting 10 likes for 12 hours writing a day and regular updates, and I had NOT even a single comment on at least one chapter.

Nothing.

Meanwhile I was watching people get praised and put on pedestals for the same level writing as mine. Writers getting more than 99 plus notes comments included. Also watching them receive asks, interest and engaged with their writing people; people constantly asking what will it be next, making mood boards, Spotify lists and what not, talking with each other and the author....And the author was like ..." I'm so damn happy I didn't stop my xxxx fic"...

But I did stop mine. And I didn't even finished it. I got...silence, even though when my fic was not bad based on other fanfics I have read. I had ONLY one fic, and I said it so many times. That meant that I would not write another piece.

No one cared.

It WAS HORIBLE AND DESTRUCTIVE - to me as an author and person, to my self esteem, to my writing. It was poisoned, so I dropped it, because it became toxic.

And for additional "fun" -I was also abandoned by the one author I supported. I was keeping fan blog for one of their fics. ( I will NEVER do that again for anyone) And then I was dumped. Because they preferred the support of a popular person and just left me, after I asked politely the popular person not to use my DELETED gifs for their fic. So - I invested time into someone who would silently dump me for no reason. I don't have words to say how that made me feel. That was too much drama for my liking one only comparable to high-school clique behaviour.

So not only my fic meant nothing to anyone, neither did my support.

So I left the entire fandom as a result. Nothing to do here anyway.

But it didn't end here.

After all that I decided that I would never support a person that has more than 50 notes. I'm sorry but the populars have enough support as it is. And I do not care how good they are, no matter how cold that may seem to anyone. I would not even give a like to people that have more than 50 notes.

Because after I saw how new authors, and authors in general get treated in here, I will not support anyone who does not support others.

I mean people they did not know.

I don't care who their friends are. I want to know people who write good and who are not someone's...."friends".

Also- I decided never to read a recommended fic, especially by a popular blog, even if it mean not to read anything.

That was what people in this fandom did to me.

And because at the end of the day, the one and ONLY reason the popular writers become popular is NOT because of how good they are.

Yes, sometime the things may seem like that but....It's not the only thing. Because, and more often than not They simply were at the right place at the right time, writing things everybody seems to love.

And that's about it.

I could guarantee to you, that under other conditions that same "so talented and skilled" person could stay in the shadows forever.

( and I do talk about that in general, not in particulars.)

But now that same person gets lucky ( the work must be done, no question) , and every one thinks it's because they are "soooo good".

Which is not the whole truth.

Anyways that's for some other day. Because I'm done with that here fandom. It was too damaging for a thing that should have been...fun.

._.

[tips]

CC-004 Creating Content Be Kind. Source.

Sourcing your posts isn’t just smart, it’s also the right thing to do. For content creators, it means getting credit for what you make. It’s also etiquette when you post content from other sites.

Every Tumblr post allows you to add a source at the bottom of the post. If you're reblogging a post, the source might already be included. If you’re uploading your own content, you’ll want to add your blog as a source. Here’s how to add a source to your post.

Desktop

Click the gear icon in the top right corner

Click next to “Content source”

Add the source link. If it’s your content, put your blog URL

Mobile

Tap the three dots next to “Post”

Tap “Content source”

Add the source link. If it’s your content, put your blog URL

📝

[blog-tie-up-ends]

Last year I was happy with my blog, where I was posting gifs and pics about a fave actor of mine.

And all was fine.

Then I made a horrible mistake, to share my writing.

First - because I thought I had friends there.

Second - because I got inspired by a great writing of another author, to share my thing.

Thought everyone is so supportive, as they are to them and other people that were staying on top of the search.

Turns out - THEY.ARE.NOT.

NOT TO EVERYONE.

And posting became a thing I regret still.

As a result, and after other..."pleasant" things and as a result how I was treated, I developed PTSD, and wasted another year in counseling and dealing with it.

So I use that blog here to tell my story. And stop dwelling.

I'm done though, so this is just a warning for whoever cares.

--

See my pinned post before proceeding.

This is NOT hate blog.

[blog-tie-up-ends]

Why common courtesy is important and why is important people to know what environment they are going in

If you don't now why this is imprortant let me lay to you the facts:

I personally have social anxiety and rejection sensitive dishoria ( google it.)

And next to all, that also means, that I'm extremely careful, because I need to be, when interacting with my environment.

I try to avoid triggering places, because I Can slip into anxiety attack , panic attack and ect. And believe me it's horrible.

Writing fiction was supposed to be fun and safe place.

And with safe, I mean, a place where I could voice my opinion freely, of course not being rude on purpose.

Which it WAS NOT.

I needed counseling because I got PTDS symptoms which were interfering with my life. I became depressed, and I'm not diagnosed with depression.

But there are people who are.

Therefore this is me, doing my part.

I'll abstain from mentioning personal names. However, I want you to be aware that that behaviour may be harmful, very harmful to people.

Because nowadays people don't even care about common courtesy.

-- BEFORE READING ANYTHING ON THIS BLOG READ MY *MY RULES FOR MY ONLINE CONDUCT * I ALWAYS follow them to the letter.

There is NO hate in NONE of the posts on this blog.

I love detailed observations which means long posts

If you are EASILY offended by sarcasm, observations, cynysm and correct data - please move along. I DON'T OFFER OFFENSE HERE.

But I do offer my observations.

[blog-tie-up-ends]

Disclaimer:

That's me being done.

So be kind, and do not lecture me to get a life.

I had a life before I tried to "fit in" your fandom and had to to deal with its writers guild.

And then I got PTSD as a result.

So this is me tying up loose ends, making things clear, and leaving warning for people, and what they could encounter, after no one in that fandom speaks when they witness improper high school clique behaviour.

For the stubborn:

THIS IS NOT HATE POST / POSTS blog.

THERE IS NO OFFENSE / HATE HERE. I DON'T DO HATE.

BUT I DO NOT LIKE when PEOPLE DON'T ADHERE TO COMMON COURTESY RULES, AND THEN ARE BEING PRAISED FOR THAT.

.....Other post will follow...

--

Word to the wise: If you don't want to kill your own fandom, by encouraging and populating it with cliques - you better start paying attention.

[blog-tie-up-ends]

[theintrovertnation]

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