The boys were chillin' out with their frat brothers in the big room on this fine Saturday morning in Phoenix. There were just a few clouds in the blue sky. The temperature was in the low 70s. It was a perfect day for a hike, Noah thought as he checked his phone.
It was "Free Food Weekend," the last Saturday of the month, courtesy of the House Manager. The food truck just drove away, this one specializing in grilled-cheese sandwiches offering a choice of add-ons. Noah ordered one with migas, while Andrew opted for brisket. In the rotation, this was their favorite truck.
Noah was finishing his coffee when he asked Andrew, "Hey man, let's go to Papago Park. I wanna hike up to the Hole in the Rock. It's too nice outside to spend it sitting indoors all day."
"I think you got somethin' there, Noah. We haven't been up there in a while. Sounds like a plan."
Noah knew what was next, that is, the "best poop of the week," the Saturday morning shit. They had pizza for dinner the night before. Noah's gut was also brewing from the migas-filled grilled cheese sandwich and coffee. He needed to go, now.
"I need to take a shit, and I'm sure you do too, Andrew. Lead on."
"Yeah, that brisket was legit tasty. They get some good trucks here every month." They headed for the toilets.
As they rounded the corner, Noah saw Adam on the left commode, wiping his ass. Adam was pre-med, tall and wiry, and wore glasses. He had a reputation of being a nerd, but a cool nerd. Noah liked him. They got along well. Andrew quietly sat down on the open toilet.
"I'm glad you're wiping your ass, Adam, I need to go, bad," Noah said.
"I knew you were coming, Noah," he replied as he lifted his ass cheek to wipe two more times while Noah stood there watching. Andrew had not yet released his load.
"Thanks for warming up the seat for me."
The toilets were so busy every morning that Mr. Stockman, in charge of maintenance at the house, had to make multiple rounds to restock toilet paper. He had seen every guy in the house shitting, most of them dozens of times. For him, it was just a job.
With practice, Noah had perfected the ability to catch glimpses of the guys' shit loads without them knowing what he was doing.
As Adam rose from the toilet and turned to flush, Noah saw his shit. Wow, he thought. From experience, he knew that there was no correlation between a guy's size and the amount of poop he could produce. Adam was a reliable bowl-filler, a worthy contender in "the game."
Noah saw a remnant of shit in the bowl as he sat on the warm seat. He said to Andrew, "It was nice of you to wait for me, bro."
"I know how much you like pooping with me," Andrew answered. As time passed, Noah noticed that Andrew was pushing the envelope. Their banter was increasingly sprinkled with sexual innuendo and references to poop and pooping. He liked the progression, but never mentioned it to Andrew.
Andrew let loose. Today's drop was different from his usual poop sessions. He didn't fart first, and, instead of a dramatic, all-at-once release, Noah heard what sounded like a large number of mushy pieces of shit hitting the water in rapid succession. It lasted almost five seconds, with a big finish at the end. He was empty.
As usual, Noah followed Andrew. He knew this would be a quick one. The cramps started just after he finished his coffee. When he pushed, the whole mass exited at once, splashing his ass with toilet water.
"Damn man, you did have to go," Andrew commented.
"You know what pizza does to me, and it's Saturday!"
"All right boy, get to wipin' that little ass of yours. We need to get moving."
Noah watched Andrew from the corner of his eye as he raised his muscular bubble butt off the toilet seat, no easy feat, considering its size. His hand disappeared inside the deep, dirty ass crack. Noah knew that Andrew would inspect the first two pulls of paper, which he did. The initial piece was covered with brown. The second wipe was almost as dirty. Andrew didn't check again until after the fourth pass.
Noah began wiping. He didn't know if Andrew knew he was putting on a show, but he suspected he did. He raised his left cheek up high, buried the paper in his crack, starting at the bottom, near the smooth taint, paused on the hole, then moved his hand upward, checking after the first wipe. He thought it would be dirtier.
He continued to wipe while monitoring Andrew's progress. After five, Noah was done. Andrew was still wiping.
Noah wanted to see Andrew's load, and, curiously, he wanted Andrew to see inside his bowl. He pulled up his pants and stood in front of his toilet for a moment, looking at Andrew, who by now was finished.
"You 'bout done, Andrew," he asked, which prompted Andrew to look in his direction. No doubt he saw Noah's poop.
"Yeah, I'm finished. That was a good fuckin' load. Lotta cleanup involved." Noah waited in front of Andrew as he stood up, getting full view of the bowl. He barely saw any water; the toilet was filled with shit turds and stained toilet paper. He watched intently as the whole thing swirled away.
Noah was glad that the house had flush-valve toilets. With a house full of strapping young men, he knew tank toilets in this setting would have been problematic.
Papago Park is a massive city park, with 1,200 acres in Phoenix and almost 300 acres in neighboring Tempe. It's one of the most popular parks in the sprawling Phoenix metro. The most prominent attraction is "Hole in the Rock," a geological formation where people gather daily to enjoy the view and people-watch. It's a quick and manageable hike, just 0.3 miles to the top.
As they walked up the trail, with Andrew leading the way, Noah decided to make good on a promise he had made to bring up Andrew's "big, fat ass." This will be fun, he thought.
"Hey Andrew, did anyone ever tell you that you have a big ass?"
(laughing) "Not in so many words, you little shit! You checking out my butt, are you?"
"With you in front of me, it's hard to focus on anything else," Noah joked.
Noah continued. "Seriously (laughing), we talked about our dicks a while back. You wanted to know the story about me being uncut. I was curious to know what it's like to have a big dick. We got to know each other better after that conversation. Let's keep it going.
"This time I want to explore your ass. Hold up! That didn't come out right!"
"I'm worried about you, Noah."
"Anyway, I got questions. Did you have a big ass when you were growing up? Is it a family thing? Or, did it kinda show up when you played sports, when you started spending so much time in the gym? Lots of athletes have big butts, especially football players."
"You've clearly put some thought into this line of questioning," Andrew deadpanned.
"I was kinda a scrawny kid growing up. I was smaller than a lot of boys my age. Then, around fourteen, I had a growth spurt. I grew about a foot in a year. I started playing sports around that time. My dad played football and baseball in high school, so he got me interested in team sports, once he saw me getting taller and stronger. We were close in those days. We still are. My dad is a great guy.
"Now that I think of it, my mom's side of the family is 'endowed' back there, so to speak. So I guess that's where some of it comes from.
"When I started bulking up, I noticed that I had to get new pants more often, because the ones I had were too tight in the legs and butt. I glanced in the bathroom mirror, and yes, the old Fruit of the Looms were pretty tight. Looking at my bare ass from the side, it was pretty round, but at the same time muscular and tight. That's the way I wanted it. No jiggle!
"Hey, I'm on TikTok too, and there's almost as many guys shakin' their ass on there as girls. Dudes are workin' it. And the girls tell me they like my ass. So I'm fine with it. It may be big, but it's not fat! It's all good, man."
"Wow, Andrew. Thanks for being so honest. That's one of the reasons I like you. I like your dad, too. He's always been nice to me.
"I saw just how big your butt was when we took a shit together for the first time, that morning after I moved in the house. Remember you put me at ease about pooping with the guys. I'm regular-size, and I noticed that your ass overpowered the toilet. Mine barely covers the seat. I have seen a few guys on the toilet, you know, my buddies kidding around, but none of them were built like you. And I never shitted in front of 'em. Too shy. But not anymore!
"I hope you don't mind if I tell you something kinda private. So, here goes. I thought it was hot hearing you farting and pooping that day. I never really thought about it until now, but it was cool that you were so relaxed. No big deal. I'm gettin' really open here, but I got excited when I saw you wiping your ass. Was a first for me, that's for sure! And no one ever saw me wiping before. You were the first."
"Damn, Noah, that's a lot to take in. You don't like me in 'that way,' do you? Not that there's anything wrong with that," he laughed. Andrew's dad watched a lot of Seinfeld back in the day. He didn't think Noah got the reference.
"No, but I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. The poop stuff is more about intimacy with a guy. It's not sexual, even if my dick starts growing, like that time we took a shower at the Grand Canyon campground. I had to turn around so you wouldn't see my dick. You do look good naked, you know that.
"I'm not gay, but at the same time, I'm not completely straight. I know about LGBT, so I went on the Internet to do some research. I found out people now use LGBTQ+. Looking at the letters, I believe I'm a "Q," queer or questioning. I don't want to label myself. I'm a man all the way. I just don't know what my true sexual orientation is yet. I'm young and I have plenty of time to figure it out, don't you think?"
The hike to the Hole in the Rock had taken a serious turn, Noah thought. In no way was he nervous or sorry he had opened up to Andrew.
"Don't worry, dude. Hey, by now you should know you can tell me anything. You're good. I don't judge. Just don't say you want to blow me when we get back to the house. I'm not ready to go there.
"I will admit that I do like pooping with you, too. It's like a competition. For a little dude, I'm surprised by how much shit comes out of that round butt of yours. Sometimes you poop more than I do. And I shit big, as you've seen many times."
"Now I see, Andrew. I knew it. You were checkin' out my ass too!"
"Yeah, only because we see each other in the showers every day. Unlike you, I got chest hair, and there's plenty more around my dick and balls. My armpits and asshole are hairy, too. I see you trim your pubes, but your butt hole is smooth.
"Your ass isn't big and wide like mine, but it is round, and it sticks out. I bet you get compliments, too. Dudes spend a lot of time doing squats trying to work those glutes so they can get a bubble butt. Yours is natural!"
"Yeah, I got used to women and men checkin' out my butt in public a long time ago," Noah replied. "I don't know who gets more attention, your ass or mine."
They were at the top. What a view.
Andrew said, "I've been coming to this place since I was a little kid, and it never gets old. I love Papago."
"Yeah, it is beautiful. I'm glad we hiked up here," Noah replied. With a crowd around, talk of penises, balls, butt holes and pooping was done.
They sat down on the rock, taking it all in, silently, for twenty minutes, phones untouched. There was a soft breeze.
"You ready to head down, Noah? I'm startin' to get hungry."
As they retraced their steps down the path, Noah remarked to Andrew, "Thanks for listening to me. I'm still figuring out what's next. I hope I can still come to you, 'cause my head is spinning right now, and I know I'll need someone to talk to."
Andrew reassured Noah, "I'm here for you. Whatever you need, just ask. And we'll keep all this to ourselves. No reason for anyone to know our business."
"Thanks, Andrew. I appreciate it. Now, let's go get some lunch. One last thing. I'll meet you in the bathroom tomorrow morning at the usual time. I'm on the left, you're on the right. You can pick the winner."
"You know I'll be there with you, Noah."
