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[blogsbywendy]

Love Is Not a Transaction — It’s a Mirror

Most women dream of dating a man who is financially stable and well-off. Few would voluntarily step into a relationship full of hardship with a man who is struggling.

But let’s look at it differently. Even without great wealth, a man who truly loves will not hesitate to give—his time, his emotions, even his money.

On the other hand, a man with everything—money, status, success—won’t easily open his wallet if there’s no genuine affection behind it.

The real question isn’t about how much he has, It’s about how deeply he feels for you.

Because if a woman begins to measure love by financial means, power, or social standing, then the man, in turn, might judge her by age, appearance, or body type.

The love market is colder than we think. It’s not a place where anyone gets everything they want just because they believe they deserve it.

→ So understand this: Love with clarity. Love with caution.

[blogsbywendy]

Personal Standards — The First Step Toward Self-Respect

There comes a point in life when one begins to truly recognize their own worth — to feel what's missing, what needs healing, and what can no longer be compromised. That’s when it becomes essential to get serious about choosing a life partner.

At that point, it’s worth creating a set of personal standards — and learning to make choices based on them. Not to be difficult, but to serve as a reminder:

A meaningful relationship isn’t meant to fill a void, but to support growth and protect the heart.

And the beautiful thing is: when choosing based on those standards, we gradually grow into the kind of person who aligns with them. If one desires a kind partner, one must live with kindness. If one longs for a safe love, one must learn to love oneself without dependence.

So, what kind of person is truly worth walking beside?

Someone whose life path, mindset, and pace of growth align with your own.

Someone who makes you feel loved and protected — without needing to hide parts of yourself.

Someone who allows you to be wholly yourself, without pressure to fit into a version they prefer.

Someone who listens to understand — not just to win the argument.

Someone willing to share the journey — not just expect attention or one-sided affection.

Having personal standards doesn’t mean being picky. It means knowing what you truly need and deserve. The process may take longer — but it leads to the kind of happiness that doesn’t come from rushed or hollow decisions.

Before stepping into a relationship, ask yourself:

After each conversation, do you feel heard and understood — or just like you’re listening to him talk about himself?

Do his small actions bring comfort and safety — or do you find yourself suppressing your true feelings just to “keep the peace”?

Is he kind — not just to you, but to others, even in everyday situations?

Are you genuinely curious to get to know him more deeply — or simply convincing yourself that “having someone is better than nothing”?

Sometimes, simply pausing to ask these seemingly small questions helps preserve healthy boundaries — and prevents you from unintentionally hurting yourself with impulsive choices.

And finally, observe:

Is this man truly investing in the relationship — with his time, emotions, effort, and resources?

It’s not about material things — but about the clarity of intention and willingness to be present.

We're not looking for perfection. Just someone who fits — someone steady enough to walk beside you, and gentle enough not to ask you to shrink yourself.

[blogsbywendy]

The first step to understanding oneself is to challenge what appears to be "normal."

The more I read about psychology, the more I realize: Nothing is truly "natural."

Many of our seemingly automatic reactions – a way of thinking, a recurring emotion, or even a specific behavior – often have very specific roots: childhood experiences, living environment, past traumas… or simply the ways we've learned to feel safe.

What once felt vague or unclear has actually been named, analyzed, and explained by psychologists. And in that process, every time I understood something that I used to think was "normal," I felt a little closer to my true self.

These experts have spent years researching, practicing, and listening to countless true stories. What they wrote wasn't just theory – it was the intellectual distillation of deep listening, observation, and experiencing various layers of human experience.

That's why their insights often seem so compelling. It's not because they describe me perfectly, but because they somehow name something I've never known how to explain. That feeling – of being understood without having to explain – is truly profound and moving.

If you have some free time, I really think it's worth reading some of these psychological insights. Sometimes, just a paragraph can untie a knot in your mind – or at least, help you feel seen, accompanied, and gently understood.

Psychologists whose works have deeply impressed me. In this journey of exploring psychology, there are a few names that truly stand out to me – not just for their expertise, but also for the way they write, speak, and touch people with such depth, compassion, and clarity.

Brené Brown – She helped me realize that vulnerability isn't a weakness – it's courage. Her work on shame, self-worth, and connection is like a gentle mirror reflecting the parts of myself that I often overlook.

Esther Perel – A relationship therapist who completely changed the way I see love, intimacy, and even betrayal. Her observations are bold, honest, and deeply humanistic.

Nedra Glover Tawwab – Her lectures on setting boundaries are extremely practical. She reminded me that saying "no" is an act of self-respect, not selfishness.

Carl Jung – Although more abstract, his ideas about the shadow self, collective unconscious, and individuation helped me explore the deep layers within myself – a combination of psychology and something spiritual.

[blogsbywendy]

“I once lived through emotions so much… I lost myself.”

I’m the kind of person who lives on emotions more than I ever realized. Other people’s moods affect me. A reply that comes a few minutes late can make me restless the whole evening. One indifferent look can silence me for an entire day. I used to think that was sincerity. But maybe… sometimes, it’s just a quiet kind of weakness.

Ever since I moved to this island — a place I thought would bring peace and healing — my life has somehow turned upside down. I don’t know if it’s me who changed, or if the world around me no longer fits like it used to. But everything — work, family, even love — started feeling out of sync.

And love… Love became heavier than I expected. I placed too much of myself into someone who may never have been ready to receive it. I longed for too much — for understanding, for warmth, for someone who could ease the quiet loneliness that kept rising inside me.

And when none of that came, I lost my footing. I couldn’t focus on work. I couldn’t be fully present for my family. My world revolved around a sadness named “no longer being loved.”

I keep telling myself:

“The right person will come. The one meant to stay… will stay.”

But inside, I can’t stay still. I’m like someone lost in a maze, always searching for something new — new feelings, new happiness — as if just one person holding my hand could fix all the broken spaces.

Maybe... I need to learn how to stand on my own, Even when no one’s standing beside me. Maybe happiness isn’t something to be found. Maybe it’s something we build — quietly, slowly — from the inside out.

I’m learning to accept: That it’s okay to have days when I’m not okay. That not everyone who walks into your life is meant to stay. And that sometimes, being deeply emotional… is a kind of gift — As long as I don’t let it carry me too far away from myself.

[blogsbywendy]

Love at First Sight ?

This was my first date since my last heartbreak, and this time, it was with a Korean guy.

At first, I didn’t expect much — maybe just a simple lunch and some awkward small talk.

But then, I saw him.

He was adorable — not just in appearance, but in the way he moved, spoke, and smiled.

During lunch, he was thoughtful, kind, and respectful.

I wondered… are all Korean men like this? Or is it just him?

There was a quiet sense of peace sitting next to him — a feeling I hadn’t experienced in a long time.

We used a translation app to communicate. It wasn’t easy, but I found it exciting and sincere. Despite the language and cultural barriers, something about his eyes felt familiar.

There was sadness in them — like he had gone through things he didn’t say aloud.

Maybe that’s why I felt a strange sense of understanding between us.

I want to know more about this man.

I think… I like him.

But you know what hurts?

I have no idea how he feels about me.

He’s only in Phu Quoc for a few days before returning to Korea.

Different countries, different time zones — how could I ever reach him again?

So here I am, wondering…

Should I give up before it even begins?

Or should I keep going — even if it’s from afar?

[blogsbywendy]

There are things about love, about work, and about the unspoken pieces of my heart… that I’ve never truly said out loud.

Not because I didn’t want to — but maybe because I didn’t know who to say them to, or I was afraid no one would understand.

This blog is where I keep the truest parts of myself.

I write about chasing deadlines, quiet dreams of freedom, and the kind of love that still lingers in the corners of my mind.

I write for myself — and maybe, for anyone who has ever felt alone in a crowded room.

If you stumbled across this space and feel something resonate… then maybe, this blog is for you, too.