Eyes Go Byes

The insights of a people-watching traveler

[afblearnfrench]

Connaissez-vous les couleurs en français?

[frenchpod101]

 🚕 🚛 French vocabulary related to transportation!🚍🚘

✈️ Transportation Verbs…

conduire - to drive

monter dans - to get in/on

descendre - to get off

décoller - to take off

atterrir - to land

prendre + le bus/le train/un taxi - to take the bus/the train/a taxi

🏤 Places…

La gare SNCF – The train station TGV – A high-speed train that operates all over France L’arrêt de bus – The bus stop

💭 Other Useful Phrases…

Le vélo est lourd. The bike is heavy.

L'avion est en retard. The plane is late.

Le bus est parti. The bus has left.

Le métro arrive dans 5 minutes. The subway arrives in 5 minutes. C'est bien le bus/le train pour …? This is the bus for …?

Je voudrais acheter un billet pour…  I would like to buy a ticket to…

Combien coute le billet pour…? How much is a ticket to?

[jeparletoutesleslangues]

Colloquial Phrases English ↔ French (an infographic I found on pinterest)

**click to enlarge!**

[recordofmyreverie]

Things I should be doing instead of cyberstalking

1) ART

2) Learning French

3) Writing

4) Situps

5) Pushups

6) Literally anything else

How do I break this habit. When I figure it out, it’ll be so much easier to heal. 

[purplebuddhaquotes]

Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.

Mandy Hale (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[recordofmyreverie]

The sound of Nigel’s voice has got me in a craze. I talked to him last night about his childhood fear of heights inspired by a traumatic event in Paris. Now I can’t stop listening to his old album because I want him to become more real. 

[recordofmyreverie]

The Impact of a Lost Bond

(March 7, 2018)

"In a rational family, a woman is taught to love herself first. If, however, she is raised in a family where her father wanted his feelings taken care of before his wife's or his daughter's ( and did not give back lovingly), she cannot develop self-love. An example of this kind of man is an alcoholic, workaholic, a violent or abusive man, or one who expressed high-performance expectations of his daughter"

All I can remember from childhood is that my Dad was always distant. He worked constantly to avoid the family and to avoid actually building a relationship with me. Is it even logical for me to ask for this relationship to be repaired? 

When was the last time he hugged me? I don’t even remember. High School Graduation? Because he had to. 

I only remember him yelling at me for being annoying. He only voiced his opinions of disapproval and never of appreciation. He’d ask the same questions that I’d already answered because he never listened to me in the first place. 

Any time I did anything different with my hair, he hated me more. Especially when I shaved it.  Mom does his laundry, cooks, cleans up after him. She makes all the plans, listens to his problems. Does he listen to hers? 

I learned from my mother that you have to do everything for your husband. You have to be the mother and the father simultaneously while he is away 24/7. 

Can I blame my dad though? His dad was even nastier, a worse alcoholic, and committed suicide. My mom’s dad was mean, beat them, lied, and walked all over his wife. I wonder what their dad’s were like. Were any of them loving? Or do I live in a family with a long line of unloving, absent fathers? Were any of their marriages actually happy? 

My greatest challenge in life has been learning self-love. How to be confident. How do I believe that I am good enough? How do I put an end to sleeping with such idiotic and selfish or self-destructive men? Do I choose these types because I subconsciously don’t want them forever? Am I afraid to get married and end up like my mom? 

I’m on a mission to find out. I need to know that there is hope for me to find love one day. 

[recordofmyreverie]

November 22, 2017 (Thanks Giving) : Polished hair, lots of makeup, 3 earrings in each ear, wearing a dress 

February 24, 2018 (Snow day): Grown-out messy bob, no makeup at all, 1 earring in each ear, wearing a concert hoodie and hat 

[recordofmyreverie]

Time Passing Fast

(Feb 24, 2018 12:18 AM)

It’s now been 3 months exactly that I’ve been in Alta. My bangs are no longer 1 inch long; now they reach the top of my eyebrows. My skin has improved greatly (except for the fact that I picked at my blackheads last night and now there is some minor redness). I’ve graduated my level of skiing from Sunnyside to Sugarloaf and Supreme. And I would have probably been past Collins by now if I skied a lot more often. I’m seriously impressed with my own self-improvement. 

It always seems like goals are impossible when you first set them, but if I am patient and persistent, I can always achieve them without realizing it was so long ago that I set the goal. Erik skis every single day, all day for 2 months straight. He was already a pro when he got here, so I’m not really sure what he could be working on. He came here in January and I think he’s already about to leave on March 12. I’m a bit disappointed that I haven’t gotten to go skiing with him yet, but I still have about two weeks left if I change my mind I guess. 

I’m not really sure who I have a crush on. Or if I have a crush on anyone. I still get pretty giddy and nervous whenever I talk to Erik, but I think that’s natural since he’s so happy and cool. I get the same way when I talk to Cody or Spencer though. I guess I’m just a natural Tina Belcher from Bob’s Burgers: Awkward, boy-crazed, and bob-headed. I can’t complain about not having a crush on one person. It’s probably healthy that I am just a flirt and not serious about following through with any one of these men. I have no time for male-worship. 

Pretty soon, I’ll be leaving this place and will be in an environment even more suitable for cultivating my artistic abilities. Maybe I’ll find love there, but if not. On to the next place. 

[recordofmyreverie]

Feb 20, 2018

We’ll never touch again. Never speak again. And I’ll never see him again. Thank you for being my soulmate for a week. You made me realize I’ve always been more creative than you, and this will be the last time I dedicate any energy to you at all. 

[recordofmyreverie]

Oh the Places I’ll Go

San Francisco: April 24-May1 Portland, OR: May 1-May 8 Boston, MA: May 8- May 15 Montreal, QC, Canada: May 15-23 Monhegan Island, Maine: May 23-October

It’s crazy to think that it’ll be 6 years since I’ve graduated high school by the time I start my new job in Monhegan Island, Maine. It’s also the craziest feeling that I won’t be able to see my parents for a year. But I’m secretly so excited...

I know that when I say I’m going to do something, I do it. It’s awesome to have that much credibility to myself. To know that all of this is possible because this is the life I chose to have. By myself. It’s amazing. 

Who said I needed my parents to pay for me to go on a field trip to France or that I needed college to study abroad? Those experiences are usually guided tours by people who don’t know the culture as well as locals do anyways. There’s such a misconception that you need to be rich to travel. I’m doing it on the cheap by working wherever I want to go or staying with friends along the way. 

After Monhegan, I’ll work in Canada for a year, visit my parents in Charleston, SC, and then go to Australia. It’s a lot cheaper to buy a ticket to LAX to Taipei to Sydney than flying direct, so I’ll just do that. 

[recordofmyreverie]

Gratitude for my Parents

I am so glad that I had the childhood I was dealt. I sometimes say that I wish my parents were more loving, but after today I was horrified by the children that I was dealing with. I am thankful that I wasn’t raised to be such a spoiled brat like the self-entitled demons I encountered today. It really was eye-opening to experience. I never expected this humility. 

I was in such shock at the behavior of one child in particular, Annabelle. As soon as her aunt left the room, she looked me in the eye and said “We may look really sweet, but we’re not. We’re extremely NAUGHTY.”

What a devil.

Knows she’s bad and admits it. Even had the boldness to tell me that she never learned how to be nice from her parents. She insulted every staff-member of the Lodge without a care of consequence. I felt embarrassed to be seen with them. I felt so powerless.

How can I be so nice and patient and honest? Is nobody like that anymore? Is homeschooling the cure to make them nice without mean kid exposure?

[recordofmyreverie]

Falling Fast

(February 5th)

I wonder if it’s part of being an artist to be so easily taken by someone. I literally said goodbye to Mike two days ago, and I’m already talking to someone else. Someone else who is way cooler. 

My current crush is Erik Hakman, a pro windsurfer from Sweden, and also a guest at the Alta Lodge from January to February. He isn’t my typical pick. He’s too awesome. Surfs the summer and skis the winter. Eats. Sleeps. Skis. He has no time for much else.

I like him because he is always smiling. He is always in the sun and it makes him look super tan and blonde. So blonde that apparently his hair is fried from the sun and it falls off in pieces sometimes. 

https://youtu.be/-xdmFeRRwro

It’s hard to keep track of who I’m lovin these days. I have so much love to give. 

[microwavedrawings]

Sometimes to add to your life you have to subtract. Get rid of negativity to reach positivity.

(via what-she-writes)

So I’m letting go of social media until April. Tumblr will be my primary outlet for expression until then. 

[recordofmyreverie]

Letting Social Media Stalking Ruin My Relationships with People

(February 5, 2018)

Yesterday I did something perhaps unnecessary, but afterwards I decided it was the right choice. I’d sort of been seeing someone in the past month. Well, barely. We had sex one time and it was disappointing. But we hung out multiple times before that instance over the course of a month and a half. 

He lived down the canyon about 45 minutes away, so it wasn’t very accessible to see one another very often. Especially since he was a teacher at a high school and a student at a university by night, so was it realistic to even expect that I could see him more often without a vehicle of my own?

Another obstacle was the age difference. 15 years difference to be exact. We do dating differently, have different priorities, and had a hard time finding some things to relate on other than art. 

I thought he was seeing someone else just because I stalked his instagram and found multiple posts with the same girl. She was probably just a friend like he said. But of course I didn’t believe that. I already deleted his number. I cut people off fast when I feel betrayed, but still crave an answer... 

I know that the initial cut hurt, but why do I always try to rebuild the bridge that I knocked down myself. Someone hurt me. I cut them off. I chase after them again and apologize.

Even today I still cyberstalk my ex from two years ago. How do I move on? How do I actually date someone without being obsessed? Before I figure that out, maybe I shouldn’t date at all.

[recordofmyreverie]

A reminder from the Past

(January 10, 2018)

Today I got an email from the past. My heart is beating really fast because I know I shouldn't be doing this, and I want you to live a happy life. I want that for myself too. I am sorry if I am interrupting that for this moment.

When I was 17, I wrote an email to my future self to remind myself of you. It told me that even if I was out of touch and we weren't talking anymore, I should say something. At first it made me mad because I've been trying to forget about you every day since we stopped talking, and yet there's no use in trying to forget because I'm too good at remembering. Even though I've deleted all the pictures, donated anything and everything that had a trace of you, I still remember. I still get reminded with those crazy dreams every now and then. But then I thought maybe it's not about forgetting, it's just about forgiving. If I forget everything about you, I wouldn't be who I am today. I was erasing things in my google Drive today to free up space, and I couldn't help but notice how many things I wrote that were inspired by you. Dreams, short stories, long stories, pictures of envelopes and letters that I actually sent, some that I never sent, and even a few essays that I turned in to my English teachers in college. I never realized the impact that one human could have on me. One that I never even met until 2 years ago. I can't believe I was that girl.

I can't believe how inspiring and destructing love can be at the same time. And I also can't believe how long it lasts. I'm not asking for a romantic relationship or even a second chance at friendship. I don't think it would work and I think we're better off independently and chasing our own dreams. What I am saying though, is that I truly do appreciate the time I spent with you. 

I'd never been so high before, and it's been a never-ending adventure ever since I took that one risk to actually do what I want. I don't want to forget anymore because I probably developed the most strength and self-discovery when I was with you. I'd never traveled alone before I made that drive to you, and now for the past two years that's all I've been doing. You taught me to live cheaply and make the most of what I had already. Now I don't have a car or a smartphone. And I live where I work in order to travel. Hope you're doing well. My email said you'd probably be a famous actor by now, but I guess there's still time for that if that's something you'd still like to do. 

[recordofmyreverie]

You Can’t Control the Weather

(January 6th, 2018)

I’ve come back to this blog a dozen times to write a new post about my time spent in Alaska, or my road-trips back in the lower 48,  or my travels to Serbia or my recent move to Utah, but each time I’ve been too busy living in the moment of those events and life moves too fast for me to do anything except write in my pocket journal while I’m living them or take pictures. Even taking pictures and videos has somewhat slipped my grasp because what’s right in front of me is too beautiful to even do it justice with a photo. Plus both my cameras are damaged anyways, so it’s not as fun to take pictures anymore. 

Although it shouldn’t be a surprise for where I am geographically located, it is snowing in Alta right now. Finally. It hadn’t snowed since Christmas and a lot of us were getting worried about the climate change; that is until we started to appreciate the weather for what it was and just utilize the weather that was made available to us. Blue skies and moderate temperatures above freezing in January? For people who love to ski and have been spoiled with “the best snow on earth” that’s a nightmare, but if we go beyond skiing, and just enjoy the weather which we have no control over anyways, that nightmare suddenly becomes “Wow, what a beautiful day to go for a hike!”

Before I came to Utah, I thought that I would be skiing every day and getting in great shape while exploring a new forced passion. I have been here in Alta surrounded by beautiful mountains and tons of avid skiers since the end of November, and that hasn’t happened. At least not yet. I thought that whatever I surround myself with, I’ll become, so I surrounded myself with athletes because I’ve never been one myself. 

My first thought when I wake up isn’t to ski like it is for everyone else here; it’s to paint, or play ukulele, or read, or write my dreams, or most recently practice my French. I’m much more addicted to rediscovering pre-existing passions that I had neglected before stress and anxiety and romantic relationships got in the way of expressing who I am. So the whole plan of immersing myself with people who are different than I am in order to somehow become a super-athlete myself didn’t work out exactly as planned. I was becoming somewhat frustrated with the fact that I wasn’t catching onto skiing as quickly as some others who have never skied before, and I was brainwashed into thinking “because I’m not skiing as much as others, I can’t be as happy as them” but that’s not true because different things make different people happy, and just like I can’t control the weather, I can’t control what feeds my soul. Rather than be mad about who we aren’t, let’s be happy about who we are and what we DO excel at.