❝ 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑

𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐞. 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐝, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥.

[bloodpull]

𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐧.  𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 &. 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞.  

inspiration taken from the novel, show and headcanons. please do not follow me if you’re underage.

[bloodpull]

𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧.   𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠,   𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐰 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡.   ever since fedyor had come to his rescue,   he hadn't spoken a word.   his mind replaying over and over how the sun summoner betrayed him—moi soverenyi..   their general.   torn apart by volcra,   and ivan could only sit back and watch the horror.   his heartrending powers felt useless in their massive presence.   he couldn't move,   he didn't even remember how he separated from that scene.   he couldn't find the general’s body,   he couldn't bring his remains back to be honored.   there was nothing to mourn.   ivan searched for hours in the darkness for aleksander,   and somehow instead he found the other side of the fold.   his body broken and tired from searching.   he passed out from exhaustion,   and the next thing he saw was the face of the one he loved most in this world.   how could he tell him of his failure? ivan looked to fedyor.   the worry he had caused set deeply in his lovers face.   not even his smile felt bright.   

❛ i failed him.  .  .   all of grisha are doomed now.  .  .   we will only lose more and more.  .  .   we lost him.   he— ❜ ivan felt his sob in his throat,   how long had it been since he cried? the feeling strangled him,   it ached as it clawed to escape—until he broke.   a raw noise flooded from him in anguish.   he wept for all they lost,   but mostly for the only one who had fought harder than anyone for grisha.   the world was a darker place now.  @heartpull​  ♡

[sabrinaacarpenters]

shadow and bone appreciation week ↳ day four: favorite dynamic - Ivan and Fedyor Kaminsky aka Heartrender Husbands

[heartpull]

@bloodpull​

[bloodpull]

𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲 & 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧.   after the fold.

i just want to make it clear that in my canon ivan does not fear his general after they both emerge from the fold alive. he is wary and cautious of those creatures, but he does not fear that one day the general he has been so loyally served will one day turn them against him. he has stuck by him regardless, never faltering in his loyalty because he believes in the cause. not because he’s scared of the darkling.

[bookmania]

There are things I’d rather whisper and never quite say out loud.

Virginia Woolf in a diary entry dated 20 July 1938 (via violentwavesofemotion)

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

I cannot allow myself any sort of happiness that does not, in some way or another, involve you.

Virginia Woolf, from a letter to Vita Sackville-West (via violentwavesofemotion) @heartpull

[bloodpull]

heartpull​ : ❛ 𝐟𝐞𝐝𝐲𝐨𝐫

the winter fete… fedyor found himself excited about it, regardless how the grisha were viewed as theatrics for those lesser than them, it gave him some time to spend with ivan. this year had been different, with the sun summoner found, fedyor felt hopeful and in high spirits like many of the grisha, even with the high security, fedyor refused to let that spoil this day with ivan. his eyes followed the guard, suspiciously — but only briefly as he pulled them away to look to ivan. ❛ i didn’t recognize him, ❜ he says, neither wary or cautious. ❛ but, i admit, i don’t recognize most of the guards that are not grisha. ❜ he speaks around the doughnut in his mouth, then shoves the rest of it in his mouth.

he swallows and places his hand on ivans arm. ❛ we have the night to spend with one another, ivan. perhaps we can’t slip away, but we can still be here — and be present with one another, perhaps you worry too much. ❜ he gently places his hand on ivans cheek and caresses him softly with his thumb, a dimpled smile pulled on his face as his eyes soften. ❛ be here with me, my love. ❜  

𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐱 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬. they passed by in a blur, nothing seemed to stay stagnant at the fete. there was an unwelcoming caution that stirred inside of ivan. the general expected an attack on the sun summoner’s life. they had made the necessary precautions, but ivan suspected everyone who was not grisha as an enemy of grisha. even the lazy king with his bored queen weren’t exempt from this. the more power grisha received, the less the throne had. how long would it be before they noticed their hold dwindling away? ivan’s mind raced with unanswered questions. only pulling away to give his attention to fedyor, the one who made his heart skip beats. following him as he fed himself and ivan sweets from every table that displayed them. the guard who staggered over with a drink spilled on his chest, only made him more suspicious, though he seemed the least of ivan’s worries—just the first to be uttered aloud to his lover. ivan pulled himself away from his thoughts and all of clamor in his mind. did his heart match up with the rhythm of the noise that rang out inside his head. did fedyor feel his anxiety?

❝ i know the faces of the ones who matter… perhaps it was the fact that he had no real qualm in taking orders from a grisha. strange. ❞ ivan shrugged and stared down at the other half of the pastry that they were sharing. he picked it up and took a bite out of it. his eyes were drawn back to fedyor.  smiling did not come easy to ivan, but watching the love of his live gorge himself with a pastry was enough to pull the corners of his mouth slightly upward into what he hoped was a smile. he could continue to enjoy himself without more distractions around them. the feeling of fedyor’s hand on his arm made his heart beat quicken. he had heard the words ‘slip away’ and let his mind get excited. his expression softened when fedyor’s hand touched his face. he placed his own hand over it and turned his head to position his mouth in fedyor’s palm. he kissed it gently before lowering it down from his face, still holding fedyor’s hand,  ❝ i am here with you, i will try to enjoy tonight if only for you. ❞ ivan squeezed fedyor’s hand gently, never breaking eye contact.

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

“I can talk to you about everything, and about nothing.”

— Violette Leduc, tr. by Derek Coltman, from “La Bâtarde,” published c. 1964

[bloodpull]

@heartpull

[bloodpull]

❝ you’re just a tracker—your place will never be near the sun summoner. now, do as you were request by general kirigan. ❞

❨   starter call  . . .   /  @trakher​  ❩

[garretspears]

[darkling-er]

HEARTRENDER HUSBANDS

SHADOW AND BONE

1.02 | We’re All Someone’s Monster

[bloodpull]

sovrenyi ​: ❛ 𝐦𝐨𝐢 𝐬𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐲𝐢

𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐆𝐀𝐙𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐒. ❛ i apologize for separating you two. ❜ he gave a half-hearted smile. ❛ fedyor seemed rather surprised, and i admit, upset when i informed him i had need of you here. ❜ soft, light-hearted pity danced on his features momentarily, he pulled his eyes away awkwardly, focusing on the table once more. ❛ i do hope you’re not equally as upset as he seemed. ❜ 

𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥—he knew he was special and placed above others in more that one way. he followed, not without question, but with a full understanding of the lengths they would have to go in order to achieve a safe place for grisha—this was not something many understood. soft hearted grisha who clung to the idea that humans would live in a world without fear of them. those who refused to shed blood for the sake of their own could not be respected as anything then what their human masters would make them. ivan knew very well how terrible humans could be when allowed a place above grisha. the king was an example—but there were so many who extorted the grisha and kept them like pets, rather than companions or allies. ivan knew that their fight for freedom and a place in the world could not rest. fedyor had brought a softness to ivan that he shared with no one else. a place to confide when he was feeling overwhelmed with the pressures on his shoulders. now that he was gone, there was a hollow emptiness placed inside his heart. as if half of his was missing. still he remained as he always was. stoic and clear headed when the general needed him. it was rare that the general made comments of their relationship—he knew they were stronger together and ivan knew that tearing them apart was never something he did gladly. he saw it now as it rested in the features of his face. he worried for more than just the return of his sun summoner. ivan lowered his gaze also when the general pulled away. he cleared his throat to speak aloud.

❝ we treasure each moment we have at each other’s sides. we don’t live in the bliss of expecting tomorrow to come… i think… ❞ ivan swallowed hard, a pang twisted inside him, creating a feeling of anxiety. as if the worst thoughts were pulled from the depths of all his fears. he tore his gaze from the war table to face the general once more. he didn’t need to hide himself from the general. he could feel the same pain etching its way inside the room, like a lingering sickness it clung to more than just himself. this fear was for more than themselves. ❝ i know that--we know that this fight is for all of grisha… and we need all the soldiers we can gather. i cannot be upset with the decisions you make to benefit us… i do miss him, though. ❞ the last part trailed off into a whisper, though it emitted loud enough to be heard inside the quiet.

[isengrimmr]

[quotemadness]

It is better to be unhappy and know the worst, than to be happy in a fool’s paradise.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky (via quotemadness)

[grishagifs]

Our priority now is to locate Alina as quickly as possible.

[bloodpull]

❝ it’s not just me, right?….something looked… off… about that guard. ❞

❨   starter call  . . .   /  @heartpull​  ❩