I’ll be addressing a few issues in this admin note, which are mostly about the things we’ve discussed in the chatzy for the past two days. But before I do that, I’d like to first apologize to all the new players who just joined us recently. I’m sorry you guys are being subjected to this when you aren’t even involved in the first place. It’s not fair, and I apologize if any of this is making you feel uncomfortable. This will most likely be the last admin post I’ll be making in regards to the recent events, so kindly bear with me as I attempt to write it all out.
For the most part, I’ve always encouraged you guys to solve an IC problem with an IC way. And if you weren’t aware before, I’m a firm believer that IC and OOC should and can be separated. You have to draw that line for yourself. Please don’t retaliate OOC just because you don’t like how a storyline goes IC. Please also don’t, in any way, abuse the non-consent card just because you don’t want to have to roleplay out suffering the consequences of your character’s actions. Issuing orders to characters cannot be called godmodding, nor is it a forced interaction. It’s simply something a Dominant character is allowed to do within the game. You must also accept the fact that not everything is going to go according to plan. Life throws us curve balls and plot twists sometimes, and the same can be said for roleplay. In an roleplaying environment, you can almost always assure your plot will get sidetracked or derailed. This is just a natural course of roleplaying - even more so in a D/s or M/s roleplay. Getting mad at a player for ordering your character and disrupting your plans is equivalent to getting mad at a Submissive player for playing an unruly character and causing a rose wide. Please don’t be that person. Behind each player is a human being, I fully understand that. It’s a game, you can have feels and sometimes they’re strong, but if IC conflicts are upsetting you to the point that you feel the need to tell the other player off, then my advice would be to step away from the dash completely and take a break. Likewise, please don’t purposefully turn OOC problems into IC ones. IC stays IC. OOC stays OOC. That’s the basic rule of roleplaying.
With that said, there will be instances where IC and OOC are forced to bleed, and that’s usually when your character is okay with something that’s happening in the game, but you as a player are deeply uncomfortable with playing or writing it out. Just to name a few - circumstances or triggering situations such as sexual interactions, rape/sexual assault, pregnancy, severe maiming, disfiguring, real life limits etc. If anyone in this roleplay is forcing you to interact in such ways without your consent, please come to me. There’s a difference between IC limits and OOC ones, and it’s never okay to ignore someone’s hard/personal limits and triggers. Anything with major triggers should be tagged accordingly, that’s a group rule. So similarly, anything extreme or plots that are potentially triggering should be discussed with the other player first before playing them out. Keep in mind that this isn’t about getting their consent or permission on whether your character is allowed to order/punish their characters, but rather, it is about letting them know and opening up the possibility to communicate and revise things so you don’t blindly send them into a panic attack or emotional stress. However, I do recognize that there’s no way to really guess every possible trigger, because any small seemingly insignificant detail, phrase or item can be a painful reminder to a person’s traumatic event. So this is where I ask every player to please be proactive and be personally responsible for your own triggers. If you know someone’s submitting a punishment request to Roselle for approval where your character’s involved, please approach them and let them know about your personal limits/triggers. Communication is a two-way street. No one can read minds so communication is critical for the person being triggered and respect and understanding is critical for the partners. Getting angry or flipping out on a person because they didn’t warn for your individual trigger that they didn’t know about is not okay. I do hope the above is clear and that everyone is able to differentiate their IC limits and OOC limits. If you have any questions about this or if you’re still unsure, please don’t hesitate to approach me with your queries and concerns.
Now, what should you do if a player chooses not to run through the punishment with you beforehand, saying that it’s not extreme/there’s nothing triggery in it but you’re still worried? My advice would be first and foremost, to stay calm. Next, drop me a message and include your personal limits/triggers so that when I log onto Roselle, I can react accordingly. Please don’t automatically assume that they’re lying or being rude on purpose. Some players, myself included, prefer to keep things strictly IC as it’s more fun that way. When I’m on the dash playing, I don’t talk to the person I’m roleplaying with outside of the game because I know, something as simple as ‘this is getting so sad’ may lead to OOC complications and there’s a possibility that one of us might not stay true to our own characters for fear of hurting each other’s feelings. So personally, I’m against the idea of having to run through orders/punishments beforehand unless it’s something really extreme, and even then, rose wide punishments are something that cannot be done in that manner. Because to me, it’s not so much the issue of before or after, but rather the lack of communication and the ability to maintain a respectful one. Like Coco and Chris said, a player should be able to speak up and be respected. And at the same time as they approached it, they would be equally as respectful to the other player. Please treat others as you would like to be treated. No one should force another player to write something that they’re deeply uncomfortable with. In addition, headcanons should be mutually agreed on and not forced upon. And when I say mutually agreed on, I don’t mean that you should leave everything up to the Dominant players to decide and for you to just say okay, as is the case with most practical exams. Everyone has something to give, a role to play.
Last but not least, please trust me or Roselle not to approve things that may potentially kill your character. Like Fer mentioned in the discussion, there’s a difference sometimes in what a character plans on the dash and what Roselle approves. There’s also a difference in what a character talks about on the dash vs. what they really end up doing in the end.
Below are a list of rules that will be implemented into the group, effective today:
If you choose to post orders for characters to follow instead of messaging them directly, you must tag and include them in said post as well as the starter tag - #rosellestarter.
For planned orders and not impromptu ones (i.e. their orders is to be somewhere serving during dinner at a certain date/event), please allow at least 5 to 7 days for a player to go from seeing/noticing/reading your post to having their characters responding to it.
If your character has issued an order but you won’t be able to play things out for some reason, I ask that you discuss with the other player and headcanon things right away. Similarly, if a headcanon hasn’t been received, please take the initiative to ask. Ignoring each other and leaving things unfinished isn’t the way.
Personal limits/triggers should always be respected, no exceptions.
Be respectful to one another.
After much consideration, I’ve decided to hold off the starter rules for the time being. However, I’d like to urge you guys to try to include everyone in the game. This involves replying to starters and continuing a conversation instead of dropping it after one or two replies, plotting, replying in the OOC blog etc.
Please ensure that you read and like this post, so that I know you are aware of these matters. If you do not like this post, you may receive a reminder from me to do so. Thank you for reading and if you still wish to discuss anything, please don’t hesitate to contact me directly.
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