My Random Thoughts

Things I think about late at night

[bloomingundertheshadows]

Justice for Justin

I just want to go on record saying that Justin has a fairly normal reaction to finding out his Dad is dating Colton. One criticism I've seen of The Quarterback is that people feel like it villainizes Justin and Wes too much or that Justin's reaction is out of character because he would be more understanding. Maybe I'm biased because I didn't read The Jock, but I would like to go on record saying Justin's reaction is entirely understandable.

If I came back from summer vacation, and my dad had secretly started hooking up with my friend, I would lose my shit. Especially if I was in the process of rebuilding that relationship after several years of estrangement. I'm going to be honest here and say that I would feel some type of way if my parent was dating someone the same age as me who is literally my exact opposite. Like, I would in fact feel like I was being replaced, and I would in fact scream at them both about it. Nothing here feels like character slander. I think Justin's feelings are pretty valid, and maybe in retrospect crashing out like that was kind of mean, but I would do the same thing so who am I to judge

[bloomingundertheshadows]

What I love about If We Could Go Back by Cara Dee is that it is really a book about four people who shouldn't be married but refuse to divorce because they are too scared of short term anguish and discomfort. It's really a lesson in the idea that we can't let the fear of being uncomfortable force us into long term complacency. Spoilers below.

Bennett does not love his wife anymore. Their priorities and goals in life are different, and he is unhappy. Allison clearly resents having a family so young and blames Bennett for it. Maggie knowingly married a gay man because she loved him and is too comfortable being delusional about the realities of that situation. Kieran is obviously a lot more sympathetic. When he comes out, he experiences physical violence and large parts of his family disown him. However, there is a little more nuance here. Kieran should have divorced Maggie. Yes, his family would have been nosey about it and whatnot, but. Staying in that marriage was cruel to Maggie, and he didn't need to come out to put an end to it.

I still have some issues with the pacing leading up to their affair, and the first part of the book just didn't click for me. But when it hits its stride, it does it really well. It introduces some really complex and realistic characters that I don't think gets enough credit. Allison in particular is so relatable for women who also have complex feelings about how starting a family young really can impact your career and future.

[bloomingundertheshadows]

I would like to inject You & Me by Tal Bauer directly into my blood stream if at all possible.

[bloomingundertheshadows]

I have decided I do in fact hate the eliminations. I was very sad Jae Ha left the show. Hot take, but he and Hyung Jun have more chemistry on this show than anyone else. I think he's a sweet guy who got put into a really bizarre situation. It's a bummer he's leaving.

I think Hyung Jun and Minseong will probably end up as a final couple, and you know what, they're sweet. Good for the both of them, truly.

[bloomingundertheshadows]

Shelter does not get enough credit for it’s unabashed dedication to a happy ending. It would have been so easy in 2007 - and frankly now, to end this film another way. It could have been unhappy with Zach staying in San Pedro and losing his dreams. But the even easier ending would be that Zach and Shaun break up, but that Zach is finally able to put himself first and attend CalArts. In fact, I think many modern films would take this approach.

But Shelter really said: “No, this film will end with these two gay characters happily in a loving relationship raising this child. Naysayers be damned, there will even be an ending montage to show they are still in love.”

[bloomingundertheshadows]

Unfortunately, people are being really weird with the HM4 contestants, and we're only at episode 6. In my opinion, this is the best season of the show after S2. There are issues - there shouldn't be only 3 new people, and while I originally was okay with eliminations, I’m now not a fan. However, people are getting weirdly attached or aggressive about contestants in a way I do not understand. I don’t even think we can blame editing this time around because I don’t think production has shown who they’re going to make the central person/couple. Last season I could blame them somewhat for how hostile people were to SM and JS because they framed Hwi as the main character to root for. The way some people are talking about the contestants is unhinged - and that’s coming from someone who is writing little essays on Tumblr about a reality TV show.

[bloomingundertheshadows]

Episode 6 with Jae Ha and Hyeong Jun made me really sad. I personally felt last episode that Hyeong Jun was being a little evasive about how the situation effected him. We never know if we're looking at the whole conversation, but he has been fairly reserved about the break up situation. I think it was good for him to acknowledge and be clear that the whole thing actually was very hurtful. It's a little hard because they both talk around everything in vague terms but I think Jae Ha has been very upset that Hyeong Jun is refusing to acknowledge him. Jae Ha's personality seems to be fairly open with his emotions, and I think during the last shoot he was much more animated. It's very obvious that he is kind of emotionally having a breakdown, and I think it really irritated him that Hyeong Jun was refusing to look at him while Jae Ha is more or less wearing his heart on his sleeve. I'm glad that Hyeong Jun got to openly admit how he felt, and that he got to have a nice date with someone new. The happiest he has looked on this show is on that date, and he deserves to have something nice.

If they don't get back together, I won't be angry about it. It was a really messy situation, and Hyeong Jun was rightfully hurt. But also, I think it would be quite nice. They clearly like each other a lot.

[bloomingundertheshadows]

I'm enjoying the reshoot overall, but episode 6 is really showing why they needed at least one more new contestant. There is this sort of weird cluster of contestants who like the newcomers but are struggling to connect to them. It leaves them in this weird position where they can easily be trapped just lounging at home doing not a lot. I'm very glad they're letting them pick their dates directly, but we needed one more person.

I'm frankly shocked not a ton of people are interested in Yun Jae, but I think it's because he's so reserved. He really needs to be in a season with people who are more outgoing and willing to pursue people. I fear he's getting overlooked because he's so shy.

[bloomingundertheshadows]

It's disappointing that the triple date in Episode 4 went so poorly. But if it's any comfort to Minseong, I remember that HJin's first date as a catfish went poorly as well and was super awkward. There are fairly strong opinions about Minseong coming back onto the show, and frankly, it's disheartening to see some of the comments that were made. Minseong isn't a monster, and he didn't commit war crimes last season. He was indecisive, but a more nuanced understanding of the season shows that people under pressure were acting a little rashly and imperfect. Feelings were way too high and multiple people had issues expressing how they feel. Taking away personal feelings from S2, he's a good fit. This season is all about people wishing they could do different things, and Minseong fits that bill exactly.

Now, onto this mess of a date. I don't even know if anyone is to blame, I think Minseong just chose people who he didn't click with. Taichi was fighting for his life to keep the conversation going, but he couldn't save it. This is probably somewhat the first date nerves, but I also just think a clash of personalities. Ironically, if you look at who these three people like/have liked (HG, HJ, and Jae Ha) they all picked people who are kind of extroverted conversationalists. And while Taichi is similar, the other two really aren't. So I think they just don't click - and that's fine. Remember that HJin's first date was with SW. Bet you didn't even remember that date bc it was weird.

[bloomingundertheshadows]

Oh Jae Ha. I do actually feel bad for him, but in the way where I'm like "Oh sweetie.' I am fully on board with why he decided to come back to the show, and Hyeong Jun basically confirmed it. I don't think he was expecting HJ to come back onto the show, and once he did see him, he was like 'yes, this is my chance to repair this relationship and then I can come out and date this person I like.' Their conversation in episode 3 was very touching and very sad. Clearly, being back in close proximity has brought up a lot of feelings for both of them.

Jae Ha seems to be shocked how hurt HJ is, and to put myself in his shoes, it does seem like he didn't realize that HJ was going to take his comments so personally. From what Jae Ha said, it seems like he thought HJ would obviously be sad but would understand how coming out was important because they had both spoken about it extensively.

Former His Man contestants have also said they understand this because you can date anywhere - you don't need a TV show. But the chance to just come out and have it be so open is rare and harder. Jae Ha clearly thought it would be more of a bittersweet breakup rather than something antagonistic. But obviously, someone with an EQ higher than a lemon would realize that saying 'our relationship isn't as important as coming out' would be something pretty brutal to hear.

When Jae Ha is explaining this to Su Min, I would kind of giggling. Su Min is clearly there listening to this story unsure how he even begins. But he brings up a good point - Hyeong Jun doesn't trust Jae Ha and has good reason not to. I'm so excited to see how it unfolds.

[bloomingundertheshadows]

So the His Man channel released the footage from Jae Ha and Hyeong Jun’s first date and….oh boy it’s a little tough to watch having seen the reshoot.

I want to preface by saying that unless given actual evidence otherwise, I fully believe Jae Ha’s reason for coming back on the show and I don’t even really blame him.

That being said, Hyeong Jun looks like he’s dissociating for half of episode 1/2. We know from JH that HJ wasn’t really into him at first and it was only after a while that he won him over. And their first date was so cute. JH is clearly very invested in getting to know HJ, and it’s very adorable how expressive he is. But comparing how relaxed and excited HJ is during the date to the current shoot is…a little sad. He’s holding it together a lot better than me because if a man I didn’t originally like had basically woo’d me over the course of a TV show, only to break up with me to go back on said TV show, I would feel some type of way about it.

Again, I really am not going to indulge the idea JH came back for “fame” because I still think that’s stupid. Just a really overall sucky situation

[bloomingundertheshadows]

While I do think it will come out what happened with the previous season once this one finishes airing and the cast can talk about it, I'm more interested in the timeline around how much time passed before they realized they needed to reshoot. In my mind, it wasn't a short amount of time. At the absolute lowest, maybe a few weeks? I think it's somewhat important to contextualize because if it was like a few months, I would be ballistic if I was Hyeong Jun. Not a lot of time passed, but I would be a mess if the person I was actively dating and had been for a little while (and must have been going pretty well if they were still together) was suddenly like 'oh yea I'm going back on this dating show we met on.' (Not meant to be mean, I think his reasons are very understandable). I am also a little curious how long between their breakup and the reshoot. My memories from the previous cast is that the turnaround on acceptance to filming was very short. I wonder how fresh it all is.

[bloomingundertheshadows]

Mess, Mess, Mess

His Man is back, and this poor production company can't catch a break. For those who don't know, they had to reshoot the whole show due to problems that arose with a contestant post-filming.

Right off the bat, I'm not angry about the reshoot. If anyone knows what happened with ToGetHer, that was a disaster that the production company can't afford to repeat. Being honest and reshooting was the way to go. However, my only complaint is they should have added at least 4 new contestants to balance out the other 8 (rumor is there will be 3). That would help spread everyone out again.

The big debacle this really causes relates to Jae Ha and Hyeong Jun, who were together when the series ended and, from what I can tell, were dating before Jae Ha said he needed to go back on the show.

Big Yikes. I feel really bad for both of them. It's easy to make accusations about Jae Ha, but I see no reason not to take him at his word. He clearly wants to be out publically but can't handle the awkward pressure or emotional issues that would come from sitting down with his parents and coming out. And honestly? That's understandable. Being on the show means he doesn't have to explain anything and can just let it speak for itself. I'm honestly shocked production let them come back though - I would worry as a producer that the two of them were faking a breakup. But they're so torn up about it, I feel awful.

However, I will be honest and say that I think they get back together. When the poster for the season dropped, I was a little taken aback that they were using a red thread motif. For a dating show that only lasts a week, the whole 'fate ties us together' is a little strong. But it would make sense if Jae Ha decides to pursue Hyeong Jun again - therby showing that even during the second season, they are tied together.

[casgirl]

I think heated rivalry is making leaps and bounds for reintroducing the endangered straight woman fujoshi to the yaoi ecosystem. In recent years especially yaoi has become really a gay person’s game and straight woman fujo populations have dwindled largely due to overfishing and booktok so it’s really majestic seeing them return from the brink of extinction

[casgirl]

Challengers was the important first step that re-introduced straight women to the concept that it’s awesome to watch men kiss. Heated rivalry showed them that a woman doesn’t even have to be there.

[casgirl]

Tags on this post ranked:

“I don’t care about heated rivalry” 0/10 why are you reblogging this post

“I don’t care about straight women” 0/10 you should care about women even if they’re straight #sorry

“This is why I hate heated rivalry/challengers because straight women are evil fetishizers” 0/10 you were part of the problem that forced the beautiful keystone species to the brink of extinction.

“Challengers was better because a woman should be there” 0/10 a real fujo would disagree.

[bloomingundertheshadows]

My favorite of Jeonghan's behavior is actually him showing up in Episode 6 and 7 basically pretending IIjo hasn't dumped him. He's like 'I know you have moved out and stopped talking to me and said you wanted to break up. But we're still together, and I can do better. Let's not break up like this.'

[bloomingundertheshadows]

Jeonghan: I shouldn't get drunk. It leads me to cross boundaries and sleep with my cousin.

Jeonghan: *Sees any man near IIjo* Let me just start guzzling the nearest alcoholic beverage to cope with my jealousy.

[bloomingundertheshadows]

Something I love about this show is how little plot we are given about the BL they're filming. And yet, I feel like I recognize every beat.