"Its no fun if you bleed out too quickly..."

TF2 BLU Spy rp blog

[blu-disguise]

Dossier

Name: [REDACTED] (Blu Spy)

Age: [REDACTED] (late 40s perhaps)

Other Information: hired to BLU after the previous spy started respawning headless (cause still unknown)(oh god what the fuck???). Difficult to work with, do not give letter of recommendation unless behavior changes.

Local bitchy gay who likes to watch people squirm. He's here to cause problems on purpose <3 (and probably die if he's not fast enough)

Not a father to anyone in this verse but still not shipping with scouts or other younger acting characters for that matter.

((Mun time))

Independent | semi selective | adult mod

Mun is in their 20s and would rather spend time with other adults

DMs are open but I don't hesitate to block, minors please do not DM me

I enjoy romance and being silly, you are free to smack this guy with a cardboard tube as well since he probably deserves it 😔

Replies may be slow, feel free to poke me though

[voidshrub]

his hhands are so cu,te

[blu-disguise]

Danse Macrabre

Request Denied

The words stare back mockingly. He should know by now not to bother but every so often ideas buzz like a hive of bees until they get ground down into a long winded proposal. He would have paid for the better shoes but of course not, it would need speed testing and balances and blah blah blah...

So be it

Spy paws at the top of his wardrobe and pulls down one of his gaudier pieces. It only takes a puff of breath to knock off most of the dust and the rest is easily brushed off. He inspects the hat for a moment before removing the ostrich plume to give it a good shake as well. He places the monstrosity upon his head and works it down until the back end stops threatening to join the floor.

Perfect.

His door opens and closes soundlessly and he glides through the halls invisibly. He dodges Demo's bleary morning stumbling and skirts the view of ever watchful cameras as the meter on his cloak and dagger recharges. Eventually he makes it to the gate.

The Spy waits until countdown starts to finally decloak. With a florish, he clicks his earpiece over to the public channel and presses the mic button.

"Gentlemen, today I will be providing free dance lessons. Meet me in- oof!" He's nearly knocked off his feet by some of his more enthusiastic teammates rushing off to grab their own obnoxious hats. The radio delivers a few scratchy cheers from RED.

"Well... you know where to find me." He finishes lamely and turns the radio back off.

He ignores Miss Pauling's panicked crackling over the intercom to instead light up one last cigarette. He blows a long stream of smoke as Soldier marches over to start the usual loud tirade. Spy accepts his new title as a "hippie loving communist traitor" with a serene (dissociative) smile.

No updates indeed.

((In character replies and silly adding to the bit are welcome on this post, would love to see what blogs are active via this type of shenanigans <3 yipee party time :D))

[blu-disguise]

Routine: Becoming a Copy

Shower

Shave as close as possible

Apply dye to eyebrows, eyelashes

Moisturizer if energy levels permit

Sunscreen

Add pigment to visible areas around the upper lip and chin

Wonder once again if this face is just RED himself or if you both are mimicking a man who is more dust than dead

Set this layer of deception in place

Test durability by brushing teeth

Put the balaclava on and shove down any speck of individuality

The Spy stares back in the mirror

[blu-disguise]

Radio Rambling

"Fine! Stop yelling into the mic and you'll get your answer."

"..."

"Scars are attractive on anyone, especially in this line of work. It means they survived something and won't likely to be foolhardy enough to repeat anything that stupid."

"..."

"Scout, there are cameras everywhere in the base and Miss Pauling reads reports from Medic and I on everything that goes wrong. Burning yourself will get you nowhere other than looking even more like an idiot."

"..."

"Call me whatever you like but that doesn't make you any less of a virgin."

"...!!!!💢"

[blu-disguise]

"A BLU daring to show their face around me? And a BLU Spy, no less? You must lack some serious self respect. No matter, I'm not offended if you take some tips from the best." ( @me-the-red-spy , thank you for the follow <3)

He huffs half a laugh.

"Already assuming I'll be groveling at your feet? You RED's never change. All this time in America has made your mouth louder than your actions... If you were worth the effort to study then I would already be dead."

@me-the-red-spy

[blu-disguise]

I know about you and our Sniper, @the-red-sniper .

If you ever hurt his work performance...

- @the-spy-red

He scoffs.

"Oh come now, you can't let a man dig his own grave?"

"I only give back what I am given, so perhaps you need to start worrying about your own secrets."

@the-spy-red

[blu-disguise]

"Hallo! I got a flower delivery!"

He's holding up a blue columbine flower up to the Spy with a big smile.

@minidocofred

"...Merci." He replies stiffly.

He places the flower into one of his breast pockets as decoration. He doesn't like dealing with the RED Medic on good days so antagonizing the man's spawn is not on the table.

"Dove's flower... from... you?"

@minidocofred

[blu-disguise]

'I will have to tell the rest of your team that you have forced my hands back to the knife then.' Spy signs flippantly as he lengthens his strides to overtake the sniper. He doesn't supress the breathy chuckle that follows his little joke.

The doorway swallows him and his cat-like grin in shadow for a moment as the room is no longer a fight for the eyes against the vast ocean of sundrenched dust. Bird calls warble on top of each other in alarm before a few of the native species flee to the skies with a flutter of wings.

The birds mostly stick to building their nests in a pile of collapsed beams in the far corner. He can't blame them for seeking refuge in natural wood versus the cold hard angles of his team's structures. It probably also helps that RED's doctor keeps some feeders topped up on the roof of their base... Though RED can keep their odd birds for all he cares.

Somehow this rundown building manages to cradle any bit of wind within it to generate a lovely crossbreeze. He fills his lungs with the cool air for a breath before he slips through a beam of light that peeks in from a slice of destroyed roof. He dodges past the rusted frames of two cars that must have been stripped for parts decades ago and flanks a long line of workbench that hugs one of the walls. It's easy to imagine some engineer tinkering away at some long forgotten project when this place was whole, now theres only busted pieces of pegboard left to watch over this crypt.

He stops short.

"That lazy-" He grimaces down at a mess of his black cigarette butts and shoves a hand deep into one of his inner suit pockets. A plastic evidence bag appears and he folds it around his hand like another glove. "Oh yes, says he'll get his neck wrung for not catching me then just leaves this-" He continues muttering angrily as he squats down to comb through the dirt.

He looks up at his companion for a moment once he gets the majority of the mess put away.

'These tables are still solid enough for a heavy to run across with his stupid gun if you want off your feet.'

He plucks a few more strays to discard and scans the ground before standing.

'So out here of all places is where your job is the easiest? Pretty sure you snipers have a lot of mobility for finding work.'

He gingerly rolls back an ancient dust cover off a section of the workbench and hops up.

[sniped-at-sundown]

Sunset doesn't seem to respond at the joke, only shifting slightly. He's acknowledged it, at least.

As he follows, he watches the Spy's feet move in front of him. The sunlight vanishes as he steps under cover. It was harder to see with his glasses on, he's more used to blinding lights, after all.

As the other cursed and started to clean the building up, Sunset decides to set his camera down for the time being. He makes a mental note to remember to pick it back up, looking around the building a little. After one quick glance back at the other and making sure he was still distracted by the cigarettes, the sniper pulls his glasses off momentarily.

His mismatched eyes, now no longer having to deal with sun protection blocking his view, darts around scanning the room. He makes a mental note of all escape points and hiding places, as well as areas to avoid being cornered in.

When the sounds of shuffling stopped, Sunset put his glasses back on with mild hurry and turned around.

'I'm okay. Thank you.' He politely responds, choosing to stand. Sitting would delay his response to any surprises- not that there should be any, of course. But it doesn't hurt to be... careful.

Sunset's answer came with a pause. He glanced down at the floor, before pulling his eyes back up to the other's hands as he signs, 'I think it's easier than your job. Less delicate.'

Aiming isn't difficult when he's done it all his life. He can't imagine what work a Spy would have to do. It seemed like something only someone well-trained would be able to do without messing up entirely.

'You're correct. In fact, I reckon I move around more than your snipers since I'm only around when the main sniper isn't available for a job; match or contract.' He explained. 'Been everywhere. Never in one place long.'

'Is your work limited to just this area? Or country?' He asks, slightly hesitant. Too careful about overstepping bounds with questions.

[blu-disguise]

Spy looks out through the hole in the roof to the orange glow of the sky. His legs swing slowly as he mentally touches upon what he can say.

'I've scaled down my operations quite a bit. Most of my old mentees know what they are doing by now so I'm not called upon much for outside consultations these days.'

He chuckles to himself.

'This is practically retirement from what I used to get up to. The personalities out here are... big and that's enough to deal with.'

He takes out a cigarette and tries not to miss his more information heavy days where he might as well have been working alone. The lighter's burst of flame helps smother out the memory of some of his more competent past teammates. He's only left with smoke filling up the broken shell of his body.

The nicotine curls lovingly against his tired brain and waves at holes he's overlooked. Been everywhere? That's not what the files said-

Oh.

He wheezes a long laugh.

"You- you aren't the seasonal temp, that was the no show. You're the one who is leaving. Mon dieu, what a nightmare its been recently." Spy groans into his hands. He needs his weekend. What a gift it would be for his RED counterpart to leave and see that woman. Maybe then he would stop throwing fits like a child.

Spy's mind and body feel like lead sunken deep into an ocean's trench. He doesn't want to imagine what shade is under his eyes compared to the corpse in the mirror this morning. Smoke bellows out thickly from his mouth, exhaust from an overworked machine.

'RED- the Spy- found out I'm taking leave soon. It's too late for him to stop it so he's off burning his bridges again. Likely had a hand in the explosion that took the other Sniper out. He thinks if he kicks up enough fuss that administration will tighten my leash again.'

He should double that man's bounty, but it would easily get traced back here and his reliability would be tarnished. He must play nice even with a knife against his throat, and maybe the time will come where he can escape back into his old life. But at the end of the day, nobody cares about the men left to rot in this desert.

'All I'm going to say is I was invited to go play with some real toys down in Panama. Nobody is keeping me from that.'

[blu-disguise]

He's away today.

What kinds of messes will he come back to?

[blu-disguise]

The Spy shoves down any hint of surprise behind a mask of boredom as the Australian jargon disappears from the man's gestures.

He nearly winces.

He's all too familiar with such cravings. When he first transferred here he took handicap after handicap just to be able to be understood in his mother tongue for one more day. Despite the trouble RED causes, he remains here as well just to have that backup... The sensitive information that flows between him and his counterpart is not stilted behind translation and that also makes it all just a little more bearable.

He swipes his shoe over a rock.

'I might be able to spare some more of my evening if you'll be my chaperone'

He points to one of the hollowed out buildings that lies abandoned on RED territory.

'I used to smoke there before the other spy decided I was too much trouble. However extenuating circumstances or an invitation allows me a bit more freedom to move.'

He rolls his shoulders and sighs when his back cracks.

'I could also be tempted to let you know what sites have British spies. If they're worth anything then they would also be able to communicate with you should you decide to move on from here.'

[sniped-at-sundown]

Chaperone? For... smoking? Sunset didn't feel all that right about letting BLU into RED territory, but he did trespass first. It was fair enough- so long as the other wasn't trying to steal intel it'd be fine, right? Judging by his wording, he's familiar with the building anyway.

After a brief pause of consideration in which Sunset was staring down at the ground, the sniper slowly nods and gestures for the Spy to go ahead. He walks towards the building as he signs,

'It's fine, I don't need that information. Most of the time, I can't hold conversations.'

It's embarassing to admit, but it's okay. He was pretty embarassing without that bit of information anyway. He spends most his time off-shift just rotting away in his room or in some random corner, despite knowing full well there was the option of talking to someone or being productive.

'You are the first person I've spoken to this week. You will probably be the last for this week.' He signs, half-joking.

[blu-disguise]

'I will have to tell the rest of your team that you have forced my hands back to the knife then.' Spy signs flippantly as he lengthens his strides to overtake the sniper. He doesn't supress the breathy chuckle that follows his little joke.

The doorway swallows him and his cat-like grin in shadow for a moment as the room is no longer a fight for the eyes against the vast ocean of sundrenched dust. Bird calls warble on top of each other in alarm before a few of the native species flee to the skies with a flutter of wings.

The birds mostly stick to building their nests in a pile of collapsed beams in the far corner. He can't blame them for seeking refuge in natural wood versus the cold hard angles of his team's structures. It probably also helps that RED's doctor keeps some feeders topped up on the roof of their base... Though RED can keep their odd birds for all he cares.

Somehow this rundown building manages to cradle any bit of wind within it to generate a lovely crossbreeze. He fills his lungs with the cool air for a breath before he slips through a beam of light that peeks in from a slice of destroyed roof. He dodges past the rusted frames of two cars that must have been stripped for parts decades ago and flanks a long line of workbench that hugs one of the walls. It's easy to imagine some engineer tinkering away at some long forgotten project when this place was whole, now theres only busted pieces of pegboard left to watch over this crypt.

He stops short.

"That lazy-" He grimaces down at a mess of his black cigarette butts and shoves a hand deep into one of his inner suit pockets. A plastic evidence bag appears and he folds it around his hand like another glove. "Oh yes, says he'll get his neck wrung for not catching me then just leaves this-" He continues muttering angrily as he squats down to comb through the dirt.

He looks up at his companion for a moment once he gets the majority of the mess put away.

'These tables are still solid enough for a heavy to run across with his stupid gun if you want off your feet.'

He plucks a few more strays to discard and scans the ground before standing.

'So out here of all places is where your job is the easiest? Pretty sure you snipers have a lot of mobility for finding work.'

He gingerly rolls back an ancient dust cover off a section of the workbench and hops up.

[the-rubber-band]

Reblog if you're okay with people coming into your dms or ask box with storylines and rp ideas!

[blu-disguise]

Spy doesn't quite recognize the sign but he can read people well enough to understand. The files in his head bloom into points to strike at and he follows the line of dots to something he can use.

Silent treatment? Fine. Enjoy seeing where your awful gestures originated from.

'It would be wise for you to keep the camera away from my side of the fence. The war may be loud with bullets during active duty but it still gets fought with information after hours. So unless you want to up your workload to that of a spy then keep your sights away from BLU-'

His hands flinch as the phantom smack of the instructor's ruler echoes a memory across his fingers after all these years. His team's Pyro uses the same spelling as back home (on the more lucid days at least) but of course history has fractured external expression into thousands of different ways. He closes his eyes for a moment and visualizes the opposing letter chart.

'B L U property. Just stay on your side before I am called upon to waste my time burying you.'

[sniped-at-sundown]

Silent. The other man doesn't speak. He could only assume the man just wanted him to go, and was about to turn tail and speedwalk off while screaming internally into oblivion when a bit of movement at the edge of his vision startles him.

He raised his head slightly for once, adjusting his glasses with wide eyes as he read the other's hands. It wasn't Auslan, but-

He... hadn't met anyone else here who signed.

The scolding tone which would usually be enough to crush his little confidence held no effect when faced with the rare, genuine joy of finally finding someone who could speak like him. His silence was as much of a solace as it was a wall. Communication was impossible without written aid, and even then- day to day life moves too quickly for most people to wait for him to finish writing.

He recognised the language as BSL. Digging through his memories, he formulated a response in said language, signing a little slower as he hadn't practised as much with it.

'I understand. I was not aware of after-hours intel war, most places I have been stationed in keeps all work within the battle hours,' he signs, hands not as stiff. 'B L U landscape details are very different from R E D, I was distracted by the scenery of machinery.'

Temporarily chattier, he adds:

'I have not met anyone else who understood me, much less any who'd sign back. This is a very pleasant surprise- I left my notebook behind and I was dreading charades, it's real disrespectful after all-' Sunset's hands abruptly stop as he catches himself rambling and staring at the man's hands. He quickly averts his gaze, taking in a deep, awkward breath.

He's wasting this man's time. He should leave, right?

'I apologize, you're busy. I will go and leave B L U alone.' He stiffly signs, swallowing a lump in his throat and taking a step back.

[blu-disguise]

The Spy shoves down any hint of surprise behind a mask of boredom as the Australian jargon disappears from the man's gestures.

He nearly winces.

He's all too familiar with such cravings. When he first transferred here he took handicap after handicap just to be able to be understood in his mother tongue for one more day. Despite the trouble RED causes, he remains here as well just to have that backup... The sensitive information that flows between him and his counterpart is not stilted behind translation and that also makes it all just a little more bearable.

He swipes his shoe over a rock.

'I might be able to spare some more of my evening if you'll be my chaperone'

He points to one of the hollowed out buildings that lies abandoned on RED territory.

'I used to smoke there before the other spy decided I was too much trouble. However extenuating circumstances or an invitation allows me a bit more freedom to move.'

He rolls his shoulders and sighs when his back cracks.

'I could also be tempted to let you know what sites have British spies. If they're worth anything then they would also be able to communicate with you should you decide to move on from here.'

[blu-disguise]

His glare softens to just a bit above annoyance as the camera comes into his hands without a fight.

He turns the device over in his hands. He grimaces as no seam for a roll of film appears. Ugh. With film he could at least be sure the picture was truly gone, fire or even sun exposure would do the job quickly enough.

He fumbles through menus, internally cursing Australia for their lack of organization and standards when putting together products. He finally manages to find the buttons for zooming in so he searches through the photos.

It doesn't seem like his hair made it into any of the shots, so full alarm smooths out into mild discomfort. Still, they're practically pin-ups compared to his usual state of dress. One of these plus some other annoying piece of blackmail in his RED counterpart's arsenal would set off another round of favors to wrestle back his freedom.

Delete. Delete. Delete.

He looks through the settings and doesn't see any kind of kept history function. The camera seems a little bit older than current models and... this is a Sniper. Perhaps working well was better than all the bells and whistles.

"Since you complied, I'm willing to return this to you this time. I trust that you understand-"

He presses too hard on a button and gets greeted with a sunset over a mesa. He blinks.

"You really know how to use this thing."

[sniped-at-sundown]

Sunset's hands drop to his sides as the other- a BLU Spy judging by the look of his loafers- clicked through his precious camera. It isn't like he couldn't get a new one if the other decided to smash it on the ground, but that meant either begging mum for help tagging along (she would kill him) or going back to the supplier himself (he would rather die).

The quiet bips fill the silence as the stranger goes over the photos and, judging by the noise, deletes a few. He mildly mourns over the loss, wishing he had noticed a man in the picture much faster so that he didn't need to get rid of any of his photos. It wasn't like he displayed them, but... it felt like a sense of accomplishment. Proof he went outside today and actually looked at his surroundings instead of hiding in it.

He perks up at the mention of a return, but doesn't look at the man. Idle hands stretch out to accept the camera back in his currently gloved hold, clicking through a few buttons quickly as if doing final checks.

Satisfied with what he had seen (or hadn't, really), Sunset relaxed ever so slightly... and flinched realizing the man had spoken to him.

He... uh... said something about... using...? The thing?

Oh- it.. it was a compliment.

Holding the camera in one hand, he reaches behind him to.. to...? Sunset frantically pats his pockets, finding them empty, and internally curses himself for leaving his (often) only means of communication behind: the notebook. His head flicks back up while his free hand held itself up by habit- as if it were about to gesture- as he internally debates whether ot not to try and risk 'embarassing himself', before eventually settling for an awkward thumbs up as thanks, shoulders slightly hunched.

'Sorry' he then signs, bowing slightly just in case it wasn't clear enough.

[blu-disguise]

Spy doesn't quite recognize the sign but he can read people well enough to understand. The files in his head bloom into points to strike at and he follows the line of dots to something he can use.

Silent treatment? Fine. Enjoy seeing where your awful gestures originated from.

'It would be wise for you to keep the camera away from my side of the fence. The war may be loud with bullets during active duty but it still gets fought with information after hours. So unless you want to up your workload to that of a spy then keep your sights away from BLU-'

His hands flinch as the phantom smack of the instructor's ruler echoes a memory across his fingers after all these years. His team's Pyro uses the same spelling as back home (on the more lucid days at least) but of course history has fractured external expression into thousands of different ways. He closes his eyes for a moment and visualizes the opposing letter chart.

'B L U property. Just stay on your side before I am called upon to waste my time burying you.'

[blu-disguise]

Dish Duty

Spy has rubber gloves up to his elbows and a faded apron is tied around him. His suit jacket and tie hang over a chair well out of the way in an effort to save them from the splash zone. So far there hasn't been any interruptions to his task at least.

He's finally past grumbling about incompetent teammates while scrubbing and instead hums a slow tune to keep his mind busy. He shakes most of the water off the latest dish and delicately places it on top of the stack. The tower is starting to get precarious and soon he will have to switch tasks just to clear the counter. A lower part of the song turns gravely for a moment as he plucks yet another plate from what seems like the endless void of a sink. It would be a mercy if everyone just cleaned their own plates for once.

The door handle jiggles a warning and the next note dies in his throat quicker than any stab he's delivered out on the field. He leans in and scrubs aggressively at a stain.

"If you are not here to pick up a dish towel then I would suggest you leave."

[sniped-at-sundown]

cont. - @blu-disguise

Hidden behind reflective glasses, Sunset's eyes were wide open and staring off into nothing. Like a gecko with its eyes pointing different directions. Alarms blared in his head, but his conciousness had long fainted from panic.

After a few moments of absolute stillness, as if he were a prey animal trying to hide in plain sight by staying very still, he slowly held the camera out, offering it to the man in a 'do what you will with the evidence'.

His gloved hands shook. He said nothing. He couldn't make a sound.

[blu-disguise]

His glare softens to just a bit above annoyance as the camera comes into his hands without a fight.

He turns the device over in his hands. He grimaces as no seam for a roll of film appears. Ugh. With film he could at least be sure the picture was truly gone, fire or even sun exposure would do the job quickly enough.

He fumbles through menus, internally cursing Australia for their lack of organization and standards when putting together products. He finally manages to find the buttons for zooming in so he searches through the photos.

It doesn't seem like his hair made it into any of the shots, so full alarm smooths out into mild discomfort. Still, they're practically pin-ups compared to his usual state of dress. One of these plus some other annoying piece of blackmail in his RED counterpart's arsenal would set off another round of favors to wrestle back his freedom.

Delete. Delete. Delete.

He looks through the settings and doesn't see any kind of kept history function. The camera seems a little bit older than current models and... this is a Sniper. Perhaps working well was better than all the bells and whistles.

"Since you complied, I'm willing to return this to you this time. I trust that you understand-"

He presses too hard on a button and gets greeted with a sunset over a mesa. He blinks.

"You really know how to use this thing."

[doggyblusnipes]

Spy squints at Sniper with great suspicion.

"Care to enlighten me as to why "walkies" was added to my section of the chore chart?"

*tail wags excitedly* walkies? right now? *sticks his neck out to offer his collar to him*

[blu-disguise]

[Snipped]

*His tail continues its steady wag. He doesn't seem as perturbed at the show of authority from Spy. After all, he's used to it. A beast like him sometimes needs some correction so that's par for the course.*

*He walks ahead, eyes flicking around and nose working. Walks always get his senses stimulated.*

The bright sun isn't kind on his weary eyes. Spy blearily blinks at his companion and has to remember how many hours he spent shuffling papers before this task began. He groans quietly to himself as his body cracks and clicks through movement.

Maybe... it was good to get outside...

"Finding anything unusual?"

[doggyblusnipes]

there's a patch of clover over there... *He points, looking over his shoulder at Spy then back at the flowers.* couple o'bees... sun feels nice, yeh?

*His tail wags faster. He looks back at Spy again, smiling. He was just happy to experience a nice day with him.*

[blu-disguise]

He's halfway through pulling out a cigarette before he remembers his teammates defensive glares when it comes to the dog's sense of smell. The case clacks back closed and gets stored away.

Spy shrugs.

"Give it a few hours and I'll have the distinct pleasure of slow roasting in my suit."

His mouth twitches into a smirk.

"I wonder how long you would last in a balaclava out here... All the hair would probably make it difficult."

[doggyblusnipes]

*He frowns* would probably make me hot. 'd tear the thing off me faster than you can blink.

*He turns his attention forward again, looking in the direction of a squirrel running up a tree. He tenses briefly before he forces himself to relax. No chasing when on walkies.*

[blu-disguise]

His eyebrows raise at the display.

"Oh... So he can listen..." He teases as he crosses from dirt path to the grass. He shifts to walking cooly on his heels, nonchalance bleeding back into his being.

"How should I reward such good behavior?" The question is honey sweet but he makes no effort to fully close the distance between them. Instead he simply cocks his head to the side as he waits for an answer.