TUMBLR TEXT POST SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. 1 ;
75 starters. CW: blood mention, cussing, death. Starters come from various text posts floating around Tumblr. The only thing changed for this post was adding capitalization and punctuation. Feel free to change words and pronouns as needed!
“All I do is drink water and be stupid.”
“All I do is rotate three outfits and talk shit and have panic attacks.”
“All I want these days is to hike through a mossy forest filled with heavy fog and get lost for a while.”
“Am I supposed to feel sorry for the those two guys who died in the Blair Witch house? Who broke into HER home, trespassed on HER land, and messed with HER stick bundles? I don’t!”
“Baby girl, you are strange and off-putting.”
“Can necromancers heal depression?”
“Did I need it? No. Did I buy it? Yes.”
“Don’t forget that what you see isn’t all there is.”
“Do you ever wanna bond with someone so bad you’re like, “Damn, I wish we were knights on a dangerous quest…”?”
“Do you think the world could suddenly end on a night as quiet as this?”
“Fuck yeah, I’m an influencer! My content is clownery, I promote stupidity, and I’m sponsored by the circus.”
“Have people in horror movies never seen a horror movie?”
“Holy shit… I’M the demon living in my house?”
“Hot tip: bury yourself in the forest to recharge, never come back, and become a local cryptid.”
“Humans are really good at remembering each other’s bad decisions.”
“I am one percent human and ninety-nine percent tired.”
“I don’t really feel like existing today.”
“I do this really cute thing where I shut down and hate everybody.”
“I feel like I’m in the Sims where it takes five hours to make pasta and then you have to immediately go to bed.”
“If I can’t hand my lover a cup of coffee and kiss their forehead while they’re working, then what even is the point?”
“If my son is stealing pies off window sills, it’s because I taught him to do that, bitch.”
“If you aren’t someone the church wanted dead three hundred years ago, are you really living?”
“If your computer has malware… that’s me in there. If you take care of me like a little Tamagotchi pet, I will leave and give you a secret present in your files.”
“I hate those really vivid dreams that you’re still emotionally attached to after you wake up. You’re stuck, feeling for something that technically doesn’t exist.”
“I’m giving up personhood to become a full-time abstract concept.”
“I’m like a shitty anime dating sim. If I talk to six people, I have to immediately go to bed. If I go grocery shopping, that’s half my HP.”
“I’m off to kill the most powerful man in the world.”
“In the 90s, computers would scream every time you went online. That was foreshadowing.”
“I procrastinate so much now that if I ever became a vampire I will literally put things off for centuries.”
“I think I want my next piercing to be through my heart with a wooden stake.”
“I think my dark under eye circles are adding to the aesthetic, actually.”
“I think the far healthier app to have in middle school was the DSi camera, not Tik Tok.”
“It’s okay to be obsessed and in love with me.”
“I was born in the wrong generation. Take me back to the paleoarchean era. I want to be insentient. I want to be bacteria.”
“Little known fact: once you’re older and you’re no longer in school, time stops being real. Did that thing happen one year ago? Two? Five? A few months ago? Who knows.”
“Maybe if we all just collectively start decorating now, we can… force it to be Halloween.”
“Me? Tired? Sleepy? Yes, constantly.”
“My blood is glow stick juice. That’s why all my bones crack when I move.”
“My body is less of a temple and more of a rotting 19th century mansion rumored to be haunted by several wicked and vengeful spirits.”
“My body is my temple. Ancient and crumbling. Probably cursed.”
“My hobbies include laying in bed in my underwear while I listen to music and hate myself.”
“My kink is closing doors so that I’m in complete solitude.”
“My superpower is going into a book store and immediately forgetting the name of every book I’ve ever wanted to read.”
“Not all your life decisions have to be smart. Some can be purely for cinematic value.”
“Nothing should go back to normal. Normal wasn’t working.”
“Not really a fan of this ‘being a person’ thing.”
“People keep saying “go big or go home” as if going home doesn’t sound like the best idea ever. Hell yeah, I wanna go home, and I’m gonna take a nap when I get there.”
“People who suggest getting breakfast together as a hangout plan are the kind of people you want to hang onto.”
“Pray for me. Nothing’s wrong, I just want more power.”
“Protect me from what I want.”
“Pro tip: instead of having feelings, try being dead inside. Everything is still horrible, but you will not care at all.”
“Remember, you can disappear into the woods whenever you want. You’re an adult.”
“Reminder: you can start over at any time. Your day is not ruined. Your world is not over. Take a deep breath. Start over.”
“Rest in peace to everyone killed by the gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the gods.”
“Sexting? Nah, I’m into spexting. Spooky texting. Ever seen a ghost? Hit me up.”
“Something all children covet is the generic black t-shirt with white skull worn by cartoon teenagers.”
“Sometimes a girly just needs to mask her declining mental state by calling herself a girlboss and that’s okay.”
“Sorry, bro, I can’t hang out today. I used up all my mana.”
“Sorry I tried to drink your blood. I think you’re cute.”
“The internet is awesome, but you can’t download love.”
“The only reason I still have depression is because I can’t take my brain out and blow on it like a DS cartridge.”
“The older you get, the more you appreciate just chilling at home doing nothing.”
“The world is just generally better when you’ve recently eaten a sandwich.”
“The worst part about kissing a perfect ten is the cold feeling your lips get from touching the mirror.”
“Very sexy of me to be isolating myself and rotting into the floor.”
“Well, the horrors may be beyond YOUR comprehension, but I understand them perfectly.”
“What does your soul look like?”
“What ever happened to personality? I want decorative towels that aren’t boring! I want NOVELTY! I want people to come over to my house and look at my trinkets, and immediately think “this lady is a wacko” and also “her stuff is haunted!””
“When fat Pikachu finally returns, I know he will single-handedly save our economy.”
“Yeah, I could have cracked the Zodiac cipher before those guys did. I just didn’t want to.”
“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.”
“You can’t keep dancing with the devil and wonder why you’re still in Hell.”
“You know what I would be if I was in a video game? That dead body you find at the beginning with like ten gold.”
“You think too much. You’ll make yourself ill if you keep that up.”
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