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@bludhavcn
imagine you are a 10 year old raised to kill in a ritualistically abusive cult and then you get sent to live with your fuckass dad in new jersey usa and he says literally everything you were ever taught to believe by the authority figures in your life is not true and is in fact morally reprehensible and unacceptable and to top it off literally nobody in his family likes you even a little bit and they feel very comfortable with you knowing this. And through a series of unfortunate events you get sent BACK to the cult after getting a little blown up and your father doesn’t look for you at all. and then you have to seek him and his family out because your withered husk of a grandpa is trying to bodysnatch you and his chud son you didn’t even try THAT hard to kill attacks you and has to be dragged off by the butler. so they work with your mom to keep you from getting bodysnatched and then you decide it’s time to go live with papa and bond with him or whatever and then he bites it. so then you’re stuck with his OTHER chud son as batman but you get attached over time while you’re working together as batman and robin but THEN your dad comes back from being fake dead in the timestream and the brother you got attached to fucks back off to the most cursed city maybe in the world. then your clone kills you and you go to real biblical hell. and this is like. All in the span of a year, maybe. damian is much stronger than me i would have walled bruce into his own wine cellar cask of amontillado style and left him to die a miserable death
timothy the teetotaler kills me. hes a DARE kid. dumping out his roommates alcohol and threatens to get him expelled. i know he acts like someones pulled a gun whenever they take out a joint and it will never not be funny. his idol is dick "lets all try cocaine!" grayson.
i know dick saw tim very gingerly pick up a dime bag o'weed one time like with his very fingertips trying not to touch The Substance Itself inside of the bag and was like Oh i cannot speak of my life
and tim'll get better but he's never gonna not be weird. its not helped that the one time he tried weed he had a panic attack and had to breathe into a paper bag for like 4 hours until he passed out. its hard to be weed normal when weed makes you abnormal.
i know the reveal to tim is totally accidental and like reflexive it's probably dick's thing where he id's drugs by tasting them they're on some kind of bust or recon mission and tim's like hey... do you think this is cocaine or heroin? and dicks like 'thats coke for sure lemme see' and just sticks his finger in there and puts it in his mouth and tims like. NIGHTWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then they look at each other in silent horror for like 10 seconds before dick's like. '...its cocaine.'
tims trying to get him to leslies hes like COCAINE CAN GIVE YOU A HEART ATTACK THE SECOND IT HITS YOUR BLOODSTREAM ARE YOU HAVING A HEART ATTACK DO WE NEED TO GO TO THE CLINIC and dick is trying to deescalate the situation before tim tells bruce and ruins dick's entire year and keeps making it worse. robin this amount of cocaine will not kill me ive done way more cocaine than that "YOU WHAT!" it's barely even a kick i promise "YOURE ADDICTED TO COCAINE??" NO i just- i dont- it's been- at parties- "WHAT KIND OF PARTIES ARE YOU GOING TO????" NORMAL ONES.
Firmly believe Dick is the kind of freak who would create a whole set of fake tells for lying, all of which are on opposite ends of his body from whatever real tells he has so people look away from his real ones while gaging his honesty. Also making his “I’m being so genuine and honest right now” face being an exaggerated version of his real lying tells
(english butler voice) Will you be making an attempt on your life this evening, sir?
slade to dick when dick is already having the worst day imaginable:
the arrowfam is so precious to me 💔
in my mind palace where comics dont hurt me, instead of rhato being the red hood ongoing we instead got a respectably sized series not written by a sex pest that was entirely about jason’s redemption from actively being a vile and violent murderer and terrorist worshipping at the altar of his own pain and into being the wounded antihero with thawed, tentative relationships with the other bats that he’s generally portrayed as nowaways. the whole series would have been brutal to him and painful and he would have had to claw his way there but it would have something beautiful about the nature of grappling with your worst self and the way it hurts to heal, like setting bones back in place. it would be the new canonical jason bible
i have to hallucinate that this comic exists because i get too angry when i think about how much this path to redemption arc for jason either Doesn’t Exist or has effectively boiled down to a very juvenile “but why don’t the bats just accept that jason was correct this whole time” and i start foaming at the mouth
a crucial aspect of my imaginary canon jason comic is also jason’s hypocrisy because its probably the clearest way for red hood jason to kickstart that journey. post-resurrection jason is a very selfish man in my eyes. he’s consumed by ego and his own trauma! i don’t say this as a way to put him down, it’s probably my favorite aspect of his red hood character; who hasn’t been 18 and obsessed with their own pain and woe-is-me? jason has very understandable reasons to be broody and miserable and lash out, and it completely warps his worldview and ability to relate to other people, so everything gets distilled into this ideology of hurting bruce and hating capes and being painfully resentful of the concept of mercy to the point where he feels completely righteous because only his self matters because he’s suffered the most.
so to flip that, where you have this character that is completely selfish but views it as having clear-eyed integrity, i think his journey back has to be viewed internally as jason making very self-indulgent choices and externally as recognition of his inverted moral compass and hypocrisy. he selfishly wants his dad back and that personal desire begins to outweigh his desire to punish bruce especially as his criminal crusade rings hollows over time.
also on this i think as part of his process jason has to relearn the value of a human life (and not just the value of the idealized innocent that he still identifies with, those drug dealers and criminals you killed had valuable lives too!) so he’s like ready to be accepted back into the fold he’s going to stop focusing on committing insane amounts of crime and everyone’s like actually no ✋ and this in my head is when he has an issue or two going to Stop Murdering People boot camp courtesy of cass
why are there like 20 heroes in gotham now. can someone go help chicago? toronto? the detroit-windsor international metropolitan area? there are only three islands in gotham city man you don't need to be there it's handled. it's fine. you are not needed. why don't you go become the hero of some city you'd actually be helpful in. go to fucking. saskatoon. go save the noble and helpless people of saskatoon
dick grayson is like if the worlds most suicidal dog could do a backflip
dick getting a sick satisfaction out of seeing bruce try to replace him with various people for the various roles he fills and fail miserably every time vs bruce sick to his stomach seeing dick move on and meet other people knowing dick can easily replace him with someone much better vs dick sick to HIS stomach because no matter how hard he tries he sees bruce everywhere and his replacements are never good enough INJECT IT
sladick is peak bc its like. what if you were fucking your close friends dad. and also he was objectively a horrible person. and also he tried to kill you and your friends before. and also hes an intentional parallel to your not-quite-dad. and also hes obsessed with you
1 2 3 i want yuri
if lonely place of dying were written in the smartphone era tim's lockscreen would have been a candid photo of dick grayson just like minding his business absolutely none the wiser and obviously (while tim is pulling up the google drive app to show alfred and dick his organized megafolder of photography/footage/illegally-downloaded gcpd reports/articles/statistical analyses of batman) both alfred and dick would see this but none of them would acknowledge it least of all tim who at this point still has not explained how he knows dick literally at all
The only thing you need to know about Tim becoming Robin is that he's the protagonist of a horse girl movie and Batman is the horse.
"my biggest problem is you"