I deserve kisses and laughter and cuddles and whispers. I deserve little notes and flowers and “you’re special to me” kind of thoughts throughout the week. I deserve the little things, the simple things to be important and appreciated. I deserve the first and last thoughts of your day, sent by sweet text or growled words in my ear that remind me where, and to whom, I belong. No matter how busy you are, no matter how much I understand, no matter how much I never even ask so as to never ever pressure you.
I deserve laying beside someone after lust-filled, crazy-ass, mind-numbing sex and catching our breaths and thinking about the day and all the crap that came our way. And I deserve that sweet, sensitive, love filled haze of intimacy as you cannot stop from touching me, yearning for me, loving my body like you cannot live without it. I deserve your finger trailed down my cheek and a “Dear GOD, you’re beautiful to me…” I deserve to feel like the only women you could ever gaze at again, and die a happy man.
I deserve hesitant and tentative love and trust that day by day slowly becomes more secure as loyalty remains steadfast and strong. I deserve to be a priority, the only women on your mind, the one you first think of when something good or something horrible happens and you want to tell someone, you want to touch and hold someone. I deserve my best friend as my lover, who knows me inside and out but never tires in searching out that last dark corner of my mind. Someone who recognizes my depth and responds in kind.
I deserve to feel sure of how you look at me, how you feel for me, so that anxiety has no room in my heart when other women inevitably look at you with desire in their eyes. I deserve someone who is proud to have me in their life and doesn’t care who knows, who wants others to know his heart is no longer available for general consumption, because only one girl will do. One girl he cannot live without. Only one he wants to allow to slip inside his heart, his thighs, his mind.
I deserve to be taken care of, to be protected and cherished, for someone to recognize that I give so very much of myself all day long and deserve to have someone take care of me. I deserve someone who recognizes my softness, my meekness, to see past the outer tough shell, to see the girl who needs You like she’s never needed another human being before in her life. I deserve someone who sees ME and yet desires me- weaknesses and all.
I deserve someone who STAYS, who doesn’t leave the moment the going gets tough. Who doesn’t choose someone easier. I deserve someone who wants to be there for me as much as I want to be there for them, someone who values loyalty to the very depths that I do.
I deserve someone who knows who they are, who knows what they want, and who doesn’t waver like the wind based on external factors and influences. I deserve someone who knows they want ME, who has no need to set up back-up options, who doesn’t want them, cause they know that no one else could fill my space, my place, my role on my knees before him. Who knows I was designed to be exactly right there.
I deserve to receive all the things I give, all the things I lay down, all the very things I submit.
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