pairing: tsu’tey and human!avatar driver (fem presenting)
content warnings: graphic language, alien vs human differences, unconventional grief, the RDA sucks, fuck u miles quaritch, tension you could cut with a knife, nsfw themes: grinding, biting, scent marking???. enemies to lovers. (also, i don’t like to capitalize sentences on tumbler :3)
word count: o_0 long… <3 ur welcome
pov: 2nd person so you can add yourself in. for writing/plot purposes, your character is named eris ramsey. i’ll use the name sparingly but i can’t take myself seriously writing y/n— so please just work with me here. i promise it’ll be worth it. (i hope)
SUMMARY: earth was dying and your sister was, too, but cancer killed her faster than humans were killing earth. when she passed, she not only left behind an empty apartment full of memories but a billion dollar avatar without a driver. in a desperate attempt to not waste that money, the program she had spent the last five years preparing to join recruited you— her twin. of course, you agreed. there was nothing left on earth for you. there was nothing left on earth for anyone— that’s why people like your sister were sent off to pandora.
when your sister had spoken of pandora, it seemed like a dream.
the RDA promised it would be like a safari adventure.
truth was that pandora is beautiful. beautiful and unlike anything else across the whole of the universe. it is breathtaking— and that’s because what chases you through the forest hunts with the intent to kill; so you best run like hell even if your lungs are on fire. beasts and monsters of all kinds lurk out of sight waiting for the right moment to kill you dead— but none are as dangerous as him.
the blue shadow with the bow.
the chopper was louder than you remembered. it made it hard to sleep even with the protective headphone over your ears. leaving before the sun was up, you were utterly exhausted. if your head was pounding bad enough to make you scowl with your eyes closed, you couldn’t imagine the headache jake had from his link being broken. with your head rested on his shoulder, the two of you tired your best to sleep.
she came to you in your dreams.
“hey,” grace’s voice was gravelly over the headset. you felt her nudge your leg. “twin one and twin two, wake up before you miss it.”
you let out a soft whine as you stretched. beside you, jake yawned. he turned his head away from the glaring morning sun and tucked it down into your shoulder despite the mask. the cool breeze of oxygen was vital— but you really wished you could’ve taken it off to rub the sleep from your eyes. blinking hard, you tried to focus.
emerging from the clouds, the hallelujah mountains came into view. the massive, floating rocks were covered in green. waterfalls fell into sprays of cool mist that wafted into the helicopter that helped wake up jake. he, too, stared dumbfounded outside.
“ain’t it something?” grace asked.
you turned your head to look at her and all you could do was nod. your eyes welled with tears you didn’t let fall. it was gorgeous. too gorgeous. earth — even as pretty as it was in its prime — could’ve never ever compared to the majesty and the glory that was pandora.
“aaaand that’s another job well done, folks. thanks for traveling air pandora. tips are appreciated.” trudy said in a perfect public service voice as she began to shut down the chopper.
“best damn pilot this side of the universe.” jake said.
trudy smirked. “you know it, baby.”
blue base: hidden was where you would be spending the next handful of months with grace, norm, trudy, and jake. setting up the field lab was no easy task. there was much to do. air filters had to be cleaned. link-pods and tech needed to be recalibrated to deal with the flux vortex. a new radio channel had to be set up in all the walkie-talkies. food needed to be stored away. bunks needed to be prepared.
you had so much to do— too much to do.
and yet you couldn’t stop thinking about tsu’tey.
“hey, where are you going?” grace asked as you rose from the table. you had all eaten dinner as a group once all the work had finally gotten done.
“i have to link.” you said as you tossed away your trash and took a last sip of water.
“it’s late. you should wait until tomorrow.” grace said with a small shake of her head.
“i can’t. i’m sorry.” you frowned at her and whispered, “it’s important. he needs to know.”
while the other three at the table exchanged confused glances, grace only sighed. she got up without another protest and fired up the link-pod. you climbed inside and laid back.
fuck was it going to be hard not to fall asleep.
as soon as your head hit the spongy blue foam, you could’ve fallen asleep right then and there. as soon as the hatch shut and your eyes closed, your vision tunneled into white.
the warm night air and smell of pandoran dinner were a comfort you didn’t know you needed. you laid by yourself for a moment. you were tired. incredibly so. it had been nearly two days since you’d been in your avatar at this point. traveling to the hallelujah mountains and setting up blue base: hidden had taken more time than you thought it would.
the center of home tree was alive with music and dancing. a massive bonfire in the middle of the gathering burned like a second sun. shadows danced across the walls as voices echoed in song. you couldn’t help but smile. you couldn’t help, either, as you scanned face to face looking for him.
“dream-walker, you’re awake.” the tsahik said.
your turned. sitting with her daughter, mo’at ran her fingers over a beaded chord. neytiri did not look at you as you crouched down to be level. instead, she focused on her own beaded chord.
“what’s all this?” you asked with a glance around at the festivities.
neytiri’s voice was like snow. cold and beautiful. it almost hurt your ears how pretty it was— and you realized it was the first time you’d ever heard her speak.
she met your eyes and said, “there has been a death since you were last here. we mourned and now we celebrate.”
for a split moment— a moment you never wanted to live again, you thought it was him.
“an elder passed in her sleep.” the tsahik said. she watched your expression. she seemed to know exactly what you feared. “she lived a long, full life. now she will live forever in eywa.”
“i’m sorry for your loss…” you whispered, saying the only thing you could offer.
“there is no loss,” neytiri said without looking at you. instead, she was focused on something behind you. “you cannot lose what was not really yours.”
you looked up at the sound of your name rolling off his tongue. you shot up, your pupils blown wide. tsu’tey took ahold of your arm and squeezed you. his ears perked and the look in his eyes was one that you’d never thought you’d see.
without another word, he whisked you away. he was always doing that. grabbing and pulling you. you wondered as you hurried to keep up with him, when that had become your favorite part of your day.
to your surprise, you left home tree.
where better to talk privately than where no one was at this hour?
“you were gone a long time.” tsu’tey said as he walked beside you through the sunset painted forest. soon, it would be dark and the forest would glow all on its own.
“i know…i’m sorry.” you said softly. you glanced up at him and heat rushed to your face. he was looking at you. “things— uh…things got real crazy real fast. i’m happy to report that jake is not a spy for the RDA.”
“you are sure of this?” tsu’tey asked, his brows drawing together.
“yes.” you said. you cracked a small smile and laughed. “grace is intent on making sure those who would wish to plant spies here never get the chance. she pulled my whole team out of the RDA facility. we are— well…maybe i shouldn’t tell you where we are.”
tsu’tey’s eyes widened and he asked, “are you not at your colony?”
“no. not anymore. we’ve gone wild. we are far from hell’s gate. far from here, too. at least, i think? i’m not really sure where those floating mountains are.”
you slapped your hand over your mouth.
tsu’tey smiled down at you and chuckled. “what? afraid i’ll come and kill you?”
“maybe…” you whispered, letting your hands drop.
“you have proven yourself to be useful, eris, so there is little to gain by killing you.” tsu’tey said. his arm brushed against yours and he met your eyes. “better yet, you’ve proven yourself to be trustworthy.”
your throat tightened and your chest caved but your forced yourself to smile.
silence settled over the two of you as you walked and you were thankful for it. your voice would’ve cracked and you would’ve cried if you had to say anything more. walking with him now, you realized how scared you had been the last 37 hours.
you stopped dead in your tracks and covered your face with your hands. big, wet tears rolled down your cheeks. the stress of the move and the exhaustion due to it made for an awful, potent mix of a complete and utter overwhelm.
“eris?” tsu’tey whispered your name too gently.
“i’m just tired,” you said. you wiped your eyes hard and tried to calm your breath. you looked up at him and shook your head. “i’m fine.”
“let us go back. we will get you back to your body so that you can sleep.” tsu’tey said.
“no.” you shook your head as tears dripped from your eyes. “i don’t want to go back yet. please. i want to stay here. i want to stay with y—”
tsu’tey ears perked and his pupils rounded. carefully, he flicked his head. without a word, you followed behind him. you had no idea where you were going. you didn’t care. when you came upon a massive tangle of gigantic tree roots, the forest was beginning to glow in the shadows.
“this way,” tsu’tey said as he crouched down.
you raised your hand up to protect your face as you followed him into the dark. a tunnel. the smell of pandoran soil was strong. lights began to twinkle the deeper into the dark tunnel you walked until blue and purple were the only colors you could see.
underground was a small burrow-like cave. the grass shined as you walked. the tree roots were speckled with colorful dots. the gems in the walls of the burrow twinkled and reflected the light. in the center, an unlit firepit. woven mats lined the floor. baskets were placed against the walls.
“what is this place?” you asked softly.
“it is where hunters come to rest if they tire greatly before reaching home tree. there are many places like this in the forest.” tsu’tey said.
you watched as he lit a fire. slowly, you sat down on one of the mats. it took skill to make a fire that fast. you wondered if you’d master something like that one day. would he teach you?
“where is jake’s avatar?” you asked. the thought came to your mind like fire catching onto dry grass. you watched the flames swirl as he added kindle.
“the tsahik’s hut.” tsu’tey said without looking at you.
you looked at him though.
you watched the way his muscles rippled as he moved. you watched the way he shifted his weight as he reached around. when he finally sat down beside you, you stared at his face. his frustratingly handsome face.
was it wrong that you found him handsome?
he was a ten-foot-tall blue alien and all you wanted to do was let your head drop into his lap and fall asleep.
“why do you look at me like that?” tsu’tey asked. his voice was low. low and curious. he turned his head and met your eyes.
you pursed your lips. “like what?”
“like…” tsu’tey hesitated. perhaps he didn’t have the words in english. he cracked an awkward smile. “like you want to…eat me.”
your eyes widened and you couldn’t help but laugh. as heat filled your face, you looked away. “i don’t look at you like that…”
“not— not like you want to chew me and swallow.” tsu’tey was quick to say, worried he confused you. he tried to catch a glimpse of your face as he sat forward. “but like you want to…i don’t know. forget it. i can’t express it well.”
“it’s because i think you’re hot.”
when he didn’t say anything, you forced yourself to look at him. his ears were perked. he was waiting for you to explain. to say more. you found it hard to.
“hot…” tsu’tey repeated. “like i burn you?”
“kinda.” you said with a small laugh. you played with one of the braids in your hair as you stared at the fire. “it just means i…i think you’re attractive. you’re good looking. i think you’re hot.”
“is that why you try to put your mouth on mine?” tsu’tey asked.
you wanted to curl into a ball and die.
“yeah…” you said softly, nodding your head. you exhaled the air in your lungs awkwardly.
“i feel like that about you.”
you nearly broke your neck looking up at him so fast. your eyes widened and your lips parted in a soft expression of shock. you don’t know why it surprised you so much. he had literally tried to fuck you in the hot springs.
still, it was different hearing it so outright.
“you…think i’m hot?” you asked under your breath.
tsu’tey nodded once. “yes.”
“and you want to…kiss me?”
your heart was racing and so much blood was rushing to your face that you felt light headed— but you had to keep your wits about you.
you laid back on your elbows and nodded, trying to seem as nonchalant as you could. “epic.”
“epic?” tsu’tey asked as he, too, laid back on his elbows. he looked at you. “what is epic?”
“forget it.” you said with a small shake of your head.
silence fell over the both of you. the burrow was full only with the sounds of crackling sticks. soft, even breaths. a small hum of some tune he whispered under his breath. you looked up at him but he kept his eyes on the fire.
it became warm in the safe haven below the ground. perfectly warm. it made your eyes heavy. his humming did, too. slowly, you slipped down to lay on your side. when you did, he did the same. on the mat beside you, he rested his head on his palm and watched you as he hummed.
“i don’t want to fall asleep…” you murmured, rubbing your eyes. you smiled faintly. “you’re making me sleepy.”
“what is it you want then?” tsu’tey asked in a low voice.
he sighed the smallest bit. “just say it and i will do it.”
you hesitated for a moment.
tsu’tey tensed as you wiggled closer and curled up against his chest. he looked down at you. with your eyes closed, you tried to play it cool— but your heart was pounding in your chest.
the tension in you died away as he brushed his fingers down your arm. you relaxed as he laid down with you. his arm slid underneath your head. a perfect pillow. his legs tangled with yours. his lips rested against the top of your head.
he placed the faintest kiss on your hairline.
you were no longer tired.
all you could hear was the pound of your heart. it was like thunder. you breathed as deeply and as evenly as you could to keep yourself from squirming. you hoped he couldn’t feel the way your heart raced.
“mawey,” tsu’tey murmured, reaching between you to place his hand on your chest.
it only made you less calm.
slowly, you lifted your head to be eye-to-eye with him. with his hand still on your chest, he could feel the beat your heart had skipped. his pupils widened as you stared into his eyes. his tail was swaying, audibly swishing against the mat.
“what?” you asked softly.
“you smell good,” tsu’tey whispered, a small smile curling on his lip.
you bit the inside of your cheek. you knew what he was getting at. pheromones. you inhaled through your nose. the smell of the fire was all that you could really pick out. that and a sweet, faint aroma you figured was the grass.
you shook your head. “i only smell the fire.”
tsu’tey let out a low sigh but smiled anyways. “you are frustrating…do you know that?”
“i don’t mean to be.” you said softly.
“i know,” he dragged his fingers up your arm and pressed his palm against your face. “which is even more frustrating...”
and it took everything in you not to moan.
worse, it was harder not to devour him completely.
he kissed you slowly and softly, as if he were testing out the waters. maybe he expected you to feel different on his lips than real na’vi women did. or perhaps kissing was entirely different on pandora than it was on earth.
you liked it best when he told you what to do.
your fingers laced through his braids as you kissed him back. his lips were like velvet. his mouth was hot. you wanted to taste him but you didn’t know if you could. you were too afraid to ruin this by doing something too human.
but you couldn’t help it.
you parted your lips in the hopes that he would give you more.
his tongue was wet and coarse as it dipped into your mouth. you sighed against his lips and wrapped your arms around his neck. guiding you to the ground, he leaned the top half of himself over you as your tongues slow danced together.
he tasted so fucking good.
he smelled so fucking good.
his pheromones hit you like an anvil to the head like in those old cartoons. salvia filled your mouth and a tingle began to vibrate in your belly. between your legs, your pussy began to weep. your tail curled itself tight around your leg. you felt breathless. you felt hot all over.
you felt so bad for not realizing what you did to him without even knowing it.
tsu’tey pulled his lips away from yours but he did not remove them from you. he glided them along your jaw. he nipped at your throat as you tilted your head back. you were squirming below him, panting and huffing as he kissed the sweetest spots you had. soon enough, you were grinding against each other.
a sharp yelp escaped you as he bit into the crook of your neck. fangs threatened to puncture through your skin— but they didn’t. he didn’t. he just wanted to bite. and bite you he did. over and over again, across your throat and shoulders, tsu’tey bit you hard enough to draw gasps from your lips but not enough to bruise.
your eyes shot open as he rolled you onto your side. the fire warmed your face but that was nothing compared to the flush that burned in your cheeks as he pressed himself against your backside. he pushed his hips forward into your ass. you could feel his erection. it throbbed against you from below his loincloth
“i will not mate with you face to face,” tsu’tey murmured against your ear. he dragged his lips along the pointed cartilage. “but we may do it like this and i will hold you just as close.”
“why can’t we face each other?” you asked softly, squirming back to be closer to him.
you tried to look over your shoulder and meet his eyes but he tucked his face down into the nape of your neck and bit down. you winced softly and closed your eyes, grinding back against him subconsciously.
“because if we look at each other, we grow attached.” tsu’tey said, his breath hot against your neck. it made you shiver. “na’vi can only mate for life by forming tsaheylu but there is still a deep connection that comes with staring into the eyes of someone you mount.”
“i may not be a virgin, eris, but i have never faced anyone while i coupled with them.” tsu’tey said as he reached down between you both and pushed your leg up to your belly. he was making room for himself. “that honor shall belong only to my mate.”
your heart sank at once. “to neytiri…”
“to whomever i chose.” tsu’tey said gruffly.
he didn’t have much of a choice.
“this is wrong.” you said softly. you turned onto your tummy and looked at him. well, you tried your best to. it was hard to look him in the eye.
“what is?” tsu’tey asked with a small shake of his head.
“if you’re…if you’re supposed to mate with neytiri for life, what are we doing? it doesn’t feel right. it feels like you’re cheating on her.” you said through the tightness in your throat.
tsu’tey frowned and leaned into you. he pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. “na’vi cannot cheat. until na’vi form tsaheylu, they are not bonded to anyone or anything besides their ikran. once na’vi mate, there cannot be another.”
“we are doing nothing wrong.” tsu’tey murmured against your ear. he nipped at it softly. “but if you do not wish to, i will not make you.”
“i do wish to but it doesn’t seem right. i’m not…i don’t even know what i’m doing here. i’m not like you. not up here.” you pointed to your head. “and not here either.” you placed your hand on your chest.
tsu’tey pushed himself up onto his knees as you sat up. you were almost entirely turned away from him. slowly, he came up behind you. he ran his hands down your arms and peeked his head over your shoulder. you tried your best to ignore him.
“no matter what you are, eywa has chosen you for something.” tsu’tey whispered into your ear. he wrapped his arm around you and placed his palm against your thumping heart. “no matter what you are, this heart is strong.”
“no matter what you are, i see you.”
you turned your head and met his striking yellow gaze. your lips were ajar in soft shock. your ears pinned and perked. your tail curled itself into knots as butterflies ate at your insides.
at least, he thought he could.
he had no idea who the real you was.
you frowned at him as you studied the details of his face. “i wish that were true.”
his brows drew together and he tilted his head.
“you don’t even know me.” you said under your breath. you looked away and closed your eyes tight. “you said it yourself, my kind are a disease on this land. we don’t belong here. i…i shouldn’t be doing this with you.”
“i speak in anger. it is my curse. for that i am sorry.” tsu’tey said in a low, gentle voice. he slid his hands around your hips and down your thighs, keeping you close. “i will stop being cruel.”
“it’s not like i make it very easy for you to be nice sometimes,” you whispered as you watched his fingers trace the stripes on your thighs.
“we both need to improve.” tsu’tey said as he brushed his nose along your ear. “it is something we shall work on.”
he was being too affectionate. it was wearing your resolve thin— but was he being affection because he liked you or just to get laid?
your chest started to hurt all over again.
“we can’t,” you whispered.
tsu’tey sighed and hugged you closer. “we can.”
“no we can’t.” you turned. facing him was harder. you wished you stayed looking the other way. “there is no we. you are promised to another and in human culture, i’d be considered a homewrecker.”
“eris,” he breathed your name as if it pained him. “i don’t want neytiri. and nor does she want me.”
“i thought you said it was duty.” you said with a small shake of your head.
he scowled at you and squished your cheeks between his fingers. “you never stop talking…”
“wllwhatdyowan.” you tried to say through your squished lips. tsu’tey rolled his eyes and removed his hand from your face. rubbing your cheek, you asked again.
“what i want is for you to turn over and let me inside you, woman. i want that very much. to hold and bite and kiss you.” tsu’tey said almost impatiently.
you annoyed him so greatly.
and yet he wanted you anyways.
“will you at least let me earn it first?” you asked. your voice was hardly loud enough. your face was hot and your tail was swaying wildly behind you.
he tipped his head. “what?”
you sighed and looked down into your lap. you picked at the skin around your nails and rolled your eyes as embarrassment weighed on your chest. so stupid. this was so stupid. you were so, so stupid…
“i want that, too, but i can’t even shoot an arrow. i feel…unworthy.” you cringed as you said the word. you should’ve just shut up and let him fuck you.
“eris,” he tried to interject but you wouldn’t let him.
“once i learn how to be more like you and less like…like me…then…okay.” you looked up at him and bit your lip. you couldn’t read his expression. “we can…we can do whatever this is.” you gestured between you both to whatever tension was tangled around you.
tsu’tey only stared at you. you felt like a slide under a microscope. he took in every detail of you. every facet. every stripe and dot. every fine hair on your almost na’vi face.
he only nodded once. “it is decided then.”
strength was something you never thought you could have.
on earth, the pollution had made you feel sick. it kept you indoors. it made your mind hazy. on pandora, there was no mist in your mind. there was no laying around— not on the path the you had chosen to walk.
you wanted to be a warrior.
rain or shine, you were out in the forest with tsu’tey learning how to be strong. strong in your body, in your head, and in your heart. every day you would run. along the forest floor, over the towering tree roots, in the muddy riverbed. you ran and ran and ran and built up your stamina. every day you would climb. you climbed trees, rocks, and vines. you learned how to pull yourself, push yourself, and most importantly— catch yourself.
archery was the hardest for you.
the first time you shot an arrow, it ricocheted off a rock and nearly flew back at you. tsu’tey hadn’t even known that level of bad luck was possible. you hadn’t done much wrong, either. it was not your posture. it was not your technique.
“here…” he said under his breath, eyes still wide. he came up behind you and adjusted your elbow. the adjustment would change nothing. it was too small— but he didn’t want you to feel terrible. “try like that instead.”
“sure…” you muttered, keeping your elbow straight.
archery was far harder than riding a direhorse. while you sustained more injuries riding mitsia, at least there was pay off. there was visible progress. the art archery took you hours to get comfortable with.
and then it took you days to master.
“can you see?” tsu’tey asked as he grabbed your face. he looked into your eyes. “you can see, yes?”
“yeah, i can fuckin’ see.” you huffed as you turned your face away. you ignored him as you tried again. it was pouring. the rain was cold and the wind was harsh. “it’s the wind. the wind is fucking me up.”
“it was not windy yesterday when you did not hit anything.” tsu’tey said.
you hissed at him and he was quick to look away.
days were spent in the archery clearing. while jake was learning how to ride a direhorse with neytiri — who got stuck with training a demon of her own under orders from her father — you were stuck every day in that clearing with tsu’tey. he resorted to drawing in the dirt to pass the time as you missed target after target.
there was only so much bad luck someone could have, right? surely, you were just getting it all out now. one big awful week of it.
tsu’tey paced behind you as you drew your arm back. all day you had spent out in the glaring sun. not one time did you hit the target. instead, you hit everything around it.
seriously, you had to have been mentally deficient.
you took a breath and held it. you focused. you closed one eye and honed in one the wooden board with a big yellow dot on it. you exhaled slowly. in the stillness between breaths, you shot the arrow.
dead in the center of the yellow dot, your arrow pierced the board. the yellow and green calling card waved as the arrow rattled.
“ah!” you gasped, your eyes wide. “oh, my god!”
“yes!” tsu’tey exclaimed.
you turned to him and threw your arms up. you nearly screeched with joy as he hooked his arms around your waist and lifted you up. you hugged him tight as he yipped with excitement. he placed you back on the ground and cupped your face.
“you did it!” he said with a wide smile.
“do it again.” he encouraged, nudging your waist.
your smile dropped. “uh…”
“come on,” tsu’tey turned you around and urged you to raise the bow. “you can do it. breathe and shoot.”
you pulled an arrow out from behind your back and loaded the bow. you breathed deep and focused on the target. you let the arrow fly free and it narrowly missed.
“no, no. don’t get discouraged. again. come on.” tsu’tey said, giving your back a soft pat. “you can do it.”
you ignored how hot your face felt. you cleared your throat and shook out the nervous tension in your body. once more, you loaded an arrow into your bow. you kept your core tight. you kept your arm straight. you took a breath— and you let it fly.
the arrow landed just a little ways above the first.
you turned your head to meet his eyes and you couldn’t help but smile. he smiled, too, and ran a gentle hand over your hair.
“well done, tsamsiyu.” tsu’tey said.
since that day in the hunters burrow, tsu’tey had made an effort to be kinder. in the same regard, so had you. while you still bickered and he still called you a moron every chance he got, there was less turmoil between the two of you.
replacing it was tension.
heavy, painful tension that made every moment harder than it should’ve been. no time was harder than when you would sit across from him and try you best to learn his language. you weren’t hopeless— but you weren’t fluent.
you watched as he gestured to the space around you. you scrunched your nose and clenched as if you were pushing the word forward in your mind.
“fuck, i know this.” you muttered.
“yes. you do. i’ve told you it fifty times.” tsu’tey said, continuing the gesture. he looked above. he looked below. he looked around.
“fra’u!” you gasped, pointing a finger at him. “fra’u! everything!”
tsu’tey grinned and nodded. he was quick to move onto the next word. he pursed his lips and whistled.
“fwefwi,” you said with a small laugh. “whistle.”
tsu’tey whistled again and swayed his hand from side to side. your brows drew together and your shook your head at him. he repeated the action once more, whistling and he swayed his hand.
“wind?” you asked. when he rolled his eyes at you, you corrected yourself. “hufwe.”
“mn,” he nodded. “and if you were to say that it was a light wind?”
“good.” he smiled. he beckoned your forward and you scooted closer to him. he dragged his finger across your lower lid. “what are these?”
“nari.” you answered. “eyes.”
he smacked you with his tail. “this?”
you smacked him with yours. “kxetse. tail.”
he brushed his thumb across your lips. “and these?”
your mind went blank. staring at him, all you could do was blink. slowly, your lips curled into a smile as his did, too. he seemed to enjoy your sudden speechlessness.
“i— i don’t remember.” you said with a soft, bashful laugh.
he titled his head and cocked an eyebrow. “you don’t remember?”
you giggled and shook your head. “no, i don’t.”
“c’mon,” tsu’tey purred. “you know. you must know.”
your ears perked. hearing human slang come out of him was still so awe-striking. while his antics and habits rubbed off on you, yours rubbed off on him, too. you spent so much time together. little things like that were a reminder of just how much time you spent together.
“i don’t remember. seriously, i don’t. i think i have to touch your lips to remember.” you said with a small, devious little smile.
“oh…” tsu’tey’s eyes widened and his pupils dilated. he leaned forward and tried to suppress his smirk. “go on then, skxawng.”
slowly, you traced the shape of his lips. your breath caught in your throat as you remembered how it felt to kiss him. meeting his eyes, you could almost see his thoughts.
he was thinking the same thing.
“lips.” you said. you shook your head. “i don’t remember.”
“meseyri,” tsu’tey said softly. his breath was warm against your fingers. “awstengyem meseyri. two lips.”
“meseyri.” you repeated, gliding your fingers across the soft pinkish-purple skin of his lips.
tsu’tey pressed a soft kiss to the tips of your fingers.
you dropped your hand and pushed yourself forward, not being able to bare it another second. denying the pull between you the last few weeks had been torture. he grabbed your throat eagerly and tugged you into a kiss. a husky huff escaped him as you slipped your tongue into his mouth. he tugged at your waist, hoarding you closer.
your lips only got to meet for a moment before you heard the thundering of hooves.
tsu’tey pulled back and looked over the side of the towering root you were sat on. with the sun beginning to set, warriors and hunters began to return home. among them, jake and neytiri.
“come,” tsu’tey said. he had begun speak small words and phrases in na’vi to help familiarize you with the language. “it is time to eat.”
“hey!” jake waved as you entered the dining circle. he was sat by himself waiting for you. unlike tsu’tey who would sit with you at dinners, neytiri had never once sat with jake.
although, tsu’tey had stopped sitting with you now that jake was around.
he gave your arm a soft squeeze before parting ways with you. sitting down in front of jake, you smiled. there was always relief in seeing him. especially since he looked pretty beat up, too, after a day of trying to ride a direhorse. it made you feel better to know that even a marine got bucked off.
“rough day?” you asked with a teasing smile.
“nah. not too bad.” jake said as he picked up a skewer of roasted meat. he took a bite and was quick to chew. “your day?”
“lots of na’vi practice. my heads all jumbled with it.” you said as you picked up a fig-like fruit and took a bite of it. it tasted so sweet that it made your tail curl in delight. no fruit had ever been that sweet and delicious on earth.
when sat together, earth was something you and jake talked about often. comparing foods, flora, animals, and customs, you and jake could talk for hours about how different pandora was. how wonderful it was. how scary it was.
“you know; in the end, i think coming in blind to all this may have been a good thing.” jake said as he chewed on the skewer like a toothpick. “i think if i had known half the stuff i know about this place, i would’ve stayed home.”
“really?” you asked, your brows raising. “i figured this was just your kinda place, marine.”
“well, it is now that i’m here. especially now that im here in this place.” jake glanced around at the clan and smiled. “but if i had been told there were actual fucking monsters and plants that could shock you and spray poison…i definitely would’ve passed on it.”
“maybe i would’ve, too, honestly. i got to study up on the language and the forest. conveniently, the RDA left out the palulukan and the nantang from my guide.” you sighed just a bit and you looked around, your eyes falling on someone sitting just close enough for you to see every detail of. “i think it more so boils down for me to missing things on earth rather than not wanting to be here.”
“what do you miss most?” jake asked.
“tv.” you sighed. the corner of your lip pulled into a smile. “not so much the movies. grace has movies if we really wanted to watch them. i’m talking about television. shitty reality shows. documentaries of what earth used to be like when it was green. cooking shows. stuff like that.”
“i think i miss the sounds of the city the most. i miss the noise. here, it’s too quite. in hell’s gate, it’s too mechanical. up in the mountains, it’s all wind and nothing else.” jake said as he leaned back on his arms. he shrugged a bit. “i miss the sound of people. humans like us. cars beeping. distant laughter. high heels on concrete. tires on a rainy street. hell, even hearing people swear at each other.”
“i haven’t thought about things like that being here.” you said. you glanced around. the chatter of the clan was filling to the ears— but not in the way the bustle and hustle of earth was. in some way, you did miss it. especially the tires on a rainy street. that had soothed you to sleep your whole life.
“that’s a good one.” you said as you met jake’s eyes. you nodded. “i definitely miss things like that.”
“sometimes, i even miss the stink.” jake laughed lowly. he shook his head and tilted it back, smiling to himself. “it’s stupid but i brace myself for the smell of smog and gas every time i go outside here. i feel stupid, of course, but i almost miss the way the air would wreak.”
you laughed, too, and felt silly for understanding exactly what he meant. it was awful. it was disgusting. but it was home.
firelight and bioluminescence. blue skin and yellow eyes. fangs. monsters in the forest. floating mountains.
you’d always miss earth — some part of you would — but this was home.
jake was still new to the forests and the clan and home tree like you had once been. to him, it was foreign. to you, it was only more and more familiar as the days passed. you were beginning to make friends with the other hunters who had yet to pass iknimaya. saeyla was the kindest to you. she always said hi when she saw you. mo’at was always happy to see you. eytukan dipped his head and was polite enough.
and then there was tsu’tey.
sometimes, it felt like he was the only thing that made the world go round.
“did you eat enough?” tsu’tey asked as he walked you to your hammock.
“oh, yeah. i’m stuffed.” you said with a smile, patting your belly. you turned to say goodnight but the expression on his face stopped you. “what?”
“i overheard you and jake’suli,” tsu’tey said with a bit of reluctance. he wouldn’t meet your gaze. “you miss earth?”
your brows drew together and you felt hot with guilt.
oh, jesus…did he think you wanted to leave?
you could’ve up-chucked your whole dinner.
“sometimes i do but…but i don’t want to go back.” you said as quickly as you could but the words nearly alluded you.
“but you miss the sounds of your people.” tsu’tey looked into your eyes and his ears dropped. “and that is different from my people, yes? a city is not like this.”
“no…no a city isn’t like this. it’s loud. really loud. always loud.” you said with a small sigh. your shoulders dropped and you couldn’t help but look around. “it’s always glowing. not like the forest glows but bright lights. so many lights. in order to sleep, i would have to close my blinds and sometimes even cover my face with my hoodie.”
“i prefer this.” you said as you placed your hand on his chest. he met your eyes and seemed to soften under your gaze. “this is peace. earth so rarely knew peace. even though you hunt and craft by hand here, it was so much harder to survive on earth.”
“you are happy, yes?” tsu’tey asked.
the question surprised you.
is that what he was worried about? your happiness?
“yes,” you whispered. your ears dropped but your tail swayed back and forth. the question touched you. deeply and wholly. “yes, of course. of course, i’m happy. truly.”
“that is good. i was afraid that…that i made you feel like you did not belong.” tsu’tey said with shame lacing his voice.
you were speechless. all you could do was shake your head. he didn’t make you feel that way…
“you are different and that is true…but you do belong here.” tsu’tey placed his hand on your chest. “strong heart. and it belongs right here.”
you laid awake that night in your bunk.
staring at the stars through the glass in the ceiling, your chest felt warm and fuzzy. in the dark, you smiled to yourself. his words had touched you. sometimes, it was hard to understand where you stood with tsu’tey. one day he couldn’t stand you, the next he was all over you and drowning you in affection. he was strict and then he was easy going. he was mean and then he was kind.
sometimes, it gave you whiplash.
other times, it made you want to smack him and then kiss him before he could feel the pain.
tomorrow you may very well fall asleep wanting to smack him upside the head but tonight you wanted nothing more than a single kiss from him.
“eris,” norm said, shaking you awake. “eris, get up.”
“huh?” you picked your head up and tried to open your eyes. “what’s wrong?”
miles quaritch was outside.
you scrambled out of your bunk and hurried to throw on a decent pair of clothes. you slipped into jeans and pulled on an RDA issued shirt. you fixed your hair as best you could and stepped into your boots. as you hurried through the small tactical base, you nearly tripped over your own feet.
were your video logs about archery training insufficient? of course, they were but you had no idea what you were doing. you had no idea how to gather the kind of intel that the head of security wanted.
you almost forgot to grab an oxygen mask before going into the airlock. thank god for trudy.
pushing open the heavy metal door, the morning breeze was cold so high up in the atmosphere. your breath was ragged and nearly fogged your mask. the helicopter outside was…trudy’s.
and grace was not standing with the colonel.
she was standing with him.
tsu’tey was unbelievably gigantic.
your heart could’ve stopped. your knees nearly gave out as his ikran screeched at you. he raised a gentle hand and stroked the creatures long face. yellow eyes flicked towards you— and his pupils blew wide.
“i’ll leave you two to talk.” grace said as she passed by you.
‘no!’ you wanted to beg, ‘don’t leave me alone with him!’
the door sealed shut and so had your fate.
slowly, you turned and his shadow swallowed you whole. with a yip, he sent his ikran away. the blue, white, and yellow patterned creature dove off the cliff and soared through the skies. tsu’tey tilted his head at you, his tail flicking behind him as you approached.
“what— what the hell are you doing here?” you asked, your voice tight in your throat. “how…how the hell did you…how did you find us?”
“there is only one rock amongst the many that float with these on it.” tsu’tey said, flicking his head towards the field lab behind you.
“you are small.” tsu’tey said as he crouched down. he smirked as you recoiled. “are you scared of me?”
“no,” you lied. you steeled your spine, trying to seem taller than you actually were. “you’re just…big.”
big was an understatement. he was over ten feet tall and you were lucky to be the height you were.
tsu’tey’s tail swayed through the grass. if it hit you, it probably would’ve bruised you. it may have been able to break a rib. he seemed mindful of that fact as you stared at it.
“what are you doing here?” you asked as you looked back up into his eyes. even when he was crouched you had to tilt your head back.
“i have come to learn about you.” tsu’tey said. he crawled forward to be closer and sat down in front of you. finally, you were somewhat level. “you spend all day and all night with me…it is only fair i come to you.”
“i…” you didn’t even know what to say. your head was spinning. it was hard to breathe even with oxygen being pumped right into your face. “there isn’t much to do here…you won’t fit inside the field lab easily. you wouldn’t be able to breathe well, either. it’s all oxygen in there. besides, it’s crowded.”
“can we not sit here?” tsu’tey asked with a small tilt of his head.
“we can…but it’s just— it’s cold.” you whispered, drawing your arms in close around you. you should’ve grabbed a sweater or a hoodie.
“come,” tsu’tey motioned for you to sit in his lap. “you will be warm here.”
“oh— oh, my god, no.” you said. you looked away as red filled your cheeks. “the whole crew is no doubt watching us through the window. i can’t just sit…there.”
tsu’tey looked passed you. sure enough, they were all watching. they were quick to scramble but they couldn’t go far. there was little privacy. jake would link soon. so would norm and grace— if grace decided not to study her samples and log her findings. and trudy would just…do whatever trudy did to pass the time.
“can i take you somewhere?” tsu’tey asked with an edge of caution to his voice.
“nope.” you refused. shaking your head and wiggling a finger at him, you said, “absolutely not. my fragile human ass stays put.”
tsu’tey huffed under his breath and pursed his lips. “always so difficult.”
“if you really wanted…we could use the west wing. it’s for bunking and it’s not going to be full at this hour now that everyone is up. i can see if grace can find a way for you to breathe.” you said with a small shrug.
tsu’tey seemed apprehensive to be stuck inside a small metal box but he flicked his head.
you were quick to hurry inside. within a few minutes, grace had made a reversed oxygen mask for tsu’tey. it was janky and if it didn’t work well he’d have to go back outside, but she had filled a larger oxygen canister with pandoran air and found a spare mouth-and-nose mask she connected to it.
tsu’tey clearly regretted his choices as he crawled through the front door. you were quick to guid him straight to the west wing. the ceiling was a bit taller there because of the bunks, so he didn’t have to keep his head hunched over so much.
“hey, watch the tail.” trudy said.
tsu’tey tucked his tail. he was quick to slide himself into the bunk room. you closed the door behind him and rested your forehead against it. you sighed. your heart was racing. slowly, you turned. when you did, you found him staring at the wall decorated with pictures of your life on earth. posters of your favorite animals. cities. pictures of you and your parents. pictures of your sister.
“i’m the one on the left,” you said as you pulled you mask off. carefully, you brushed your hair out of your face.
“i know.” tsu’tey said, gently touching the photo. he looked at you and his pupils dilated. “i know you, eris.”
you let out a soft breath. he reached down and lifted the mask to his face, inhaling slowly. unlike you, he could breathe oxygen for a while. not forever but longer than you could breathe his air.
“i did not think you would look so much like you.” tsu’tey said as you approached. while he sat on the floor, you sat on the bed. jake’s bunk.
you shrugged and shook your head. “ta-da?”
tsu’tey grinned at you even though he did not quite understand what it was that you meant. “ta-da, yes.”
“so…” you smacked your hands on your thighs and exhaled softly. “what do you wanna do?”
“i want to know what tivee is.” tsu’tey said. he looked around the room and tried to pin point what may have been tv. “i heard you tell jake’suli you missed it and i want to see why.”
you shook your head. “i don’t think i should.”
“why not?” tsu’tey asked, his invisible brows drawing together.
“because you may like it too much and start an industrial revolution like the RDA is trying to do.” you said with a soft laugh.
“i do not know what you just said but i want to see tv.” tsu’tey insisted.
you sighed. there was little point in saying no. getting up off of the bed, you walked around him. he turned, being mindful not to knock into anything. he watched as you crouched down to plug in the chord. you pressed the button on the bottom and the screen filled with static.
“it may not even work.” you said over your shoulder.
you flicked through the tapes grace had in box and pulled out the most fitting one. star wars: return of the sith. tsu’tey scooted closer as the movie began. you took a seat beside him and used the remote to turn up the volume. as the opening credits rolled, the music made his ears perk.
“what does it say?” tsu’tey asked, watching the yellow letters roll across the screen. he brought the mask to his mouth and took a deep breath.
you read the preface of the movie to him and did your best to explain what it all meant. you knew it was lost to him but he was fixated anyways— especially when humans appeared on the screen. he was transfixed.
“did you have that?” tsu’tey asked, pointing to the flying car on the screen.
you laughed and shook your head. “at the time this movie came out, flying cars didn’t exist. in my time, i didn’t have enough money.”
“no,” you said with a small smile. “i didn’t have a flying car.”
he nodded and turned his attention back to the screen. you sat in silence as you watched the movie. every now and again he lifted the mask to his mouth to take a breath. he would ask a question here and there. it amazed him— but he did not understand much of what was said. soon enough, he wasn’t quite seeing the point of a movie.
“why do you watch stuff like this?” he asked.
“for fun.” you said with a small shrug. “humans really value entertainment. star wars is one of the biggest movie series ever. very well loved.”
“do you like this movie?” he asked with a curious tilt of his head.
you gave him your honest answer.
once more, it fell silent between you. you watched the movie with a sense of nostalgia weighing heavy on your heart. this was the first time you’d actually sat and watched anything since you’d arrived on pandora. it was comforting yet so foreign at the same time.
you looked up at him, your eyes wide and your cheeks red. you had not expected that question. all you could do was blink.
so carefully you weren’t sure if he even touched you, tsu’tey ran his hand over the top of your head. his ears perked and his tail swished against the metal floor.
“soft…” he murmured, purely infatuated. “different than mine. so…thin. like very fine twine strings.”
“well, you are like twelve feet tall.” you said with a small laugh. he could’ve easily crushed you in the palm of his hand if he wanted to. “everything about you is bigger than me.”
“your chest is big.” tsu’tey said, looking down at your breasts.
you couldn’t help but laugh. nodding, you said, “yeah. i told you, human women have bigger chests than na’vi women.”
“can i touch?” he asked, extending a hand towards you.
you were quick to cover your breasts and gawked at him. “no! are you crazy?”
“why not?” tsu’tey asked. he moved closer to you and tilted his head. now more so than ever, he was entirely cat-like. it took looking at him through human eyes to see it. “is it because you are in this body and not your na’vi one?”
“yeah,” you breathed, looking away from him.
he pursed his lips the smallest bit. “can i kiss you?”
“jesus christ, are you in heat or something?” you asked.
“no, not now.” he said. he shrugged and flicked his head towards you. “i am just…curious. i want to kiss you as you and see if it is the same.”
“just a kiss?” you glanced at him.
“just one.” he nodded, sitting on his hands as if to promise you he wouldn’t do anything more than that.
slowly, you pushed yourself up. standing in front of him, you were level enough. your heart raced in your chest as he stared at you. he took in every movement you made. he tensed as you neared and that made you even more nervous.
“this is weird…” you said, pulling back the smallest bit.
“no,” he insisted. he reached out a hand that ghosted along the small curve of your back. “it’s not.”
you swallowed your embarrassment alongside your pride as you leaned forward and pressed a soft, lingering kiss onto his lips.
sparks shot through you from your head to your toes.
when you pulled back, his pupils were so large you could hardly see the yellow of his eyes. his tail smacked into the metal frame of the bunk bed and thumped wildly against the floor. as your cheeks reddened and reddened and reddened his ears perked up and up and up.
“why are you red?” he asked softly.
“i’m flustered…” you whispered.
tsu’tey smiled. “it was good.”
“it was good,” you said with a small, quick nod.
“again?” he asked, leaning forward. “to make sure.”
you couldn’t help but laugh.
he smiled as you reached up and placed your hands on his face. he dipped his head down and kissed you again, softly and sweetly. kisses like these were much different from how he kissed you when you were the same size and same blue shade.
“good,” he purred. his lips curled into a smile as he reached down to pull the mask to his face. he took a few deep breaths. “very good.”
you could only watch him in awe. you sat down in front of him and tried to wipe the blush from your cheeks. of course, it didn’t work. not even a little bit. he hunched over to be more level with you and it made you giggle.
he was even more striking to the human eye.
you sat quietly as he picked up your hand and examined your five little fingers. he was intrigued by your pinky. to him, it was an extra pinky. with his four thick fingers, your hand seemed so frail and dainty. he touched the lines of your palm and smiled to himself as you shivered at the sensation.
“it is strange,“ tsu’tey said lowly. “how you are so different and still so the same…i thought it would be hard to recognize you. hard to see you with this face and not that face…but it is not hard.”
you curled your whole hand around his index finger and pulled it close. you placed his hand on your chest. your heart beat below his palm. he met your eyes and his ears perked. it made you smile.
“i see you.” you whispered.
tsu’tey leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours. he smiled to himself, enjoying the way your little heart beat so strong under the tips of his fingers as he neared.
“i see you,” he said like a promise.
this chapter was so much fun to write :P i love soft tsu’tey!!!! hope you guys enjoyed. lmk your thoughts <3 as always, thanks for reading!! — moony
tag list — @plantgirliewholovespandora