monstrous existence

a world so grand it could equal the love in my heart

[bluespaceghost]

burial ground boys and graveyard girls // 7.1.19

[bluespaceghost]

why does a bird speak for me // 6.30.19

[honeycranes]

It doesn’t take much to erase a trans person

It also doesn’t take much to make a trans person feel seen and validated

[bluespaceghost]

-

are you mad at me / i don’t understand why / what do you mean

[wishbzne-deactivated20210526]

pre–amphibian, margaret atwood

[bluespaceghost]

-

seven things you learned in sunday school, or, seven quotes from your religion textbook, or, seven sentences that broke your heart

[bluespaceghost]

-

on living and finding a home

(aka the ever-present question of city or countryside)

[sienaries]

[antigoneblue]

girls on a roof // antigoneblue - posted here - for @autoenyo - happy birthday!!!! i love you <3

[bluespaceghost]

i keep being drawn to pieces of art that fill me with a sense of shadowy existence, of clouds of somethingness like fog dropping into a clear river, and i don’t know what that means but maybe it’s why i’m so drawn to you. everything is muddled in my heart and, it’s like i was dragged through the murky water and came out gasping, but not for air, but for the water i had just escaped from. why is it, that i am so drawn to the sharp pain in my chest, why is it that the hurting gives me a reason to stay alive, proof that i am alive, proof that there’s something in this world that makes me feel something, and if i can feel pain then maybe i can feel joy. i don’t remember the last time i felt that bright shoreline so i keep grasping onto the pulsing pain because it’s better than the dullness, better than drowning, better than sinking, and how am i supposed to survive without the stabbing hurt of loving that i don’t think is supposed to come with love but came with this anyway, what am i supposed to do if i can’t love you, where am i supposed to go if not home to you, who am i supposed to be if not yours, there was an unintended side effect of loving you and it was the hurt but it came with you just the same. i don’t know how to love without being hurt and i don’t know if i want to.

-5/27/19