Tayah Jessie

Australian // 16 yo bitch // My country is better than yours // Please just fucking annihilate me

[bluteej]

titty

[bluteej]

You ever sneeze and no one says bless you and ur like,,,,,, wow okay,,,,,, guess I’ll just bless myself then,,,,,

[bluteej]

Memories ❤️

[neeteryincorporated]

[finofilipino]

[eltigrechico]

V i e w s       f r o m      3 0 3 8

[slavery]

[young-replica]

[theinturnetexplorer]

laser-free diet.

[floatingwithobrien]

y'all need to hear about gerb.

gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story.

when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that’s not a thing. but old cass wouldn’t hear a word of it.

the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY.

and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives.

one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn’t paying attention.

now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb’s boss came to him and said “uh,”

“you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift” and gerb says “i recall” “that’s about four times faster than anything i’ve ever seen” and gerb says “yea ok” “jeremy what happened?”

and gerb says

“i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation”

[gomjabbar]

i’m sorry. portmanteau bot has gone berserk. we have to put it down. once i activate the seal we’ll only have one shot to take it down. ready your blades, legionnaires

[gomjabbar]

bitch fartman

[portmanteau-bot]

bartman.

This portmanteau was created from phrase ‘bitch fartman’. Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Help keep my meatbag slave alive.

[gomjabbar]

[mechagodzilla]

[supergameboytwo]

We live in an age where you can press a button and a deep web hitman shows up at your door and kills you. Technology is incredible.

[mechagodzilla]

what button

[mechagodzilla]

what fucking button

[bring-the-homo]

I’m v offended I haven’t seen some of those in the rip vine videos so I made my own

[verylittlebird]

a true fact about spiders is they can’t run for extended periods of time because they have asthma. all spiders are nerds. even tarantulas. have you ever seen a spider dating a hot babe? i doubt it. spider flashing his cash in the club? nope. spider pulling up beside you at the lights in a lamborghini? never happened. they’ve got so many eyes because they love reading. nerds. all of them.

[onlytwitterpics]

[iraffiruse]

[whitepeopletwitter]

When one of your customers spanks your ass

[surprisebitch]

i thought it was about working in retail omg

[silenthill]

The Skype call ringtone noise activates my fight or flight response

[southernsideofme-deactivated201]