[feralchaton]

[imnotdaredevilmatt]

the Human Tortch mentioned in that buzzfeed unsolved episode with spontaneous human combustion I‘m crying lmao I did NOT see that coming

[d0llsart]

*whispers* fergalicious

been binge watching ryan and shane buzzfeed unsolved to set the mood for halloween so

[bluew0lf123]

I finally got Pinterest again and started making a Watcher board which includes a section I call “not actually them but aesthetically them” which is mainly like a million text posts that fit PH and Watcher in general so here’s a bunch of text posts made from those and other Pinterest photos

I made myself laugh way too hard while making these I hope you enjoy

[lightgaswaterelectricityrent]

[shaniacs]

I aspire to be Shane ✨

[floatingwithobrien]

do you ever think about how while they're all out here having life and death adventures and quests as per uzhe, bianca is out there being a literal baby

[penandinkprincess]

i would love to go to bed when i plan to, but unfortunately the person in charge of me is me and that bitch LOVES screentime and poor decisions

[floatingwithobrien]

is nobody gonna talk about how goddy apollo is all full of himself and entirely concerned with self preservation and letting other people do the dirty work and becoming a god again as fast as possible, but the second his two children go missing (whom he has known for a day) he has to be stopped from running full tilt into the incredibly dangerous woods after them and proceeds to stay up all night waiting for them to come back? because I was simply not prepared for that reaction from him

[depsidase]

[eclecticpjf]

[bbyspice666]

♡ ゜・。。・゜♡ ゜・♡ ゜・。。・゜♡ ゜・

[pansyfemme]

“never kill yourself” is such a funny phrase to me that i think it’s accidently started working. its like an affrimation. say ‘never kill yourself’ enough times as a joke and maybe you won’t try to kill yourself over minor inconviences anymore

[landmineblogging]

[landmineblogging]

[landmineblogging]

[landmineblogging]

[landmineblogging]

[jesse-is-spiralling]

[april]

📦 Shipping update: we're not delivering your parcel because you checked the tracking page too much and we got shy about it

[previoustags]

This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life

[karma-crystal]

This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏ Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏? For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅‍♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME. Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨‍✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨‍❤️‍👨.

[quietdoppelganger]

The execution is like slam poetry but the content is clearly a shitpost and that’s def the most powerful combination I’ve encountered in a while

[klausie]

[persianmom-deactivated20260602]

i’m gently cupping every woman’s face when I say this: there are things far worse than being single at any age

[alexiaroselikethewine]

I get that sex and drugs are fun but even im like. at least have a 3rd thing. at least one more hobby. you can have a 3rd hobby. this isnt a purity thing this is a some of u are fucking boring thing.

[kittygirltitty]

rock & roll

[alexiaroselikethewine]

girl i just walked into that one like a coyote with a painted tunnel