soft hearted spirit

Thinking my journey's come to an end Sending out a farewell to my friends, forever peace Ask you to forgive me for my sins, oh would you please? I'm more than grateful for the time we spent, my spirit's at ease . ji yubin . 23 .

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@yubie_94 posted on instagram: hi 💙🌟✨🥰

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kitae & jaehyun’s wedding heesun son’s dress

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kitae & jaehyun’s wedding son yubin

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sonzander‌:

“they called.” he smiled, moving to rest on his knees so he could lean closer, hands resting on yubin’s knees. his smile was just as wide, and looking at yubin was everything he needed to know this was the right choice. “i told you i’d do it.” he chuckled. “i hope you still want to, because it’s a little late to cancel this order.”

“zander, are you serious?! don’t mess with me now!” he said eagerly, genuinely hoping this wasn’t a lie or a dream. he had been waiting to hear this new for months and now that his husband was finally telling him, he couldn’t believe it. he laughed, shaking his head at how silly zander sounded. “of course i still want a baby.” he leaned closer to zander, forehead touching his. he could almost cry out of happiness, but he held himself together. “you did it. you- i’m so happy.” 

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sonzander‌:

closed for @bnvolnt​

zander didn’t like that he’d happen to answer a very important call away from yubin, but he did like that it gave him the exciting role of breaking the news. he took a few seconds to get over his own initial shock, simply not expecting it today. still smiling, he made his way into the room yubin was in, clearing his throat to get his attention. “like i was saying, after tour,” he paused as he crouched in front of him, lowering his voice when their daughter was playing in the room, not sure if she should hear anything yet. “want to raise another baby with me? and you better say yes, because we’ve got one on the way.”

yubin lifted his head up from the sketchbook that was in his lap, looking at his husband when he walked in and cleared his throat. his raised his eyebrows in curiosity, waiting for him to finally say what he was going to say. that’s when his eyes widened. he dropped the pen he was holding and put his hands over his mouth in shock. “are you-... wait, are you serious??” he asked just as quietly, a big smile appearing on his face. “they called?!” 

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sonzander‌:

zander propper himself up by his elbows when he saw him hit the door, about to ask if he was alright when he answered for him. he tried to not laugh, but his smile had gotten bigger. “you like this?” he asked, turning so he was on his side, facing yubin now. “i told you it was different.” he shrugged, not sure exactly what to do with himself in a situation like this. “do you need some help getting over here?”

“i-i do.” he answered, face turning a little red. he really couldn’t stop looking at him. “i like it, though.” he tried to reassure him with a smile, knowing he must be feeling not so confident. “no, i think i’ll be okay.” he said with a shake of his head as he slowly got up from his chair. he’s been trying to get into bed by walking a lot recently, and it’s been going well for him. so it wasn’t a problem for him to walk to their bed, even though he was a bit shaky. “there we go.” he laughed a little when he finally got there and sat down. “i-... okay, shit, i can’t get over how good you look right now.” 

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sonzander‌:

closed for @bnvolnt

zander had done a lot for yubin’s birthday, like decorating the house and giving him several little gifts, but this little final present was the one he was almost nervous about. zander was confident, but this was new to him. he kept readjusting himself until he heard the door start to open, quickly laying forwards, not wanting to look awkward. his black sheer shirt was clinging to his body, stopping half way down his ass, giving yubin only a peak at the lace that covered it. “happy birthday?” he gave him a look that was somewhere between a smirk and a smile, waiting to see what would happened.

yubin had a feeling he knew what was going on, but not really. zander never told him to wait and come inside when he tells him to. so he didn’t know what to expect. he pushed the door open, and whilst he was coming in, his eyes locked on zander. and out of shock, he accidentally bumped into the door with his chair. “i- i’m okay!” he said quickly, now coming inside and closing the door. “holy shit, you-...” he paused, not knowing what to say. he’s never seen zander like this at all. he never even thought he would. “you look a-amazing.” 

[sonzander]

@sonzander posted on instagram: when i call you the sun, i mean it with no irony. you bring light to not just my life, but to everyone who crosses your path. when we met, i was far from a man who deserved you. you taught a cynical, and scared, boy how to let light in through the cracks, and you taught him how to love. you have given me a better life, a family, and the best memories. have the best birthday, yubs. i love you. ☀️🌙

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@yubie94 commented: i wish i had enough words to tell you how much i love you and how thankful i am to have you in my life 🥺 i love you so much, thank you for everything and for being a big part of my family 💕

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sonzander‌:

“shit.” he spoke the word quietly, breath heavy as he pushed it out. there it was, that familiar disappointment in himself. “i’m trying. i-… i have been trying to get better at that. but there was already enough going on, i thought this would blow over, and i didn’t want to worry you.” he finally looked up again, and from his seat he straightened his arm out, hand barely off his lap, but enough that it was held up like he was waiting for something. “come here. please?”

“zander...” he sighed. “you worry me by letting me figure things out on my own. i didn’t want to bring up how quiet you’ve been, i didn’t want to upset you.” he admitted. yubin, after a little pause and with a frown on that he couldn’t wipe away, moved his chair further into the room until he was in front of his husband. he stopped his chair and took zander’s hands in his own. 

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sonzander‌:

closed for @bnvolnt

there was a lot of things zander loved about yubin, a ton of things really, but one that he loved the most was how much they laughed when they were together. they’d rearranged the living room a little, finding that now it was easy to reach up and use the light from the lamp to make shadows across the room, and they were childishly entertained by it. “wow, taeil just told me mina asked him ‘why does yubin encourage this?’ about our amazing shadow art.” zander shook his head with a tutting sound, putting his phone down again. “do people not realise you’re just as bad as i am yet?”

zander easily knew how to make yubin laugh. he was trying to be quiet now that their daughter has gone to sleep, but it was kind of hard. he was laying on the couch, simply watching his husband as he fooled around. “i guess everyone forgets that i’m not always the responsible and serious one.” he joked. “im funny. what are they trying to say?!” 

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sonzander‌:

“no, i wasn’t.” zander defended himself, shaking his head, not that it made any of this much better. he knew his husband wasn’t really angry at him, and zander kept himself as calm as he could, it didn’t have to become a fight. not now, not on top of everything else. “yubin, please.” he looked away from him, biting on his lower lip and taking in a deep breath. “i’m… i didn’t touch it, okay? so can we just drop it for now?”

yubin tried to stay calm. he didn’t want to piss him off and have this end with a fight. he stayed quiet, not knowing what to say or do until zander asked to just drop it. that question somehow made him get what he’s been wanting to say out. “i believe you, don’t worry.” he responded quietly. “but... i don’t know, i’m just worried. you’ve been so off and so quiet lately, and you keep pretending like you’re fine, but zander, i can tell that something’s wrong...” his voice got quieter as he got to the end of what he was saying, sighing right after. “you never talk to me...”

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sonzander‌:

zander glanced back at the bottle, shoulder’s slumping as he gave up so instantly. there was no point in lying, he wasn’t foolish enough to try otherwise. and truthfully, he didn’t want to. lying to yubin was the worst feeling. he took a long pause, the silence between them painful. “i… i’m sorry.” he looked up at his husband finally, looking shy for a change. “i didn’t open it. but i almost did. i’m sorry.” 

“what’s going on? were you drinking before now?” he asked. yubin’s thoughts were all running at the same time, somehow his head felt full and empty all at once. he didn’t know what to do. “what’s-... zander, really, i’m so worried about you lately, and then i walk in onto this?!”

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sonzander‌:

it was like zander had gotten into a trance, staring at the bottle on his desk as he tapped his fingers against the wood. it felt like his skin was hot, like it was burning. there were days, still, where he’d have moments of craving, but it usually passed and he could carry on. but with all the stress and anxiety around him lately, it was getting worse, the pit growing in his stomach.

when he heard the door open he scrambled to move the bottle, hearing he glass clink against wood and he tried to leave it behind him, not even sure where he could hide it. “i-… it’s, i’m just finishing this track.” he spoke before turning the chair around, and when he actually saw yubin he felt the weight on his shoulder pushing down harder. he’d seen him, he knew that much. 

yubin has been proud to see that zander hasn’t relapsed in about two years by now. not a drop of alcohol and he was doing so well for so long. so when he saw him trying to hide that bottle behind himself, he couldn’t help but feel upset, confused and worried all at once. “z-zander, what is that?” he asked shakingly, not going further into the room at all, but staying at the door as he stared at his husband. “don’t lie to me, please...” he took a deep breath. “have you been drinking?”

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closed for; @sonzander​

yubin didn’t want to bother zander when he said he was going to stay in their little home studio, wanting to leave him to work on whatever he was working on at the moment. so now that heesun was in bed and he had nothing to do, all he did was go back to continue watching a show he was keeping up with. after a while, he realized how late it had gotten, and noticed that zander hadn’t left the room, at least from what he’d noticed. he got back in his chair and wheeled his way to the room and knocked on the door. “zander? it’s getting late... you should- what are you doing? he cut himself off when he saw zander trying to hide something. 

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kngjinwoo‌:

jinwoo was as quick as he could whilst making her a bottle, also grabbing some snacks for yubin and heesun whilst he was on his way back. “for your troubles.” he giggled as he put them down on the little table in front of the pair. he tested the milk against his wrist to make sure it had cooled down enough, before gently taking her from yubin. she started to fuss again, but jinwoo just smiled as he sat back down. “she’s a hangry baby.” he laughed, his point proven by how quickly she calmed down when he held the milk bottle for her. 

“no trouble at all, don’t worry about it.” yubin he shook his head, looking so happy to be holding the little baby. “but thank you.” he giggled too when his saw heesun going straight for the snacks. except that she was too shy about it and hid behind her dad once again. it was surprising to him that she was still like this around jinwoo. “i think i still have to get used to seeing you being a parent.” he said, leaning back in his seat as he opened the candy for heesun. “you’re a baby, and you’re taking care of a baby.” 

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kngjinwoo‌:

“of course that will happen. just like me and your appa.” jinwoo smiled at sunny, though not looking for too long, trying his best not to push her when she was shy. after all, he knew what that was like. “i love it, yubie. all of it. even the spit up.” he laughed, slowly getting to his feet as she started to whine again, almost like he’d predicted it. “i have to go make some milk, do you mind holding her for a minute? she likes to be rocked a little, or humming helps if she’s fussing abou something.” 

yubin really couldn’t stop smiling, feeling so endeared watching jinwoo take care of his baby and look so happy doing it. “she threw up on you already?” he laughed. yubin’s eyes widened, not expecting him to ask him to hold her. he honestly hasn’t held a baby that small since seongjin was born and the one other time he held solji, so he felt a little rusty. but yubin took her anyway, being so careful as he did so. “no, it’s okay. i don’t mind.” he smiled as he rocked the very tiny baby, his daughter next to him now, looking at solji very curiously. “she’s so tiny, isn’t she?” he asked heesun, who nodded yet again. 

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ywoosung‌:

“so…” woosung was scrolling through his emails, the announced cast list for the school’s play having been sent through to the student who had auditioned and made it. but he didn’t have to scroll far on the list to see his own name, smiling now as he turned to the person beside him. “you’re looking at sinclair’s troy bolton.” 

yubin smiled widely, clapping a little, and looking cute whilst doing it. “that’s so cool! i didn’t know they were doing a high school musical play.”