BOATCOASTER

The mystery. The thrills. The loop. Hear our promotional podcast on iTunes.

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Apologies, some miscreants got a hold of our social media accounts and released a definitely not real episode of BOATCOASTER. You can hear our response now in a definitely real new episode of BOATCOASTER.

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NEITHER TOM SELLECK NOR BOATCOASTER ATTENDANTS CARE ABOUT YOU AND HERE IS PROOF. (AT LEAST ABOUT BOATCOASTER ATTENDANTS, TOM SELLECK MAY CARE ABOUT YOU BUT WE CAN'T SAY FOR SURE) https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/boatcoaster/id999262479?mt=2

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we’ve taken over, enthusiasts.

(way to make your password “boatcoaster”, social media team)

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Petroleum. Weapons. Leisure. Who will be the deep pocketed corporate sponsor of BOATCOASTER? It’s either these guys, or Doritos. Listen to episode 4 now, although we recommend listening to the other ones first, and then listening to episode 4, because that’s the natural order of things, enthusiasts.

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Great news! Our machinist Gary made another discovery in the lower caverns. Or did he? We'll take his word. We'll also reveal which BOATCOASTER ride attendant is single, and the reasons why you should or shouldn't date a theme park employee. Plus, we reveal the finalists for the lucrative corporate sponsorship of BOATCOASTER! One will seem like an obvious no-go. But our nonchalant attitude toward business ethics will be clear as day. A great day! At Ridescountry Universe. Of America!

It’s all happening, enthusiasts. Listen to episode 3 of BOATCOASTER on iTunes.

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So much has happened since we last spoke, enthusiasts. The 3rd episode, entitled "Infinitely Stretching Vastness," will be available Friday on iTunes.

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What’s the best time of year to visit Ridecountry Universe? Best listen to episode 2 of BOATCOASTER, whipper snappers.

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Helpful, sensible precautions for BOATCOASTER riders. Episode 2 of the promotional podcast is here. Listen, learn and give light.

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Planning your visit to Ridecountry Universe. Lessening your risk of injury and/or death during your visit. The best time to visit our theme park. More on the BOATCOASTER boarding requirements, its all-healing water, and our indescribably shaped mascot.

Sit back, relax and brace yourself. It's new BOATCOASTER day. Subscribe & listen now on iTunes.

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You remember what happened last time we had a restaurant at the park, right?

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No

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An upsetting, cautionary tale you'll know soon, enthusiasts.

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Our hearts are soaring on wings of our area's native vultures, as episode 2 of BOATCOASTER debuts tomorrow! Episode 1 is above. Listen, or embrace your unavoidable fate.

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It might create some sort of liability issue. From our next episode, “Kids Ride Free,” debuting this Friday. Listen to more BOATCOASTER here.

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The second episode of BOATCOASTER is called “Kids Ride Free” and it premieres Friday on iTunes! Catch up on the first episode now – unless you’re a robot, in which case, don’t, because you can’t be trusted.

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You remember what happened last time we had a restaurant at the park, right?

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The enthusiasts at Tumblr, rightly recognizing it as the greatest attraction in the history of themed entertainment, have featured BOATCOASTER as a trending blog! (Tumblr, please call us to arrange front of line access, if your phones are still working.)

If you’re new here and haven’t listened to the first episode of BOATCOASTER on iTunes, then honey, it’s for your own good. https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/boatcoaster/id999262479

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The building of a classic. Clarification on both of our park’s names. Some helpful tips for the enthusiasts. And thinly veiled allusions to our poor accounting practices.

Pull your lap bar down snugly and hold on tight – the first episode of BOATCOASTER is here! Subscribe on iTunes and listen now.

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Ridecountry Universe is all aflutter with modest excitement, as the first episode of the BOATCOASTER podcast debuts on iTunes tomorrow!

Wait, you haven’t heard the preview? Oh, for Kathy’s sake. Here you go.