I don’t know if I ever truly had a voice, or if I even used it.
The only times I remember speaking up were when I knew for certain my statement would be perceived as correct or factual. Opinions are pertinent for discussions, but open to criticism. People are harsh nowadays, and that is something that will never change. If you phrase something that rubs even one person the wrong way, you’re at risk of making yourself vulnerable to their opinions, and their opinions of you.
It’s funny how some things never change, and how the cycle of life appears to reveal itself to you throughout your life. Flashbacks, memories, both good and bad, will return in some shape later. That’s why it’s important to remember, and never forget, because these are lessons that we learn throughout life. If they appear again from your memory, as a flashback, it probably means there is something unresolved there. You may think you have moved on, but then why does your mind remind you of it again?
Life is busy now, no matter what. It will always feel as though there is never time for quiet reflection or internal thinking. Perhaps that is why these flashbacks occur, because they are from times when you did not allow yourself enough time to fully think through the event, and what is happening.
I have grown a lot in the past year. I’m even starting to feel like an adult. I asked my 79-year old grandmother-in-law the other day, “When did you start feeling like an adult?” and she replied to me, “I never did.”
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