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xx
While taking in the scene of the beautiful sun slowly but surely making its way up the horizon, you moved closer to the man beside you and placed the side of your head on his broad and toned shoulder. You closed your eyes as the brilliant golden ball in front of you extended its rays in every direction possible as far as it could, in an attempt to reach for the sparkling dust in the darker part of the skies. Little by little, you could feel warmth crawl from your toes to every last inch of your skin.
“Thank you for bringing me here, Baekhyun.”
You felt his shoulder rise against your jaw only for it to drop back down immediately. You pulled your head away a bit to get a better view of the expression that sat on his pretty face. Baekhyun’s gaze was on something far away, but with the way his pupils shook, you were sure that he was holding himself back from moving his eyes to stare back at yours.
Oh, the things you’d do to have him look at nothing but you and only you.
“I should be thanking you. Thank you for coming with me [y/n].” He muttered, still looking away.
You were already confused enough, but when Baekhyun finally moved to stare back at you, every single thing inside you jumbled up into a mess.
“Baek, what’s wrong?”
He smiled at you, “And I’m supposed to be asking you that.”
If it were possible for your eyebrows to knit more, they probably would have, but you were already at your limit. You couldn’t be more confused.
“I know you’re not okay. I wanted to ask you if something’s wrong, but I already figured you wouldn’t tell me anyway,” Baekhyun said.
A chuckle left your lips before your elbow playfully bumped his arm to conceal the pain that was starting to grow inside your chest. You wanted to say something. You wanted to tell him that you were okay and that nothing was wrong. But you knew within yourself that he was right. You were not okay. Everything in your life was wrong, and your whole existence felt like a terrible mistake. And he was right— he always is, that you wouldn’t admit any of that out loud anyway.
You pushed yourself from where you were seated and stretched your arms over your head, sideways, and to your back. Baekhyun watched your small form move around. He took the time to adore every part of you. Your face was decorated by your chocolate-colored eyes that turned hazel whenever the sunlight hit them, your small button nose that he was sure was red and swollen, and the pretty border of your smile that was your lips. Your arms swayed gracefully against the sea breeze, imitating how the water moved in waves towards the shore. And your little feet left subtle prints and evidence of life walking on the sand.
“Let’s go home,” you said with a yawn, the spirit of sleep entering your system despite moving around to get rid of it.
“Until when are we playing this game, [y/n]?” He said almost too softly for you to hear.
“What?” You asked him to repeat what he said. But it wasn’t because you didn’t hear him. In fact, you heard him clearly, although you wish you didn’t. You wanted to act as if you didn’t know where the situation was headed to. You wanted to act as if you didn’t know how it was about to end up being you wriggling yourself back to your painful reality of desolation. After all, it’s always been exactly like that— but still awful every single time.
“Until when are you gonna hide and act like you’re completely and perfectly fine when it’s obvious that you aren’t?” Baekhyun’s eyes were glistening, and you didn’t miss the way he crumpled the sleeves of his hoodie in his fists. It was as if he were holding onto them for his dear life, afraid that if he would let go, he’d fall into an endless pit of darkness.
You purse your lips so your tongue could fish out an answer from your brain. But even your mind ran out of words to say. Ironic, isn’t it? You’ve been in the same situation more times than you should have, yet you still didn’t know what to do nor what to say.
Baekhyun saw your troubled expression. If it were any other day, he would have just wrapped his arms around you, smoothed out the lines that formed on your forehead with his slender fingers, and kissed the top of your head. But today, he wanted you to find an answer, not for him, but for yourself. It was time for you to quit playing games. Because all along, it was only you who was getting fooled.
“You already know I can't stand using people,” you said with a shaky voice.
“When did I ever say that you have to use people, [y/n]? Why don't you just lean on others? On me?” Baekhyun’s voice raised a few notes higher. He was getting frustrated, not mad, though. It was frustrating to know that you were unconsciously hurting yourself to spare others from pain.
You breathed through your nose and smiled a little, “It’s the same thing, Baek. Leaning onto you and using you.”
Baekhyun moved a step closer to you, closing the little distance left between the both of you. He was so close that his breath fanned your cheeks. He looked straight into you with what seemed like a mixture of anger, sadness, and something you haven’t seen nor felt before. Probably something like love.
“What if I want you to use me, then? Can’t you just lean on me?”
You shook your head and lowered your gaze to the ground. “That’s why I’m leaving.”
You slowly rubbed the sleep off your eyes with your knuckles as the muffled chime from below the pillow danced gracefully towards your ears. With a sigh, you reached for your phone right under the bundle of cotton and quickly pressed the power button to dismiss the alarm. How is it morning again when you’ve only been sleeping for what felt like an hour?
You slowly rubbed the sleep off your eyes with your knuckles as the muffled chime from below the pillow danced gracefully towards your ears. With a sigh, you reached for your phone right under the bundle of cotton and quickly pressed the power button to dismiss the alarm. How is it morning again when you’ve only been sleeping for what felt like an hour?
Hi!!!! I’m back 🤩 I posted a new baekhyun one-shot fluff 🤍 Lots of you requested a soft white hair baekhyun fluff, so I hope you guys will like it 🥺 please tell me your thoughts about it! I really really loved writing that one hdjdhdhh.
You slowly rubbed the sleep off your eyes with your knuckles as the muffled chime from below the pillow danced gracefully towards your ears. With a sigh, you reached for your phone right under the bundle of cotton and quickly pressed the power button to dismiss the alarm. How is it morning again when you’ve only been sleeping for what felt like an hour?
It was already several weeks into winter and the mornings got unbearably cold. Waking up and starting your day was tenfold more difficult now than it already is. Especially when the man occupying the other half of your bed, wrapped in a thick duvet, looked so peaceful in his sleep that all you ought to do is cuddle him until it was time for bed again. You know how much he hates being cold, and seeing his body ever so lightly shiver under the pillows made you want to move the sun just a little tiny bit closer to your roof. But that’s quite impossible, so you decided to peel your share of the duvet from your body and placed it on him. The action made you hiss when the cold air slid along the smoothness of your skin, but it was enough to get you as awake as needed. You smiled at the sleeping figure in front of you before you quietly moved around to start your day.
Your bunny slippers were already hugging your feet, ready to go and about the house to do your morning routine. But when you saw your husband shifting in his sleep, almost digging the mattress to the ground in hopes of making himself warmer, you contemplated whether it was a good idea to lay down beside him just for a few minutes or not. You knew that it wasn’t, though. You knew that it wasn’t going to be ‘only a few minutes,’ because the last time you said so, you ended up 15 minutes late for work. However, something about your bed— and that’s your shivering husband, of course— was so enticing that you crawled back like a baby and snuggled close to him. In your defense, he looked like he needed another layer to keep him warm, and you really just needed to protect him from getting cold. But who’d believe you if you said that anyway?
Perhaps, this was one of the very few reasons why you look forward to winter. Though you couldn’t really say you loved the cold season (you curse it almost every time you were anywhere that wasn’t your house), you loved that you could do this, babying the love of your life. It’s not that you hate being the little spoon. Hell, you loved feeling small inside his arms. It’s just that Baekhyun isn’t one to be tended to. He likes taking care of people more than being taken care of, so it’s rare for you to be the big spoon, and the only time you’d be one is when the temperature starts to drop. Baekhyun turns into a complete baby when it’s cold.
You felt him shift from under the layers of sheets, seemingly struggling to get them off of him. You giggled as his expression changed from peaceful to frustrated. You pressed a kiss to his lined forehead, and he mumbled back something you couldn’t understand.
“Morning, love.”
Baekhyun hummed in acknowledgment, to which you chuckled again. You continued to stare at his sleeping figure, fingers playing with his fluffy and disheveled white hair.
He started mumbling again, “Baby, it’s so cold.” You hummed this time and kissed his forehead before turning to grab the remote on the bedside table to adjust the room temperature.
A few moments later, you could hear the faint sound of the very familiar footsteps from the hallway. Afraid that the man’s peaceful and most treasured sleep would be disrupted, you immediately got up from the bed to meet the owner of the footsteps outside the room. You slowly opened the door, peeking out and getting ready for the ‘surprise attacks' — as they call it— that were supposed to earn you the prettiest eye smiles and loveliest giggles life could ever offer. However, the empty hallway greeted you with silence instead.
Confused as to why the twins didn’t show up in front of your door to bless you with kisses and a few high-pitched screams like usual, you took big strides towards the room at the end of the hallway, only to find it empty. Anxiety started to grow in your system, but you tried to calm yourself and called out for their names. “Yuno, Yena. Where are you?”
When they still didn’t answer by the third time, your heart felt like it dropped to your knees. Where are the kids?
However, when you saw two small heads looking out to the window by the fireplace, your heart rose back to your chest. You could see their fluffy cheeks bulging out of their faces, red as their dumbo ears. Careful not to disturb them from what seemed like their early morning self-recollection, you walked to where they were seated and saw for yourself what was so fascinating beyond that window. Seeing the white flakes falling from the sky, you smiled to yourself when you realized what it was. It’s the first snow. No wonder they skipped the ‘surprise attacks’ today.
You waited for the kids to recognize your presence. But then again, when children see something they like, they’ll never take their eyes off it. So you resorted to poking them both at their sides, making them jump out from where they were kneeling on the couch.
“Mommy! Look!” your daughter beamed.
“Wow! What’s that, baby?” you asked. Your question was left unanswered, probably also unheard, as the twins chanted a little ‘wah’ when they saw the neighbors across the street forming and throwing snowballs. They seemed so amazed at the ‘white thing,’ and you were so amused at how they moved in sync with each other that none of you even noticed Baekhyun walking by the living room to the kitchen.
Baekhyun was confused to see all three of you sitting by the window at first. But when he saw the snow covering the backyard through the window by the sink, he immediately caught on and chuckled to himself. It was only when he closed the refrigerator door that you noticed him, and he was already staring at you with a glass of water in his hands.
“You’re awake,” you said as you got up from the couch spreading your arms to welcome your husband into a hug.
Baekhyun happily nestled in your embrace and dragged you to the long couch with him to lie down. You grabbed the fleece blanket on the coffee table and wrapped it around yourselves as you settled yourselves in a way that you could both still see your children. “I was lonely when I woke up,” he jokingly said.
“I didn’t wake you up because you looked like you needed some more sleep. What time did you get to bed last night?” you asked.
“A few minutes after you did, but I had trouble sleeping,” Baekhyun said while he pulled you closer to him. You looked up at him and smiled, “Then you should sleep some more. Why are you already awake?”
“Because I-” he stopped mid-sentence as both of you panicked when Yena suddenly stood up and looked like she was about to fall. Luckily, she was holding on to Yuno, and he was quick to pull her so she wouldn’t fall. You and Baekhyun laughed when you realized you were both holding out your hands as if attempting to save the child.
“Exactly this,” Baekhyun laughed. “I heard you calling out for them earlier. I was going to stand up by the fourth time you’d yell their names, but you didn’t, so I figured you already found them. But then you didn’t come back to the room, and I was worried something happened, so I got up to see for myself.”
You were about to say your apologies to your husband for waking him up, but the twins were looking back at the both of you mischievously. The look in their glistening eyes was telling you that they wanted something. Perhaps, something like going out to play?
“You want to play in the snow, don’t you?” you asked, to which the kids nodded their heads enthusiastically, and their mouths stretched up into cheeky smiles. You chuckled at how far up the edges of their lips rose to their eyes.
Before you could even say anything, they were already running towards you and hopping on the couch, their small feet stomping on your legs. Your daughter plopped down and laid her head against your chest, while your son sat on Baekhyun’s stomach. “Please,” they said in unison, making you giggle once again.
“Do you not want to cuddle with Mommy and Daddy here?” Baekhyun playfully asked to tease them.
The twins sighed in what sounded like defeat. You thought that they must’ve known by now that if their Dad starts speaking this way, it’s going to be a no for them. However, they started tickling you at your sides, not before they nodded their heads at each other as if agreeing to do something.
“Mommy, Daddy, please!”
The sound of your giggles filled the air, and you didn’t miss the way your children’s eyes imitated their father’s sparkling ones.
“Dada’s hair looks like snow!” Yuno said as he grabbed a handful of his father’s hair, which in your opinion, probably hurt. But as the loving father Baekhyun is, he dismissed the feeling and just let his son do whatever he willed.
“Is Daddy’s hair pretty like snow?” you asked your son, reaching for his hand that was playing with your husband’s hair to get them off. His cheeks bounced as he nodded, hands slowly moving to his father’s shoulders for leverage. But your daughter decided to grab more of the poor Daddy’s hair, and so her brother followed again.
“Careful, my little ones. Daddy might be bald by Christmas if you keep pulling my hair out,” Baekhyun giggled with them.
When the two little beans that grew arms and legs finally decided that they needed to recharge for energy, they both slumped their foreheads on your chests. You caressed Yena’s hair alternatively with Yuno, the action lulling them both to sleep.
“Thank heavens, they ran out of energy,” you whispered to Baekhyun’s ear, expecting to hear a witty response from him. However, it seemed that your husband's energy was drained as well. You chuckled lightly at the sight of your little family sleeping like hibernating bears, and even more when you noticed how all three of them look exactly the same when they sleep— lips pouty and ears perky. They even shiver too identically! And they say they want to play in the snow? When they’re nothing far from their father (who hated the cold so much the last time you checked)?
You couldn’t help but smile, genuine love and happiness washing over your body. Honestly, you’d give up anything just to relish this moment forever; you, your husband, and the product of your love that came as a combo of two little bundles of joy huddled together like you were in a capsule, being each other’s make-do heaters.
Winter would definitely get an earful from you sooner or later that day for being ‘so goddamn cold.’ But at that moment, all you wanted to do was be grateful for the different kind of warmth it brings.
I’m suffering writer’s block again and I literally can’t come up with anything at all. I can’t even write anything more than a line. I hate it so much, and my head hurts so bad from me trying to rack my brains out (+++ I can’t sleep because I keep on worrying about writing). So I’ll be apologizing in advance for those people waiting for my new series for not updating yet, and for those waiting for me to post other content.
I’m gonna take it easy from now on and wont force myself to come up with anything bc i dont want to end up thinking of writing as an obligation and hate it. But I know I’ll be back on track soon, I just need to get my mind off of it for a bit.
FINALLY!!!! 😭 THE LONG WAIT IS ABOUT TO END. the logo is so nice and meaningful too! 🥺
in case you guys don’t know yet, the character 开 reads as “kai” and means “open”. And since the character kinda resembles the letter A of the english alphabet, they replaced the letter A in Kai with 开, so it still looks like “KAI”
Chen mentioned in a show once how jongin’s stage name Kai means “open” in Chinese, hence, he was always the “opening” of their music video teasers. Now that they incorporated this in his solo album, it makes it more meaningful as it shows that a new and different side of our Kai is going to “open” 🥺
I’m writing for the other members but my bias just pops up in my head anytime he wants to!! I can’t finish anything because I’d end up writing for my bias most of the time HELP
but I’m currently working on a chanyeol social media au 😌
Hey dear... Tag Tumblr in your post or inform them by sending a message or mail about the tags..
Thank you for this! I just sent the concern to Tumblr :( I’m really upset that my post disappeared from the tags when it already worked earlier todayyyy.
Warnings : language, and mentions of stalking, divorce and non consensual taking of pictures (not between pair)
Word count : 3k
Note : Italicized words are character/reader’s thoughts; indented (blockquote) and italicized paragraphs are flashbacks.
xx
“Are you busy right now?” a husky voice found its way to your ear from the other side of the line.
“No. Thank god,” you mumbled before letting a deep sigh leave your lips.
After ages, you finally heard your favorite sound on earth again.
It was the sound that went a little too high while singing along to Queen and Michael Jackson songs that played on the radio in your room while you did homework at 3 pm. The one that rang loud throughout the whole house while you danced to random and silly steps on the stage that is your bed at 3 am.
It was the same sound that went two octaves lower when you teased him too much about the little crush he seemed to harbor for the girl who sat beside him in 11th grade or when you asked him for one of his friend’s number. One that carried sweet nothings with it to your blushing ears the first time you got drunk on your birthday.
It was the very same sound that was once your refuge and salvation. The very same that calmed the erratic beating of your heart when you were nervous. One that chased your tears to crawl back up and hide in the corners of your round eyes when life enveloped you into darkness.
The voice you’ve been longing for more frequently these days.
Your best friend’s voice.
He chuckled, his low register ringing through your eardrums. “Are you at home?”
“No, but I’m walking home,” you say almost too softly, trying not to sound too excited.
There was a long period of silence. If you didn’t know Baekhyun enough, you would have already ended the call at the lack of response. However, you knew him way too well to see (hear) that he was still thinking about what he would say. So you just continued walking on your path slowly, occasionally looking over your shoulders in case you were blocking somebody’s way.
“You’re walking on that street again, aren’t you?” He hummed before asking in a very knowing tone. It took you a moment to process his question, so when you were about to defend yourself, Baekhyun had already started his nagging, “I told you not to take that street when I’m not with you!”
You smiled a bit at the realization that although you didn’t even answer yet, he already knew the truth. And your smile grew more prominent at the thought that he still knows you better than anyone.
The only person you wanted to remember you still knows you like you were the back of his hand. And you‘re not anywhere near remarkable for anyone— or even just for him at least, to remember you. Isn’t that an achievement for you?
Snorting out a laugh, you said, “Sorry, Baek. It’s the fastest way home.”
No. Actually, it’s the street that reminds me of you most.
It was the quietest street in your town, 56th street, both your favorite route to take. It was the street that held a huge part of your memories together with him and had all the little moments that piled up into ones you’ll treasure forever. The road that witnessed both of you grow from the innocent little boy and girl you once were to the lovely man and woman you both are today.
It’s the street that reminded you of when you first heard him laugh,
“Since we’re neighbors, and I’m new here, can’t you show me around the town?” the little boy said as he lifted his hands to his neck to scratch at the skin right below his jaw, making you stare at them in awe.
You snapped yourself out of your short trance and said blankly, “The only places I know are my house and the school.”
As cliché as it may sound, everything around you moved in slow motion as the side of the boy’s lips rose to his tinted cheeks. His eyes turned upside down, and his eyebrows raised. He laughed lightly before asking, “Then, should we see where this street ends?”
Of when you first saw him pout,
“Baekhyun, no. We have to go home,” you said as you continued on your track without looking back at him. He went silent, and a smirk crept up your face.
However, it grew too suspiciously silent. So you stopped walking and turned your head back, only to find a sulking Baekhyun. His hands were in his pockets, eyebrows knit together, cheeks puffed out, and his lower lip pouty. He slowly looked back up at you with his puppy eyes that always won you over.
“Oh my god, don’t give me that look. You’re making my head hurt.”
He moved closer to you and grabbed one of your hands, “I’ll stay over at yours for dinner so your mom won’t scold you for too long. Just please come with me to the supermarket. I’m really craving ice cream,” he said with his eyes quivering from left to right.
He’s onto something. “What do you have up in your sleeve, Mr. Byun? Tell me, or I’m not going with you,” you said as you narrowed your eyes at him.
He looked away from you and landed his gaze towards the ground again, “Y-you, I heard y-you crying in your room last night. I just want to buy you ice cream to cheer you up because I won’t be able to sleep knowing I hadn’t done anything for you before this day ended.”
When you first heard him curse and get mad,
“Excuse me, Dude. But what are those photos for?” you heard a familiar voice from behind you. Recognizing it as Baekhyun, you quickly looked over your shoulder to greet your friend.
“A-ah i-it’s just for documentation purposes for our group study,” stuttered the other guy whose back was turned to you.
You called out Baekhyun’s name, confused about the current situation laid in front of you. Your friend only raised his head to you and motioned for you to come to him, “do you know this guy?”
You approach the two men, curious as to who the other person is. When you caught a glimpse of the unfamiliar face, you slowly shook your head no. “I don’t think so. Do I have to?”
Baekhyun clicked his tongue and clenched his jaw. He sneered a little and turned his head to the side, making you more confused.
“The next time you make a fucking excuse, make sure it’s not as stupid as you look. Stop being a fucking pervert, you fucking stalking asshole.”
And of when you first heard him cry.
“Oh my god, Baekhyun, what happened?” you said as you brought the taller man’s head to your shoulder. You tried to rub his back and smooth out the creases of his school uniform, but he just started wailing more.
He was leaning into you, and you couldn’t take his weight anymore, so you guided him to sit down on the sidewalk. You tried to pull away from him, but he planted his face deeper into your neck, so you just hugged him tighter and drew unnamed patterns on his arms.
When his sobbing finally toned down, you tugged at his chin and made him look up at you. The redness of his nose, along with the tears in and around his eyes, made your heart hurt. Who on earth would try to make this man cry?
“You’re not telling me what happened?” you whispered as you wiped the tears that continued to drop down his cheeks.
“My mom wants to divorce my dad.”
You heard a small huff from his end, making you chuckle loud enough for him to hear.
You tilted your head to your side and pictured how he would have looked if he were actually walking with you today. Would he have had his hair down or gelled back? Would he have worn the oversized hoodies you told him were your favorite on him? Would he have walked in all his glory on the sidewalk in his new Js? Would he have looked at you with loving eyes, like he did back then?
“Still! Didn’t I tell you that I’d be mad and not call you if you walked there alone? That street is so quiet and far from people. It’s too dangerous!” he whined again.
A bitter taste started to spread in your mouth. You took a deep breath of the crisp air, “Yeah. I know it’s dangerous.”
Dangerously silent and lonely without you.
“Do you remember? That time when I told you to go home without me because I had fun playing football with my classmates?” he paused for you to answer, but he knows that you remember it anyway.
Yeah, when I almost cried, thinking you didn’t want to hang out with me anymore?
He laughed, “I think I hit my head somewhere that time, and I realized that I wanted to walk home with you. So I ran to catch up with you, but then I saw a guy taking pictures of you from the back.” You chuckled a little at how fast his tone changed from happy to angered towards the end.
You added in, “And you cursed him with all your heart, and I had to drag your boiling ass home or else you would have had a swollen hand.”
And when I thought my heart would explode, seeing you all worked up and protective of me.
You stopped walking and recalled how it exactly happened, where you exactly were, and what you exactly felt. While reminiscing, you could almost see the image of your younger self pulling the younger Baekhyun, who couldn’t take his eyes off the stranger who stalked you, pass by in front of your eyes.
“Yup. I decided to walk home with you every day since then. But now that I can’t, I made you promise not to walk 56th street, didn’t I?” Baekhyun said in a sing-song tone.
“Sorry,”
“I’ll let it go this time. But next time I really won’t call you for three months! Or even six months!” He taunted.
Even if I kept my promise and never walked on the same street again, when the time comes, you’d probably stop calling me.
“How are you?”
“I’m okay here. Training is getting hard, though. But I bet you five tubs of ice cream that I’m gonna be on national TV in 3 months!”
I need not bet because I know you’ll make it. It’s your lifelong dream, after all.
“[Y/N]! [Y/N]!” Baekhyun beamed from your porch as he took off his shoes. You watched him with confused eyes from the couch of your father’s living room.
“What?”
He quickly approached you and pulled you up from your seat, “it’s time for us to take a walk. Long since we’ve done it, no?”
You and Baekhyun took your precious time to walk. One whole step before the other, as if scared that the sidewalk would run out if you walk faster.
You didn’t really say anything to each other, but the sound of the spring birds singing and your soles rubbing against the bricks on the sidewalk made you both feel entertained.
With longer legs and bigger feet, Baekhyun was walking slightly ahead of you. Having to catch up with his steps, you walked faster, eager to walk side by side with him. But he noticed that you were trying so hard to keep up with him, so he tried to make his steps smaller. Then, he moved closer to you until your hips touched each other.
It was always like this with Baekhyun. You’d take a walk together on 56th street without saying anything, and you’d still enjoy it. He would always end up walking ahead of you, and you would ever walk behind him. Then, when he notices that he’s walking too fast for you, he would start taking smaller steps so you could keep up with him. And when he thinks he’s walking slow enough to match your pace, he would close the gap between your bodies by putting an arm around your shoulders or waist or just by feeling your sides against his.
“I li-“
“I’m leaving,” Baekhyun started, cutting off what you wanted to say.
“What?” Your voice came out shaky, unsure of what you heard.
Baekhyun stopped walking, “I said I’m leaving. I’m leaving for the city.”
You blinked your eyes twice. Stiff as you were, you tried to open your mouth to say something which you couldn’t seem to remember anymore. Baekhyun giggled at how you looked.
“I’m gonna be an idol, [y/n]. I’m going to be a singer.” he said as his eyes twinkled with joy.
How? Where? When? Why? You wanted to ask him, but you really couldn’t bring yourself to move even a muscle except for your eyes.
“A company scouted me at graduation. They said I had the potential to be a singer. I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure, but now I am.” He said while looking up at the cloudless sky.
You didn’t know how it happened, but you only managed to speak out the words, “I’m happy for you, Baekhyun.”
You didn’t see Baekhyun the week after that walk because he was busy packing, and you were busy denying to yourself that he was leaving. So when you saw him from your window pushing boxes unto the trunk of his parents’ SUV with his hair white as snow, you couldn’t help but jump out from where you were standing.
You accidentally pushed your windowpane in an attempt to save your face from kissing the wooden floor, and it made a noise loud enough for Baekhyun to look up at your room. He waved up at you and motioned for you to meet him outside.
“Are you leaving today?”
“Yeah. Sorry, I wasn’t able to tell you,” Baekhyun said as he scratched the skin under his ear. He always did this when he was in an awkward situation.
You stared at him without speaking. You took in how he looked for the last time. But you realized that it was too much for you. He was too much for you. So you focused on his now white hair that rested against his scalp, seemingly tired from the process of bleaching.
Baekhyun only smiled at you like a child that was offered candies and delight. You moved closer to him, eyes exploring his face and stopping at his lips for a few seconds before losing confidence again.
His name softly left your lips, to which he only hummed in response.
“I,” you paused for a moment, maybe two? or three. You don’t know.
Baekhyun’s eyebrows almost hit his hairline.
“I like your hair.” you said with a smile.
“Don’t I look like a real celebrity now?” he said as he let his fingers run through his locks.
“You do,” he always did.
You let yet another chuckle escape your mouth, although the last thing you wanted to do was laugh. “I’m still your best friend, right?” you questioned, though you were scared he’d say no.
However, you heard a different voice from his end of the call shout, “Baekhyun! 10-minute break is over!” and your friend responded with something you couldn’t catch. All that you knew was that he was laughing with someone, their voices slowly fading as if they were walking away from the phone.
He’s happier now. Even happier than when he was with me.
You used to associate his laugh with flowers, candies, love, and everything sweet. But now you can’t help but feel bitterness crawl up your spine, like a vine climbing its way up the walls and lampposts.
The cold and long blow of the wind made you feel nostalgic (if you weren’t yet), and you wanted as much to let it take you to wherever your heart is, where Baekhyun is.
“I have to go [y/n]! I’ll call you again soon!” he quickly said before a long beep was heard, announcing the end of the call.
Months passed, and you are still waiting for when his name flashes as the caller ID on the screen of your phone. Maybe he’s busy? Or he lost my number? Perhaps he changed his phone?
You wanted to ask his parents for his new number or even just how their son was doing. But you were surprised to find out that they already moved out of the house next to yours, when you returned from your grandparents’ house for a 3-week vacation. You wanted to ask your parents if they had his parents’ number, but then you decided that seeing him on TV and your phone screen was enough for you.
He’s clearly doing well.
He has got to be doing well. How could he not when he has been flashing the cameras the widest and prettiest smiles? The kind of smiles you never witnessed when he was with you.
He’s clearly happier than ever.
Although you kept saying that you were happy for him too, you just can’t deny that you do feel jealous of how far he had come. It was just like the long and silent walks you took with him throughout 56th street before: he was always steps ahead of you, and you were burning in jealousy behind him because of the advances his relatively longer legs brought him. Except that he was miles and dreams ahead of you now, and he couldn’t slow down his pace to match yours and stay by your side anymore.
He’s way too far ahead to turn and run back to me.
He’s probably living a better life.
He probably has funnier (best) friends to laugh with.
He probably has prettier eyes to stare at, softer hands to hold, and more comfortable shoulders to lean on.
He probably has a new favorite street to walk with somebody new. Somebody who’s better, somebody who’s not you.
I know your seeing angst baekhyun with white hair but all I can picture is that airport outfit that was all white with the white hair and i just imagine so much fluff!!!
Like winter cuddles in front of a fire with hot chocolates watching movies 🥺 my heart is aching for fluffy white haired baekhyun 🥺
oh my gosh I just saw this!!! I just finished a whole angst baekhyun fic, and I honestly need a fluff break😭 Now that you’ve mentioned it, I think I can write something like that 😄
Here is baekhyun in all white at the airport to make your day! 💕
