Boganwood Misadventure 1 - Beryl
Welcome to Boganwood Australia, Canberras forgotten suburb Before we get back into the adventure with Sheila, Bricko and Dingo, we are going to take a detour to meet another of Boganwood's interesting charachters In todays adventure we meet Beryl, another charachter that lives in the suburb of Boganwood as she goes through her fortnightly routine........... Beryl woke up early, and looked out the window to check the weather, as today she had a few things to get accomplished and one of them needed a wee bit of organisation. Now Beryl was classed as Elderly and although she frowned on the Bogans of Boganwood waiting on their fortnightly cheques from Centrelink, she would often get up early to check that her pension payment was on time. This morning was no different and she needed to get to the bank to make a quick withdraw, so she started on her way. Now as Beryl takes herself to the bank in her fortnightly routine, we should take a moment to explain a bit about Beryl. She had been in Boganwood for many years, and was treated with a large amount of respect. Yeah there had been a few problems with the odd riff raff, stealing things from her yard but they never ever went around the back thankfully ! She had done a number of things to keep people out including keeping a sign up telling everyone she had a rottweller and putting in fake security cameras. Beryl had to keep people out of her garage as in the garage was her pride and joy ! Beryl made her way to the bank...........In this day and age no one needed to go to the teller anymore, but Beryl was different and she would make her way every fortnight to the local bank and make a withdraw of some pension payments. Today was no different and she walked into the bank to be greeted by the always pleasant and smiling faces of those around her. Beryl took her ticket, waiting to be called...... She had her favourite teller by the name of Greta and she would look forward to her conversations with her every week. For the next 30 minute she would talk about her grown up kids and show photos, talking about her upcoming medical appointments and finally making the withdraw. The bank was used to her and as she was a lovely little old lady, who would ever complain ? Beryl made her withdraw, slipping a $50 note into her purse for a later hand at Bingo and walked out into the town ready to take on her plans that she had put in place for the day..... Beryl made her way up the street to her location and stopped to watch a busker play away with with such intensity that he had his eyes closed ... Beryl loved the song and stopped to have a listen..... Now, It should go without saying that not everyone in Boganwood is nasty or mean or always looking for a quick buck and when it came to Beryl....... Well, Im sure you guessed it by now..... She was once of the fucking worse ! What I hear you say ? The lovely little old lady ? Fuck no she wasnt lovely, she was just better at hiding it then others.... Beryl was on her way to the local pub for a few wines and to gamble away her pension. Now I hear you say, that isnt bad that something she needs help with ? Well let me tell you, your wrong.... Beryl fell over and landed next to where the busker was playing.... As people started to help her up, she decided to help herself to a couple of dollars (and notes) out of the buskers money.... No one expected it and it always gave her a few free drinks down the local pub..... As she was helped up and checked that she was alright, she continue to make her way to the pub.... Thats right people Beryls plan for the day was gambling the money through the poker machines..........Hours later and with only $50 dollars left to gamble she stared at the last poker machine trying to work out if she should take her money and leave... Should she take the 50 and leave ? Fuck no thought Beryl, This machine had to pay sooner or later and so she put it into the machine hoping for a win..... No sooner had she put the money in the machine then it was gone ...... She had gambled away alot of money ! She got up from the machine swearing and cursing under her breathe and watched as a couple of local Bogans jumped onto the machine after her. She pulled up a seat near the machine and watched as the fucking Bogans kept hitting the buttons and thats when it happened..... The feature went off ! The Bogans started cheering and Yahooing over their win .... Over her machine she Beryl thought ! Fucking Bogans ! Fucking Boganwood ! Beryl made her way to the manager.. "Excuse me Sir" Beryl said walking up to the manager "Yes, maam, How can I help you ?" "Well, Im not usually the type of person that likes to start trouble, but a couple of people just jumped onto my machine while I went to the Ladys room's" "Im sorry, Which Machine is it Im sure there was some confusion and we can work it out ?" "That one over there" Beryl pointed over to the machine as Bricko and Dingo were dancing aorund with excitement over their win. The manager obviously knew Dingo and Bricko but the look of disgust he had in his eyes as he stared at them. He knew he needed help.....so he went to his Security guard Diesel to help him.... "Have seat, and we will sort this out for you. Im sorry for the inconvenience" The manager said to Beryl. Beryl was happy, she sat back and watched the fireworks.... Now you all know what happens from here as this was mentioned in an earlier episode but heres a recap.... * Sheila turns up screaming and yelling * Dingo, Bricko and Sheila are removed from the club * Diesel get rolled out the front and Dingo and Bricko steal his security Jacket "There you are, and we are sorry for this inconvenience" The manager said to Beryl as he helped her back to her chair. "Thats alright lovey" Beryl stated " Its the drugs that makes them do it, its all the whacky tobacy" she said to the manager. She sat down with a smile on her face..... on the machine was $150...this was turning out to be a very luck day she thought as she hit collect. With all her winnings, she left the club and smiled at all that she had accomlished today...... She had al ist of new credit card numbers and expiry dates (She had taken them down as she distracted Greta this morning in the bank ),She had all the winnings from the machine and she had actually made a profit through all the purses she had gone through talking to different women about her grandkids and children..... Now lets gets this straight......she had no children, She hated them....all they did was cost you money, she thought and there was no way some little fucker was going to ruin her get rich scheme..... She felt good and on a high as she walked in the front door of her house and made her way to the back shed...... She opened the door and made her way to the safe. She placed the money left over from the club onto of a large pile of cash and turned to stared at her pride and joy..... Beryl walked up to the nearest plant and cut off a bud....tonight she was going to mulch it up and tomorrow she would sell it to her local Bogans of Boganwood..... Beryl was a dope dealer see and through all the schemes she had pulled off in her time, this was the most profitable. By living in Boganwood she had been able to slip under the radar with her scheme and she was doing great ! That was, until she crossed paths and screwed over, Dingo, Bricko and Sheila who were about to change her luck once and for all........ but thats another story that will be told another day....... Beryls true colors have just started to show and things have a way to work themselves out in Boganwood for the Good, the Bad and definately the Bogan....... Come back to Boganwood to find out the answers to the questions * How bad is little old Beryl really? * Will Beryl finally get whats coming to her ? * And what the fuck are Dingo, Bricko and Sheila up to ??? Come back to find the answers to all of these questions and more in the next season of Boganwood, Season 2, to be released very very soon. And remember what they say in Boganwood....... "Never trust your Nanna"