Jungle Fish @boicelove - Tumblr Blog

Je rêve d’un jour devenir célèbre, pour qu’un journaliste étranger m’interview et qu”il me demande “Do you think you’re in a good situation ?”

Alors, telle l’élue de la Nation Française, je pourrais déclamer le monologue sacré.

captain-jale

Martin Fourcade did it ! He did it !

bimbocracy

every single negative stereotype about women was dreamt up by men who were projecting. fight me about it.

bimbocracy

“women can’t drive”

It is so well known that women are better and safer drivers than men that OUR CAR INSURANCE RATES ARE LOWER. Women get into fewer accidents, get fewer DUIs, and receive fewer speeding tickets than men.

“women never shut up”

Several scientific studies have shown that not only do men talk more than women, they also think that women have been talking for much longer than they actually have. Men interrupt and talk over women, dominate conversations, and still think women talk too much.

“women are shallow”

Lol next

“my wife is my ball and chain lmao”

Multiple studies have shown that marriage between men and women: Increases male lifespan, decreases female lifespan Decreases male depression rates, increases female depression rates Decreases male stress levels, increases female stress levels Increases male health and happiness, decreases female health and happiness Increases a man’s chance of getting a raise or promotion, decreases a woman’s chances of getting a raise or promotion

“women are too emotional”

Men love to say this about women after hurting them, in order to shift the blame and dismiss their feelings in one go. In reality, women are taught to hold our tongues and control ourselves quite literally from birth. We’re taught to put men’s needs and wants ahead of our own emotions regardless of the personal cost. Men are taught to do more or less whatever the fuck they want to women. Men take their emotions out on women while women are expected to shove theirs down.

I could go on and on but I don’t really think I need to.

calanoida

Susanna and the Elders, Restored (Left)

Susanna and the Elders, Restored with X-ray (Right)

Kathleen Gilje, 1998

harrystylesnotedaquarius-deacti

wow

humanpersonface

Oooh my gosh this is rad. This is so rad.

For those who don’t know about this painting, the artist was the Baroque artist Artemisia Gentileschi.

Gentileschi was a female painter in a time when it was very largely unheard of for a woman to be an artist. She managed to get the opportunity for training and eventual employment because her father, Orazio, was already a well established master painter who was very adamant that she get artistic training. He apparently saw a high degree of skill in some artwork she did as a hobby in childhood. He was very supportive of her and encouraged her to resist the “traditional attitude and psychological submission to brainwashing and the jealousy of her obvious talents.”

Gentileschi became extremely well known in her time for painting female figures from the Bible and their suffering. For example, the one seen above depicts the story from the Book of Daniel. Susanna is bathing in her garden when two elders began to spy on her in the nude. As she finishes they stop her and tell her that they will tell everyone that they saw her have an affair with a young man (she’s married so this is an offense punishable by death) unless she has sex with them. She refuses, they tell their tale, and she is going to be put to death when the protagonist of the book (Daniel) stops them.

So that painting above? That was her first major painting. She was SEVENTEEN-YEARS-OLD. For context, here is a painting of the same story by Alessandro Allori made just four years earlier in 1606:

Wowwwww. That does not look like a woman being threatened with a choice between death or rape. So imagine 17 year old Artemisia trying to approach painting the scene of a woman being assaulted. And she paints what is seen in the x-ray above. A woman in horrifying, grotesque anguish with what appears to be a knife poised in her clenched hand. Damn that shit is real. Who wants to guess that she was advised by, perhaps her father or others, to tone it down. Women can’t look that grotesque. Sexual assault can’t be depicted as that horrifying. And women definitely can’t be seen as having the potential to fight back. Certainly not in artwork. Women need to be soft. They need to wilt from their captors but still look pretty and be a damsel in distress. So she changed it.

What’s interesting to note is that she eventually painted and stuck with some of her own, less traditional depictions of women. However, that is more interesting with some context.

(Warning for reference to rape, torture, and images of paintings which show violence and blood.)

So, Gentileschi’s story continues in the very next year, 1611, when her father hires Agostino Tassi, an artist, to privately tutor her. It was in this time when Tassi raped her. He then proceeded to promise that he would marry her. He pointed out that if it got out that she had lost her virginity to a man she wasn’t going to marry then it would ruin her. Using this, he emotionally manipulated her into continuing a sexual relationship with him. However, he then proceeded to marry someone else. Horrified at this turn of events she went to her father. Orazio was having none of this shit and took Tassi to court. At that time, rape wasn’t technically an offense to warrant a trial, but the fact that he had taken her virginity (and therefore technically “damaged Orazio’s property”. ugh.) meant that the trial went along. It lasted for 7 months. During this time, to prove the truth of her words, Artemisia was given invasive gynecological examinations and was even questioned while being subjected to torture via thumb screws. It was also discovered during the trial that Tassi was planning to kill his current wife, have an affair with her sister, and steal a number of Orazio’s paintings. Tassi was found guilty and was given a prison sentence of…. ONE. YEAR……. Which he never even served because the verdict was annulled.

During this time and a bit after (1611-1612), Artemisia painted her most famous work of Judith Slaying Holofernes. This bible story involved Holofernes, an Assyrian general, leading troops to invade and destroy Bethulia, the home of Judith. Judith decides to deal with this issue by coming to him, flirting with him to get his guard down, and then plying him with food and lots of wine. When he passed out, Judith and her handmaiden took his sword and cut his head off. Issue averted. The subject was a very popular one for art at the time. Here is a version of the scene painted in 1598-99 by Carivaggio, whom was a great stylistic influence on Artemisia:

This depiction is a pretty good example of how this scene was typically depicted. Artists usually went out of their way to show Judith committing the act (or having committed it) while trying to detach her from the actual violence of it. In this way, they could avoid her losing the morality of her character and also avoid showing a woman committing such aggression. So here we see a young, rather delicate looking Judith in a pure white dress. She is daintily holding down this massive man and looks rather disgusted and upset at having to do this. Now, here is Artemisia’s:

Damn. Thats a whole different scene. Here Holofernes looks less like he’s simply surprised by the goings ons and more like a man choking on his own blood and struggling fruitlessly against his captors. The blood here is less of a bright red than in Carrivaggio’s but is somehow more sickening. It feels more real, and gushes in a much less stylized way than Carrivaggio’s. Not to mention, Judith here is far from removed from the violence. She is putting her physical weight into this act. Her hands (much stronger looking than most depictions of women’s hands in early artwork) are working hard. Her face, as well, is completely different. She doesn’t look upset, necessarily, but more determined.

It’s also worth note that the handmaiden is now involved in the action. It’s worth note because, during her rape trial, Artemisia stated that she had cried for help during the initial rape. Specifically she had called for Tassi’s female tenant in the building, Tuzia. Tuzia not only ignored her cries for help, but she also denied the whole happening. Tuzia had been a friend of Artemisia’s and in fact was one of her only female friends. Artemisia felt extremely betrayed, but rather than turning her against her own gender, this event instilled in her the deep importance of female relationships and solidarity among women. This can be seen in some of her artwork, and I believe in the one above, as well, with the inclusion of the handmaiden in the act.

So, I just added a million words worth of information dump on a post when no one asked me, but there we go. I could talk for ages about Artemisia as a person and her depictions of women (even beyond what I wrote above. Don’t get me started on her depictions of female nudes in comparison to how male artists painted nude women at the time.)

To sum up: Artemisia Gentileschi is rad as hell. This x-ray is also rad as hell and makes her even radder.

I love art history.

birdiestitching

(via The Little Mermaid - Ariel)

reminiscent-smile

France Gall, 1947-2017.

sjflkansdfljaslsd-deactivated20

a comprehensive collection of weird-ass wikipedia articles to read when you're bored

fair warning: while some of these articles are just silly or weird, i do like to freak myself out, so a fair amount of these are creepy and/or morbid! some of the links involve death and occasionally suicide, so consider this your blanket warning for potentially upsetting/tiggering stuff! also when you’re white-knuckled gripping the bedframe at four am because you’re too freaked out to go get a glass of water and you think there’s an axe-murderer in your closet, don’t go a-blamin’ me. you clicked the link.

list of unusual deaths

post-mortem photography

nocebo

list of people who disappeared mysteriously

vrillon

ancient astronauts

list of nuclear/radiation accidents

lord uxbridge’s leg

suspicious incidents at disney parks

demon core

milgram experiment

list of film accidents

collyer brothers

new chronology & phantom time

cosmic latte

list of sexually active popes

spontaneous human combustion

list of methods of torture

cellar door

voynich manuscript

tarrare

list of inventors killed by their own invention

zone of alienation

randy gardner

list of entertainers who died during a performance

dancing mania

vodka eyeballing

tacoma narrows bridge

troy huturbise

list of alleged extraterrestrial beings

lucid dreaming

son of sam law

mary toft

list of banned video games

elizabeth bathory

marvin heemeyer

list of serial killers

quantum suicide

mcdonald’s urban legends

cockle bread

list of reportedly haunted locations

ball lightning

mellified man

armin meiwes

mobius syndrome

moon landing conspiracy theories

the case of taman shud

the euthanasia coaster

capgras delusion

raining animals

voluntary human extinction movement

trepanning

s. a. andrée’s arctic balloon expedition of 1897

list of reported ufo sightings

astral projection

maximum lifespan

oscar the cat

mill ends park

criticality accident

words that mean opposite things

list of video games notable for negative reception

parapsychology

uncombable hair syndrome

gloria ramirez

that that is is that that is not is not is that it it is

spite house

john titor

list of unsolved murders & deaths

sleep paralysis

list of common misconceptions

ames room

list of impostors

korean air lines flight 007: alternate theories

list of political decoys

psuedoscientific planets

list of conspiracy theories

sawney bean

loudness war

body farm

list of messiah claimants

lazarus syndrome

betty & barney hill abduction

scraap

the-absolute-best-posts

This is an important moment in history.

thatswhywelovegermany

Something for which the Germans can not agree on a word

Griebsch

Knust

Grubsch

Apfelgnatsch

Krubber

Krubbs

Apfelkauz

Apfelstummel

Knutsch

Appelpietschen

Apfelpietsche

Appelpatsch

Apfelgnözel

Apfelnüsel

Bolle

Hüske

Hünkel

Hunkepeil

Hunkepiel

Hünkelbein

Apfelhünksel

Apfelkinkel

Kröps

Appelnürsel

Strunk

Krose

Kröse

Apfelkippe

Apfelkitsche

Nüssel

Apfelschnüssel

Apfelpik

Maas

Grotze

Marzel

Masel

Mäsel

Nesel

Nösel

Gritze

Grütz

Grebs

Gäiz

Krotz

Krotze

Körschte

Stronk

Knotz

Grötz

Krömbel

Kröps

Gröbsch

Knost

Kitsche

Apfelknössel

Kitsch

Appelkrotz

Meubbes

Apfelkrips

Apfelgrips

Apfelgrütz

Knirbitz

Appelkriwwitz

Äbbelbutze

Äbbelkrotze

Apfelbatzen

Aapelbaaz

Ääpelbaazen

Appelkrutz

Apfelgripsch

Gnutze

Appelkrutze

Abbelgrutze

Abbelgrutz

Appelgrotze

Apfelbutze

Öpfelbutzen

Apfelpuler

Apfelstrunks

Krötsch

Apfelkrebs

Apfelschnerps

Apfelschnirps

Krüpps

Butzen

Knerzel

Opfibutzn

Apfelgruzl

Bütschgi

Gräubschi

Bätzgi

Bitzgi

Gigertschi

Gürbschi

Grüschi

Gütschi

Öpflbotza

Apfelprobscht

Obfübuhtz

Apfelputzen

Apfelpurzen

Apfelbietz

Apfelkrunsch

Pesek

Pesenk

Apfelkrause

Apfelrest

faunmoss

please can anyone do a dramatic reading of this

thatswhywelovegermany

Here you are

justinripley

loki-cat2

crunchy-boogies

before & after

flxwercrown

thatswhywelovegermany

It overfills us. We sort it. It falls apart. We sort it again and fall apart ourselves.

Rainer Maria Rilke (1875 – 1926), Bohemian-Austrian lyricist, poet, and novelist

hanniballecters

thereal1990s

Pulp Fiction (1994)

intheheatherbright

Costume. Chitons.

intheheatherbright

Marjorie & C. H. B.Quennell, Everyday Things in Archaic Greece (London: B. T. Batsford, 1931).

killerchickadee

Wait, wait…. Is that seriously it? How their clothes go?

treewizarded

that genuinely is it

itwashotwestayedinthewater

yeah hey whats up bout to put some fucking giant sheets on my body

lets bring back sheetwares

ardatli

When you’re carding, spinning and weaving everything from scratch, using the big squares exactly as they come off the loom must seem like a fucking brilliant idea. 90% (or more) of pre-14th century clothing is made purely on squares (and sometimes triangles cut from squares).

annathecrow-that-was

How did they get the fabric so fine it draped like that? Was that something medieval europe forgot? Or do I just have a completely misguided image of historical clothing?

ardatli

Medieval Europe also had incredibly fine weaves, though the ancient world tended to have them beat. Linen was found in Egypt woven with a fineness that we’re still trying to replicate, and there was a kind of cotton woven in India called ‘woven wind’ that was supposedly still translucent at eight layers, and wool shawls so fine that the entire thing could be drawn through a wedding ring.

The way they could get away with pinking and slashing doublets in the 16th century was partially because the fabrics were so tightly woven that you could simply cut a line on the bias and nothing would fray.

Modern fabric machining sucks ass in terms of giving us any kind of quality like the kind human beings produced prior to the Industrial Revolution.

spazzbot

*yells about textile history*

tardygrading

Reblogging because it’s fascinating.

wulfundlied-deactivated20180618

The Celts made very fine clothing as well. They invented plaid after all, and the same weaves that have been found at the La Tene/Halstatt salt mines in Austria were also found as far away as western China in the tombs of the Tarim mummies.

woodsmokeandwords

Can we talk about 18th century and regency era muslin as well because that shit is gorgeous. It’s so fine it’s more transparent than silk chiffon and oh the tiny hems you can make with it!! I have an 18th century neckerchief and the hem is about 2mm wide. Not kidding, 2mm!!! Because it didn’t fray like our stuff does now. All we can produce nowadays is a rough, scratchy, bullshit excuse for muslin and it’s horrid.

bmwiid

I love this because we’ve gotten so blind to what makes ‘good’ fabric now - machine lace? horrible scratchy shit mostly made from poly. Actual lace is handmade, lasts for fucking EVER and looks stunning.

Regency gowns fucking rocked in terms of fabric quality - we use muslin as a ‘throw away’ before sewing the real fabric, back then it WAS a real fabric and it was so finely made you wouldn’t even think it was the same stuff.

Hand hemming is still the best way to finish off anything, but harder than hell because of the shitty weave of modern fabrics.

Satin? Silks?!

Pah. Yes, fabric is cheaper, more affordable and varied than before, but it is an area where QUALITY was sacrificed for QUANTITY.

(I don’t want to seem like I’m shitting on how great we have it now for clothes and martials or anything, because YAY!! but also, I’d love to get my mits on a bolt of real Muslin)

scarimor-deactivated20180521

archaeologists recently found some Bronze Age fabric woven on site and preserved in marsh in England. it’s fine to die for. they were exporting it and trading into Asia.